Waiting (rewrite), Book 1, Chapter 1
After living through hell for months, Yamato is finally free from Ken and ready to move on with his life. But are things ever really that simple? Sequel to Untold Secrets. References to rape/sexual abuse and suicide. Some violence/swearing.
[Digimon] M, drama/hurt/comfort, 10642 words, published 07-08-11
Author's Notes: I thought about it, and decided to go ahead and post the chapters here as I finished rather than waiting until I rewrote the entire thing. However, I'm considering them for rough drafts for now, because even though I've got a pretty detailed outline, I still don't know for sure that everything will work the way I want. Eventually I will replace the rough drafts here with the final versions, but that probably won't be until the story is complete and I'm sure I don't want to change anything else. Which also means word counts here may not match up with the list on ffnet, as the list is easier to keep accurate. UPDATE This chapter has been replaced with the final version.
I tried to fix most of the really obvious, glaring errors in plot/logic. I also addressed some things I never bothered to consider before, like why Yamato's mother didn't seem to give a crap about her son being raped even though it was on the news.
Other things I left alone. For example, this fic is very heavily Americanized. As I've stated before, I was only fifteen when I started writing this. I hadn't yet learned how Japanese schools worked, or even realized that they were different (hello self-centeredness). I did consider fixing it, but there are way too many school scenes in this fic that have a direct impact on events, and to change them would require changing pretty much the entire fic, so unfortunately the Americanization stays. If it really bugs you, just pretend the school is experimenting to see how an American system would work out, or something.
Characterizations are also a lot more fanon-based than canon. To be honest, it's been a few years since I've watched Digimon and my memory is not the best, so I didn't even realize just how fanon-based they are. For example, I was watching the episode with Wizardmon haunting Fuji TV the other night and was surprised to see Yamato say he wasn't much of a cook, as it's the complete opposite in so many fics I've read, my own included.
I also left the title alone, even though it really doesn't make any sense and has nothing to do with the fic. I'm not sure it ever did, I can't remember how I finally decided on 'Waiting' for it. I do know it's too firmly ingrained in my mind as Waiting for me to ever change it. I'm okay with that, though. I did change most of the lyrics for the chapters, though.
Lastly, you'll see the story is divided into two "books". These used to have a bit more significance in the original, as I had Taichi and Yamato have magical healing cock sex at the end of chapter six and that no longer happens now :) In the original, Book 2 started at chapter 7 and was supposed to represent Yamato finally beginning to move on/heal from Ken and focus more on the plot with Kento/Sento. Now, while it does still somewhat represent things amping up with Kensen, Yamato is in no way over the things Ken did, and the books literally just divide the story in half (unless you count the epilogue).
Can't think of anything else. If I do and it's important, I'll mention it.
Waiting
by: butterflie
chapter one, confessions
Book One
when you feel all alone
and a loyal friend is hard to find
you're caught in a one way street
with the monsters in your head
when hopes and dreams are far away and
you feel like you can't face the day
let me be the one you call
if you jump I'll break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the night
if you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
if you need to crash then crash and burn
you're not alone
- Savage Garden, crash and burn.
"...former child prodigy Ichijouji Ken was arrested yesterday on a number of charges, including the sexual and physical assault of seventeen year old Ishida Yamato, the lead vocalist of rising fame boy band Teenage Wolves. Police are..."
"Taichi! Oh my god..." My sister was staring horrified at the television screen, a mixture of shock, revulsion, and disbelief in her voice. It was rather akin to my own horror and disgust.
"I know, Hikari, I'm hearing it..." I absently murmured. I sat next to her, listening intently to the reporter, not quite believing what I was hearing. Loathe to take my eyes off the glowing screen, I remained hunched over, watching in repelled fascination, wondering how I could have ever missed this. Granted, Yamato had been out of school for two weeks, but every time I tried calling over there, his dad would just say he was sick and not up to talking. Something about the flu and then mono.
And now this reporter was saying that Ken was abusing him. Had he never been sick at all? Had his dad lied to me?
"Where's the phone?"
"What?" Hikari still hadn't stopped watching the news, even though the reporter had moved on to something else by now.
"The phone, Hikari, the phone! You had it last, where is it?"
She looked up at me, eyes solemn. "It's out in the living room, on the charger. Are you calling him?"
I sighed. "I thought he was sick. That's what his dad kept telling me. 'He's sick, call back in a few days.' If I had even once suspected..."
"You couldn't have known, Taichi," she said quietly. "Don't beat yourself up over it."
I shook my head. "I just need to talk to him." I left my room and went out to the living room, grabbing the phone. I punched in Yamato's number and waited impatiently, hoping that someone would actually pick up.
One ring... two rings... a gruff voice on the other end. "Hello?"
"Mr. Ishida?" I stopped, thrown off by the noises I heard in the background. It sounded like someone was crying. Yamato? "Um, this is Taichi... Is Yamato there?"
There was a deep, heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, Taichi, he's still-"
"I saw the news," I blurted out, tired of the lying. "I know he's not sick. They said... they said..." I couldn't actually bring myself to say it out loud, as if there was some chance the reporter had been lying.
"I see," Mr. Ishida said quietly. He sounded tired and old. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way. Yamato's still a minor, his name shouldn't have been said. They shouldn't have even had his name."
"Is he okay?" I asked hesitantly. There were still some sobbing noises in the background, although they seemed a bit calmer. It could have just been my imagination, though.
"He will be, eventually." Which was answer enough, really. "He ought to be back in school next Monday. You can talk to him then."
"Alright," I said. "Thanks. Tell him..." I paused, suddenly at a loss for words. What did you say to someone who'd been through something like that? To imagine what Yamato must have undoubtedly gone through-no. I couldn't even begin to imagine it, and to try just didn't seem right. This wasn't really something that could be fixed with a few simple words over the phone. "I guess just tell him I'll see next week, and he's free to call if he wants to talk." It was lame, but I really hadn't even begun to process the shock of the news yet.
"I'll tell him."
I hung up the phone slowly, still rather blown away by the whole thing. And I admit it, I was also rather curious about just what exactly did happen. As far as I had known, he and Ken had been really close friends. I hadn't really seen much that would indicate that had changed lately, on either of their parts. And Yamato himself had seemed more or less okay. I wondered if he would tell me anything when he came back to school. I didn't expect him to call.
I just hoped he actually showed up next week. I missed my best friend.
* * *
When the next Monday morning rolled around, I got up early and made it to homeroom in record time. I was anxious to see Yamato, and to talk to him. He hadn't called at all last week, which was about what I'd been expecting. Though given all the talk and rumours flying around the school, it was probably good he hadn't been there to hear it.
