Runaway Love chapter 4

[lunarrays]

beta-ed by moon1084

“There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world.
The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us,
with or without repentance.”

~Gilbert Parker

Yunho sat on the edge of his bed, as he ran his fingers through his hair.

It was two in the morning and all he can think of was Jaejoong and JiYool.

The first time Yunho had been separated from Jaejoong, before the divorce, it had been pride and shame that had kept him from going to Jaejoong and begging him back. Pride, well because he's a man and wouldn't think that what he had done was so out of character for someone who had supposedly fallen out of love. Shame, because Jaejoong had witnessed his infidelity, and Yunho didn't know how to face him. It had taken him three years to work up the guts to put his plan into action. Yunho was almost scared at seeing Jaejoong face to face again. Now Yunho knew that he had a reason to worry. Jaejoong had been beyond mad, far beyond angry. He had been livid when he had thought that he had lost his daughter. Yunho was proud that Jaejoong was such a protective parent. He really couldn't see the man in any other light. He knew that Jaejoong would be fierce when it came to his child.

When Jaejoong had fled with JiYool, yes, he had been disappointed but he was also at ease with it. Yunho knew that it wouldn't be long before he found his run away ex again. It just bothered him that Jaejoong had been so mad at him, and didn't even give him a chance to talk to him. Not that he didn't blame Jae for his anger, the man more than deserved to be angry at him, and he had never known Jaejoong to be a violent person, so the punch had shocked Yunho to the core. Jaejoong's anger had been like a raging storm and it just went out of control when Yunho had the gall to stop him in the hallway of the court house.

But, Jae's anger didn't stop him from wanting him back.

Now, it's almost five years later and he had a problem. He didn't know where Jaejoong was. When he had disappeared, he made sure no one knew where he was, not even his Umma. Yunho had spent everyday of the last five years looking for Jaejoong and JiYool with no luck. He had called Soo Mi so many times trying to gain any information that he could get from her. But, Soo Mi knew as much as Yunho did about Jaejoong's and JiYool's whereabouts, which was nothing. Apparently, Jaejoong had kept his location from his umma, even until now. He didn't trust his mom to not give him away to Yunho. It was like Jaejoong and JiYool fell off the face of the earth.

Yunho's eyes lowered to the floor. There, beside his bed scattered, were pictures of Jaejoong, and some of him and Jaejoong. They were the ones that Jae had forgotten to take with him. The ones were he and Jaejoong were younger, before they had been boyfriends, when they had first gotten together, and right up to where Yunho had made the mistake of cheating on Jaejoong.

Yunho reached down, picking up one picture of a really young Jaejoong. Yunho felt his heart clench at the bright smile and the even brighter eyes beaming back at him from the photo. The memories rushed back to him in blinding flashes.

The first time they met was while walking to school. Yunho remembered being hit from behind and almost stumbling to a fall before catching himself. Yunho had turned, ready to give the person who was careless enough not to watch where they were going a piece of his mind, until he had looked upon that person.

The boy looked to be the same age as him. He glowed with happiness. His face had been turned up and his eyes closed. The smile on his face was big and showed what he felt inside.

Yunho's breath had caught at the sight. Never in all his nine years had he seen something, no, someone so 'angelic'. The boy’s bump into him had finally registered with him and he lowered his head to where his eyes met Yunho's.

Even though Yunho was a young boy, at the moment, when their eyes met, he knew that the other was special. He knew that somehow this boy was going to be more than a friend to him. But being as young as he was, he didn't know what that 'being more than a friend' was.

Yunho sighed as held the picture gently. Jaejoong had been someone special and he had known it at such a young age.

That day, the two boys struck up a friendship that started out innocently enough. Their bond kept growing more and more each day until they were inseparable. They went through Jr. High stuck to each others hips, having sleepovers at each others houses and doing what normal teenage boys do. Then they entered high school and guys would start inviting one or the other or both of them to parties or outings. But they always gravitated back to each other; their personal bubble still intact.

During this time Yunho would at times find himself watching the smaller boy intently, Jae never catching on and becoming all the wiser to how his best friend’s feelings had been changing from mere friendship to something that he didn't understand. Yunho hadn't understood his rapidly beating heart from Jaejoong being close to him, had been confused at the rush of heat that made him flush from head to toe when Jae simply laid his hand on him.

As he grew, he had learned and he began to understand what he was feeling. For a few weeks, these feelings scared him and he spent less and less time with his best friend.

Yunho felt guilty for not being with Jae, and not telling him the whole truth. He was successful for a little while, but then, he couldn't handle not being around Jae and being able to touch him and have Jae return the simple touches back.

For months Yunho, what he had deemed as torture, bared with his feelings for Jae until one night Jae spent the night with Yunho, a sleepover, when they were sophomores.

