Waiting, Book 1, Chapter 3:1
The hell Matt had been living is finally over. Ken is out of Matt's life for good. Matt can now put everything behind him and start over. But a certain gang seems to think differently... Taito. Sequel to Untold Secrets, but works as stand alone.
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Toei's. And the song is LINKIN PARK's With You.
--->Translation:
|none, the song doesn't need a translation!|
Waiting
Chapter 3:Part 1 Neverending Nightmare
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|I woke up in a dream today
|to the cold of the static/and put my cold feet on the floor
|forgot all about yesterday
|remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore|
"...Lessee....
"6x=5x+4(2x-3)-2...
"So that would be 6x=5x+6x+1-2.... no, that's not right. 6x=9x(-x)-2.. that's not right either.... dammit I hate this!" I growled in frustration, scowling down at my Algebra II homework. Oh, how I hated it....
"Tai?" Mom's voice interrupted my evil thoughts about killing my homework, and I looked up.
I started to reply, but then I noticed how strained mom's face was, how pale she looked.
"'kaasan, what is it? What's wrong?" I asked, a trace of panic sneaking into my normally calm voice.
"Mr. Ishida called," she told me, and when she spoke her voice sounded drained, as if her life was beginning to fade away. "Matt had some kind of problem. He's unconscious, but he said he wanted you before he passed out."
"Matt?!" I cried, jumping out of my desk chair. "What's wrong with Matt? What problem did he have?"
"Mr. Ishida's not sure."
"Oh God Yamachan!" I said, racing out of the room. "I'll be back whenever!" I yelled over my shoulder to 'kaasan.
She didn't reply, and as I glanced back I saw she was staring at me, a slightly pondering look on her face.
+-+-+-+
"Is Matt okay?" I demanded when Mr. Ishida answered the door.
"I don't know Tai," he told me, and he looked old and weary. "He hasn't waken up yet."
I came in and sat down on the couch when Mr. Ishida offered me to.
"What happened?" I asked him in a low voice. It wasn't like I was worried Matt could hear me or anything. It's just that I was suddenly close to tears for some inexplicable reason, and I was afraid if I spoke normally I'd start to cry.
"I honestly don't know. I was talking to him about Takeru staying here the night, and all of a sudden he started freaking out, saying don't call me that, don't call me that, and then he kneeling on the floor, holding his chest, saying he couldn't breathe, and.." he trailed off with a shrug of his shoulders. "I really don't know."
"Don't call me that?" I repeated. "What did he..." Then it dawned on me.
Hey, what's wrong, Yamato?
Don't call me that.
"Mr. Ishida," I said slowly. "Did you by any chance use Matt's first name, call him Yamato?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"I think I'm beginning to get it. He must have been having a panic attack. He doesn't like to be called Yamato anymore. I'm not sure why, but I think it must have something to do with Ken."
"Well no won-" he started, but was cut off by a blood curling scream from Matt. Terrified, the both of us jumped up and ran to Matt's room. Takeru was there too, standing in the doorway, staring wide eyed at his oniisan.
Rudely, I shoved him out of the way and went over to Matt, who was moaning and thrashing around on the bed.
I grabbed a hold of his wrist as it passed by me, and attempted to keep him from moving around, while trying desperately to wake him.
"Matt, Matt, wake up, it's okay, you're safe, Matt wake up wake up wake UP!" It was no good. Matt was too far gone.
"Call his doctor!" I yelled to Mr. Ishida, who was standing in the doorway next to his other son, dumbfounded.
He nodded and told Takeru to do it, then came over and helped me try to calm Matt. Even with the both of us, Matt still struggled wildly, and I got a few punches in the face. I'm pretty sure Matt gave his dad a few black eyes too, because I heard him yell, "chikuso!" and "son of a bitch!" a few times.
I don't know how long we stayed there, holding Matt-or trying to anyway-but it felt like forever before Dr. Kaos was gently commanding us to move aside. I did so carefully, a lot of my body had gone numb and I felt like I was sleeping on a bed of nails.
Dr. Kaos gave Matt a sedative to calm him, and soon Matt was sleeping peacefully again.