I got more and more anxious as homeroom went on without any sign of Yamato. When the bell rang signalling the end and he still hadn't showed, I found it disconcertingly hard to swallow the lump of disappointment lodged bitterly in my throat. I got up from my desk and left the room slowly. On the way to second period, I found that I kept searching the halls, hoping for a glimpse of the golden blond hair and slender form I wished desperately to see.
Second period study hall was the one class Yamato and I didn't share this year, and it dragged on slowly. Matsuda Sensei was a stickler for using the period to actually study, so I dragged out my algebra books and pretended to be reading, but in actuality I couldn't concentrate on them at all. I was wondering if Yamato would be in third period, or if he just wouldn't show up at all for the day. The moment the bell rang, I was tossing my books back into my bag and jumping up, practically running out of the room and down the halls to my third period class.
Yamato wasn't in third. However, all three of his band members shared this class with us, and they grabbed seats near me when they came in.
"Hey Taichi," Nyusumi greeted me. He was the keyboardist for their group, and a pretty good one at that.
"Hey Ny. Kenji, Ratz," I nodded at the other two. Ratsuii smiled at me. He was the lead guitarist and often did backup vocals, and he was usually the most level-headed of the band.
"Where's Yamato?" Kenji asked me, frowning. His hands were already absently beating out an anxious rhythm on the desk. Obviously, he was the group's drummer.
I sighed. "I don't know," I told them. "He wasn't in homeroom."
"But his dad told us he'd be back in school today," Kenji argued.
I shrugged unhappily. "That's what his dad told me too, but he's not here. I'm sorry, I don't know any more. I haven't been able to talk to Yamato in three weeks, his dad always fields his calls."
"Yeah, same here," Ny grumbled. "His dad kept trying to give us some bullshit about him having mono, even after that news report aired."
"Can you really blame him, though?" Ratsuii asked. "If something like that happened to me, I'd rather have everyone thinking I was sick, too."
I opened my mouth to respond, but just then the bell rang and Mitsuo Sensei swept into the room, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention.
"Alright students, settle down!" she called. "It's time to get started, so please take out your books and some paper. We'll be starting a new chapter today."
The four of us grew silent, Ny and Kenji turning around in their seats to face the front. I got out my books with a heavy heart, great black waves of disappointment washing over me. I'd still been hoping Yamato would show up at the last minute. I just wanted to see him, to reassure myself that he was more or less okay, no matter what Ken may have done to him. But it seemed that just wasn't going to happen today.
I didn't hear a word of class.
* * *
A couple more class periods later, and lunch time finally rolled around. Yamato had still been a no-show, and I'd pretty much given up watching for him. There were only two classes left, it would be pointless for him to go at that point.
I sat down at my usual table with Koushiro, Sora, and Mimi, who'd moved back to Odaiba a couple years ago. I was picking at my bento, half-heartedly listening to Sora talking about some guy in her tennis club she wanted to ask out, when suddenly Koushiro gasped out, "Yamato?"
For some reason I paled a bit, and then whirled around to see Yamato standing behind me. He gave us all a small half-smile. "Hi," he said. As he chatted with the others a bit, I took the time to study him. It'd only been three weeks, but he seemed so changed from the Yamato I'd last joked and laughed with, the Yamato I'd said 'see you tomorrow' to on that Thursday.
He just seemed so worn, and defeated, and though he was smiling at the other three, the smile wasn't reaching his eyes at all. It was a smile purely for their benefit, a smile that he didn't feel one part of. There were dark hollows under his eyes, hollows that suggested he didn't remember the last time he'd had a proper sleep, and the eyes themselves were filled with shadows, ones that had never been there before. Whatever Ken did to him, it was bad.
"Taichi?" Yamato said, and I realised he'd been trying to get my attention.
"Yeah! Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I was somewhere else, you know me..."
He gave me another one of those fake smiles. "I asked if you wanted to come outside and sit with me, talk a bit."
My stomach gave a funny little lurch. Did he actually want to talk? "Sure," I said, standing up. "I'm done here." I shoved the remains of my lunch to the middle of the table, knowing that if one of the others didn't eat it, they'd at least throw it away for me. "Let's go."
We headed out the back of the school, and I followed Yamato to a cluster of trees a little ways away. He sat down in a shady spot below them, motioning for me to do the same. I did, staying silent. Now that Yamato was actually here, I found that everything I'd been wanting to say to him for the past week had completely flown out of my head.
"I'm glad you're here," I said eventually, when Yamato didn't seem inclined to speak either.
"Yeah," he said quietly, and fell silent again. I sat listening to the slight rustle of the leaves above us, shivering slightly in the February chill. Instead of trying to make him talk again, I decided to just let him speak when he was ready, if he even was going to speak. I still wasn't sure if he really wanted to. Eventually, however, it paid off, because some time later he finally spoke up.
"Four months," he said softly.
"What?" I asked, caught off-guard. I looked at him, eyes reflecting my confusion.
He closed his own eyes briefly. "It went on for four months," he clarified. "K-Ken, I mean," he said, stumbling on Ken's name a bit.
Four months? He'd only been out of school for three weeks... How had he hidden it for so long? How had I never noticed? He'd seemed more or less the same, maybe a bit more tired and distracted that past month before his absence, but I'd put it down to stress over the band and their upcoming fanclub concert, and when his dad said he'd gotten sick I'd figured that must have been it... Of course, he wasn't sick at all... "I saw the news," I admitted hesitantly.
"I know. My dad said."
"That reporter said you were physically assaulted, and, well-" I just didn't want to say it. 'Rape' was such an ugly word, and dressing it up in phrases like 'sexual assault' didn't do a thing to disguise its ugliness. I didn't want that word to apply to my best friend.
Yamato turned his head, looking out over the field instead. "He had a crush on me."
What? What did that have to do with anything? I stayed quiet, hoping he'd explain himself more.
"He asked me out. I turned him down. He hurt me... he apologised after, and I stupidly believed him." Yamato paused, swallowing. He still wasn't looking at me, and his voice was so quiet, hardly above a whisper. Everything around us was completely still. Even the leaves in the trees had stopped swaying, as if sensing the seriousness of our topic. "About a week later, I invited him round. Just to watch movies, and try to fix our friendship. I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was in my bed. His hand was down..." he trailed off then, voice hitching, but I got the picture. The horrifying, all too clear picture.
"That must have been terrifying," I said softly to him. To wake up in the night and find someone you used to trust, were trying to trust once more, in your bed touching you...