Yunho's passions couldn't be held in as Jae got ready for his shower; Yunho had to leave the room.

Going down to the spacious kitchen, Yunho started gathering snacks for them for when they settled down on Yunho's bed to watch the action movie.

His mind was fully on the slender young boy up stairs in his room at that moment. He had to resist temptation or risk ruining his friendship with Jaejoong.

With tray in hand, Yunho made his way slowly back up to his room. As he opened the door, he breathed out a sigh of relief at finding his room empty, Jae had already left to go shower.

Setting the tray on his dresser, his hands trembled as he raised them to tunnel through his short hair. His heart pounded and he felt sweat covering his brow.

Yunho closed his eyes trying to bring down the want for his best friend. It didn't help matters that he could see a naked Jae on the back of his closed eye lids.

Groaning Yunho gripped at his hair trying to forget the images of Jaejoong naked out of his mind.

Sure they had been friends for a long time now, and yes, he has seen Jae nude several times and when they slept over at each others houses they shared the same bed. At that thought Yunho shivered, he knew that Jae was expecting to sleep in the same bed as him.

"Yunnie."

Yunho turned towards his door when he heard Jae's light tinkling voice echo from his family’s one bathroom.

Walking slowly, Yunho just couldn't figure out how he was going to get through this night with his sanity intact.

Quietly opening the door, steam rolled out and the scent of Jaejoong's body wash curled around his senses. Yunho inhaled deeply, relishing in a scent that Yunho knew on Jae so well. Taking another deep breath, Yunho stepped in.

"Yunho?" Jaejoong's voice rang out from behind the blue and white stripped shower curtain.

"Yeah Jae, it's me." Yunho called out, trying to keep his nervousness from showing in his voice.

"Yunho-ah, could you wash my back? I can't reach it and it really itches." There was a slight shuffling from within the shower as he waited for Yunho to answer him.

Yunho felt his body turn cold and would have sworn that his heart stopped for a moment.

"Wa-wash your back?" Yunho repeated, his voice going high and cracking in the end.

"Yeah, if you don't mind. In fact Yunho, you still have to have your shower. Why don't you come in and get it done sooner?"

Yunho shook his head no even as his hands went to the hem of his t-shirt, "Are you sure Jae?" His voice sounding like a cat clawing on a chalk board to him.

He heard Jae moving around again and assumed that Jae was making room for him to join him in the shower.

"Sure why not. We've showered together before."

"Yeah, when I didn't want you in a not so best friend kind of way." Yunho muttered under his breath.

Movement paused behind the curtain, "What was that?"

Yunho closed his eyes, "Alright give me a minute."

Yunho wondered what he thought he was doing. He asked himself questions that he didn't want to answer, because he knew that if he did ask those questions he would talk himself out of going into that shower with Jaejoong. So instead, Yunho stripped down.

Keeping his head down, Yunho pulled the curtain back just enough to get in, and then pulled the shower curtain closed after him.

Exhaling harshly, his whole body was more than aware of Jaejoong’s closeness, of his nude body just inches away from his own.

Very carefully, Yunho lifted his eyes up trying to prepare himself to face Jaejoong. He gasped softly as his eyes slid over his friend’s pale slick back. He noticed all the changes that Jae's body had undergone since they were younger. Those once slim shoulders had broadened out some giving a hint of how broad they would be when he was fully grown and the way the muscles of his back flexed as he moved. Yunho gulped as he allowed his eyes to travel lower, his eyes widening at the soft plumps cheeks before him.

His hands itched to reach out and touch. His lips tingled to taste, his tongue burned to lick, and to Yunho, it scared him. The temptation of Jaejoong scared him. His best friend made him hard and made his insides turn to hot molten jelly.

"Yunho?"

Yunho's head jerked up to see Jae's smiling face, his hand holding out a soft bath sponge with body wash on it.

"Wash my back?"

Jae's eyes studied him as he quickly grabbed the sponge, before he slowly turned around presenting his back to Yunho.

Softly he pressed the sponge to Jae's back and slowly moved it down Jae's back and then back up again.

Yunho's breathing became heavier, just as his cock between his thighs became harder when Yunho's fingertips felt Jae's warm skin around the sponge.

Not really stopping to think, Yunho slowly moved back down Jae's body, this time going lower, past his waist. He slid the soapy sponge over the soft ass he had been longing to touch earlier. Yunho moved in circles, letting his fingers feel the soft but firm flesh he had been trying to resist. The sponge slipped from his grasp, plopping to the shower floor.

With no barrier, Yunho let his soapy fingers glide over quivering butt cheeks. Yunho moaned out as he slid his fingers between the valley of Jae's cheeks, not hearing his friends surprised gasp, not noticing the drop of his head or the shaking of his body.

