Unequivocal, Chapter 08
Who knew a single drunken mistake could lead to a lifetime of consequences? Yamato sure didn't think so, but now he's got less than a year to figure out how to be a dad and he's not sure he can. Taito. AU for Tri.
[Digimon] M+, family/drama, 3104 (25935) words, published 10-07-16
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Unequivocal
by: butterflie Chapter Eight
Birth!
"I'm home!" Yamato calls, letting himself in to the apartment.
"Welcome home," his dad greets him, stepping out of the kitchen.
Yamato spots a spatula in his hand, and panics. "You're... you're cooking?" he asks fearfully.
"Just reheating some leftovers..." his dad says defensively. "In fact-"
"Please don't burn the apartment down," Yamato says as his dad cuts himself off and darts back into the kitchen, frantically cursing at the stove. He sighs and heads in, wondering if the food is salvageable.
Luckily the food hasn't really started to burn yet, and he's able to rescue it from his dad's clutches, taking over until it's thoroughly heated, sliding it onto a plate and setting it on the table in front of him.
"Thank you," his dad says, looking chagrined. He just waves it away, taking a seat himself. He's enjoyed himself today, but he's tired out after several hours of walking.
"You were gone for awhile," his dad eventually remarks, not looking up.
"I was on a date," he says, face colouring slightly.
His dad does look up then, studying him briefly. "Ah. With Taichi?"
He colours even more, if such a thing is possible. "Yeah."
"I had a feeling you two would start dating," his dad says, smirking slightly, before finishing up the last bites of his meal. He gets up and carries his plate over to the sink, rinsing it off before setting it carefully down. Then he turns around and leans against the counter, looking at Yamato. "Didn't I say he wouldn't tell you no?"
"Yeah. You were right," Yamato admits.
"Well, I'm happy for you both. Just please don't ever let me catch you in the act again."
He groans. His dad is never going to let the incident go, he can tell. "Do you have to keep bringing that up?"
"What kind of parent would I be if I didn't?"
"A nicer one?" he says teasingly, shaking his head. Still, he's glad his dad is taking everything so well. Several things over the last months could have gone a lot worse. He resolves to get his dad a card or something soon.
* * *
May rolls into June, and the rainy season along with it. A lot of the days are overcast and dreary, the grey clouds leeching away any potential warmth, and even though he knows it won't last, the rain feels endless. Megumi's due date is getting closer, and the weather serves to influence Yamato's mood. Despite talking with Ratsuii several times about it, he's still doubting himself. He's read the parenting books, he's finished the parenting classes his dad had signed him up for, but he still doesn't feel like he knows the first thing about being a parent, especially a single one.
When he finds himself tossing and turning in bed one night, staring at the red numbers on his clock as they slowly tick away the hour, he knows he can't let it keep eating away at him anymore. He throws back the covers with a sigh, sliding out of bed and into his slippers, padding out of his room and down the dark hallway to his dad's closed bedroom door.
He knocks gently on the door, softly calling, "Dad?"
There's a moment's silence, and then his dad's sleep-fogged voice mumbles, "Yamato? Everything okay?"
He feels bad upon realising he's woken his dad, but he doesn't let it stop him. "I can't sleep," he says, still softly. "Can I come in and talk to you?"
There's some rustling, and a click as his dad turns on the small lamp beside his bed. "Yeah, come in," his dad says, clearing his throat.
He gropes around for the knob and then pushes the door open, squinting as light floods the hallway. His dad's already sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He goes in and sits down on the other side of the bed, automatically beginning to pick at some fluff on his dad's forest green blanket.
His dad watches him for a bit, taking the time to wake up, before he eventually speaks. "I doubt you came in here just to pick apart my covers," his dad says gently. "What's bothering you?"
He shrugs, feeling a little silly now that he's actually in here. "Just stupid stuff," he mutters.
His dad reaches out, placing his hand on top of Yamato's, stilling his motions. "I know I'm not exactly the best person with words and emotions, and I see a lot of that in you too, but you can talk to me, Yamato. I'll do my best to listen, and not judge you or think you 'stupid,' as you say."
He looks up at that, and gives his dad a weak smile. "When you and mom divorced, was it hard?"
His dad frowns a bit, as if he's unsure why Yamato's asking the question. "Well, it wasn't easy. I still loved your mom, we just knew we couldn't be together anymore."
He smiles slightly, knowing it's his fault for not being more clear. "No, I meant... with me. Having to be a single dad all of a sudden."
"Ah." A knowing look comes across his dad's face at that, and he takes a moment before speaking again. "It was... difficult. When you were a baby I had your mom and grandparents to share the responsibility with, so it didn't seem as scary," his dad says. Then he sighs. "But suddenly it was just me. I was the only person there to make sure you were clothed, bathed, fed... When I would be tired, or not feeling well, or just needing a break... there wasn't anyone there to give me one anymore. It was a big weight on my shoulders."
He swallows, not feeling reassured by that in the least. "I'm scared," he admits softly.