He nodded jerkily. "Yeah." The bell rang in the distance just then, but we both ignored it. I didn't care about history class. Yamato was more important. "It just kept-escalating, after that. He started getting violent. I didn't know what to do. I was scared."
"Why didn't you tell someone?"
He actually laughed at that, a dark, bitter sound. "I was going to. I threatened to. He said he'd kill me. That was about three weeks ago."
Right about the time he'd stopped coming to school. Had Ken actually tried to kill him? If so, it had obviously failed, but... "What happened?" I asked gently, knowing that something had. Something different. Significant.
He finally looked back at me then. He wasn't crying, though his eyes were sad and desperate. I felt so pained, seeing him with such a look. He shouldn't have looked like that. He didn't deserve it. "I didn't want to tell you," he said. He laughed again. "Actually, I didn't want to tell you any of this, until that reporter. But this... I wasn't going to tell you this. But I think you'd find out eventually, somehow, and I'd rather it be from me."
"Tell me what?" I asked him, not sure what he was talking about.
He lifted his right hand, where a plaster cast was peeking out of his long sleeves. I'd noticed it earlier, in the lunchroom, but hadn't yet wanted to ask him about it. "You noticed this, I'm sure," he said, and I nodded. He took a deep breath then, and, still looking at me, pulled back his left sleeve to reveal a white gauze bandage wrapped around his wrist a few times.
I didn't get it at first. But then he told me, "There used to be a similar one around my right wrist, before the cast," and then it hit me, what he was trying to tell me.
He'd tried to kill himself.
"Oh," I said, too shocked to come up with another response. It was like my brain was just refusing to process what it was being told. I didn't want to believe Yamato would hurt himself any more than I wanted to believe that Ken hurt him. "Yamato, I'm so sorry..."
He yanked his sleeve back down, and then pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "I know it was dumb," he said. "I just thought, I'd rather kill myself than let him kill me."
I could not even begin to imagine what kind of fear you'd have to be living in for a thought process like that to seem okay. I was starting to really hate Ken for what he'd apparently done to Yamato.
"There's more," he said then. "But Ny's coming this way, so it'll have to wait."
I blinked, and looked back in the direction of the school. Nyusumi was indeed heading this way, his dyed purple hair blowing around him in the breeze that had once again picked back up.
"Did he know you were here?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, I stopped and saw the band briefly before I went over to see you guys." Yamato shrugged. "I didn't tell him I'd be out here, though."
"Ah." We stopped talking and watched him approach. "What's up, Ny?" I asked when he reached us.
He looked down at us. "Motokuri Sensei sent me to find you, Taichi. I told him you were here at roll call." He glanced between me and Yamato. "I didn't tell him you were here though, Yamato. I wasn't sure if you intended to go to class."
Yamato shrugged. "I'm here, I might as well."
I sighed, reluctantly getting to my feet. "Is he really mad?" I asked Ny.
"More annoyed at this point, although if you don't show up in the next five minutes he'll probably be pissed."
"Alright." I waved Ny away. "Go on, we'll be right behind you."
Ny just nodded at us and started heading back. I looked down at Yamato, still sitting beneath the tree. He looked so lost and forlorn, a look I hadn't seen on him since our first days in the Digital World. It was breaking my heart. "We'll talk more later?" I asked, trying to let nothing of what I was feeling show.
He gave me a small smile. To his credit, it was actually a real one. "Yeah. Come round to my place after school. I know you've probably got questions."
"You don't have to answer them, you know," I told him seriously. "You didn't have to tell me any of this, honestly. Not that I don't appreciate it," I added hastily. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me."
"You're the only person I ever considered telling over these past few months," he admitted softly. "I really missed you."
I was a bit taken aback by that, and didn't quite know what to say. I ignored the little flutter my heart gave. Instead I just smiled at him and held out a hand to help him up. "Come on, let's get to class before Sensei gives me detention for life."
* * *
"I'm home," I dutifully announced that evening as I walked into my family's apartment, shutting the door behind me.
"Welcome home," I heard my sister call back. I wandered into the kitchen where she was sitting at the table, doing some homework. For reasons I couldn't fathom, Hikari always preferred to do her homework there rather than her bedroom desk. I did it at the table too, sometimes, but only because it put me closer to the fridge. More than one teacher had noted food stains on my homework in the past.
"Where's mom and dad?" I asked her as I opened the fridge, staring moodily into it. I shut it back a moment later without taking anything out. I really wasn't in the mood for any food.
Hikari watched me shut the fridge in surprise, eyebrows raised slightly. "Dad's in their room watching tv, and mom's in the shower."
"Oh." I opened the freezer for good measure, found nothing appealing, and shut it. "I'm going to my room to rest. If you see Mom, tell her I'm home safe."
"Are you okay?" she asked me, sounding a bit concerned.
I shrugged and started to leave. "I'm fine." I went into my bedroom and closed the door, tossing my bookbag at our desk and climbing into the bottom bunk of my bed. It was the same bed I had once shared with my sister when we were younger, and I had never bothered to ask my parents for a newer one. It was a place to sleep, that was enough for me.
I let out a breath and stared at the wooden slab of the bunk above me. I couldn't stop thinking about the things I'd learned today. I'd went over to Yamato's after school let out, and he'd told me a bit more. Mostly about those three weeks he'd been gone. His dad had found him and rushed him to the hospital after his suicide attempt, and apparently the hospital saw some things that made them suspicious, so they'd done an examination and found evidence that suggested that someone had been hurting him. He'd told me how he was too afraid to tell his dad the truth. How he'd stood up to Ken once and got stabbed for it. How he'd refused to let Ken in and finally realised how ridiculous everything had become. How he'd told his dad, and they'd gone to the police next day, and had Ken arrested a few days after that.
He didn't actually give much in the way of details, but just the few things he did say were horrifying enough. To think that Ken had actually gone so far as to stab him... Yamato could have died. Hell, he could have succeeded in his suicide attempt. I could have lost my best friend.
What could have made Ken do such horrible things in the first place? Granted, he'd been the Digimon Kaiser when he was younger, but at least then he'd had the excuse of thinking Digimon were just data to be manipulated. And it was a pretty big leap besides to go from abusing monsters you didn't think were real to abusing an actual human being, someone you knew was real and supposedly considered a close friend.
He had a crush on me, Yamato had said. I didn't understand that one at all. I've had a crush on Yamato for months, but never once have I considered hurting him because of it.
"Taichi?" There was a quick knock on the door, interrupting my musing, and then Hikari came in. She shut the door back behind her and came over to the bed, sitting down on the edge beside me.
