It's actually better to hear it than to read it, and it's also funnier because of the fact that it's like a staple joke with my ex's whole family/friend circle so all you have to do is say the punchline and everyone laughs...
So a duck walks into a hardware store. He waddles up to the clerk and asks, "Got any gwapes?"
The clerk looks down at the duck and says, "No, this is a hardware store. We don't sell food here." So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back to the same hardware store, to the same clerk, and asks, "Got any gwapes?"
Irritated, the clerk goes, "I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store. We don't have any grapes. Get outta here." So the duck leaves.
Third day in a row, and the duck comes back again, to the same store, same clerk. And he says, "Got any gwapes?"
The clerk is pissed off now, so he screams at the duck, "NO! WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES! IF YOU COME BACK HERE ONE MORE TIME AND ASK ME, 'GOT ANY GWAPES', I'M GONNA STAPLE YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR, AND BEAT YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT!" So the duck runs like hell out of there.
Next day, duck waddles back into the same store, to the same clerk, who is giving him the evillest look imaginable. The duck says to him, "Hey, got any staples?"
The clerk shakes his head, "No, man, sorry, we're out of staples."
So a duck walks into a hardware store. He waddles up to the clerk and asks, "Got any gwapes?"
The clerk looks down at the duck and says, "No, this is a hardware store. We don't sell food here." So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back to the same hardware store, to the same clerk, and asks, "Got any gwapes?"
Irritated, the clerk goes, "I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store. We don't have any grapes. Get outta here." So the duck leaves.
Third day in a row, and the duck comes back again, to the same store, same clerk. And he says, "Got any gwapes?"
The clerk is pissed off now, so he screams at the duck, "NO! WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES! IF YOU COME BACK HERE ONE MORE TIME AND ASK ME, 'GOT ANY GWAPES', I'M GONNA STAPLE YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR, AND BEAT YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT!" So the duck runs like hell out of there.
Next day, duck waddles back into the same store, to the same clerk, who is giving him the evillest look imaginable. The duck says to him, "Hey, got any staples?"
The clerk shakes his head, "No, man, sorry, we're out of staples."
So the duck says...
"Got any gwapes?"
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Very nice. xD
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