"Yunho?"

His name being whispered out brought him out of his trance like state of mind. He was horrified at what he had been doing to his friend and just knew that he had lost Jaejoong in his moment of weakness.

Jaejoong turned and stared up at Yunho with questioning eyes until Yunho couldn't take it and turned from him, his shoulders hunched over from shame.

His hands balled into fist at his sides, his eyes clenched shut to keep the tears in, "God Jaejoong! I'm sorry! I've told myself so many times to not touch you, not to put my hands on you. And now I have and I've ruined our friendship." Yunho's voice was rough with regret, his throat shutting tight making it difficult to breathe much less talk through the constricting muscles.

Yunho's guilt intensified when Jae didn't say anything. The only sound that could be heard was that of the water from the shower head falling around them.

Yunho shook his head and lifted his hand to pull the shower curtain back to leave the tub when he felt two arms sliding around his waist, Jae's wet body pressed up tight to Yunho's back.

"Yunho no. I wanted you to. I want you to touch me." Jae's voice was breathless in his ear, and Yunho could tell from the shaking of his words that he was nervous telling him this.

Jae's hands moved over Yunho's abs, making him shudder under his light touches.

"I've wanted you to touch me for a long time now, but you wouldn't. I knew you wanted to and I didn't know why you kept yourself from it, that's why I wanted you to shower with me. I thought that if you showered with me, then you might touch me." Jaejoong whispered, his hands moving again, sliding down his arms, his fingers unclenched Yunho's, their fingers interlacing together.

Jaejoong turned Yunho around to face him, placing Yunho's hands on his chest, "Yunho please touch me. Feel me."

Yunho wrenched his hands from Jaejoong's, harshly pushing the smaller body against the shower wall. His eyes finding and holding the eyes of his best friend.

"If I start touching you, I won't be able to stop, you hear me Jae. I won't stop. I won't be able to. I have wanted this for so long, so please be sure this is what you want." Yunho wanted more than anything for Jae to want this, Yunho didn't think he could handle being with Jae and not touching him any longer.

Yunho growled when Jae licked his lips, rather Jae did it intentionally to look sexy or not was not what Yunho was thinking of though. He was thinking of having that tongue in his mouth, those lips over his.

"Yunho, you don't have to stop. Kiss me," came Jae's shaky reply.

Yunho in his sixteen year old mind did the only thing he could think of. Clumsily, he pressed his lips to Jae's. He was eager to express to his best friend how he felt through this kiss. By Jae's shocked gasp, Yunho figured that Jae figured it all out.

To young and to inexperienced to control his emotions, Yunho let himself go. His tongue thrust into the warm cave of Jaejoong's mouth and as Jae gagged at the unexpected invasion, Yunho moaned at the sweet honey that coated his tongue. To intoxicated to notice Jae's attempts at pushing out his tongue, Yunho tilted his head to the side, his only intent was to taste more of Jae.

Yunho loved it. He loved being able to kiss Jae without the fear of what his friend would think of it. He loved having his wet body sliding against Jae's hot wet body. His hands began to wander, exploring places that had once been forbidden to him, and that he only dreamed of touching.

Yunho enjoyed it until he became aware of Jae's struggle to breathe and not gag. His head lifted up, lips parting from the small boy in front of him.

"Jae, I'm sorry are you ok?"

Jaejoong's breathing was harsh, eyes wide, lips trembling.

"Yunho?"

His voice was low, his body unconsciously tilting closer.

"I've never been kissed by anyone before. Can we go slower?" Jae's eyes lowered to Yunho's chest, and Yunho was happy that Jae hadn't told him to stop all together.

Yunho breathed out, "Slower?" Yunho smiled down at Jaejoong. "I can do that. We'll do whatever you want to do." Yunho kept his eyes on Jae's as he slowly lowered his head once again. His mouth meeting Jae's wet lips again. This time there was no tongue, only the slick glide of lips over lips.

Yunho's own eyes closed tightly, his arms going around Jaejoong, bringing the smaller body closer to him. And Yunho had no idea as to how he forgot that they were in the shower, naked. Jaejoong's nude body against his made him wrench his lips from Jaejoong. Yunho rested his forehead against Jae's, trying his best to bring his raging hormones under control. He knew that he nor Jaejoong were ready for more than just kissing and maybe a little touching, but going all the way, Yunho didn't know anything about going all the way, he didn't have any experience either when it came to sex.

Yunho sighed, "Let's get out of here before something that we both are not ready for happens."

Yunho stepped back and turned to exit the tub when he felt hands slid around his waist.

"I never said okay. What if I want something more to happen?" Jaejoong murmured, his breath ghosting against Yunho's back.

Yunho shuddered as those hands slid over his lower belly, going down, down.