I stayed by his side, watching him sleep, not daring to leave him, while Dr. Kaos went to Mr. Ishida's room to talk to him.
I could hear the whole conversation, and what I heard was slightly strange. It troubled me some.
Basically it was like this:
Kaos: What happened to him?
Ishida: Tai says he must have had a panic attack. All I know is he freaked out and couldn't breath.
K:Why'd he freak out, do you know?
I:I was calling him Yamato.
K:I see. That makes sense.
I:You knew about that?
K:Yeah. He told me once, after the Ichijouji boy was caught.
I:I didn't know that.
K:Yeah, well... Anyways, what the hell was wrong with him just now?
I:The nightmares....they've come back... it's really hard on the both of us. He wakes up nights, screaming as if the world was ending. He always pretends it doesn't affect him that much... but I know it does. And then, just recently.... there's been something different about him. I don't know what, I can't quite pin it down yet. Especially today. He's been acting strange all day. It worries me.
K:? Oh? Strange? How so?
Which was as much as I heard, because then the phone rang.
"I'll answer it!" I heard Takeru call, and then "Hello?"
A few minutes later he appeared. "Tai, it's Ny. He wants to talk to Matt. What should I say?"
"Here," I said, holding out my hand. "I'll talk to him."
Takeru handed the phone to him, and I answered.
"Yo, Nyusumi. What's up?"
"Tai?" he asked. "What are you doing at Matt's house?"
"Long story," I replied with a sigh.
"I've got time."
"Well..." And then it all came out of me in a rush of words, not just what happened to Matt tonight, but everything. My worries, the strange conversation I just overheard, everything that had been building up inside me, I poured my heart out to Nyusumi.
He listened quietly, and without comment until I finished.
"The nightmares are coming back?" was the first thing out of his mouth. "What nightmares?"
I shrugged, though he couldn't see me. "I'm not sure, but I would assume he must have nightmares after or even during what happened between him and Ken. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's what smart people would think."
"Hey, I'm smart!" Ny exclaimed resentfully.
"Sure you are," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I am!"
"Right. Anyways.... I don't know if Matt will be at school tomorrow, and if he's not, I won't be. But I have him call you when he's up to. See ya Ny."
"If he's not there tomorrow, you're not? Aww, that's sweet. Faithful Tai staying by his lover's side..."
"I'm not his lover!" I protested, feeling my face growing red. But I sure as hell wouldn't mind..
"Whatever. See ya around Tai. Is it allright if I stop by tomorrow?"
"No, go ahead. We'll be looking for you."
"Alright, thanks. Later."
"Bye, Ny." I hung up.
Then I went and searched out Takeru. I was reluctant to leave Matt's side, but if he happened to wake, which was unlikely, I didn't want him to hear what we were talking about.
I found him sitting in the livingroom, staring blankly off into space, not even seeming to notice the channel the TV was tuned to had gone off air.
I walked over to the TV and switched it off, then sat down near Takeru.
"Takeru," I said gently.
"Yeah?" he asked, not even looking round.
"Has Matt been having nightmares lately?"
"Yes," he told me blandly, still not glancing at me.
I sighed softly. Oh Matt... "Have they been real bad?"
He shrugged.
I sighed again, realizing I wasn't going to get anything of out him and returned to Matt's side.
I can't believe he had been having nightmares about Ken. Why hadn't he told me, and just how bad had they been?
Just then Matt stirred.
"...Matt?" I said timidly.
Nothing.
"Matt, are you awake?"
He groans.
"Matt!" I exclaim.
"....Tai...." he murmurs.
"Matt, you're awake! Are you okay?"
"..Ken.."
I frown. Ken?
"No Matt. It's me, Tai."
"...Tai?"
"Yeah, Tai."
He blinked his eyes open and sat up slowly, brushing blond strands out of his face.
I smile at him, greatly relieved. He just returns my smile with a blank stare. "What happened to me?" he asked.
"You had a panic attack and passed out. Then Dr. Kaos had to give you a small tranq because you seemed to be having a really bad nightmare," I told him quietly.
"A panic attack?"
