(no subject)
Im over at my moms doing laundry. Im glad she lets me do it here b/c im tired of the fucking laundrymat or however you spell that. lol. I haven't written in here in so long it seems like its almost like im forgetting how to. However, i guess i've got alot going on so i'll write. Last weekend Candace and I went to san antonio so i could see my g/f one last time before she left for the military. She wont be back until december. Now i know that i love jess, and i've always known that she's one of the kindest people i've ever met, but, i think the whole falling inlove thing hit me last weekend. I haven't felt like this in so long. And im kind of angry with her for leaving, and im not going to lie, i know thats very selfish of me, but im a lameass. I knew i'd miss her but damn i didnt know i'd miss her this much. I miss the stupid shit like her laugh, and the way she'd say "yeah" whenever she gets excited over stuff like a little kid, and the way her face would light up. Im dealing with it the best i can, and im not dealing well. However ill get through this and if we're still together when she gets back in december then im not losing her again. I really just miss having her around me all the time. She's so comforting. I miss holding on to her at night. I cant write about it anymore tho, it's to much of an emotional subject.
So I did my school hours and ill be graduating school in September. I, of course started crying lol. I was like wow i can believe *I* have actually finished something. I've never done anything worth while. Maybe i really AM growing up. :P Doubtful.
my mom was going to paint earlier so she put on this tank top it was really cute (she never wears anything at all thats kind of exposing) and then she pinned up her hair, and i wondered if she has any idea how gorgeous she really is.........
the last night i spent with my girlfriend we were having a discusion about religion and i just remember her saying "april, how would things be if people had nothing to believe in, you have to believe in something" Her saying that keeps sticking in my mind for some reason.
I hate being inlove. Inlove with something who isnt here anyway.
"So I'm taking these pills to fill up my soul
And I'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol
And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
But you, you're the catalyst"
So I did my school hours and ill be graduating school in September. I, of course started crying lol. I was like wow i can believe *I* have actually finished something. I've never done anything worth while. Maybe i really AM growing up. :P Doubtful.
my mom was going to paint earlier so she put on this tank top it was really cute (she never wears anything at all thats kind of exposing) and then she pinned up her hair, and i wondered if she has any idea how gorgeous she really is.........
the last night i spent with my girlfriend we were having a discusion about religion and i just remember her saying "april, how would things be if people had nothing to believe in, you have to believe in something" Her saying that keeps sticking in my mind for some reason.
I hate being inlove. Inlove with something who isnt here anyway.
"So I'm taking these pills to fill up my soul
And I'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol
And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
But you, you're the catalyst"