In Which The End of the World Dawns Anew
And now it is 2012, the year in which it is predicted that the world will end because the Mayan's forgot to go buy a new calendar for the rest of the millennium.
Looking back at the past year, I realized that I spent most of the entire year stressed out by work. Oh, there were a few months around April and May where I wasn't. I was bored instead. So that's maybe a quarter of the year not spent significantly stressed? Still, despite that, this year has not been a waste. I accomplished a lot and I'm proud of myself.
Health: Surprisingly, health has been fine all year. Considering I've spent the entire year stressed, I think I'm damn lucky. Haven't even had much in the way of colds (though I'm fighting one now) and only a few gallbladder attacks. Could do to drop a few pounds, but that's pretty normal right around the holidays.
For 2012: However, because I'm paranoid and worried my health will crash as soon as I am not on the run from work, I'll be getting COBRA through my work to cover my butt. I also need to keep walking a part of my daily routine even while unemployed. Long walks in the park? Sounds awesome.
Wealth: For actual money, this went well. I'm out of debt, the money larders are reasonably well stocked. This is what's letting me quit my job. Quitting was not an easy decision. I've been toying with it since July. ...Actually, I've been toying with quitting since November 2010 when I did my Nano and realized it was hard to get more than a thousand words written a night. It crystallized into an actual plausible thing I might do in January when everything exploded in my face at work. So why did it take me a year to get around to actually quitting? Lots of reasons. The finances were one, being in debt makes being unemployed a hell of a lot scarier. Another reason is because I hate job hunting. I've never really liked nine to five jobs, but I hate looking for them even more. With the economy in the shitter, job hunting is not just stressful, it's cut throat. And the final big reason is that for all I hate the job and it stresses me out, I like the people I work with and the company's objective and I didn't want to leave them hanging. Since I quit, everyone's been very understanding and supportive. Burn out is common in social work and non profits and the people I work with really do get that and really do want me to be happy. Even if my quitting isn't entirely convenient for them. So while the job has burnt me out, I don't regret the work done and neither does my pocket book.
For 2012: So now, of course, I have to figure out where my income is coming from for 2012. I want to just say fuck nine to five work entirely and get my writing off the ground, but I'm still not quite there yet. Even if I'm not, though, I want to step up the writing and spend some time getting it to professional level. I'll be taking a month or two off of working for job hunting and writing, with an emphasis on the writing. After that, well, unless the writing flies like an eagle through the air and to the publisher, I'll need to get a job. However, I am thinking of looking for something part time, maybe thirty hours a week. Or alternatively, trying out some temp work. We'll see what comes up for jobs. Quitting and not rushing into job hunting is terrifying, I must say. I have to keep reminding myself that I am, in fact, actually burnt out and this is not a convenient lie I'm telling work. I need some time off and I have the resources to take it. MUST. KEEP. TELLING. SELF. THIS.
Love: Social life was a complete and utter fail in 2011. Something had to get sacrificed to give me enough time to survive work and get writing done and the social life was it. I'm down to a handful of close friends, who are wonderful and I would not trade for anything. But it's a very small social circle, I admit it. It was also a rough year for my family, some of them having unexpected problems/expenses and some health issues. Still, everyone's getting by, which is as good as can be expected.
For 2012: I hope to see an improvement in this category next year. But that is a hope, not an objective. Other categories continue to have priority. Some day, some day I'll be able to have hobbies and a social life again...
Prosperity: Despite everything, it's been a damn good year on the writing front. www.750word.com has been a boon. Best site I ever found. It's kept me writing regularly and done a huge amount for writer's guilt. 750 words is a great amount to get every night. Enough that I don't sit there and go "I should be writing more!" but a small enough amount that I can complete it every night despite working all day. Not that it's always been easy to do my 750, but it's kept me prodding stories and writing and I feel like I've made a lot of progress this year. I wrote a novel this year! I edited half a novel! I wrote half of another novel! Holy shit do I still have a lot more to do. The biggest problem I've been running into is finding the time and energy to do editing. Churning out the first drafts is something I can do with 750, but editing takes more focus and energy than I necessarily feel I have at the end of a long day. Here are the major projects I'm working on:
Yu's Story: Halfway through the first major edit. I put a lot of time into this one this summer, but only got about halfway done. Honestly, I'm losing faith in this story. There are things I adore and love about this story. Scenes, characters, themes. And there's a lot of it that's just not at all what I want it to be. I'm getting close to the point of chalking this up to being the novel I learned how to write a novel with and tucking it in the metaphorical desk drawer for a while. But with the amount of time I've poured into this one, I want to at least finish my first edit/re-write and then get some feed back on it. Because I can be ridiculously hard on my writing, especially at the stage I'm in. By the end of 2012, I want to know whether this is a book or an idea to shelve for later.