"Yeah. Your dad was calling you by your given name." I was careful not to say Yamato. I didn't want to set him off again. Just mentioning it was risky enough.
"Oh," Matt replied softly. Then, "Is Dad worried?"
"He was, but once he knows your awake, I'm sure he'll be fine."
"That's good," he said shortly.
I frowned. Something was wrong; Matt was acting strangely.
What could be bothering him?
+-+-+-+
"Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm staying here the night. No, probably not. It all depends on if Matt goes. What? No! Shutup! That's not the reason at all! I just want to make sure he's okay! Geez, you sound like Ny," I grumbled to my little sister. "Anyways, be sure to tell 'kaasan I won't be coming home tonight. Right. Thanks, Kar." I told her, then replaced the receiver slowly.
Ever since Matt had woken up an hour ago, he had been acting differently. I was kinda afraid to stay over here the night. Matt's behavior scares me. Both Mr. Ishida and Dr. Kaos say it's because of the nightmare he had earlier. They don't seem so affected by it, which makes me wonder if this sort of thing has happened often before.
Trying to shake it off, I went looking for Mr. Ishida. I found him sitting in his room, talking to Dr. Kaos quietly, who apparently looked as if he was staying the night too. I mean, it was already midnight.
"Um? Mr. Ishida?" I spoke up hesitantly.
He looked up at me.
"Is it allright if I stay here the night, with Matt?"
"It's fine."
"Thank you."
I bowed slightly, then retreated and headed to Matt's room. Takeru was already there, having an intense conversation with Matt who for once seemed to be himself.
They looked up when I came in, Takeru breaking off in the middle of a sentence. "Ano, sumimasen.... Demo, Matt... do you mind if I stay here the night or would you rather I go home?"
"No! Don't go home! Please don't go. Stay here. I don't want to be alone tonight," he begged.
I noticed Takeru looked slightly offended at that, but he did his best to pretend he didn't care once he saw I saw. I smiled at him, and he returned it.
"Please stay Tai..."
"Allright, Allright, I'll stay. Calm down Matt," I soothed. God, he was acting weird again. What was up?
+-+-+-+
About an hour later, Takeru had long since fallen asleep on Matt's floor, Dr. Kaos on the couch in the living room, Mr. Ishida in his own bed, and I was laying next to a wide awake Matt in his bed.
We lay in silence for at least an hour before Matt started to talk.
"Tai?" Matt whisphered.
I jerked my head up; I had just about been asleep.
"Y-Yeah, Matt?"
"I... I have a confession to make."
I furrowed my brow.
"A confession?"
What kind of a confession? What is it he kept secret? What is it he didn't trust me enough to tell me earlier?
"Uh-huh. You see... I've..I've been having these nightmares lately."
So this was what it was about then.
"They're about Ken, about the stuff he did to me. One occurs more often than any other, and it's slightly different."
"Different? Different how? What are they about?"
"Well... it starts out... in the apartment.... I'm hiding under my dad's bed. Ken is trying to get in, but he can't cos I've bolted the doors and shoved chairs under the knobs. And there's nothing unusual about that part. That... that really happened. The day that I told my Dad finally, that's that day I hid from Ken. But .... then the dream changes. Instead of Ken giving up and going away, .. he gets in. He breaks the door down. ... He comes into Dad's room and-and drags me out from under the bed. Then he... then he rapes me. Over and over again, never stopping. That's actually happened, in a sense, at a different time. But .. then you show up. You.. you try to -to save me and- and- and then..." he stops, and I can sense he's crying. Silently I reach my hand under the blanket and grasp his tightly, offering comfort.
He looks over at me in the semi-darkness, the moonlight making strange shadows splay across his face.
We lay comfortably in the dark for a few seconds, not saying anything, just staring at each other.
He continues. "When you're unable to save me, he.. he tears your clothes off and rapes you once, ... then he kills you, and makes me watch. I start to scream and scream... then I'm awake and I'm still screaming and dad's trying to restrain me and it all seems so real.. it scares me, scares me real bad.
