Seifer And the Technicolor Dreamcoat
We're all lacking a little culture these days. And Ward pointed out to me that theater was awesome and cultured and stuff, so I figured I would write a play inspired by the most amazing thing I have seen in my travels:
Seifer's coat.
I hope you all enjoy! It's a work in progress, since I'm still wandering around the labyrinth. Help me think of an ending! And feel free to add more cast!
Cast
Sheath Masty - A young man in possession of a glorious coat of powers
Wyrl Wynd - A pirate chick with an eyepatch
Raggan Muphun - A large man with a rod
Squirrel Konflickt - Sheath's mortal enemy, with the Pants of Destiny
Kris Hotgarr - A beautiful but difficult lady knight with a secret power
Earwing Kinnetic - A man with pretty hair and the Coat of Sorrow
Estuary Lore - A charming and humble minstrel
Dias Exe - A pretty girl with cosmic powers
And a surprise character!
Act I: And He Went Forth Out of Garden
[A large fortress looms in the distance, and in a field a tall young man and his two companions appear to be in heated discussion]
Sheath: The heck with those losers, I go out to seek my destiny!
Wyrl: We're with you until the end, but where are our provisions? I can plunder much, but there's not a sucker for miles!
Raggan: And I need to polish my rod.
Sheath flings the bottom of his coat dramatically.
Sheath: You forget, I am Sheath Masty, and I possess The Coat!
His companions are awed.
Sheath: And you need an upgrade from that rod anyway, Raggan. Have a discostick.
He pulls a stick with a very shiny mirrored ball on the end of it out of the back of his coat. Raggan is impressed.
Raggan: Oh wow, something I don't have to polish!
Wyrl: But what about me?! IRE.
Sheath: Don't worry, I have a collapsible pirate airship for you. Just add water.
He pulls a small pill from his pocket, and with a bottle of water pulled from another he sprinkles some on the pill before tossing it far from them into the field. An airship blossoms.
Sheath: See? Now we can bust this joint.
Act II: Encounter At Fisherman's Horizon
[Sheath stands proudly at the forward bow of the ship, while Wyrl steers.]
Sheath: Raggan, you want to go fishing? I think we could take this place and get you a pole.
Raggan is sitting a ways off, petting his discostick.
Wyrl: Captain, there's enemies off the port bow! IRE.
Sheath: Battle stations! FLOWER BRIGADE.
An airship with a flower insignia on it is seen. At the helm are a lovely blonde woman with a serious expression and a man with fabulous leather pants.
Raggan: Oh no! It's Squirrel Kontackt, with the PANTS OF DESTINY!
Indeed, Squirrel's pants are fabulous.
Sheath: Well, they are no match for The Coat, destiny-infused though they may be.
He pulls out a Very Big Sword.
Sheath: Do you and your wench challenge me, brigand?
Squirrel: ...
Sheath: Very well!
They lock in epic battle. The woman on the ship files her nails.
Sheath: I HAVE YOU NOW, SQUIRREL!
Sheath unhooks one of the belts, which are safeguards of the pants of destiny. Before he can get the other, though, a brilliant light appears and Dias Exe appears, with giant wings.
Dias: STOP. I cannot let you destroy each other!
Sheath: But he is my sworn enemy!
Squirrel: ...Yeah.
Dias: Then I will send you as far from each other as possible, to opposite ends of the globe to think about what you've done.
Brilliant light and confetti as the cast is flung about to parts unknown. Sheath tries to use the power of The Coat, but Dias Exe cannot be stopped.
Interlude: The Minstrel, The Lady Knight, and The Sorrow
[A humble minstrel sits in a field of pink flowers, strumming an equally pink Automatic Lute. He is content.]
Estuary: What a nice day...
Then, two figures fall from the sky, one landing on the minstrel.
Estuary: Oh my!
Kris: Thank you for being soft and smelling nice!
Earwing: The ground hurts.
Estuary: I am but a humble minstrel, but I was once a field doctor! Let me tend to you, sky people that came from nowhere!
They go off into the forest, where there is a nice pool of water.
Estuary: Here, let me take your coat. You can wash your pretty hair.
Earwing: But my coat is my sorrow and my life, I cannot hand it to anyone, even a humble minstrel.
Estuary: Ah, ok.
Kris: His coat cannot hold powers and supplies unlimited, and it weighs on his soul.
Estuary: Well that sucks!
Earwing: Indeed.
Estuary: Well let's just all take a bath then.
And it is so.
Act IV: The Final Countdown
[Sheath is atop a snowy mountain, with the remains of an Ancient Monistary of Martial Learning.]
Sheath: Curses! If only I had pulled out the plebotinum I had within The Coat, I could have disarmed Dias Exe's spell and gotten her and Kris into bikinis!
He wanders the grounds, pondering how best to use the coat. Then, a hooded figure appears, holding a small device that glows with an artificial light.
Sheath: Halt! Don't make me pull something out of this coat.
Figure: Don't make me summon an army with my EyePhone.
Indeed, she has an EyePhone.
Sheath: Then you must be... none other than the fabled Mai Fun Ping!
Mai Fun: With our powers combined...