"Jae." Yunho managed to croak out at the first touch from Jaejoong's fingers on his erected cock.

"Yunho just let me do this. You're hard and I can help."

Even though Jaejoong had his hand wrapped around him, and he sounded confident, Yunho could still hear the insecurity in Jae's voice, could feel the tremors in his hands.

"Jaejoong, you don't have to do this." Yunho's own voice was trembling.

"I want to. Let me touch you Yunnie." Jae's voice had gone from insecure to just a little more confident.

Yunho moaned out as Jaejoong plastered the front of his body to his back. Those fingers squeezed him gently before starting their first journey down his straining shaft.

Yunho's breath became labored as Jae jerked on him, his hands reaching out to support himself by bracing against the shower wall. Biting his lip, Yunho's body stiffened as a new found pleasure coursed through him, curling his toes and causing him to shiver.

"Yunho, am I doing it right? Does it feel good?"

Goosebumps broke out down his neck at Jaejoong's hot breath on his ear. Moaning louder, Yunho gave a small thrust of his hips.

"Yes, oh yes!"

As Jaejoong stroked him, Yunho moved his hips. Jae's smooth chest slid against his back with their every movement, leaving Yunho more breathless than he already was. Hotness swept through him as pressure built up to a boiling point. He could feel Jae's small puffs of breath on his back, and it brought him closer to the edge. Yunho could feel Jae's soft lips ghost over the back of his neck, "Cum for me." Was whispered out and Yunho was pushed over that edge that he had been toeing the whole time. His body strained, his groan loud as he spilled out onto his best friend’s hand, stray drops splattering onto the porcelain bottom of the tub.

Heavy breathing sounded out in the fogged up bathroom. Hot water fell down on them as they stood with bodies still pressed up together, Jae's arms still around Yunho as Yunho was leaning back against Jae's chest, spent.

Yunho turned around and took Jaejoong into his arms, holding him tight. For a long time they just stood there and hugged each other, neither one saying a word to break the silence.

Yunho nuzzled his face in Jaejoong's hair, his voice low and a little rough, "We really should get out of here; the hot water will run out soon." Yunho muttered as he watched a slow flush spread over Jaejoong's body.

Jae looked down just as his blush reached his cheeks, "Yeah, I guess so."

Yunho felt empty as soon as Jaejoong stepped back, his arms missing the others slender frame instantly.

Shower off, they stepped out and grabbed their towels to dry off.

Yunho slowly glanced over to Jae, his eyes lingering as Jae dried off the water droplets from his flat belly and small thighs before wrapping the white cotton cloth around his waist.

He gave Jae one last look before tying his towel around his hips hastily trying to hide the evidence of his half hardened cock. It happened so quickly. He was looking at Jae and then he was suddenly getting hard. It was just that fast and it kind of embarrassed him.

Yunho brushed his teeth quickly, not wanting Jae to see him do something so gross. Glancing into the mirror, he noticed that Jae's attention wasn't on his face but on his back and ass. When Jae lifted his head, Yunho smiled at him causing Jae's blush to deepen more.

Switching places with Jae, it was Yunho's turn to admire his best friend’s figure. Yunho's mouth fell open as he watched Jae bend over the sink to brush his teeth. His best friend’s perky ass up in the air and it took all Yunho had to keep his hands off him.

Clearing his throat a little, Yunho backed up against the wall behind him, "Um...Jae. I'm going to go back to the bedroom, okay." Yunho didn't wait for a response from Jae. Just as he closed the bathroom door behind him, he saw Jae's head jerk up, a confused look crossing his face. Yunho felt bad about just running out on Jae like that, but he had to get out of that small room with Jaejoong being all a little to sexy for Yunho to take. If he had stayed Yunho didn't know how he would have controlled himself. For being sixteen, he was smart and had a lot of self-control when it came to important things, and Jae to him was very important.

Yunho entered his bedroom with his mind still on the boy in his bathroom. In a flash he had on his boxers and a pair of pajama bottoms. Lying down in his bed, Yunho closed his eyes and let himself think of what happened in the shower. What did it mean? No words of love had been spoken between the two and it was to early for that, even though Yunho knew for sure what he felt for Jae. He knew that he loved Jae, had loved him for a while now. But Jae, how did the other guy feel about him? Yunho hoped that it wasn't just some curiosity that had gotten the better of him and wanted to just experiment.

Yunho really hoped that he was more than an experiment. Jae hadn't spoke of any kind of feelings that he held, just that he wanted to help Yunho in the shower with his 'problem'.

He just loved everything about the other boy. He really liked kissing Jae. Yunho knew Jae would taste like sweet fluff, with just a touch of tart. He smiled thinking of when he could kiss Jae again and taste that mix that lingered on his lips. Then he frowned as he remembered how Jae had gagged and chocked over his tongue. They would have to go slow. They had a lot to learn, if they wanted more than just mere friendship, which he hoped that Jae did.