"I feel like it's trying to tell me something Tai, only I don't know what. I've tried to analyze it. The part about me hiding under the bed.. that could mean I'm hiding from my emotions, not facing up to what Ken did to me, not trying to get over it. Ken breaking in... maybe it means Ken's escaped from jail or something and he's after me. I don't know. As for you trying to save me... and what Ken does to you.... I don't even want to begin to try and interpret that. It just scares me too much..
"But I do know one thing, Tai."
"What's that?" I ask him, feeling the goosebumps all over my arms and legs. His dream scared me. I really hope it was just a senseless nightmare, and not some kind of vision or something.
"It's something I've been really stupid over, something I didn't want to face, something I was afraid of..." he trails off, and then he's on top of me, his lips pressed urgently into mine interlocked in a deep passionate kiss.
At first I don't respond, I'm too shocked, but after I few moments I warm up to it and kiss him back, pressing my tongue against his lips, seeking entrance. He grants it.
We finally break off a good several minutes later, and he rolls back over to his side of the bed.
I lay there in surprise, my face flushed, heart pounding heavily in my chest, little tremors of excitement and happiness running a marathon up and down my spine.
"I realized it was stupid to make you wait," came the husky whispher, "when I already knew I loved you and that Ken couldn't change that, no matter what."
I felt tears spring to my eyes, for some reason or another, I was deeply touched.
"Oh God Matt, you don't know how happy this makes me," I sniffed.
"I've a fairly good idea, considering I know how happy I feel right now."
I smile, and pull him close to me in a tight hug.
He purrs faintly, and curves his body into mine.
Kissing the top of his head, I murmur, "Night, Matt."
Then together we sleep.
End Part 3:1.
Author's notes: Hai, hai, slightly sappy, but who cares, it's damned cute! And I realized something. I favor Kensuke couplings a lot, but everything I seem to write with Takeru and/or Daisuke in it always has some mention of them as a couple, or w/ one liking the other. Departure, I Am Who I Am, my Currently Untitled Daikeru, this one, some others stories not posted but saved on my laptop or in my notebook... Hen na no? XD Tis all very strange.. Anyways, sorry sorry! This part was kinda short.... 'palogize fo' dat... But it seemed a good place to end the chapter! *sweatdrop*
part three:two
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Toei's. And the song is LINKIN PARK's With You.
--->Translation:
|none, the song doesn't need a translation!|
Waiting
Chapter 3:Part 1 Neverending Nightmare
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|I woke up in a dream today
|to the cold of the static/and put my cold feet on the floor
|forgot all about yesterday
|remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore|
"...Lessee....
"6x=5x+4(2x-3)-2...
"So that would be 6x=5x+6x+1-2.... no, that's not right. 6x=9x(-x)-2.. that's not right either.... dammit I hate this!" I growled in frustration, scowling down at my Algebra II homework. Oh, how I hated it....
"Tai?" Mom's voice interrupted my evil thoughts about killing my homework, and I looked up.
I started to reply, but then I noticed how strained mom's face was, how pale she looked.
"'kaasan, what is it? What's wrong?" I asked, a trace of panic sneaking into my normally calm voice.
"Mr. Ishida called," she told me, and when she spoke her voice sounded drained, as if her life was beginning to fade away. "Matt had some kind of problem. He's unconscious, but he said he wanted you before he passed out."
"Matt?!" I cried, jumping out of my desk chair. "What's wrong with Matt? What problem did he have?"
"Mr. Ishida's not sure."
"Oh God Yamachan!" I said, racing out of the room. "I'll be back whenever!" I yelled over my shoulder to 'kaasan.
She didn't reply, and as I glanced back I saw she was staring at me, a slightly pondering look on her face.
+-+-+-+
"Is Matt okay?" I demanded when Mr. Ishida answered the door.
"I don't know Tai," he told me, and he looked old and weary. "He hasn't waken up yet."
I came in and sat down on the couch when Mr. Ishida offered me to.
"What happened?" I asked him in a low voice. It wasn't like I was worried Matt could hear me or anything. It's just that I was suddenly close to tears for some inexplicable reason, and I was afraid if I spoke normally I'd start to cry.
