Beast of the Matter chapter 30
beta-ed by moon1084
Jaejoong
The dull thump of the bass could be heard through the walls of the club office.
The constant hard beat soothed Jaejoong's wrecked nerves.
He crossed the room and sat on the leather couch, his eyes going to the door,
blinking as the door gently swung shut. He leaned his head back against the
couch and closed his weary eyes.
He had been asked why he didn't use his telepathy when Asneath had him bound.
The answer hadn't been that simple. He knew that Asneath would have not hesitated
to kill Yunho if she even suspected that he had thought of it, and he couldn't risk it,
couldn't risk Yunho’s life.
Even though now he couldn't see where it would have made a difference, Yunho has
made it quite clear that he wasn't forgiving Jae for what he had done.
Four months. It has been four long drawn out months since Yunho has left and it still
feels like it just happened. That would probably be because he still remembered him
leaving in vivid color.
He stepped into the shower feeling out of sorts, feeling like something wasn't quite right.
Having sex with Yunho had been the very last thing he had thought that the hybrid would
have wanted. Yet he did and it had felt wonderful. He was sure that Yunho was closer to
accepting the lifemate bond, but how wrong could he have possibly been?
Well, he had been very wrong.
He felt it. Yunho's leaving. He felt it with every bone in his body.
Not just Yunho leaving the bedroom, but him leaving the house. His presence fading more
and more with each step Yunho took away from him.
Jae hung his head, the water washing down over his head and shoulders with his blonde hair
plastering to his face and neck.
He didn't cry. He didn't scream, or beg some god for a second chance with Yunho. He knew
that all the begging in the world wouldn't bring the hybrid back to him, not until he wanted to
come back.
He felt though. His heart felt heavy in his chest. The small dull pain in his belly letting him
know that his lifemate wasn't near.
The feeling of not being complete was nearly overwhelming as he turned the water off and
stepped out of the shower. He dried off and started for the door to the bedroom.
His hand on the knob, Jae paused, he knew what he wouldn't find on the other side of the door.
No Yunho. No lifemate. No hybrid waiting for him.
Drawing in a deep breath, Jae opened the door, the pain in his belly getting worse as the further
Yunho walked away from him.
The room was shrouded in darkness, a kind of reflection of how his soul felt.
Instead of heading to Junsu's room for a comforting shoulder, he walked over to the bed. The cover
still thrown back, the sheets still rumpled from their previous lovemaking. Jae laid down in the now
chilled sheets, pulling the covers up to cover his shivering wet naked body, and snuggled down into
Yunho's pillow breathing in the hybrid’s own special scent.
That evening when he awoke, he was reminded almost instantly that Yunho was gone.
Sadness filled him to the very core, but Jae would not give in. There was still the chance that Yunho
would come back to him.
After taking in his blood, he walked outside to be alone. The stares of the others and the quick glances
from time to time were getting on his nerves.
Leaning back against a large tree in the back yard, he let out a deep breath. Looking up, he watched the
gray clouds roll in the even darker sky. No moon this night.
He heard footsteps approaching, and knew somehow that it was Yoochun.
Jae closed his eyes, "You were right, you know. I do love him. I just realized to late how much. How do I
show him how much? When will I be able to tell him? Will he come back to me?"
Jae turned to Yoochun, "Will he come back to me? Will he, Yoochun? Could he forget all about the lifemate
bond stuff and just come back? I don't have to bond with him. I can live with just being lovers if that's what
he wants. I just want him to come back." Jae muttered as he looked into the other’s eyes.
Jaejoong searched Yoochun's eyes hoping to find the answers that he wanted to see; needing to hear what
his heart was telling him, that Yunho would come back.
But Yoochun said nothing. His eyes looked down at Jaejoong with compassion, not giving Jae what he needed.
Yoochun still hadn't said anything and the longer they stayed silent the more Jae lost hope.
"Yoochun, please tell me he's coming back!" Jae pleaded with tears that he had refused to shed earlier, now
wet his cheeks.
He never wanted something so bad as to see Yunho walk through the backdoor of the house saying that all was
ok. That he hadn't left, would never leave him. But reality was cruel, it gave the harsh truth in the way Yoochun shifted uncomfortably; his eyes saying what he refused to tell the weeping vampire.
In the end all that Yoochun said was "I'm sorry Jae." Gently he hugged Jae and then quietly turned and walked
back to the house, leaving Jae to his sorrow.