Yunho sucked in a breath as his door opened and in walked Jae, towel still around his hips, showing off his lightly toned body and long legs. Yunho had trouble staying on the bed, when Jae let the towel drop. Jae bent over his duffel bag and took his boxers in hand, and that's when Yunho remembered that Jaejoong liked to sleep in nothing but his boxers. As Yunho watched Jae slide his boxers up his slim white legs, only to come to rest loosely on his small hips; Yunho became hard again. And this consistently becoming hard in Jae's (and out of Jae's) presence was going to become a problem. He could literally feel it, and it was an uncomfortable feeling not being able to deal with it. So Yunho laid there willing his hardness to go away. Yunho gave another deep sigh as Jae popped in the DVD, pushed play and then slide into bed beside him.

They laid there, side by side as the movie played, neither one making a sound; but both aware of each other.

Yunho guessed that he wasn't the only one who didn't know what to say, or how to act. The dynamics of their friendship had changed that night. Yunho for one wasn't so sure what he and Jae were now. Were they still just friends, or had they morphed into something more? It was apparent that neither he nor Jae knew how to bring around the topic and even more apparent that they both wanted to talk about it. Yunho felt that something needed to be said soon. It felt awkward as he lay there beside an almost naked Jae.

Yunho darted his eyes over to see Jae staring down at his lap, his hands unsettled as he played with his fingers.

Jaejoong shyly lifted his eyes to look at Yunho and Yunho knew that the time had come.

"Yunho, do you like me?"

Jaejoong's inquiry kind of scared Yunho. How was he to answer? If he answered wrong he could lose his friend, but then again something more could develop between them.

Yunho held Jaejoong's eyes as he nodded, a very low yes uttered from his stiff lips, as his heart pounded behind his breastbone.

"For how long?"

Another question Yunho was afraid of answering, but not getting any negative vibes from Jae he answered honestly.

"For a while now. Probably five or six months." Yunho shifted where he felt the heat rise to his face as Jae studied him with shock in his eyes, and Yunho wanted to curse his stupidity.

"That long. So when you were avoiding me...?"

Yunho nodded once again, "Yes Jae. I avoided you because my feelings for had changed and they just grew stronger. I didn't want to loose you, if you had ever found out, so I hid it. I..."

"I knew."

Yunho was stunned at Jaejoong's revelation. "What?"

Jaejoong looked back up, "I knew Yunho. Did you think I wouldn't? We've been friends since grade school, I know you. You had changed around me. At first I thought that it was me; that I had did something wrong. Then I found out, it was me. Only different from what I thought."

Yunho's hands were sweating as he gripped them together.

"Jae, I do like you, and I want to be more than friends. But, only if you want it to."

Yunho couldn't look at Jaejoong, he was sure that his friend would reject him. Why wouldn't he? He was popular with the girls at school. Always nice to them. Yunho didn't know how he would have taken it if Jae had started dating one of them. The thought almost killed him at the idea that Jae could get serious about a girl. Yunho knew that Jae wouldn't enter a relationship without being serious about it, that was just the way he is, and Yunho had always been thankful that Jae had never dated anyone.

"I like you too Yunho." The shy voice was barely heard and Yunho almost missed Jae confessing to him.

"What? Did you say you liked me too?" Yunho wished with everything in him that what he thought he heard wasn't wrong.

Yunho's body jerked when he felt cold fingers wrap around his own clammy fingers.

Jae was smiling as he moved in closer to Yunho, his hand squeezing Yunho's.

"I really like you too. I have ever since I was old enough to understand what I was feeling. I didn't say anything because I didn't know how you felt and I wanted to see if these feelings were real and not something that would just pass me by. But just like your feelings, mine just kept growing." Jaejoong lowered his head to Yunho's chest, his face flaming red as he confessed his feelings to his best friend.

"When you stopped spending time with me or stopped talking to me, I thought I was going to die. I missed you so much; I wanted you back and it hurt to think that you didn't want me as a friend anymore. So I knew that being more than friends with you was out of reach for me. Then one day, I saw you looking at me. It was the same way that I had looked at you when you weren't looking, and that's when I knew you liked me."

Yunho listened quietly, his insides jumping with glee that Jae shared his feelings. His one dream seemed to be in reach for him. Jae's confession gave him enough nerve to ask the question that could make his night or break his heart.

So Yunho took the chance, "Do you want to be together? You know, be my boyfriend?" Yunho asked, his whole body tensing waiting for Jae to answer.

Silence filled the bedroom again, and Yunho felt his heart drop when Jae didn't answer after a few moments.