"I honestly don't know. I was talking to him about Takeru staying here the night, and all of a sudden he started freaking out, saying don't call me that, don't call me that, and then he kneeling on the floor, holding his chest, saying he couldn't breathe, and.." he trailed off with a shrug of his shoulders. "I really don't know."
"Don't call me that?" I repeated. "What did he..." Then it dawned on me.
Hey, what's wrong, Yamato?
Don't call me that.
"Mr. Ishida," I said slowly. "Did you by any chance use Matt's first name, call him Yamato?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"I think I'm beginning to get it. He must have been having a panic attack. He doesn't like to be called Yamato anymore. I'm not sure why, but I think it must have something to do with Ken."
"Well no won-" he started, but was cut off by a blood curling scream from Matt. Terrified, the both of us jumped up and ran to Matt's room. Takeru was there too, standing in the doorway, staring wide eyed at his oniisan.
Rudely, I shoved him out of the way and went over to Matt, who was moaning and thrashing around on the bed.
I grabbed a hold of his wrist as it passed by me, and attempted to keep him from moving around, while trying desperately to wake him.
"Matt, Matt, wake up, it's okay, you're safe, Matt wake up wake up wake UP!" It was no good. Matt was too far gone.
"Call his doctor!" I yelled to Mr. Ishida, who was standing in the doorway next to his other son, dumbfounded.
He nodded and told Takeru to do it, then came over and helped me try to calm Matt. Even with the both of us, Matt still struggled wildly, and I got a few punches in the face. I'm pretty sure Matt gave his dad a few black eyes too, because I heard him yell, "chikuso!" and "son of a bitch!" a few times.
I don't know how long we stayed there, holding Matt-or trying to anyway-but it felt like forever before Dr. Kaos was gently commanding us to move aside. I did so carefully, a lot of my body had gone numb and I felt like I was sleeping on a bed of nails.
Dr. Kaos gave Matt a sedative to calm him, and soon Matt was sleeping peacefully again.
I stayed by his side, watching him sleep, not daring to leave him, while Dr. Kaos went to Mr. Ishida's room to talk to him.
I could hear the whole conversation, and what I heard was slightly strange. It troubled me some.
Basically it was like this:
Kaos: What happened to him?
Ishida: Tai says he must have had a panic attack. All I know is he freaked out and couldn't breath.
K:Why'd he freak out, do you know?
I:I was calling him Yamato.
K:I see. That makes sense.
I:You knew about that?
K:Yeah. He told me once, after the Ichijouji boy was caught.
I:I didn't know that.
K:Yeah, well... Anyways, what the hell was wrong with him just now?
I:The nightmares....they've come back... it's really hard on the both of us. He wakes up nights, screaming as if the world was ending. He always pretends it doesn't affect him that much... but I know it does. And then, just recently.... there's been something different about him. I don't know what, I can't quite pin it down yet. Especially today. He's been acting strange all day. It worries me.
K:? Oh? Strange? How so?
Which was as much as I heard, because then the phone rang.
"I'll answer it!" I heard Takeru call, and then "Hello?"
A few minutes later he appeared. "Tai, it's Ny. He wants to talk to Matt. What should I say?"
"Here," I said, holding out my hand. "I'll talk to him."
Takeru handed the phone to him, and I answered.
"Yo, Nyusumi. What's up?"
"Tai?" he asked. "What are you doing at Matt's house?"
"Long story," I replied with a sigh.
"I've got time."
"Well..." And then it all came out of me in a rush of words, not just what happened to Matt tonight, but everything. My worries, the strange conversation I just overheard, everything that had been building up inside me, I poured my heart out to Nyusumi.
He listened quietly, and without comment until I finished.
"The nightmares are coming back?" was the first thing out of his mouth. "What nightmares?"
I shrugged, though he couldn't see me. "I'm not sure, but I would assume he must have nightmares after or even during what happened between him and Ken. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's what smart people would think."
"Hey, I'm smart!" Ny exclaimed resentfully.
"Sure you are," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I am!"
"Right. Anyways.... I don't know if Matt will be at school tomorrow, and if he's not, I won't be. But I have him call you when he's up to. See ya Ny."