Jaejoong's eyes shot open, the memory not fading from his mind like he hoped it would.
The pain in his heart was just as bad as when Yunho left, it hadn't dulled in the slightest.
The vampire leader sighed, his fingers tunneling through his thick blonde hair.
It has been awful, these last four months. Having to watch as one after another of Yunho's pack had turned;
and then on the very first full moons the couples disappearing from the house to complete the lifemate bond.
Jae had smiled and congratulated each and everyone while his heart broke further and further each time.
How he wanted that to be him and Yunho completing that link that would bind them together for eternity.
Secretly he envied the other vampires and their mates, begrudging the fact that they hadn't hesitated or ran away.
He had witnessed the bonding of the vampires and the werewolves and had wondered if it would ever be him.
Had wondered why it had to be him that fate had played her games with. Just when he knew what he felt for
Yunho, he was gone.
He laughed bitterly. Yeah fate was a bitch and he was getting the V.I.P treatment from her.
Jae had told himself that he wouldn't grow bitter over this, but it couldn't be helped. He loved the hybrid and
knew that Yunho would be the only one that he would ever love. He felt that that love had been thrown back
at him and been told never in your lifetime buddy. You were not made to love and be loved in return. And everytime
he would be bombarded with that sentiment, he would close his eyes and tell himself that yes he was made for
love and that he loved the stubborn were'.
But it felt like it has been so long. Four months and it felt like a lifetime. He hadn't seen Yunho once, hadn’t even
felt his presence; and he wondered again what the hybrid was doing.
Did Yunho have another, someone else filling his needs? Was there someone else touching him, kissing him,
letting Yunho fill them?
Jaejoong felt his stomach turn and told himself to stop torturing himself like this. He was no better in doing what
Yunho was doing. Wasn't he himself trying to find relief from the pain?
About one month after Yunho had left, Jae had reached his limit. The pain had been too much and he went to
the club looking; thinking that another guy could help ease his pain.
He had learned quickly though.
That first night as he went to mount the other guy, his stomach had rolled and Jae had turned nauseous. He hadn't
been able to touch the other person. His body reacted violently to Jae even trying to ease his pain with someone
other than Yunho.
He had tried a few more times after that at first time, thinking that it was just a fluke, but every time it ended with
him having the other to leave, he just hadn't been able to do it. He hadn't even been able to get it up with the last guy.
But, there had been one exception to this. One person that every time he came around Jae, Jae had felt a measure
of relief. No, this person was not a candidate to be the vampire's lifemate, in fact he really didn't know how to describe
the man, other than he didn't hurt when the other was around.
Needless to say, Jae was confused. Why would his body welcome this man's touch and not others? Even as Jae
contemplated on sleeping with him, he still wasn't Yunho. This man wouldn't be able to make him feel the way Yunho
made him feel. But the longer he was in pain, the more he thought of it.
It wasn't like he wanted to sleep with the guy, just that he wanted to not hurt anymore.
Just once wouldn't hurt, right? To be able to sleep. To be able to function like a normal vampire.
This guy wouldn't push him, he knew that as sure as he knew that he was a vampire; and it's not like Yunho
cares anyways who he sleeps with. For all he knows, Yunho has had a legion of lovers by now, and that very
thought hurt. It hurt bad.
Jae's musings came to a halt when the door to his private sanctuary slowly swung open and in walked that man;
the one person he could touch and it feel good.
Jaejoong swiftly came to his feet as the tall vampire lazily strolled in, the door shutting quietly behind him,
shutting out the curious faces of the vampires and their mates behind it.
Jae's fingers ran through his hair again, making sure that every strand was in place. The man before him was
a picture of perfection. Everything in place. His charcoal gray Armani suit and gray tie enhancing the mans
silver eyes. His pants and silk white shirt fitting him perfectly, his slacks pressed to a razor sharp edge. His
jacket only showcased his broad shoulders, and didn't hide the strength of his powerful built body.
Jae's eyes were drawn to his long hair, pulled back in a ponytail, the golden brown mane flowing down his back.
Jae's eyes moved to the beautifully sculpted face, high cheeks bones, full lips, bright eyes that were smiling at
him in amusement. No, Jae couldn't say anything bad about the man.
Jae bowed before his elder, "Dong Wook." He muttered in greeting. Jae lifted himself and watched as the man
walked over to him.