"What is it, Hikari?" I asked, sighing. Couldn't she see that I just wanted to be alone for awhile?
"What's wrong?"
"What makes you think anything's wrong?" I asked her.
She gave me a look. "Come on, Taichi. I know you, and I know when something's bothering you. Spill."
I rolled over onto my side away from her, facing the wall. Any pretense of pretending to be fine was gone. "I saw Yamato today," I admitted. "He came to school at lunch time."
"Really? Is he doing okay?" She sounded curious, but also genuinely sympathetic.
I thought of the bandage on Yamato's wrist and the shadows in his eyes as he talked, and laughed. It wasn't a happy sound. "Not really." I closed my eyes, feeling so angry all of a sudden. "I think Ken messed him up pretty bad."
Hikari didn't say anything to that, so I went on. "I just... I don't understand. You know they got to be pretty close friends these past couple years. I don't get why or how Ken could do the things he did."
"Well," Hikari began slowly. "I'm not saying this is an excuse, or that it makes what he did alright, but Daisuke recently told me a few things about Ken that might help explain why he went so off the deep end."
I rolled back over. "Yeah? Like what?"
She looked at me, her face solemn and voice stern. "You can't tell anyone about this, okay? Daisuke swore me to secrecy when he told me. I really shouldn't even be telling you."
"I swear, Hikari, I won't tell anyone. Please tell me."
"Well, apparently Daisuke had a conversation with Ken a couple months ago, and Ken told Daisuke that he'd been having a lot of dreams about being constantly surrounded by darkness. He said that he often felt like he was choking, and several times he'd find himself endlessly falling in a pitch black hole. He also dreamed about being the Digimon Kaiser again, and doing horrible things."
"Well no wonder, considering he was doing horrible things," I muttered.
Hikari shrugged. "No one knew that at the time. You remember how he'd been the past few months. We all knew something was bothering him. Daisuke figured the dreams were just a manifestation of what he was feeling, so he asked if anything bad had happened lately to make him feel that way."
She stopped talking for a minute, getting off the edge of the bed and wandering over to my desk. She started absently twirling around the globe that was sitting on it. When it didn't seem that she was going to speak any more, I spoke up impatiently. "Well? Had anything happened?"
She gave the globe another spin for good measure. "Yeah. Turns out Ken had a baby brother that he never told anyone about."
"What!" I exclaimed, sitting up fast. "How did no one know that? Why he didn't tell anyone?"
"Daisuke didn't say. I got the feeling Ken didn't say. But he had a brother, only a few months old. Ken and his parents went out to eat one night, for his birthday I think, and left Subaru-his brother-at home with a babysitter. When they got back they found both of them dead. The babysitter had been raped, and both of them had been stabbed and left to bleed to death."
I could only stare at my sister at that point, shocked completely beyond speech. How had something like that managed to happen to Ken, and not one of us knew it? Hell, Ken probably never even told Yamato.
Hikari gave me a grave look, finally abandoning the globe to sit in the desk chair. "You understand, of course, you can't tell anyone this. You promised."
"I know. I won't, Hikari. Just... man. What a horrible thing to come home to. Ken's got the worst luck with brothers," I said grimly.
Hikari didn't respond to that, and we sat in an uncomfortable disquiet for a bit. I was trying to digest everything she had told me, though it was hard to wrap my mind around it. She was right, it didn't excuse the things Ken did to Yamato, and it didn't really make me hate him any less, but it was easier to understand just how messed up it made him. It couldn't be a coincidence that the babysitter was raped and stabbed, and then Ken turned around a bit later and did the same thing to Yamato. It was just lucky that Yamato didn't die from it.
"Do you still like Yamato?"
"Huh?" I jerked, startled out of my thoughts, and narrowly missed hitting my head on the ladder to the top bunk. "Of course, he's my friend, why wouldn't I?"
"Don't be deliberately dense, Taichi."
I sighed. "Yes, I still like him. That hasn't changed. You'd think after half a year I'd give up..."
"Why not tell him?"
I gave her a wild, panicked look at that. "What! No! I can't tell him something like that."
"Why not?"
"Because," I said incredulously. "I can't just tell him something like that out of nowhere. Especially not now, not after everything he's been through. He'd probably hate me."
"He wouldn't, Taichi," she told me softly. "You're his best friend."
"I don't even know if he likes guys."
"You'll never know if you don't tell him."
"Let's not argue over this," I said, suddenly weary. "I just don't think it's a good time to tell him. I'm not ready."
"Fine," she said, standing up. "But at least consider it." Then she was gone.
I stared after her as she left. I knew her heart was in the right place. She'd always been supportive of me ever since I confessed to her that I was gay and had a crush on Yamato. If all this with Ken hadn't happened, I might have actually considered telling him. But all I could think about was what Yamato had said at lunch.
"He had a crush on me."
And he'd been hurt for it. I didn't want Yamato to get the wrong idea, or question my motives for telling him. I didn't want him to be afraid or worry that I'd hurt him if he turned me down.
I couldn't tell Hikari that, though. Yamato had told me in confidence, and I'd never betray him by telling his business to anyone, especially not something so personal and painful. No, I just couldn't tell him right now.
I laid back down and rolled over to face the wall again.
* * *
I got up early the next morning and got ready for school quickly, foregoing breakfast. It surprised my parents, but sometimes there were more important things than food. Once ready, I headed over to Yamato's apartment, wanting to walk to school with him. It was an old, comfortable ritual ever since we'd started high school, and I'd missed it the past few weeks.
"Hey, Mr. Ishida," I greeted him when he answered my knock. "I'm here for Yamato. Is he still here?"
Mr. Ishida sighed. "Hello, Taichi. He's still here. He's in his room, upset about something. Maybe you can get him to talk."
Upset? "Sure. I'll go talk to him." I walked in as he stepped aside, heading directly for Yamato's room. I found him sitting on his bed, still dressed in pyjama's, staring moodily down at the school uniform he had clenched in his hands.
"Yamato?" I asked him quietly, coming over and sitting down next to him on the bed. "What's wrong?"
He didn't look at me, just grasped his uniform tighter and shrugged. "I don't want to go," he admitted softly.
"Why not?" I asked.
He looked up at me briefly, and to my surprise, his eyes were watery. He wasn't quite crying, but he was close. It completely shocked me, because Yamato would never cry around someone if he could help it. Even I'd only seen him cry a handful of times in the six years I'd known him.
"What is it?" I asked, feeling my stomach clench. I felt helpless and I hated it. I didn't like seeing him in pain.