Thinking it was better to retract the question, Yunho moved some to give Jae some space,

"It's ok Jae, you don't have to-"

"Yes."

Yunho blinked at the interruption, not getting completely what Jae had just said.

"Yes," He repeated stupidly.

Jae smiled as he tilted his head up, his eyes meeting Yunho's, "Yes Yunho. I'll be your boyfriend. Only can we take it slow? I don't think I'm ready for more than kissing and maybe touching with our hands."

Yunho felt a great wave of relief wash over him; felt like he could breathe again.

"Jaejoong." Was all he could say. Jaejoong, his Jaejoong. Yunho pulled Jae closer to him, Jae's back to his chest and wrapped his arms around his chest.

"Does this make us official?" Jae asked his hands rubbing over Yunho's hands, as he snuggled up to Yunho more.

"You bet it does!" Yunho hugged Jaejoong closer to him, so close that he could feel Jaejoong breath as his back moved agaist Yunho's chest; and all Yunho could think was, 'How did I get so lucky?'

And that night, besides a few kisses shared, they held each other as they slept.

It was quit a few months later, after their seventeenth birthdays were celebrated, when those experimental touches became heated enough that Yunho was between Jaejoong's thighs, the both of them about to experience their first time together.

All Yunho remembered about that night was Jae crying, the smaller male pushing against Yunho and begging him to stop. Jae had cried out that it had hurt to much.

"Yunho, I can't do this." Jaejoong's pain filled voice had rang in his ears that night. His said that he did love him, but he just couldn't take the pain. Yunho had held Jae tightly as he tried to overcome their painful first union. It had hurt Jae so much, first upon Yunho's first thrust and even with Yunho just staying still so Jae could get use to him and then when it became to much for Jae, to where Yunho had to withdraw. Jae had found no pleasure in the act.

Just the knowledge that he had hurt Jae from something that should have felt wonderful gave him the incentive to learn the correct way of being with another man.

Yunho had been ashamed at what he had done to Jae after learning what he needed to learn from his internet research. Yunho hadn't known anything about prepping Jae or using any kind of lubricant. Yunho also had learned techniques that he wanted to use on Jae to ready him for their next union. There were two he wanted to use the most. One was something he would have never thought of. Rimming. He had felt his face heat up as he imagined himself doing that to Jaejoong before prepping him with his fingers. Yunho could truthfully say that he had never though of doing that; it had never crossed his mind.

The other thing was a blowjob.

Now this was something that Yunho knew of. Of course he knew about sex, who didn't? It just had been about hetero sex not gay.

The thought of going down on Jae filled his mind constantly. He would catch himself drifting off in class or in front of Jae sitting at the lunch table and he would wonder what Jae tasted like. He had often noticed in the porn that he watched, the one guy receiving the blowjob would always have white or clear cum when he released, and he would wonder if Jaejoong's would be white and thick or clear and runny. He liked to think that Jae's would be thick and creamy, almost like whipped vanilla frosting.

Yunho had decided that Jaejoong wouldn't ever endure painful sex, not from him ever again. Equipped with the knowledge of how, Yunho set out to do some Jae seducing.

And god that night, Yunho could only hope that every time with Jae would be that good. Yunho had never tasted anything as sinful and yet so heavenly at the same time. From the first hesitant stroke of his tongue across Jae's perineum, up over his entrance to the top of his crack, to the hungry thrusting of his tongue inside Jae's tiny hole, to the last slurping lick, Yunho loved every minute of it. He couldn't get enough of Jae's taste, he wanted more of it so much that every few minutes he would have Jaejoong switch to a different position so he could get his tongue in deeper. And from the way Jaejoong was moaning, gasping and crying out Yunho's name in pleasure, Yunho knew that Jae more than enjoyed what he had been doing to him. Yunho also loved that Jae was so sensitive to his touch. From licking him, he moved Jae so that he was on his back, legs separated. Yunho settled between Jae's thighs and took him fully into his mouth.

Now he had a problem. Did he like sucking Jae more or licking and thrusting his tongue inside him? Yunho didn't care because he loved both. He sucked harder on Jae's moist cock, making sure that he lapped up every creamy pearl that shimmered on Jae's head. And here Yunho found a different flavor of Jae. It was lightly sour, like an just under ripe orange, with a hint of citrus aftertaste. Yunho greedily sucked harder wanting more of that wonderful flavor, wanted it to fill his mouth.

Jae was showing how much he loved it from the desperate upward thrust of his hips and his fingernails digging into Yunho’s scalp.

Yunho knew that Jae had as much experience in sex as he had, which was none, so it didn't come as a great surprise when Jae exploded in his mouth. Yunho sucked him until he was dry, before lifting up, hovering up over Jae's shocked expression. With his eyes wide, mouth gaping., Yunho knew that Jae had just had his first full blown orgasm, not given to himself by hand.

