(no subject)
A verse on K____’s blog leapt out at me, “you have not because you ask not”. Well, I may envy her always fitting in the right groove in life but that doesn’t change the fact that God hasn’t made me want what she wants. I still don’t want her life. I just want to fit as neatly into my life as she does into hers.
S____ was right. Doing God’s will doesn’t necessarily involve peace. There is a litany of prophets to prove the opposite - Noah, Jeremiah, Daniel, Jonah, Elijah and on and on.
I don’t think I’m worried anymore about being where God wants me or doing what He expects. I think, for the time being, I am. It’s not peaceful either.
What I hate is that feeling of always being on the outside of my own life, looking in. Of not wanting my own life and endlessly hoping for a major change. K____ always seems to want her life as it is and to want to be where she is. She doesn’t spend her life waiting expectantly for the winds of change. She is too involved in the here and now. I deeply envy that. Not bitterly, just wistfully.
S____ was right. Doing God’s will doesn’t necessarily involve peace. There is a litany of prophets to prove the opposite - Noah, Jeremiah, Daniel, Jonah, Elijah and on and on.
I don’t think I’m worried anymore about being where God wants me or doing what He expects. I think, for the time being, I am. It’s not peaceful either.
What I hate is that feeling of always being on the outside of my own life, looking in. Of not wanting my own life and endlessly hoping for a major change. K____ always seems to want her life as it is and to want to be where she is. She doesn’t spend her life waiting expectantly for the winds of change. She is too involved in the here and now. I deeply envy that. Not bitterly, just wistfully.