There was a long pause, and then Yamato let out a choked sob, looking down at his hands. "They're saying I made it up!"
"Who is, and made what up?" I was confused, not at all sure what he was talking about.
"Yesterday, between sixth and seventh period. You remember, Motokuri Sensei held me back after class... I told you to go on ahead?"
"I remember," I said, beginning to have an inkling of what he was talking about.
"I went to seventh by myself... people in the halls were whispering, but I could still hear them. They were talking about me, saying that I made everything up, that I just lied and got scared about my relationship with Ken... they said-"
Dammit. I'd been hoping that with Yamato actually back, people wouldn't talk so openly about it. I hadn't wanted him to know about all the rumours that had been flying around about him and Ken recently.
"I called Takeru yesterday, after you left. He said there's all kinds of rumours, and that they've been going on since that news report. Did you know, one girl even came up to me at my locker and asked how I could have the nerve to put the blame on Ken?" He bit his lip and glanced over at me. A couple of tears slid down his cheek, unbidden. "How could they even think that? I wouldn't, I didn't! I swear, Taichi, I wouldn't lie about that!"
"I know," I soothed him. "I know, Yamato. I believe you, okay? Everyone who really knows you and cares about you believes you. That's what's important."
"Did you know?" he asked, ignoring my pathetic attempts at comfort. "Did you hear all those rumours too?"
I sighed. "Yes," I said, "but I don't pay any attention to them. You shouldn't either. They're just rumours, Yamato, stupid rumours by stupid kids who don't know any better. They don't have anything better to do, but in a week or two when the next big thing comes along they'll have forgotten you and the rumours will die off. Don't let them get to you."
Yamato looked skeptical at that, but he didn't protest it.
I stood up, gesturing to the uniform still in his lap. "You gonna put that thing on, or are you planning on having a 'go to school in your pyjamas' day?"
That actually earned me a smile, for which I was glad.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later we were on our way to school. We'd probably be a little late to homeroom, but not by much. We didn't really talk much on the way. The closer we got to school, the more nervous Yamato got. It was clear he still really didn't want to go, and I didn't really know what else to say to reassure him. This whole situation was new territory to me, and I was floundering on how to help.
And to be honest, I was also still a little distracted thinking about the things both Yamato and Hikari had said to me yesterday. Before Yamato had disappeared for three weeks, I'd actually been considering confessing my crush to him. Even if he didn't return my feelings, I just wanted it out in the open, tired of trying to hide it for months. But then the truth about Ken came out, and knowing how it started... well, it just seemed like a really bad idea.
And yet, I'd been thinking about it all night, wondering if I could find some way to tell him and make it absolutely clear that I'd felt that way beforehand, and had already planned on telling him, and that I had no intention of hurting him... But then I started wondering if Yamato really needed something like that on his plate after everything else he'd been through, and I really didn't even know just how much he was affected by it, other than the fact that it drove him to attempt suicide... and I certainly didn't want to be the one to cause his second attempt...
It was all so confusing. I just didn't know what to do.
"Alright?" I asked him when we were about ten minutes from the school.
"Fine," he said shortly, and then we rounded a corner, and there they were.
"Shit," Yamato said, spotting them at the same time I did.
I turned back around. "We can go the long way, they haven't see-"
I was interrupted by Kento letting out a yell, and cursed. They'd seen us. I started running, and hoped Yamato had the sense to do the same. I really didn't feel like getting beat up, and it was probably the last thing Yamato needed.
I heard more shouting behind us. It was Tetsuya, yelling gleefully about not being bored anymore. "Finally, something to do!"
It was no use. I felt someone slam into my back, knocking me to the ground, my whole body jarring. Beside me I heard Yamato let out a cry, and I could only assume he'd received a similar treatment.
I rolled over onto my side, trying to get up, but then someone kicked me hard in the stomach, and I cried out at the sudden pain. Annoyed, I lashed my arms out, wildly grabbing around for whoever was still kicking me, and managed to get a hold of a booted leg mid-swing. I tugged with all my might, and brought someone crashing down on top of me.
I didn't take the time to figure out who it was. I just started swinging, hoping that at least some of my hits would land. One of the other four joined the fray then, and I could tell by the amused laughter and taunts that it was Kento. His fist smashed into my nose, and I yelled in surprise, feeling blood start to trickle out.
I retaliated by landing a hard punch to his nose, and he gave a roar of anger, hands flying to his face as he started dripping blood everywhere. The other guy hitting me momentarily let go, probably intending to help Kento, and I took advantage of their distraction to jump up and tackle Kento down, landing in a few good hits before the other guy-who I'd finally seen was Ayashi-pulled me off him.
"Fuck this!" Kento shouted. "Let's get out of here!"
I didn't bother to watch them leave. I immediately jumped up, ignoring my stomach's protest of pain, and went over to where Yamato was curled up on the sidewalk.
I crouched down beside him. "Yamato?" I asked him worriedly. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head, which was both reassuring and not at the same time.
"What's wrong?"
He finally sat up then, and I noticed that he was breathing rather rapidly, and trembling. Instantly I was alarmed. "I feel funny," he said faintly, his eyes wide and scared as he looked at me. "I feel funny. Taichi! I can't breathe, my chest hurts, I think I'm gonna pass out... what's wrong with me, am I going crazy?"
My own eyes went wide. "What? Shit!" Hesitantly I reached a hand out towards him and then yanked it back, unsure what to do to help him. I didn't have a clue what was wrong with him. Had Kento and his stupid friends done something to him?
"Taichi!" He sounded really panicked now, so I did the one thing I could think of. I hurriedly ran over to my bookbag where it'd fallen when Ayashi had jumped me, and practically ripped open the side pocket, fumbling around until I found my cell phone.
Pulling it out, I quickly dialled for EMS and explained the situation, which was basically that I didn't know what was wrong. They promised to send an ambulance to my location, and I hung up and went back over to Yamato.
I didn't know what to do for him other than just sit beside him and hope that he'd be okay. "Ambulance is on its way," I told him. "Just try to stay calm," I added uselessly.
He nodded, looking miserable and scared. It was killing me to see him looking like that, and not be able to do a damn thing for him.
I just hoped the ambulance was fast.
* * *
"Taichi?"
I snapped my head up fast at the sound of Yamato's groggy voice next to me. "You're awake!" I exclaimed, relieved. I stood up and nearly lost my balance again, my body numb from sitting an hour in that hard plastic chair.
"Mmm, yeah. What happened?" he asked, blinking and slowly sitting up.