Yunho gave Jae a few minutes to recover before slowly raising his slender legs up, bearing his hole for better access for Yunho.

Lube smeared fingers found Jae's most secretive and now incredibly sensitive entrance.

Yunho commenced to slowly prep his boyfriend, with one finger becoming three. Pain faded to pleasure and Jae moaned out wanting more.

After Yunho made sure that Jaejoong was fully prepared to take him, he coated his cock and tapped at Jae's slicked hole with his head before slowly pushing his head in.

Yunho remembered having to breath in deeply and controlling himself to keep from thrusting fully inside his whimpering boyfriend. It had been so tight; Yunho could feel every single one of Jae's muscles contracting around him trying to push him out as he slowly inched forward.

Yunho massaged Jae's thighs, hips and ass trying to keep him relaxed as he gently rocked in him, not really moving but just rubbing. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jae's whimpers turned to moans and his hips rose and fell, encouraging Yunho to move his full length inside him.

Then the dam opened, it was like a tidal wave crashed over them. Jae's low moans becoming high cries of pleasure and want, Yunho pushing and pulling, his hands grasping pale lean hips to canter them up to meet his powerful thrust. It was more than either one of them could have dreamed of.

And being newbies, it didn't last to long, both reaching their fulfillment quickly; first Jaejoong and then Yunho. After wards they laid together, Yunho on top of Jae. Their breathing heavy, Jae's arms wrapped around Yunho’s as Yunho buried his face in Jae's sweat dampened neck.

"Oh wow!" Jaejoong gasped out, voice full of wonder, and Yunho laughed delighted that he could finally bring his boyfriend pleasure instead of pain.

Yunho groaned out as memories he always held dear brought him pain to his heart. He missed Jaejoong so much; his heart...no his soul grieved from the other man’s absence.

The picture in his hand tormented him, the happy look on Jae's face making a mockery of what he had lost.

His tears dripped down his chin as he continued to gaze at the picture and he knew that he was going to need someone to talk to so he could get over this hump of not knowing where Jaejoong or JiYool were.

Lying the picture beside him, he reached for his cell phone pushing the first number on his speed dial.

The voice that picked up at the other end was sleep laden, thick and a little scratchy and spoke before Yunho uttered a word.

"Yunho, I know this is you. You better have a good reason to be calling me at three-thirty in the morning. You know we both have to be on the other side of Seoul to open your new bank tomorrow."

"Sorry, Heechul. I just needed someone to talk to and I know that I can count on you to help me." Yunho mumbled into the phone, feeling slightly sorry that he called Heechul so early in the morning.

Yunho could hear Heechul take a deep breath, "You know, Hankyung doesn't like it when you call here like this. Just because you're my boss doesn't mean you can take advantage of me, Yunho."

"I don't take advantage of you and you should be happy that I'm your boss and not Chang Gunwoo." Yunho said as he laid back on his bed.

"Chang Gunwoo? Oh, you mean the guy that was your boss for what seemed like forever? He didn't seem that bad. Anyways, why did you call Yunho?" Heechul sighed as he climbed out of bed to go to the kitchen.

When there was no answer from Yunho, Heechul sighed again, he knew the answer.

"Jaejoong." And that was all he had to say before he heard sniffling from the other end of the line. Heechul rolled his eyes as he got a drink of orange juice from the fridge.

"Really Yunho, you call me this early because you’re crying about Jaejoong and JiYool? Didn't I tell you to not stop looking for them? Didn't I tell you to never give up? They are here man! I'm telling you, please stop feeling sorry for yourself and hire a different P.I.!" Heechul snapped out as he made his way back to his bed where his husband was waiting for him. He felt for Yunho, yes he did, but it was also Yunho's fault. He knew Yunho's history with Jaejoong and he couldn't blame Jae one bit for leaving and he knew that if someone didn't want to be found, then they won't unless accidentally stumbled upon.

"Chullie, I love him. I miss him so much. The hurt is so deep that it cuts so cleanly to the bone. It's not just him, it's JiYool also. I want the chance to get to know her and to be a father to her, is that to much to ask? Is Jae forgiving me and giving me a second chance to much to ask?" Yunho whispered to his friend.

"Yunho. No it's not too much, but Jae might think differently than I do. He may think that you have gone too far and that it's irreversible. My one advice to you is don’t stop looking for him, and when you do find him, because I think you will because you are that determined, come to him as a friend. Start over. Have him fall in love with you again and don't rush things." Heechul knew that Yunho needed someone that wouldn't lie to him and give him false hopes. He just hopes that he didn't do just that, give Yunho any false hopes.

