(no subject)
I'm really starting to worry that I won't be able to function, have meaningful relationships, etc, that I'm way too conscious of things and over analytical. I'm so aware of social things that I analyze social interaction and I know I can see things on a different level when it comes to it. I was thinking the other day about what something meant, in what context, based on the people involved...as you can see this would quickly grow to insanity. And I notice in general I'm really starting to think about things, like making really intellectual connections and having great conversations and wanting to read for class and go to class, talk with professors, etc. I've always had a lot of those things, but it's different now. Perhaps I'm just more aware of it since I'll soon be leaving it.
I've been doing some great research for my senior thesis, so thats encouraging. I've been really stressed about the sheer amount of work I have. Ate lunch with the Dean today, very nice as I hardly get to see him anymore. Greek yesterday was good, both installments of it, lol. We rescheduled our class from tuesday so we had it twice yesterday. My film class was just frustrating, as a lot of the girls in there haven't had intro to film studies and are really unfamiliar with the discipline and what they should actually be looking for in a film. She asked a question about the most famous scene in romantic comedy and there was silence. I mean come on people!! Philosophy was great too, we watched videos and discussed new media, fan related art/fiction/etc. That was neat.
As far as life goes, lately I've just been sitting sometimes. Or I'll find myself just staring out the window, looking around the quad. I don't know if again, that sense of leaving and life starting is at play, and I feel I need to smell the roses while I can maybe. I've been thinking that there are two trees here I'd love to take cuttings of and try to grow bonsai from, they're just beautiful. Ideal would be to grow them, establish them, perfect replicas of the ones here and gift them to the college. That would require someone here who knew how to care for them though. They'd probably end up in the science building where no one would know about them. My orchids are growing nicely. I feel like they all get lots of new growth, but never blooms. grr.. its too early for some of them though so thats ok.
Saw a film today called "Lake of Fire" basically a three hour documentary about abortion. Very very good though. I love film, and I'm really loving anthropology right now. I have so many fucking interests that whatever I'm heavily involved in I manage to feel 'yeah, yeah-this is right, this is what i want to do!'. I feel that way about plants, costuming, anthropology, and film. also travel, obviously. And I'm just really worried about things, and people, and I'm starting to feel like I need to make a difference. I began the application process for the Peace Corps. Kinda serious, I know. I have time though..to decide. i'd like to talk to people who did a tour, not the people on the website but someone who will tell me the truth. i had a friend who applied and for some reason it didn't work out, I wonder what that was.
I wish things were different for people in the world. Its so strange to me when you consider how we're organized into countries. Its very arbitrary and really impractical. Think of how many different zealous groups we have in the US, if we rearranged things and organized into states by beliefs and values, it might make more sense. Then I also see the benefit of mixing it up, of having diversity in states and countries, but it just seems to cause so much damn conflict. I don't understand anyone who is super extreme, and I don't understand people who want to create legistration that limits the rights of citizens based on their opinions, for things that should be personal rights and choices. If you're against something, don't do it. Doesn't mean everyone else has to abide by your personal preferences. So got a little ranty, had no idea.
I'm out, trying not to be depressing.
I've been doing some great research for my senior thesis, so thats encouraging. I've been really stressed about the sheer amount of work I have. Ate lunch with the Dean today, very nice as I hardly get to see him anymore. Greek yesterday was good, both installments of it, lol. We rescheduled our class from tuesday so we had it twice yesterday. My film class was just frustrating, as a lot of the girls in there haven't had intro to film studies and are really unfamiliar with the discipline and what they should actually be looking for in a film. She asked a question about the most famous scene in romantic comedy and there was silence. I mean come on people!! Philosophy was great too, we watched videos and discussed new media, fan related art/fiction/etc. That was neat.
As far as life goes, lately I've just been sitting sometimes. Or I'll find myself just staring out the window, looking around the quad. I don't know if again, that sense of leaving and life starting is at play, and I feel I need to smell the roses while I can maybe. I've been thinking that there are two trees here I'd love to take cuttings of and try to grow bonsai from, they're just beautiful. Ideal would be to grow them, establish them, perfect replicas of the ones here and gift them to the college. That would require someone here who knew how to care for them though. They'd probably end up in the science building where no one would know about them. My orchids are growing nicely. I feel like they all get lots of new growth, but never blooms. grr.. its too early for some of them though so thats ok.
Saw a film today called "Lake of Fire" basically a three hour documentary about abortion. Very very good though. I love film, and I'm really loving anthropology right now. I have so many fucking interests that whatever I'm heavily involved in I manage to feel 'yeah, yeah-this is right, this is what i want to do!'. I feel that way about plants, costuming, anthropology, and film. also travel, obviously. And I'm just really worried about things, and people, and I'm starting to feel like I need to make a difference. I began the application process for the Peace Corps. Kinda serious, I know. I have time though..to decide. i'd like to talk to people who did a tour, not the people on the website but someone who will tell me the truth. i had a friend who applied and for some reason it didn't work out, I wonder what that was.
I wish things were different for people in the world. Its so strange to me when you consider how we're organized into countries. Its very arbitrary and really impractical. Think of how many different zealous groups we have in the US, if we rearranged things and organized into states by beliefs and values, it might make more sense. Then I also see the benefit of mixing it up, of having diversity in states and countries, but it just seems to cause so much damn conflict. I don't understand anyone who is super extreme, and I don't understand people who want to create legistration that limits the rights of citizens based on their opinions, for things that should be personal rights and choices. If you're against something, don't do it. Doesn't mean everyone else has to abide by your personal preferences. So got a little ranty, had no idea.
I'm out, trying not to be depressing.