I stared uneasily at him for a moment. "You don't remember?" I asked him worriedly.
He gave me a wry look. "I remember getting jumped, don't worry about that. And I remember feeling all weird and you calling an ambulance. I sort of remember them arriving, but then it gets hazy and everything else after that is blank."
"Oh," I said, highly relieved. "Well, the ambulance got there, like you said. You were panicking pretty bad by that point, and when one of them touched you, you lashed out and popped him in the eye, so they sedated you."
He frowned, looking slightly guilty at punching an EMT. He'd actually given the guy a black eye, but I declined to mention that tidbit. "So what was wrong with me then?"
It was my turn to frown. "Actually, they said from the sound of your symptoms, it was most likely just a panic attack. They said that a lot of people come to the hospital with a panic attack, thinking they're having a heart attack or going crazy."
"A panic attack? That was a panic attack? I thought I was gonna die!" Yamato looked both confused and upset, and I couldn't really blame him. I had been terrified, and I wasn't even the one experiencing it. Of course, the doctor had also said that panic attacks were more scary than life-threatening, but that didn't really help.
"Is my dad around?" Yamato asked, glancing around our little curtained off area of the ER.
I just stared at him, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid. I'd been here an hour and a half waiting for Yamato to wake, and not once had I considered calling Mr. Ishida to let him know what had happened. How could I not remember? I was such a moron.
"Taichi?" Yamato prompted.
I shook my head a little. "Sorry, just feeling really dumb. No, he's not around. I forgot to call him. Here." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it over, belatedly remembering the no cell phones in the building rule and then deciding to ignore it. Yamato took it, flipping it open and dialling his dad's cell.
He talked with his dad for a few minutes, telling him he was in the hospital, no he's fine, it's not important, really-I tuned him out until he shut the phone and handed it back to me. "He's leaving work to come pick us up."
I nodded, and sat back down on that evil chair to wait.
Mr. Ishida showed up about thirty minutes later, slipping through the curtain to us. He went over to Yamato, looking relieved that he really did seem okay. "What happened?" he asked him. Yamato shrugged at him, muttering something unintelligible. He looked down at the bed, idly tracing the threads of the blanket he was sitting on top of.
After a few minutes, it was clear Yamato wasn't going to explain, so I sighed and did. "We got jumped by this gang of kids on the way to school. They get bored and like to randomly beat on people who pass near them. Yamato had a panic attack, only we didn't know that's what it was, so I called for EMS. He really is fine, Mr. Ishida."
"Yes, the doctor told me it was just a panic attack and there was nothing to worry about, at least." He looked at his son, eyes a bit sad. "Let's get you guys out of here, huh?"
"Gladly," I said. "This place is so hectic and noisy. Curtains suck at blocking sound."
Mr. Ishida sent a small smile in my direction. "The doctor said you'd been here a little while. Not a fun way to spend the morning, I'm sure." He changed the subject then. "Are you two going back to school, or would you rather just go home?"
Yamato finally spoke up at that question. "I wanna go home."
"I'd like to stay with him, if that's okay?"
Mr. Ishida shrugged. "It's fine with me, as long as your mother agrees. Just call her and let her know what happened, and if she okays it we'll bring you back with us."
"Okay. Thanks." I hopped off the chair and went outside to call my mom.
* * *
I woke the next morning sore from sleeping on a pile of blankets on Yamato's floor. I'd wound up staying the night round his, mostly because I was still a little shaken from the day's scares and didn't quite want to leave him yet. We used to share his bed when I stayed over, the two of us crammed together, but after what he'd told me about how it started with Ken, there was no way I was getting in that bed with him. I didn't want to trigger any bad memories.
Still, the night had actually felt a bit like before, with the two of us watching movies and him trying to keep my bottomless pit of a stomach fed with all the junk food in his kitchen he never ate. There was less talk and laughter than there used to be, but since I was surprised to really get any at all, I wasn't complaining.
"Taichi? You awake?" Yamato said quietly, and I groaned.
"Yeah, I'm up," I said. "Kinda wish I wasn't, I feel pretty sore. Ayashi got me pretty good, that bastard."
"You going to school today?"
"I dunno, are you?"
"No."
"What? Why not?"
"I'm just... not really ready, still," he admitted. "I know it's stupid, because it was on the news, but I didn't expect the whole school to know what happened to me. And worse, to sit there and discuss it and make up all these rumours. I don't want to face that yet."
"But you were going to go yesterday," I protested, a bit upset.
"I know, but I really didn't want to. I thought maybe I could handle it, but the closer we got, the more anxious I got... I'm just not ready yet."
I sat up slowly, wincing. Damn but Ayashi had kicked me good. I gingerly lifted my shirt and looked at my stomach. Black and blue, how surprising. "So when do you think you'll be ready, then?" I asked Yamato, ignoring my bruises. I really couldn't do anything for them anyways.
I heard him sigh. "Probably Monday. I've missed so much already, I doubt Dad will let me stay out much longer." He paused. "You should go, though. There's no reason not to, and I don't want your parents killing me for being a bad influence, or something."
"I suppose..." I said reluctantly. I would have preferred to stay with Yamato, honestly. Now that I was allowed to see him again, I didn't want to leave him.
"Just go. You can come by afterwards and tell me all about it."
"Yeah, because it's so different from every other day we've went."
"We have some crazy classmates. You never know."
"We have Kenji, you mean."
"Same thing."
I smiled, getting to my feet. Yamato was sitting up as well, and he was actually smiling too. I'd go to school for the rest of my life, if only he would continue to smile like that. "Fine," I said. "I'll go. But I'll definitely be back afterwards, so you better be awake."
"Don't worry, Dad wouldn't let me sleep all day even if I wanted to."
"Good, you'll get lazy that way."
"Shut up and go get ready," he said, still smiling. I did.
* * *
Twenty minutes later found me walking the usual route to Odaiba High. I half expected to see Kento's gang lying in wait for me, but they were nowhere to be seen. However, when I reached the school, I found everyone else waiting for me instead. A lower classman boy I'd never seen before ran up to me. "Hey, it's you!" he said in excitement. "Is it really true that you beat up Kento?"
I recoiled. What? How did he know I'd gotten into a fight with Kento? Had someone seen? "I guess..." I said after a moment. Not that I would really phrase it as "beat up," but I had given him a bloody nose...
"Awesome!" he cried, and ran off again. I could hear him shouting "It's true! He beat him up!" to a group of his friends waiting nearby.
Was it already around the entire school? If so, I was in for some trouble. Kento and his gang were very well known around our school for their violence and criminal behaviour. Even before Tetsuya and Ayashi had started hanging around them, Kento and his twin brother Sento had always been trouble, bullying kids and beating people up just because they could.