Yunho closed his eyes, not feeling any better but also knowing that the both of them had to get up early the next morning for the opening of his new bank. Yunho couldn't be thankful enough for Heechul. Not only is he a good personal assistant and future V.P. of his bank but also his closest friend.

"Heechul, I love him." Yunho new he sounded pathetic even to his own ears. He was now desperate to find Jaejoong and Jiyool.

"I know you do Yunho but things may not go good when you do find him. Be patient, you will find him, just be prepared when you do. Things may not be the same. But for right now, I have to go. Hankyung is giving me the evil eye. Get some sleep Yunho. You have a big day tomorrow."

Yunho could take a hint and he knew that Heechul was tired of him calling him at odd hours and listening to him talk about how much he misses Jae and JiYool.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning. Need me to pick you up?" Yunho offered.

"No, Hankyung's going to drop me off and then pick me up tomorrow afternoon."

Yunho could hear Heechul yawn and decided to end the call.

"Bye Chullie." Yunho muttered after he heard Heechul's farewell, he hung up, placing the phone on his nightstand. He rolled over and closed his eyes as his memories took him away for the remainder of the night.

~*~

Yunho walked down the street, his body and mind tired after a day of rushing around his bank. His bank. He was now the proud owner of his own bank, something he worked hard for.

Yunho had went to look for some dinner before heading back to the office to do some last minute details before driving home.

It was late in the evening and his lunch had long ago worn off and his belly was letting him know about it.

Yunho wasn't all that familiar with this side of Seoul and was wondering about the best place to go to grab dinner. As he walked, the weather decided it wanted to be a pain as lightening cracked open the dark gray-blue of the clouds with loud banging following close after. A few seconds later rain splattered down, starting off softly before deciding it wanted to actually do something and became a heavy steady downpour drenching everything and everyone out in the open. Which also unfortunately meant Jung Yunho to.

Deciding to make a decision, Yunho ran for the nearest restaurant and shot through the door. Taking a minute to compose himself, Yunho shook the rain water from his clothes and hair before looking for a table to sit down at.

Looking around the small restaurant he noticed that it wasn't so much a full fledged restaurant as much as a small cafe that served coffee and offered free Wi-Fi hook up.

Yunho took up the menu and noticed the name 'Little Bites' and when he saw the offerings he knew why the little cafe was named that. Everything on the menu was served in small single servings; slices of this, squares of that and all in small portions.

As the thunder boomed outside and Yunho looked over the menu, he couldn't help but think that this was the kind of restaurant that Jae had wanted to open. Someplace that had a little class but was laid back. As Yunho looked around he saw a lot of the clientele was of the college sect. The younger people were laid back on the leather couches with huge cups of cappuccino, latte or hot chocolate; some with small plates of quiche, brownies, or biscotti.

Yunho shrugged off his jacket and loosened his tie as he continued to look around at the interior of the cozy room. His attention jerked back when a waiter stepped over to him.

After placing his order, he leaned back and once again thought of Jaejoong and JiYool until the door to the cafe opened and in ran a little girl of around eight yelling out for her appa.

Yunho watched the little girl as she jumped on the counter just as the door leading to the back of the little restaurant open and a smiling man came walking out with a tray of what looked like crispy shrimp cakes.

The man placed the tray in the display counter before turning his attention to the little girl.

As the man turned Yunho's breath caught. Quickly he brought the menu up to cover his face as he watched his ex-wife hug the little girl that Yunho now knew was JiYool.

As Yunho watched Jaejoong and JiYool hug, a woman walked up to the two. Yunho's eyes narrowed as he watched this woman slide her arms around Jaejoong, giving him what he would call a loving hug before pulling back and smiling up at Jaejoong.

Yunho hissed through his teeth as Jaejoong lowered his head and placed a kiss on this girl’s cheek and she giggled.

He watched as JiYool pulled on her arm and pointed to her cheek causing the woman to laugh and bend down bestowing a kiss on her cheek also.

Who was this woman and why was she kissing and hugging Jaejoong like she was his special person? Why was Jaejoong letting this girl show such affection and why was he returning the actions like he was in love with her.

Yunho watched as the girl and Jaejoong exchanged a few words before she kissed him lightly on the lips, hugging JiYool and then waving before she walked out of the cafe with a umbrella in hand.

Yunho did not like what this looked like.

Why would Jae be with this woman when he was gay?

Yunho didn't know, but he aimed to find out, and very soon. He was not losing Jaejoong and JiYool again. Not when he had just found them.

a/n: After so long, finally a chapter!  i hope you guys remeber this fic. Here we have a little of the past and Yunho's regret.
Yunho has found Jaejoong and JiYool. Is Yunho going to get a second chance? Who's the girl with Jaejoong and is she someone important to him?