I must be insane...
I've gone back to University to do my Masters degree and at the moment, I'm not even sure I'll make it through my first subject. The amount of reading you have to do is insane and there are 3 assignments (that's just one subject). Whatever possessed someone with SLE to think they could work full-time and study part-time?
I haven't studied for 15 years. I don't even know how academic libraries work anymore. I don't know how to use the databases to look up journal articles and I have to learn the new way of referencing. Thank God I can write, otherwise I would lie down and die. How 55 year olds do it, I have no idea.
In the midst of all this change and panic is grief for Panny and minor irritations like dealing with a small mouse plague. I've been feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and sore.
I know its just transition and in a few weeks, all the new things will feel normal and routine. I will learn the new skills I need to learn.
And there is never ever a good time to lose a friend - that doesn't exist.
(Eventually, even the mice will figure out that their cheese has moved.)
Still, I have been feeling slightly crazy.
I've been questioning whether age is catching up with me and I'm losing my ability to adjust and adapt, but thinking back to all the other times of transition in my life, I seem to remember it was just as stressful. It's just that when you're young, you have less on your plate. No mortgage, for instance. When you're young, you have more time and space to process the change, I think. I have no time to process, I barely have time to 'do'.
Well, we'll see how far I get with this course.
I haven't studied for 15 years. I don't even know how academic libraries work anymore. I don't know how to use the databases to look up journal articles and I have to learn the new way of referencing. Thank God I can write, otherwise I would lie down and die. How 55 year olds do it, I have no idea.
In the midst of all this change and panic is grief for Panny and minor irritations like dealing with a small mouse plague. I've been feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and sore.
I know its just transition and in a few weeks, all the new things will feel normal and routine. I will learn the new skills I need to learn.
And there is never ever a good time to lose a friend - that doesn't exist.
(Eventually, even the mice will figure out that their cheese has moved.)
Still, I have been feeling slightly crazy.
I've been questioning whether age is catching up with me and I'm losing my ability to adjust and adapt, but thinking back to all the other times of transition in my life, I seem to remember it was just as stressful. It's just that when you're young, you have less on your plate. No mortgage, for instance. When you're young, you have more time and space to process the change, I think. I have no time to process, I barely have time to 'do'.
Well, we'll see how far I get with this course.