"If he's not there tomorrow, you're not? Aww, that's sweet. Faithful Tai staying by his lover's side..."
"I'm not his lover!" I protested, feeling my face growing red. But I sure as hell wouldn't mind..
"Whatever. See ya around Tai. Is it allright if I stop by tomorrow?"
"No, go ahead. We'll be looking for you."
"Alright, thanks. Later."
"Bye, Ny." I hung up.
Then I went and searched out Takeru. I was reluctant to leave Matt's side, but if he happened to wake, which was unlikely, I didn't want him to hear what we were talking about.
I found him sitting in the livingroom, staring blankly off into space, not even seeming to notice the channel the TV was tuned to had gone off air.
I walked over to the TV and switched it off, then sat down near Takeru.
"Takeru," I said gently.
"Yeah?" he asked, not even looking round.
"Has Matt been having nightmares lately?"
"Yes," he told me blandly, still not glancing at me.
I sighed softly. Oh Matt... "Have they been real bad?"
He shrugged.
I sighed again, realizing I wasn't going to get anything of out him and returned to Matt's side.
I can't believe he had been having nightmares about Ken. Why hadn't he told me, and just how bad had they been?
Just then Matt stirred.
"...Matt?" I said timidly.
Nothing.
"Matt, are you awake?"
He groans.
"Matt!" I exclaim.
"....Tai...." he murmurs.
"Matt, you're awake! Are you okay?"
"..Ken.."
I frown. Ken?
"No Matt. It's me, Tai."
"...Tai?"
"Yeah, Tai."
He blinked his eyes open and sat up slowly, brushing blond strands out of his face.
I smile at him, greatly relieved. He just returns my smile with a blank stare. "What happened to me?" he asked.
"You had a panic attack and passed out. Then Dr. Kaos had to give you a small tranq because you seemed to be having a really bad nightmare," I told him quietly.
"A panic attack?"
"Yeah. Your dad was calling you by your given name." I was careful not to say Yamato. I didn't want to set him off again. Just mentioning it was risky enough.
"Oh," Matt replied softly. Then, "Is Dad worried?"
"He was, but once he knows your awake, I'm sure he'll be fine."
"That's good," he said shortly.
I frowned. Something was wrong; Matt was acting strangely.
What could be bothering him?
+-+-+-+
"Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm staying here the night. No, probably not. It all depends on if Matt goes. What? No! Shutup! That's not the reason at all! I just want to make sure he's okay! Geez, you sound like Ny," I grumbled to my little sister. "Anyways, be sure to tell 'kaasan I won't be coming home tonight. Right. Thanks, Kar." I told her, then replaced the receiver slowly.
Ever since Matt had woken up an hour ago, he had been acting differently. I was kinda afraid to stay over here the night. Matt's behavior scares me. Both Mr. Ishida and Dr. Kaos say it's because of the nightmare he had earlier. They don't seem so affected by it, which makes me wonder if this sort of thing has happened often before.
Trying to shake it off, I went looking for Mr. Ishida. I found him sitting in his room, talking to Dr. Kaos quietly, who apparently looked as if he was staying the night too. I mean, it was already midnight.
"Um? Mr. Ishida?" I spoke up hesitantly.
He looked up at me.
"Is it allright if I stay here the night, with Matt?"
"It's fine."
"Thank you."
I bowed slightly, then retreated and headed to Matt's room. Takeru was already there, having an intense conversation with Matt who for once seemed to be himself.
They looked up when I came in, Takeru breaking off in the middle of a sentence. "Ano, sumimasen.... Demo, Matt... do you mind if I stay here the night or would you rather I go home?"
"No! Don't go home! Please don't go. Stay here. I don't want to be alone tonight," he begged.
I noticed Takeru looked slightly offended at that, but he did his best to pretend he didn't care once he saw I saw. I smiled at him, and he returned it.
"Please stay Tai..."
"Allright, Allright, I'll stay. Calm down Matt," I soothed. God, he was acting weird again. What was up?
