(no subject)
A twist on the old question "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" -- "What would you do if you didn't have to worry about money?"
I haven't the faintest clue for a good answer to the first question (my best answer is to find the perfect guy for me, though not in the sense of the ideal man but rather the most apropos male), but the second...
I verbalized it for the first time today; I haven't wanted to forever because saying it makes it real makes the pain real makes life meaningless because there is no point no way no out, much less any sense of reality strong desire faith need.
I'm so sick of crying. I really, truly am. I'm sick of being stressed out, I'm sick of feeling unwanted, I'm sick of the games at work and I'm sick of the fucking double standard my parents have for me and my brother.
I keep finding myself desperately looking more and more to the lottery, which is sheer stupidity, and money thrown down the toilet.
I wonder what it'd be like.
I haven't the faintest clue for a good answer to the first question (my best answer is to find the perfect guy for me, though not in the sense of the ideal man but rather the most apropos male), but the second...
I verbalized it for the first time today; I haven't wanted to forever because saying it makes it real makes the pain real makes life meaningless because there is no point no way no out, much less any sense of reality strong desire faith need.
I'm so sick of crying. I really, truly am. I'm sick of being stressed out, I'm sick of feeling unwanted, I'm sick of the games at work and I'm sick of the fucking double standard my parents have for me and my brother.
I keep finding myself desperately looking more and more to the lottery, which is sheer stupidity, and money thrown down the toilet.
I wonder what it'd be like.