28 Needlenoses

[lunatron]

Bring it.

1. Naughty Needlenose - claimed by sapphirebreeze
2. Happy Needlenose
3. Silly Needlenose - claimed by sapphirebreeze
4. Angsty Needlenose
5. On-Vacation Needlenose - claimed by sapphirebreeze
6. Horny Needlenose - claimed by dualistic
7. Transforming Needlenose
8. Excited Needlenose
9. Book-Reading Needlenose - claimed by raisedbymoogles
10. Dancing Needlenose - claimed by koilungfish, with his Nebulans

Comments

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[lunatron]

14. On-His-Knees NeedlenoseNeedlenose knelt, hands shackled behind him. He was trying very hard not to start sobbing. He wondered if it showed. Needlenose felt as if the other Decepticons, the real Decepticons could see right through him, to his quivering little core

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[koilungfish]

Heheh. Not sure exactly why Needlenose is being flogged, but I really like the last line. Excellent.

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[lunatron]

Well, Needlenose is in Basic. His unit needed him, and he instead hid in a foxhole. So they all died, with the strong implication that more would have lived if he hadn't been a little wussy boy. This is why he's being flogged.

I'm really happy with the last line.

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[koilungfish]

Right, gotcha.

So you should be. It's good.

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[lunatron]

22. At The Beach Needlenose

This has to be worst way in the history of the universe to spend a day on the beach, Sunbeam thought at Needlenose.

Do you think I like it any more than you do? Needlenose snapped back. Over their link, he felt impatient and ill at ease.

You can’t understand the supreme tragedy, man. The waves, they call out my name, like… like… bodacious siren babes. Sunbeam sighed and tried to stretch. Needlenose’s cockpit, despite being a double-seater trainer model, just seemed all the more cramped for it.

There was a flurry of confusion from Needlenose, and he inquired, Siren? The sort of thing you find on top of Prowl?

Sounds like Prowl’s love life has more action than mine, Sunbeam grumbled. But you know, a siren. A woman of the sea, with a knockout rocker voice that can keep a dude so into her that he wipes out, big time.

Interesting, Needlenose replied, and he did feel interested. I’ve heard similar myths on other worlds, but sea stories are rare on my world.

Dunno why. You have those fab Mercury Breakers. I just don’t

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[koilungfish]

I like this one. It's got good pieces of characterization, and the dialogue between Needlenose and Sunbeam is both amusing and informative. I think this one could stand to be worked up into a longer fic, or part of a longer fic. In any case, more Sunbeam.

So why has nobody tried to surf the Mercury Breakers yet?

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[lunatron]

Thank you. And... heh. Sunbeam's just a surfer bum! Dunno what I'd do with it. I don't really have much of a plot for it, and there are only so many ways to do, "Needlenose hunts down ____."

Surfing just hasn't occured to the Transformers. *Shrugs.* They prefer to water-ski. ;)

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[koilungfish]

Yeah, but so few people - read, practically none - write the Nebulans, and you managed to make Sunbeam interesting here, which is good going for a relatively shallow sort of character.

Obviously the way to make "Needlenose hunts down _____" interesting and complex is a) to see what sort of hazards and difficulties _____ can throw up and b) have some form of dilemma - a question that needs to be resolved, perhaps a question of guilt, or trust, etc - whose resolution is the true climax of the story, around which the pretty explosion are windowdressing.

Yeah, that makes sense. They wouldn't think in terms of starting from a simple board, they'd think in terms of starting from an engine.

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[lunatron]

I write them precisely because others do not.

Well, that's basically the way to make an action-mystery series interesting, and mysteries tend to be hard to write.

You're putting more thought into this than I did. ;)

Re: oooh! oooh! oooh! :D

[koilungfish]

Good on you.

I don't know about mystery, but there's plenty to be done.

Yeah, I do that. It's what I do :)