The Immutable Laws of Fanfiction

[lunardreamed]

Immutable Laws of Fanfiction

1. Angst is a primary staple.
   
2. Porn is also important.
   
3. Humor balances things out to keep you from being suicidally depressed or a nymphomaniac.
   
4. Crack!fiction is an acquired taste.
   
5. Subtext: mass delusions of the fan world.
   
6. Slash: Removal of the complications of gender.
   
7. Hurt/Comfort: You always hurt the ones you love. Author's love to beat up on their favorite characters. This way they can cuddle them when the hurt is done.
   
8. The toughest characters will be woobiefied. Authors see them as great, big, angry grizzly bears with soft, snugly fur.
   
9. Godawful mediocre shows produce great fanfiction.
   
10. Canon is in the eye of the beholder.
    
11. Spoilers are like peanuts. Some people like them, some don't notice them, and some are deathly allergic. And they are hiding everywhere.
    
12. Mainstream porn sucks. NC-17 fanfiction is hot!
    
13. It's only kinky the first time.
    
14. A good author can overcome even your squickiest squicks.
    
15. A bad author will make you want to kill yourself.
    
16. Mary Sue is the black-hole of fanfiction. She warps the whole universe around her.
    
17. Canon Sue and Marty Stu are not acceptable alternatives to Mary Sue.
    
18. Beta's make good fanfiction great. Grammar and spelling make bad fiction comprehensible.
    
19. Never trust a WIP. It actually stands for Waiting In Perpetuity.
    
20. Nothing is immutable in fandom.
    

I would love any more ideas.