And once the other two boys joined them, they became an unholy terror. They did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, regardless of anyone else. You didn't fight back, you didn't stand up to them, you just lowered your head and waited for them to leave you alone.
And I'd given Kento a bloody nose.
Fuck.
More people began crowding around me, trying to ask me questions about the fight. A couple even wanted an autograph, which was just ridiculous. I wormed my way through them all slowly, just wanting to get to homeroom and away from all the crazy. I was a little dazed at all the attention, to be honest. How did Yamato deal with this all the time?
"Taichi!" I heard a familiar voice call my name, and I looked towards the direction it had come from, trying to find its source.
"Taichi!" it persisted, and I pushed through a few more people, finally spotting the pulled back purple hair that indicated Nyusumi.
"Ny!" I called back towards, shoving past more people. Finally I caught up to him. "What's going on?" I asked. "How does everyone know?"
He just ignored my question, instead grabbing my hand and pulling me away from everyone. He led me towards the old gym off to the side of the school. The school had abandoned it when they'd built a newer, much bigger gym annexed on the back. Technically, no one was supposed to go in the old gym, and once upon a time it had been locked, but so many kids kept busting the locks that they got tired of replacing them and instead would just run people out of there every so often.
Once we got inside, away from the noise of the crowd and settled under the bleachers, I repeated my question for him. "How does everyone know about Kento?"
"Some kid apparently heard the commotion and went over just in time to see you punch Kento in the nose and then watched as Kento ran off. He didn't stick around because he didn't want to get beat up, so no one's exactly sure what happened, but the fact that you gave him a bloody nose is around the entire school already."
"That's just great," I muttered. "Just what I need."
He gave me a rather grave look. "He's going to want revenge, you know."
"He's the one that jumped us!" I protested.
"Yeah, but you fought back. How often do you hear of that happening?"
"I so do not need this," I moaned, putting my head in my hands. "I really don't."
He patted my back sympathetically. I dimly heard the bell for homeroom begin to ring over in the main building. "We should go to homeroom," I said, voice muffled by my hands, but I didn't make any move to get up, and neither did Ny.
"Who's us?" he asked instead.
"Huh?" I raised my head, giving him a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"You said, 'he's the one that jumped us.' Who is us?"
"Me and Yamato...? We were on our way to school and ran into them. They were bored and decided to beat us up."
"What?" he cried. "Yamato was there, too?"
"Yeah," I said slowly, giving him another confused look. "But it's fine. He didn't touch Kento. He didn't even fight any of them back."
"Trust me, that's not going to matter to Kento," he said grimly. "Yamato was there, that's enough for him to go after you both."
"But the school is only talking about me," I said, feeling rather numb all of a sudden. All I was trying to do yesterday was protect Yamato, to get them to go away as quickly as possible and not hurt him. He'd suffered enough, I didn't want him in any more pain.
Thanks to that, I'd made him a target?
"Well, how bad could it really be?" I said, trying to stay positive. "So he's mad, he'll beat us up again and prove he's better than us, and then he'll leave us alone. Problem solved."
"Maybe. If you're lucky," Ny said dully. "Kento's bad news, Taichi. There's no guarantee he won't try to hurt you or Yamato bad. And I really don't know if Yamato could handle that right now. Not after what he's been through." He shifted slightly, looking suddenly uncomfortable.
"What is it?" I asked him.
He shifted some more, looking away from me. "It's just... I don't even know what all he's really been through, exactly, and I only saw him briefly the other day, but he looked so different, like he'd been to hell and seen it all, and then still came back to tell the tale. So I know it's bad." He shrugged, sheepish. "I just don't want him to be in any more pain. He doesn't deserve that."
I blinked, somewhat surprised. I didn't really know any of Yamato's band members that well, though I'd hung out with them several times and had some classes with them, but Ny had always previously seemed a little aloof to me. Or as if he cared more about himself than others. To hear him talk like that about Yamato now was not something I had expected. "That's really... caring," I remarked, and to my further surprise, he blushed.
I stared, and then stared some more. Ny just blushed deeper, still not looking at me, and didn't say anything. A realisation was slowly dawning on me, one that made little things over the years make so much more sense.
"You like him."
He didn't respond, and I grinned, ignoring the pang of jealousy I felt. "That's so sweet!" I teased him.
He frowned. "Shut up. It doesn't matter, anyways," he added.
"Why not?" I asked, eyebrows raised.
"For one, you have a crush on him too, so don't even start teasing me. And two, I already know for a fact that he likes someone else."
It was my turn to blush. "I don't have a crush on him!" I denied. "And how do you know he likes someone?"
"Because he told me," he said simply. "And please, your crush is so obvious that even the people at the very end of Kyushu picked up on it. I don't know how Yamato hasn't yet."
"I am not obvious!" I cried. Then I stopped and thought for a moment, and groaned. "Am I?"
"The band's had a pool going for the past five months now, taking bets on whether you'll tell him before he figures it out."
"Oh man," I whined, just as the bell rang to end homeroom. "That is so not cool, Ny."
"Sorry," he said, not sounding the least bit sorry at all.
"I hate you sometimes," I told him.
* * *
"Taichi! At last!" Yamato said when I walked into his room after school. He sounded rather... exuberant. His dad practically yanking me into the apartment when I knocked suddenly made much more sense. Yamato must have been bored out of his mind and driving him crazy.
"Hey," I greeted him, smiling. I was pretty glad to see him, too. School was always so much more boring without him there.
"Anything interesting happen today?" he asked, shutting his laptop and looking at me proper.
"Actually..."
"Oh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He pushed his chair away from his desk and stood up. "You hungry? Want a snack?"
"Sure," I said. "You know I'm never one to turn down food."
"Come on then."
On the way to the kitchen, I started to tell him about how the whole school knew about Kento, and the things Ny had said about him wanting revenge on us both.
"That's just great," he said, unknowingly echoing my earlier words. He held up a single serving frozen pizza, and at my nod, tore open the box and tossed it in the microwave.
"I'm sorry," I told him, feeling bad. "I really wasn't thinking about it... I just wanted Kento to leave us alone. I didn't mean to drag you into it."
"It's not your fault, Taichi. It's not like you asked them to jump us. I can't blame you for fighting back. I probably would have too, if I had been thinking clear."
"Still. They shouldn't go after you. You didn't do anything to them."
The microwave beeped then, and he shrugged, carefully taking out the pizza and deftly slipping it on a plate before sliding it over to me. I grabbed it and carried it over to the table, sitting down to eat.