Dong Wook's first words causing him to gasp, "Still thinking of the hybrid, I see." Was said in a silky smooth voice.
Jae had forgotten this man's power to calm and control with his voice alone, besides being able to just glance at
a person to be able to tell what they are thinking. But, Dong Wook would never control him that way, at least he
hoped he wouldn't.
The closer Dong Wook got to him, the less pain he felt, and that reminded him again of what he had been thinking
of earlier.
Dong Wook tilted his head to the side, "Interesting Jae. If you need my help all you have to do is say it."
Jae gasped and turned away. There was no use in lying, Dong Wook knew the truth already, and if he had read
that part; were he was thinking of sleeping with him, then he would have read his reservations also.
Jae shuddered when he felt hands on his shoulders, turning him back around to face the other vampire.
The younger vampire lifted his eyes, and searched the silver eyes before him.
Could he?
Should he?
Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply. When suddenly he felt lips on his and the questions fled.
The pain, instantly gone.
Jae whimpered and opened his mouth to the seeking tongue, the strange flavor flooding his taste buds. Jae's
hands came up to grasp onto the jacket, clinging on.
As the kiss deepened, memories of kissing Yunho assailed his mind. The hot clashing of their lips and the
mating ritual of their tongues and Jae moaned louder, his body starting to think for itself, rubbed up against
the taller vampire.
Jae felt pressure between his legs, he was still thinking of Yunho and ground against the hand covering his cock.
He broke the kiss, leaning his head back, eyes still closed and moaned louder when the hand slid into his pants
to wrap around him.
Jaejoong thrust against the hand, not once thinking of the vampire doing the deed to him. His mind kept panting
out Yunho's name until the name escaped his lips in a heated whisper.
Jae opened his eyes to see Yunho, only to see Dong Wook. His eyes started stinging as he looked at the guy.
This wasn't Yunho, what was he doing? But, he didn't hurt, and it felt so good to be touched again.
Jae eyes drifted shut again, bringing his thoughts back to the were'. He wanted his Yunho back, he needed him
back with him.
While thinking Jae felt lips smoothing over his neck and leaned his head to the side more.
Yunho. Yunho.
He felt teeth grazing the sensitive skin.
Yunho. Yunho.
Jae felt the prick of sharp teeth.
Yunho. Yunho.
Then the long draw, as the vampire drank his blood.
Yunho. Yunho. Please!
Jae's breath was staggering in his chest, his face wet with tears that he had told himself that he would not shed.
His eyes snapped open, the vibrant purple glowing, his lips parted, and the very tips of his fangs visible behind
his upper lip.
Jae's hands came up to bury themselves in the thick light brown locks only to get tangled up in the bound mane.
Frustrated from many things, Jae ripped the band holding the older vampires hair out and threw it on the floor, then
submerged his fingers in the hair.
He wasn't going to stop, he couldn't stop. Not now. This was not about passion or lust it was about release, about
pain control. This was about Yunho.
Jae closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Dong Wook. His body, his soul filled with Yunho.
Yes, Dong Wook did not smell, taste, or feel like Yunho, but Jae could pretend.
He had a very good picture of Yunho, he could dredge up those memories of Yunho loving him.
Jae couldn't let this moment pass him, he had to take it while it was offered. There was no one other than Yunho who
could help him, and then there was this man. This ambiguity, this enigma that was before him, puzzled him more than
anything.
Jae's body yearned for relief, he had been a solitude figure for a while now, so alone in a house full of beings. He was
empty inside without Yunho beside him. Jae had isolated himself from the others, trying to lessen the contact with
the coven, the pain of being reminded of what he didn't have to much for him to take.
"Please. Please." Was whispered out mindlessly to the man. The man in his arms now not having a face or a name,
was not a breathing, living thing, only a fix to his problems.
Jae felt himself being led to the couch, then being laid down, his back coming in contact with the cool leather.
The vampire leader kept his mind blank, not thinking beyond what was happening to him. He felt the other vampire
settle between his legs, and Jae let out a loud moan their groins meeting.
Jaejoong felt the teeth leave his neck and then the swift swipe of a tongue as it laved over the skin of his neck,
healing the wound.
Then unwanted passion started to ride him, and he ceased to think about Yunho, about Dong Wook about anything.
The only thought was to quench this thirst in him.
