Prenups: In which you learn that I am a lawyer and an accountant and not a "romantic"
You know what I want. A romance where a prenup isn't an evil thing used to call someone a gold digger and that isn't torn up to prove the greatness of their love. Or where the partner signs away any rights to the partner's assets to prove that s/he really does love the partner, not the money. I want one where, you know, maybe to create a stronger relationship, they sit down together and talk candidly about their assets and liabilities and develop a prenup that protects both of them and ensures that they are each treated fairly if things fall apart or one of them dies.
Because
A) Prenups aren't just about divorces, they also help with estate planning in the event of a death, because marriage or no, when we are talking about large assets, people are going to fight the spouse for every cent. Or if you have heirlooms you want to make sure stay in the family.
B) If you had a previous marriage with children, this is a way to ensure that the children from a prior marriage don't get the short stick. I know we all want to think the best of our partners, but stuff happens. Prenups prevent emotion from interfering with equity.
C) If you are in a business partnership and don't have a prenup, your spouse becomes a partner with power over the business (even if s/he has no experience) when you die, and if you blame the partners for not wanting that, you are a stupid business person.
D) Prenups can be used to ensure equitable division of assets in a divorce, so that you plan this when you like each other rather than spending thousands of dollars sorting things out when you hate each other, trying to use assets as a weapon.
E) You might think it's romantic now to say you don't want your partners money in a divorce, but if you do get divorced and end up with nothing, you are going to be real pissed that your investment in your marriage and support of your partner is treated as worthless even though you think that that support helped create some of those assets. Or you don't get stuck with some debts you can't pay that you didn't even know that your partner had incurred.
Whenever I see these big dramatic, "romantic" moments, in which the rich partner tells his family where they stick their prenup and the poor one says, "Oh, Love of my Life, Light of my World, I would have signed; I don't care about your money; I just want us to be in loooooove," all I can think is that these characters are stupid and will be sorry later.
Because
A) Prenups aren't just about divorces, they also help with estate planning in the event of a death, because marriage or no, when we are talking about large assets, people are going to fight the spouse for every cent. Or if you have heirlooms you want to make sure stay in the family.
B) If you had a previous marriage with children, this is a way to ensure that the children from a prior marriage don't get the short stick. I know we all want to think the best of our partners, but stuff happens. Prenups prevent emotion from interfering with equity.
C) If you are in a business partnership and don't have a prenup, your spouse becomes a partner with power over the business (even if s/he has no experience) when you die, and if you blame the partners for not wanting that, you are a stupid business person.
D) Prenups can be used to ensure equitable division of assets in a divorce, so that you plan this when you like each other rather than spending thousands of dollars sorting things out when you hate each other, trying to use assets as a weapon.
E) You might think it's romantic now to say you don't want your partners money in a divorce, but if you do get divorced and end up with nothing, you are going to be real pissed that your investment in your marriage and support of your partner is treated as worthless even though you think that that support helped create some of those assets. Or you don't get stuck with some debts you can't pay that you didn't even know that your partner had incurred.
Whenever I see these big dramatic, "romantic" moments, in which the rich partner tells his family where they stick their prenup and the poor one says, "Oh, Love of my Life, Light of my World, I would have signed; I don't care about your money; I just want us to be in loooooove," all I can think is that these characters are stupid and will be sorry later.