"So did anything else interesting happen?" he asked, clearly wanting a subject change.
"Nope," I said around a mouthful of food. Yamato made a face at that. "Classes were boring as usual. We've been moving pretty fast through a couple of them, though. You're going to be pretty behind. You're definitely coming back Monday?"
"Yeah. Dad said I had to." He made another face. "I really don't want to. Like I said this morning, I guess I knew people would know what happened thanks to the news, but that the whole school would know, and that half of them wouldn't even believe it...? It never crossed my mind. But I've missed something like a month, and Dad says that there's no medical reason to keep me home, so go I will."
"Good. It sucks without you around." I took another big bite. "So what about you? Have fun at home all day?"
"Oh yes, loads," he said sarcastically. "Scraping mould off the growing pile of dishes in the sink was the highlight of my day, thanks for asking."
"I'm sure it was. I'm only sorry I couldn't be here to share it with you," I teased.
"Yeah. I'm sure," he replied dryly. He grabbed my now empty plate. "Might as well add this to the pile. Pretty soon I'll have a science experiment in my kitchen sink. I could probably get extra credit in biology with it."
"Gross," I remarked, making a face.
The grin that lit his face in return was worth the mental image, though.
* * *
"Where the hell is the damn phone?" I muttered. It was Saturday night. It seemed like a crazy, reckless thing to do, but I'd decided to tell Yamato I liked him. Hikari's words had never left my mind, and that conversation with Nyusumi had sort of pushed me to it.
"But I can't tell him if I can't find the damn phone!" I shouted at the phone-less living room. "Hikari! Where is the damn phone?!"
Hikari wandered into the room, the damn phone glued to her ear. She glared at me, motioning for me to be quiet.
"Just go round and see him," she was saying. "I'm sure you won't be turned away now. Taichi's gone to see him a few times now with no problem. ...Of course he'll want to see you. You're his brother, he cares about you. He wouldn't shut you out."
Ugh. Why hadn't I remembered to charge my cell phone? "Hikari, come on," I moaned. "You've probably been on that damn phone for hours now! Why don't you ever use your own phone?"
"Hush!" she snapped, and then to whoever was on the other end, "No, not you. Taichi's being a pain in the ass and demanding the phone. ...Yeah, I might as well. And seriously, just go. It'll be fine. ...Yeah. I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye!"
She finally hung up and tossed the damn phone at me. "Here's your stupid phone. Geeze, what's so important?"
"Nothing. I just need to call Yamato." I started to dial his number. "Who were you talking to?" I asked as I waited for someone to pick up.
"Takeru."
"Oh?" I started to say something else, but then Yamato picked up.
"Hello?"
"Yamato, hey. It's me." I said, absently watching as Hikari left the room.
"Hi, me."
"Haha, so very funny. Look, I need to talk to you," I blurted out.
"Okay. So talk."
"Not over the phone. Can I come over?"
"Sure!" He sounded rather relieved, which I thought a bit strange. "Dad's about to go out soon, actually, so you can stay the night, if you want."
"Sure, that's fine," I said, hoping the night would go well enough for me to stay that long.
"Oh, and bring a controller, we can play the playstation if you want."
"Okay. I'll see ya soon then." I hung up, tossing the damn phone on the couch. I headed to my room to throw a few things in an overnight bag, remembering the controller just in time. Yamato wasn't really big into video games, but he knew I liked them and was usually willing to play an hour or two whenever I stayed round on weekends.
I found Hikari, telling her I was going over to Yamato's for the night, and to tell our parents whenever they got back from their usual Saturday night date.
A short bit later I was knocking nervously on Yamato's apartment door. I expected his dad to let me in, but he answered it himself, giving me a hint of a smile. "Hey, come on in," he said. "Dad's just about to leave, so we'll have the place to ourselves."
"Where's he going?" I asked, stepping inside, bag slung over my shoulder.
"They called him in, asked him to work for someone."
"Ah." I headed down the hallway, tossing my bag at his bed. It landed on the edge, teetered precariously for a moment, and then fell off, landing upside down. I sighed. Oh well. It wasn’t as if there was anything super important in it. I left it where it had landed and headed back to the kitchen where Yamato was.
"Want something to drink?" he asked me.
"Sure. Got any cheerio?"
"Err... I think you drank the last one yesterday. I got some ramune, though?"
"I hate those things," I grumbled.
He shrugged. "Sorry. There's also water, and milk."
I made a face and sighed. "Give me the soda."
He handed it over just as his dad walked in. "Hello, Taichi."
"Hey Mr. Ishida," I greeted him.
"You're staying the night then?"
"Yep." I grinned at him.
"Alright. You boys behave yourselves. I'll be gone most of the night, Yamato, but don't hesitate to call if you need me for anything."
"I know, Dad. I'll be fine. Go on."
"You do all those locks on the door, you hear me?" Mr. Ishida gave Yamato a stern look, and I wondered what that was about. The amount of new locks on the door hadn't escaped my notice, and I'd been curious for days now. I resolved to ask Yamato at some point.
"I will, I promise."
"Good." Then Mr. Ishida was gone, and we were alone in the apartment.
"Come on." Yamato grabbed his own drink, and headed back down the hall towards his room.
When we got there I saw he already had the playstation out and set up; I rescued my fallen bag and brought out the second controller. We sat crammed side by side on the end of his bed, doing some mindless gaming for awhile. Neither of us was really playing seriously, and I was mostly just enjoying the chance to be close to him and hoping that he wouldn't hate me later.
Eventually Yamato tired of the game, and put down his controller. I did likewise, watching as he got up to turn off the console. "What do you want to do now?" I asked him.
"Um. Didn't you say on the phone you wanted to talk to me about something?"
"Yeah." I'd managed to relax while playing games, but suddenly I was nervous again. "Um. I was going to tell you before, you know, Ken and all, so please don't get the wrong idea, the last thing I'd want is to hurt or scare you."
"Tell me what?"
I sighed, and decided to just say it straight out. If he hated me for it, so be it. I swallowed, and said it.
"I've got a crush on you."
chapter one end. (08 july 2011 0405AM)
soundtrack for chapter one (aka music I listened to while writing):
onerepublic - good life, savage garden - break me shake me, hot chelle rae - tonight tonight, savage garden - all around me, savage garden - affirmation, savage garden - crash and burn, savage garden - the animal song, savage garden - to the moon and back (hanis num radio edit), savage garden - santa monica (bittersweet mix), savage garden - break me shake me (acoustic live)
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