Jae's body jerked when he felt the hand at his groin again, he couldn't take much more of the teasing so he tried to
switch positions with the man on top of him, tried to get on top, he felt the urgent need to be on top. This unreasonable
urgency to show his dominance to the other man.
Jae didn't know where this urgency was coming from, he had been just fine with being on the bottom. It just suddenly
came to mind, almost like it had been planted there. Jae glanced up at the man above him when he felt his hands on
his hips.
Dong Wook was looking down at him gently, as if he was about to break some bad news to him, and he did.
"Jae. I do not bottom." Dong Wook paused here to let Jae have some time to think about what he said.
Jae shook his head, "Please, Dong Wook. Just once please." Jae whimpered as Dong Wook slowly shook his head.
"I'm sorry vampire, but no is no."
Jae took a deep breath and thought why not, it's not like Yunho had to be the only one to enter him, even as he thought
this his body rebelled at the thought of Dong Wook doing this to him.
He shook his head. No, he needed this so he could stop hurting.
Jae looked into Dong Wook's eyes and nodded, "Ok."
Jaejoong, no.
Jae furrowed his eyebrows, and thought he was loosing his mind. He ignored the whispered voice and urged Dong Wook
on with his hands.
Dong Wook was trailing kisses down his neck when he heard the voice again,
Don't do this Jae. Think of me.
Jae shut his eyes tight, you're all I think of.
Jae, I thought you loved me. Came a despairing voice, the melancholy tone dripping into the fractured remains of Jae's
heart, like a hot wax, buring him and then cooling down to a stiff awareness that he wasn't the only one suffering.
I do love you.
Then why, why are you doing this?
Because I hurt, I need to feel something besides pain.
Please wait for me, Jae.
How long Yunho? How long do I have to wait for YOU to decide you want to be with me?
Not long. Not long Jae. Just please don't do this.
Then the voice was gone, and Jae knew he wouldn't be able to do it. As long as there was a chance that Yunho would
want him, he couldn't do this.
One hand flew down to the ones inside his pants, stopping the movement, as he pushed against the broad shoulders
with his other hand.
"Dong Wook, no." Jae pushed the vampire off him and he sat up, sitting next to the elder man.
"I'm sorry Dong Wook, I can't." Jae muttered as he turned his head to glance at the man.
Dong Wook grinned, "I knew you wouldn't be able to. I was sent to help you by the counsel, and it looks like maybe
it worked. I, as well as the other members knew that Yunho has been watching you, Jae. Has been the whole time,
you just haven't been aware or have even felt his presence. Doesn't matter though that you haven't felt him, he feels
you. He feels your pain, not like you do, but he does feel it. I also knew that you were accepting of me. But, alas, I
can't have you either, I'm in the same situation you are in. I'm waiting also. But know this, I can see Yunho. I can see
he's at his limit also. Not much longer Jae and you'll have what you want. In the mean time if you need me all you have
to do is say my name and I'll be here. I'm a friend and will always be for you."
Jae bit his lip as he studied the other guy, he was glad that he had stopped, but one thing still lingered in the back of
his mind, "Would you have gone all the way? You are waiting for someone, so you feel like I do, but, could you have
done it?"
Dong Wook negativitly shook his head, "No. I was about to stop. I'm glad you did though. I just wanted Yunho to
make himself known to you. To let you know he is still there even if you can't see him. He does care, I think he
loves you, but he is one incredibly mule headed stubborn man. It takes a lot to break him and you did it. You have
broken him, now all he has to do is to admit it like you did."
Dong Wook stood from the couch, "I have to go, more work to do. I'll see you later."
And with that Jae watched as the elder vampire vanished into thin air, and Jae felt a little envious of that certain ability.
Jae looked around and signed, he needed to get out. Standing he walked to the closet to grab his gear and headed
out. Quickly he checked to see if he had his dagger. He took to wearing it when Yunho left, he was strong but
somehow felt safer with it on him.
As he passed the bar he nodded to Junsu letting the other know he was leaving for a bit. Junsu nodded back saying
he understood and went back to serving the thirsty crowd.
Jae donned the gear and straddled his bike. He sat there, reminiscing about riding behind Yunho. He had loved holding
onto Yunho, feeling the wind rush by as they sped down the road. He missed it, he missed everything.
The bike started with a roar and he maneuvered the bike down the street, no unparticular destination in mind, just riding.