His dad chuckles, though he can tell it's not meant to make fun. "I'd be more worried if you weren't." His dad looks at him, face going solemn. "It's not going to be easy, Yamato. And yes, as a single dad it'll be even tougher. There are going to be nights where you don't get any sleep, and you won't have any choice but to just keep going through the next day and hope you make it. There's going to be times when you're so frustrated and worn out that all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry, but you simply won't have the time. There's going to be a lot of moments where you realise you don't have any idea what you're doing, and you'll wonder why you ever thought you could be a dad. It may be the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life."
He raises an eyebrow at that. "More than saving the Digital World twice?"
"Though I couldn't go with you kids to see what your battles consisted of, most likely, yes. Saving the Digital World isn't a lifelong event. Being a dad is."
"Not exactly making me look forward to being one, Dad," he mutters.
His dad lets out another chuckle. "I don't want to sugarcoat it for you. I don't want you thinking you'll just be able to breeze though this parenting thing. But you will learn, Yamato, just like all the rest of us parents did. And I promise, the first time your son smiles at you, or laughs, or calls you daddy... moments like that are what make all the self-doubt and frustration and exhaustion worth it. Even though it'll be tough, I know you'll make a great dad, Yamato."
He sighs. He's not sure yet if he feels any better about his impending fatherhood, but his dad's confidence in him warms him. He smiles at his dad. "I hope so."
* * *
I want to be at the birth, if the offer still stands. If your parents won't kill me.
Yes, it does. It's just my mom in there. She won't.
Okay.
I'll arrange things. One of my parents will call whenever it's time.
Mid-July, right?
Yes, if everything goes well.
Great. Thanks.
You're welcome.
* * *
Eventually July rolls around, and with it, the last day of the term. Megumi's due date was three days ago, and he's been on edge ever since, waiting for the call to tell him she's finally gone into labour. He gets up Friday morning wondering if today will be the day, if his son will at last be born so that he can finally meet him.
He goes through his usual morning routine to get ready for school, and he and his dad are just finishing up a quick breakfast when the phone rings. He looks at it nervously.
"It's probably just Fuji TV," his dad says, "they were instructed to call me if there were any problems this morning."
Yamato watches him as he goes to answer it. His dad's face is solemn, not giving anything away, and he listens for a few moments before saying, "Okay, thank you," and hanging up.
His dad looks back at him. "It's time. Do you still want to go?"
His heart skips a beat. It's time! He nods nervously, his mouth suddenly feeling too dry to speak.
"Okay, finish getting dressed while I call work and your school."
He does so in a daze, absently putting their plates in the sink before heading down the hall to throw some clothes on. His mind is racing, wondering what's going to happen and what it's going to be like. He pulls on some black pants and a red-trimmed black shirt without really looking at them, then grabs the small bag he's had prepared for more than a week now. It's mostly things to do in case the wait is long, or he has to stay overnight for some reason, but right now he can't picture himself doing anything other than sitting and waiting anxiously until it's time for the delivery.
Once he's dressed, he goes back out to the kitchen to listen while his dad explains the situation to work. "I understand that," his dad is saying, "but I told you weeks ago about this... Yes. Yes, I understand. It's already been approved."
He shakes his head, and pulls out his cell to text Taichi. It's time!! About to go to the hospital now. I'm nervous. Will update you.
A few minutes later, when his dad's finally convinced his work that he's not coming in and they're about to head out the door, his phone chimes with a reply. It'll be fine! I'll come see you this afternoon! <3
He smiles, slightly reassured, and follows his dad out.
* * *
He's hovering in the corner of the delivery room, feeling a bit nauseous and trying his best to keep out of the way. He's not sure now why he wanted to be present for this. After eleven hours of labour, Megumi's now spent the last hour pushing when told, and the baby's head has only recently started crowning. She's been screaming in pain throughout most of it, sweat pouring down her face, mingling with the involuntarily tears produced by such exertion. Her mom's up by her head, constantly wiping her face with a cloth and soothing her with encouraging words.
His own parents are out in the waiting room, along with Taichi and Takeru. He sort of wishes one of them were in here with him. It feels like it's taking forever. He doesn't know what's normal. He's worried something may be going wrong. He watches her anxiously.
When the doctor at last says, "We've got a healthy baby boy!" he nearly cries in relief. Less than a minute later all the worry completely leaves him when he hears his son crying for the first time. He looks on in amazement as the doctor clamps the umbilical cord, and then looks towards him. "Would you like to cut the cord?" he asks.
Yamato looks at him hesitantly. "Me?"
The doctor smiles and motions him over. He approaches and takes the scissors from him, and cuts where he's told.
"Would you like to hold the baby now, Mom?" one of the nurses ask, and Megumi wearily shakes her head. The nurse looks at Yamato then, who nods.