+-+-+-+
About an hour later, Takeru had long since fallen asleep on Matt's floor, Dr. Kaos on the couch in the living room, Mr. Ishida in his own bed, and I was laying next to a wide awake Matt in his bed.
We lay in silence for at least an hour before Matt started to talk.
"Tai?" Matt whisphered.
I jerked my head up; I had just about been asleep.
"Y-Yeah, Matt?"
"I... I have a confession to make."
I furrowed my brow.
"A confession?"
What kind of a confession? What is it he kept secret? What is it he didn't trust me enough to tell me earlier?
"Uh-huh. You see... I've..I've been having these nightmares lately."
So this was what it was about then.
"They're about Ken, about the stuff he did to me. One occurs more often than any other, and it's slightly different."
"Different? Different how? What are they about?"
"Well... it starts out... in the apartment.... I'm hiding under my dad's bed. Ken is trying to get in, but he can't cos I've bolted the doors and shoved chairs under the knobs. And there's nothing unusual about that part. That... that really happened. The day that I told my Dad finally, that's that day I hid from Ken. But .... then the dream changes. Instead of Ken giving up and going away, .. he gets in. He breaks the door down. ... He comes into Dad's room and-and drags me out from under the bed. Then he... then he rapes me. Over and over again, never stopping. That's actually happened, in a sense, at a different time. But .. then you show up. You.. you try to -to save me and- and- and then..." he stops, and I can sense he's crying. Silently I reach my hand under the blanket and grasp his tightly, offering comfort.
He looks over at me in the semi-darkness, the moonlight making strange shadows splay across his face.
We lay comfortably in the dark for a few seconds, not saying anything, just staring at each other.
He continues. "When you're unable to save me, he.. he tears your clothes off and rapes you once, ... then he kills you, and makes me watch. I start to scream and scream... then I'm awake and I'm still screaming and dad's trying to restrain me and it all seems so real.. it scares me, scares me real bad.
"I feel like it's trying to tell me something Tai, only I don't know what. I've tried to analyze it. The part about me hiding under the bed.. that could mean I'm hiding from my emotions, not facing up to what Ken did to me, not trying to get over it. Ken breaking in... maybe it means Ken's escaped from jail or something and he's after me. I don't know. As for you trying to save me... and what Ken does to you.... I don't even want to begin to try and interpret that. It just scares me too much..
"But I do know one thing, Tai."
"What's that?" I ask him, feeling the goosebumps all over my arms and legs. His dream scared me. I really hope it was just a senseless nightmare, and not some kind of vision or something.
"It's something I've been really stupid over, something I didn't want to face, something I was afraid of..." he trails off, and then he's on top of me, his lips pressed urgently into mine interlocked in a deep passionate kiss.
At first I don't respond, I'm too shocked, but after I few moments I warm up to it and kiss him back, pressing my tongue against his lips, seeking entrance. He grants it.
We finally break off a good several minutes later, and he rolls back over to his side of the bed.
I lay there in surprise, my face flushed, heart pounding heavily in my chest, little tremors of excitement and happiness running a marathon up and down my spine.
"I realized it was stupid to make you wait," came the husky whispher, "when I already knew I loved you and that Ken couldn't change that, no matter what."
I felt tears spring to my eyes, for some reason or another, I was deeply touched.
"Oh God Matt, you don't know how happy this makes me," I sniffed.
"I've a fairly good idea, considering I know how happy I feel right now."
I smile, and pull him close to me in a tight hug.
He purrs faintly, and curves his body into mine.
Kissing the top of his head, I murmur, "Night, Matt."
Then together we sleep.
End Part 3:1.
Author's notes: Hai, hai, slightly sappy, but who cares, it's damned cute! And I realized something. I favor Kensuke couplings a lot, but everything I seem to write with Takeru and/or Daisuke in it always has some mention of them as a couple, or w/ one liking the other. Departure, I Am Who I Am, my Currently Untitled Daikeru, this one, some others stories not posted but saved on my laptop or in my notebook... Hen na no? XD Tis all very strange.. Anyways, sorry sorry! This part was kinda short.... 'palogize fo' dat... But it seemed a good place to end the chapter! *sweatdrop*
part three:two