He didn't know how long he rode, but he parked beside the river and got off, stripping off his gear. He set his helmet
and gloves on the bike, and took off down to the river to think about Yunho and himself.
Jae walked a while, before he heard the rustle of leaves behind him. He turned and let out a string of curses.
"Now now. You are not supposed to use that kind of language in front of a lady."
Jae glared at the female vampire and sneered.
"Lady? I see no lady here. Only a murderer." Jae spat at Asneath.
Jae felt his stomach clench as the woman came closer to him. He had been building his mental barrier so that what
happened last time would not be repeated. He made sure that the female would not control him again.
"Oh, you break my heart. And here I thought we could be friends." Asneath walked as she talked, her voice deceptively
soft. Jae would not be fooled, he knew this woman now, no mistake made twice by him, not where she was concerned.
"We could have been more than friends. We could have been great together. Your touch sets me on fire, feels so good.
I could almost feel you inside me."
Jae gagged as she said this. Be inside of her? He didn't think so. That very notion was disgusting to him, and he shuddered.
"We could never be like that. I find you absolutely tasteless and disgusting." Jae snapped out, his eyes narrowing as
Asneath walked around him, his senses on high alert, he would not misjudge this cold blooded woman. His head turned
as he watched her, his eyes taking in her every movement.
She stopped right behind him and he hissed as he felt her fingernails scratch across his shoulders. He felt her body's
heat as she pressed herself against him.
Jae felt her breath against his neck and sprang forward to get away from her.
He spun around to find her lips twisted in an evil smile.
"So, it's to be that way then? That's sad. I had such plans for us." Asneath slowly walked forward, her long gauzy
skirt grazing the ground as she went.
Suddenly in her hand was a long knife, and she lunged forward.
Jae sidestepped the attacking female and spun around, his own hand jerking the dagger from his ankle in seconds.
His eyes turned to a raging purple and his teeth slipped from his gums as his anger grew in leaps and bounds.
He needed no reminder that it was her that had almost killed his lifemate, and he planned on killing her for retribution
of his lover. She would meet her death this night.
Asneath smirked, "So the fight is on." It wasn't a question, but Jae answered anyways,
"So it seems." He snapped out, as he spread his legs shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eager to get this
on, he was looking forward to a good fight.
Jae anticipated her move, so when she leaped into the air and floated, Jae mimicked her move, then surged forward in
a flash of purple light and attacked.
Asneath lunged towards him, her lime green light clashing with his purple, just as the two bodies came at each other.
The sky lit up with the force of their strikes and counter attacks at each other, their movements swift and hard to separate.
It was almost like lightening striking in the air as the two battled.
Then the two parted, Jae crouched on the ground on one bended knee and he looked up at the woman through his eyelashes,
his breathing coming quick.
He rested there as he took in his wounds. His arms were cut and so was one of his legs. He looked at Asneath
and saw her stomach cut and a slash near her throat.
Then just as quick he was back up and attacking her again, their bodies were swirling around each other in a bright ball,
each lashing out at the other, only to spring apart.
Still in the air, they stared each other down. The woman was injured but then so was he. He was determined to kill
this female, so he knew he had to quiet playing around and finish her off.
They came at each other again, this time Jae misjudged her and felt her dagger slice through his neck, and he fell to
the ground with a loud thud, his body bouncing once before he settled on his side.
The wound was bad, his neck had nearly been cut into, just a little more and he would have been as good as dead.
He was loosing a lot of blood and he felt himself grow faint and his nanos not being able to work quick enough to fix him.
He opened his eyes and saw the hem of the woman’s skirt and feet as she gently landed on the ground and slowly
walked over to him.
She kneeled down beside him and stroked his hair.
"It's such a shame. I would have loved to keep you, but now you have to die."
Jae closed his eyes, too weak to move and waited for death to claim him.
Just as he was sure she was laying the knives edge to the little bit of flesh holding his head on, he saw through half
closed eyes as a figure landed on the ground beside him.
He lifted his eyes more and gasped, it was....
"Yunho..." He managed to whisper before blackness took him under.
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a/n
so I went back to see how long it had been since i've update this fic and almost had a heart attack O.O
May 29th guys. 3 effing months! I couldn't believe it. I'm super sorry for keeping you waiting for this fic.
I'll try and not take that long to update again. -.- this puts me in a really pissy mood )=