Sheath: We could rule the world.
To Be Continued...
HEAR THE AUDIO VERSION.
Seifer's coat.
I hope you all enjoy! It's a work in progress, since I'm still wandering around the labyrinth. Help me think of an ending! And feel free to add more cast!
Cast
Sheath Masty - A young man in possession of a glorious coat of powers
Wyrl Wynd - A pirate chick with an eyepatch
Raggan Muphun - A large man with a rod
Squirrel Konflickt - Sheath's mortal enemy, with the Pants of Destiny
Kris Hotgarr - A beautiful but difficult lady knight with a secret power
Earwing Kinnetic - A man with pretty hair and the Coat of Sorrow
Estuary Lore - A charming and humble minstrel
Dias Exe - A pretty girl with cosmic powers
And a surprise character!
Act I: And He Went Forth Out of Garden
[A large fortress looms in the distance, and in a field a tall young man and his two companions appear to be in heated discussion]
Sheath: The heck with those losers, I go out to seek my destiny!
Wyrl: We're with you until the end, but where are our provisions? I can plunder much, but there's not a sucker for miles!
Raggan: And I need to polish my rod.
Sheath flings the bottom of his coat dramatically.
Sheath: You forget, I am Sheath Masty, and I possess The Coat!
His companions are awed.
Sheath: And you need an upgrade from that rod anyway, Raggan. Have a discostick.
He pulls a stick with a very shiny mirrored ball on the end of it out of the back of his coat. Raggan is impressed.
Raggan: Oh wow, something I don't have to polish!
Wyrl: But what about me?! IRE.
Sheath: Don't worry, I have a collapsible pirate airship for you. Just add water.
He pulls a small pill from his pocket, and with a bottle of water pulled from another he sprinkles some on the pill before tossing it far from them into the field. An airship blossoms.
Sheath: See? Now we can bust this joint.
Act II: Encounter At Fisherman's Horizon
[Sheath stands proudly at the forward bow of the ship, while Wyrl steers.]
Sheath: Raggan, you want to go fishing? I think we could take this place and get you a pole.
Raggan is sitting a ways off, petting his discostick.
Wyrl: Captain, there's enemies off the port bow! IRE.
Sheath: Battle stations! FLOWER BRIGADE.
An airship with a flower insignia on it is seen. At the helm are a lovely blonde woman with a serious expression and a man with fabulous leather pants.
Raggan: Oh no! It's Squirrel Kontackt, with the PANTS OF DESTINY!
Indeed, Squirrel's pants are fabulous.
Sheath: Well, they are no match for The Coat, destiny-infused though they may be.
He pulls out a Very Big Sword.
Sheath: Do you and your wench challenge me, brigand?
Squirrel: ...
Sheath: Very well!
They lock in epic battle. The woman on the ship files her nails.
Sheath: I HAVE YOU NOW, SQUIRREL!
Sheath unhooks one of the belts, which are safeguards of the pants of destiny. Before he can get the other, though, a brilliant light appears and Dias Exe appears, with giant wings.
Dias: STOP. I cannot let you destroy each other!
Sheath: But he is my sworn enemy!
Squirrel: ...Yeah.
Dias: Then I will send you as far from each other as possible, to opposite ends of the globe to think about what you've done.
Brilliant light and confetti as the cast is flung about to parts unknown. Sheath tries to use the power of The Coat, but Dias Exe cannot be stopped.
Interlude: The Minstrel, The Lady Knight, and The Sorrow
[A humble minstrel sits in a field of pink flowers, strumming an equally pink Automatic Lute. He is content.]
Estuary: What a nice day...
Then, two figures fall from the sky, one landing on the minstrel.
Estuary: Oh my!
Kris: Thank you for being soft and smelling nice!
Earwing: The ground hurts.
Estuary: I am but a humble minstrel, but I was once a field doctor! Let me tend to you, sky people that came from nowhere!
They go off into the forest, where there is a nice pool of water.
Estuary: Here, let me take your coat. You can wash your pretty hair.
Earwing: But my coat is my sorrow and my life, I cannot hand it to anyone, even a humble minstrel.
Estuary: Ah, ok.
Kris: His coat cannot hold powers and supplies unlimited, and it weighs on his soul.
Estuary: Well that sucks!
Earwing: Indeed.
Estuary: Well let's just all take a bath then.
And it is so.
Act IV: The Final Countdown
[Sheath is atop a snowy mountain, with the remains of an Ancient Monistary of Martial Learning.]
Sheath: Curses! If only I had pulled out the plebotinum I had within The Coat, I could have disarmed Dias Exe's spell and gotten her and Kris into bikinis!
He wanders the grounds, pondering how best to use the coat. Then, a hooded figure appears, holding a small device that glows with an artificial light.
Sheath: Halt! Don't make me pull something out of this coat.
Figure: Don't make me summon an army with my EyePhone.
Indeed, she has an EyePhone.
Sheath: Then you must be... none other than the fabled Mai Fun Ping!
Mai Fun: With our powers combined...
Sheath: We could rule the world.
To Be Continued...
HEAR THE AUDIO VERSION.