Trask's Story: This is the novel I wrote this year. It needs some very heavy over haul. Not of the characters, but the plot. And honestly, it needs about 20k more words. Did you know that most publishes won't even sneeze at anything under 70k and really prefer at least 80k? These are the kinds of fascinating details that make me face palm when I blaze through 60k of novel. However, I think this one's got a lot of potential. I've got a lot of room to expand on, both for world and plot, so finding another 20k of words will not be a problem. The plot is a little tricky, as this is a bit of a noir styled novel, so I have to do it right. And it's definitely not there on this first draft. But I think it's fixable and I think I can produce something very fun. I just need to find the time and energy to start editing. But that's what quitting my job is for.
The Cat That Wouldn't Die: This is the one I wrote for Nano. Which I went into with nearly 25k already written before November even winked at me. It's currently about halfway written. I am... very hopeful about this one at this point. I am so hopeful that it in fact kind of terrifies me. Actually, another writer pretty much summed up my entire everything on that feeling here here. That, man. That is where I am with this novel. I will keep working on it. I will finish it this year. I will... do something with it after it's done.
For 2012: My goal for 2012 is to get something to the point where I can start submitting it to agents and publishers. My goal is to actually start submitting. I am close, very close to this point. It's time to step it up and chase the dream for real now.
Oh, and I'd like to learn how to write short stories. That's a secondary goal, but submitting short stories to publishers does count towards the goal of submitting.
Resolutions: I actually have one this year, and it's simply to do more 'things' this year. A piece of advice I picked up in Seattle, from the mouth of Connie Willis is to get out and do things. This is the feed and inspiration for stories and it adds layers to writing that make stories great.
'Things' is a wide spectrum of stuff, from going to shows and concerts and movies to traveling to taking walks to trying escargot. Not that I necessarily plan to do the last this year, but who the hell knows? Maybe I will...
Anyway, that's my year end babble. Now I leave with well wishes for everyone for 2012.
May it be a year of progress, of improvement, and of the world ending in the way that it is reborn as something better.
Looking back at the past year, I realized that I spent most of the entire year stressed out by work. Oh, there were a few months around April and May where I wasn't. I was bored instead. So that's maybe a quarter of the year not spent significantly stressed? Still, despite that, this year has not been a waste. I accomplished a lot and I'm proud of myself.
Health: Surprisingly, health has been fine all year. Considering I've spent the entire year stressed, I think I'm damn lucky. Haven't even had much in the way of colds (though I'm fighting one now) and only a few gallbladder attacks. Could do to drop a few pounds, but that's pretty normal right around the holidays.
For 2012: However, because I'm paranoid and worried my health will crash as soon as I am not on the run from work, I'll be getting COBRA through my work to cover my butt. I also need to keep walking a part of my daily routine even while unemployed. Long walks in the park? Sounds awesome.
Wealth: For actual money, this went well. I'm out of debt, the money larders are reasonably well stocked. This is what's letting me quit my job. Quitting was not an easy decision. I've been toying with it since July. ...Actually, I've been toying with quitting since November 2010 when I did my Nano and realized it was hard to get more than a thousand words written a night. It crystallized into an actual plausible thing I might do in January when everything exploded in my face at work. So why did it take me a year to get around to actually quitting? Lots of reasons. The finances were one, being in debt makes being unemployed a hell of a lot scarier. Another reason is because I hate job hunting. I've never really liked nine to five jobs, but I hate looking for them even more. With the economy in the shitter, job hunting is not just stressful, it's cut throat. And the final big reason is that for all I hate the job and it stresses me out, I like the people I work with and the company's objective and I didn't want to leave them hanging. Since I quit, everyone's been very understanding and supportive. Burn out is common in social work and non profits and the people I work with really do get that and really do want me to be happy. Even if my quitting isn't entirely convenient for them. So while the job has burnt me out, I don't regret the work done and neither does my pocket book.