She puts the baby into his arms gently, and he looks down into his son's face for the first time with wonderment, his eyes a bit wet. "Hi Naoki," he says softly, a happy smile on his face. "Welcome to the world. I'm your daddy." He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to his son's forehead, right below the fuzzy little patch of dark hair. Looking at his son, he's caught off guard by the feeling of intense love, and an urge to protect him and never let any harm come to him. It's with great reluctance that he hands his baby back over to the nurses a few minutes later, so they can get measurements and do whatever else is needed. They assure him that Naoki will be in the nursery within the hour, and Yamato can come spend as much time as he likes with him.
Feeling strangely empty now, he disposes of his scrubs and heads back out to the lobby where his family is waiting. They look at him anxiously when they catch sight of them, but he just smiles. "I'm a dad," he says, amazed, the reality of his son's birth suddenly hitting him. He has a son, he's a dad now, his parents are now grandparents, his brother's an uncle.
His parents' faces light up with joy, and Taichi rushes up to him, hugging him in excitement. He hugs him back, crying and laughing in sheer happiness and a bit of disbelief as well. "I'm a dad!" he repeats, and Taichi hugs him tighter.
* * *
An hour and a half later, he and Taichi are looking at Naoki from the nursery window. His parents have taken an "I'm absolutely starving, Dad, completely dying!" Takeru to the cafeteria for some food. They'd offered to bring him and Taichi back something as well, but they've both declined, too excited still to think about eating right now.
"He's so little," Taichi says, face and hands pressed up against the glass, looking in at Yamato's son. "And so... red, and wrinkly." He makes a face.
Yamato grins, amused. "You looked like that once too, you know," he says. "He'll grow."
"I hope so," Taichi says. He waves toward the infant. "Hi, baby Naoki."
"You know he's asleep, right?"
"I can still say hi," Taichi remarks, poking him in the side. They both watch him sleep a bit longer, before Taichi asks, "Have you texted the others yet?"
"No." He shakes his head. "I'll do that now. Let's go outside, though. Cell phones aren't allowed in here."
Taichi grabs his hand, and they stroll outside. It's dark out by now, and though it's July, the night has a bit of an unusual chill to it. He shivers a little, prompting Taichi to let go of his hand and wrap an arm around his shoulders instead, pulling him in close. He smiles and leans in to the touch, pulling out his cell. He opens up the group text for all of the Chosen and starts punching in letters. Naoki born two hours ago... 8lbs 2oz and 22 in!
It doesn't take him long to get several excited texts back. Taichi laughs as his phone keeps chiming every few seconds. "They'll all be swarming the hospital tomorrow."
"I hope not," he says, feeling alarmed at the thought. "They'd all want to hold him, and I'm sure he can't handle all that excitement yet."
Taichi just laughs again, holding him closer. Yamato snuggles against him and thinks that the day couldn't be any more perfect right now.
* * *
"Hard to believe something so small will eventually grow into a full-sized human," Taichi says. It's a little bit later, and they're once more at the nursery, Taichi pressing his nose against the glass again, looking in at Naoki, amazement still on his face. Yamato's parents have come and gone several times. His dad cried upon seeing Naoki for the first time, which made him feel a little awkward. Now they're in the lobby, packing up and preparing to leave shortly.
"Do you want to hold him?" Yamato asks his boyfriend.
"Me?" Taichi returns, wide-eyed.
"Of course you," he scoffs. "Who else?"
"What if I drop him?" Taichi worries.
"You won't," he tells him confidently. "Come on." He leads Taichi into the nursery and quickly gets the attention of a nurse, explaining what he wants. She leads them over to Naoki, and carefully picks him up, showing Taichi how to hold him before handing him over and walking off again.
Taichi looks down at him in awe, staring wide-eyed at the tiny infant in his arms. "I'm actually holding him," he says in astonishment, and Yamato can't help but grin at him. "He seems even tinier close up," Taichi adds. "I didn't think noses and ears could be that small..."
"It's actually his feeding time," the nurse remarks as she comes back with a bottle, glancing at Yamato. "Would you like to feed him?"
He nods, and the nurse quickly shows him how after he takes Naoki back from Taichi. He watches with some surprise as the tiny mouth opens up, seeking for a moment before latching on to the nipple of the bottle.
After Naoki's had his fill and has been put back down to sleep again, Yamato glances at a nearby clock and realises it's getting late. They head back out to the lobby, where Takeru and his mom are getting ready to leave.
His mom comes over and gives him a hug goodbye, which he accepts without fussing for once. "I'm proud of you," she whispers to him. He pulls back and smiles at her.
Takeru's next, hugging him fiercely with a tired smile on his face. "Even if you're a dad now, you're still my big brother," he says.
"Always," Yamato reassures him.
Once they're gone, he looks over at his boyfriend. "Need a ride home? Or..." he hesitates, glancing to his dad. "You could stay at mine tonight? If it's okay."
His dad nods his agreement. "That's fine, if he doesn't mind coming back to the hospital with us in the morning. And provided there's no alcohol involved this time."
Yamato rolls his eyes. "That'd hardly be responsible parenting on my first day as a dad."
His dad and Taichi both just laugh. I stuck with American measurements for the baby. I tried to look up what Japan uses, but, well, numbers aren't my strong point. Forgive me :) next chapter