Ze Best Veek Ever - Lunatic Discord Recap, Beyond ze Grave Edition
Hallo, it iz me, Odine. You veak, puny mutterfrakkers killed me und only now have I been able to access ze wireless internet here in purgatory. OH! So you zink Odine vent to hell! HAHA JOKE IZ ON YOU. Purgatory truly iz vere it iz all happening. Waiting lines fur heaven und hell - a killer! Zey give you a number ven you arrive, think like DMV, ja? Und turns out I am number #2835682756 and right now zey are at #4976712. Needless to say it iz not paragon of efficiency.
So in meantime, Odine vill recap the past week of Lunatic Discord actions fur those of us who are dead, out of commission, or too lazy to pop in and say 'Guten Tag' from zeit to zeit.
1 - Ze Curious Case of (Ze Frozen und Inoperative Training Center) Buttons
Fun vas had in empty Balamb Town, but upon return to ze Garden, training center iz FROZEN! Und vat iz going on with Rinoa?
Upon her arrival at Cid's office, she started to convulse like crazy person. Und just like zat, POOF! Rinoa disappears, taking Squall und Xu vith her!
2 - Ze Well-Planned Operation Zat Goes Nowhere (Like Healthcare Reform in US Congress)
It appears zat Squall, Rinoa and Xu are gone! Cid steps into action like man possessed. Irvine, Laguna und Selphie decide to run rescue mission to ze castle - vere zey successful?
After much promotion und snack prep...
3 - Rumble in ze Castle, Vere Traitorousness iz ze Name of ze Game
In a scene zat tickled Odine's traitorous heart, it appears zat Xu plays for ze other team. No, not zat team. Ultimecia's team! Vat!? True enough! Xu iz traitor now!
Squall valiantly fought off Ultimecia's zombie army (he must smell like ze garbage dump now) but shock! Ultimecia claims Rinoa's body for her own. Chapter drei (zat iz three, fools) iz full of fun sexual metaphor.
4 - Ze Vest Laid Plans of Mice und Men...
Operation Grumpy Marmoset iz undone since ze people to be rescued have rescued themselves. Crying und ze tearing of garments at ze lack of gummi moombas.
Squall iz tired, Rinoa iz not Rinoa, Xu iz to be court-martialed. Seifer says "Xu has ze SeeD manual tattooed on her cerebral cortex," und Cid says "XU CAN'T HANDLE ZE TRUTH!!!!!111 Arrest her anyway!"
Operation Grumpy Marmoset tries to get started again, but that's too effing bad (oh, ze ironies of life) because it iz time for Not!Rinoa und her Female, 17-Syllable Loving Knight to take us all on a field trip to ze set of Spartacus!
5 - I Came, I Saw, I...What ze Fuck iz Zis Place?
Und at present, ze company of misfits, traitors und rejects from ze cast of Gladiator iz in ze early days of ze Dollet Empire. It may be ze year 33 but iz zat hot bitch Tiberius in charge? (If only it vas Caligula or Nero, or Odine's player's personal favorite crazy bitch, Commodus!)
Battle has begun! But vill zey be captured and forced to participate in one of Caligula's orgies? Vill Laguna know a plebeian from a patrician? Vill Squall wear a sexy toga?
VE SHALL SEE!
--
Danke! Zis vas Odine vith ze Lunatic Discord Recap - Beyond ze Grave Edition!!!11
So in meantime, Odine vill recap the past week of Lunatic Discord actions fur those of us who are dead, out of commission, or too lazy to pop in and say 'Guten Tag' from zeit to zeit.
1 - Ze Curious Case of (Ze Frozen und Inoperative Training Center) Buttons
Fun vas had in empty Balamb Town, but upon return to ze Garden, training center iz FROZEN! Und vat iz going on with Rinoa?
Upon her arrival at Cid's office, she started to convulse like crazy person. Und just like zat, POOF! Rinoa disappears, taking Squall und Xu vith her!
2 - Ze Well-Planned Operation Zat Goes Nowhere (Like Healthcare Reform in US Congress)
It appears zat Squall, Rinoa and Xu are gone! Cid steps into action like man possessed. Irvine, Laguna und Selphie decide to run rescue mission to ze castle - vere zey successful?
After much promotion und snack prep...
3 - Rumble in ze Castle, Vere Traitorousness iz ze Name of ze Game
In a scene zat tickled Odine's traitorous heart, it appears zat Xu plays for ze other team. No, not zat team. Ultimecia's team! Vat!? True enough! Xu iz traitor now!
Squall valiantly fought off Ultimecia's zombie army (he must smell like ze garbage dump now) but shock! Ultimecia claims Rinoa's body for her own. Chapter drei (zat iz three, fools) iz full of fun sexual metaphor.
4 - Ze Vest Laid Plans of Mice und Men...
Operation Grumpy Marmoset iz undone since ze people to be rescued have rescued themselves. Crying und ze tearing of garments at ze lack of gummi moombas.
Squall iz tired, Rinoa iz not Rinoa, Xu iz to be court-martialed. Seifer says "Xu has ze SeeD manual tattooed on her cerebral cortex," und Cid says "XU CAN'T HANDLE ZE TRUTH!!!!!111 Arrest her anyway!"
Operation Grumpy Marmoset tries to get started again, but that's too effing bad (oh, ze ironies of life) because it iz time for Not!Rinoa und her Female, 17-Syllable Loving Knight to take us all on a field trip to ze set of Spartacus!
5 - I Came, I Saw, I...What ze Fuck iz Zis Place?
Und at present, ze company of misfits, traitors und rejects from ze cast of Gladiator iz in ze early days of ze Dollet Empire. It may be ze year 33 but iz zat hot bitch Tiberius in charge? (If only it vas Caligula or Nero, or Odine's player's personal favorite crazy bitch, Commodus!)
Battle has begun! But vill zey be captured and forced to participate in one of Caligula's orgies? Vill Laguna know a plebeian from a patrician? Vill Squall wear a sexy toga?
VE SHALL SEE!
--
Danke! Zis vas Odine vith ze Lunatic Discord Recap - Beyond ze Grave Edition!!!11