For 2012: So now, of course, I have to figure out where my income is coming from for 2012. I want to just say fuck nine to five work entirely and get my writing off the ground, but I'm still not quite there yet. Even if I'm not, though, I want to step up the writing and spend some time getting it to professional level. I'll be taking a month or two off of working for job hunting and writing, with an emphasis on the writing. After that, well, unless the writing flies like an eagle through the air and to the publisher, I'll need to get a job. However, I am thinking of looking for something part time, maybe thirty hours a week. Or alternatively, trying out some temp work. We'll see what comes up for jobs. Quitting and not rushing into job hunting is terrifying, I must say. I have to keep reminding myself that I am, in fact, actually burnt out and this is not a convenient lie I'm telling work. I need some time off and I have the resources to take it. MUST. KEEP. TELLING. SELF. THIS.
Love: Social life was a complete and utter fail in 2011. Something had to get sacrificed to give me enough time to survive work and get writing done and the social life was it. I'm down to a handful of close friends, who are wonderful and I would not trade for anything. But it's a very small social circle, I admit it. It was also a rough year for my family, some of them having unexpected problems/expenses and some health issues. Still, everyone's getting by, which is as good as can be expected.
For 2012: I hope to see an improvement in this category next year. But that is a hope, not an objective. Other categories continue to have priority. Some day, some day I'll be able to have hobbies and a social life again...
Prosperity: Despite everything, it's been a damn good year on the writing front. www.750word.com has been a boon. Best site I ever found. It's kept me writing regularly and done a huge amount for writer's guilt. 750 words is a great amount to get every night. Enough that I don't sit there and go "I should be writing more!" but a small enough amount that I can complete it every night despite working all day. Not that it's always been easy to do my 750, but it's kept me prodding stories and writing and I feel like I've made a lot of progress this year. I wrote a novel this year! I edited half a novel! I wrote half of another novel! Holy shit do I still have a lot more to do. The biggest problem I've been running into is finding the time and energy to do editing. Churning out the first drafts is something I can do with 750, but editing takes more focus and energy than I necessarily feel I have at the end of a long day. Here are the major projects I'm working on:
Yu's Story: Halfway through the first major edit. I put a lot of time into this one this summer, but only got about halfway done. Honestly, I'm losing faith in this story. There are things I adore and love about this story. Scenes, characters, themes. And there's a lot of it that's just not at all what I want it to be. I'm getting close to the point of chalking this up to being the novel I learned how to write a novel with and tucking it in the metaphorical desk drawer for a while. But with the amount of time I've poured into this one, I want to at least finish my first edit/re-write and then get some feed back on it. Because I can be ridiculously hard on my writing, especially at the stage I'm in. By the end of 2012, I want to know whether this is a book or an idea to shelve for later.
Trask's Story: This is the novel I wrote this year. It needs some very heavy over haul. Not of the characters, but the plot. And honestly, it needs about 20k more words. Did you know that most publishes won't even sneeze at anything under 70k and really prefer at least 80k? These are the kinds of fascinating details that make me face palm when I blaze through 60k of novel. However, I think this one's got a lot of potential. I've got a lot of room to expand on, both for world and plot, so finding another 20k of words will not be a problem. The plot is a little tricky, as this is a bit of a noir styled novel, so I have to do it right. And it's definitely not there on this first draft. But I think it's fixable and I think I can produce something very fun. I just need to find the time and energy to start editing. But that's what quitting my job is for.
The Cat That Wouldn't Die: This is the one I wrote for Nano. Which I went into with nearly 25k already written before November even winked at me. It's currently about halfway written. I am... very hopeful about this one at this point. I am so hopeful that it in fact kind of terrifies me. Actually, another writer pretty much summed up my entire everything on that feeling here here. That, man. That is where I am with this novel. I will keep working on it. I will finish it this year. I will... do something with it after it's done.
For 2012: My goal for 2012 is to get something to the point where I can start submitting it to agents and publishers. My goal is to actually start submitting. I am close, very close to this point. It's time to step it up and chase the dream for real now.
Oh, and I'd like to learn how to write short stories. That's a secondary goal, but submitting short stories to publishers does count towards the goal of submitting.
Resolutions: I actually have one this year, and it's simply to do more 'things' this year. A piece of advice I picked up in Seattle, from the mouth of Connie Willis is to get out and do things. This is the feed and inspiration for stories and it adds layers to writing that make stories great.
'Things' is a wide spectrum of stuff, from going to shows and concerts and movies to traveling to taking walks to trying escargot. Not that I necessarily plan to do the last this year, but who the hell knows? Maybe I will...
Anyway, that's my year end babble. Now I leave with well wishes for everyone for 2012.
May it be a year of progress, of improvement, and of the world ending in the way that it is reborn as something better.