I changed my default icon a few days ago. It's from 'Moon Phase,' a cute and odd vampire anime.
I want classes to start and for my suitemates to move in. I'm lonely, and I don't know anyone in the building. And I'm not the best at making social advances, and no one's really here anyway...*sigh* And my life has no structure without classes. My work schedule is really not that taxing, so I'm left with tons of free time and I'm floundering. I should be writing, or drawing, or unpacking. But there's this massive expanse of free time and so many little things to do, that I'm just not motivated.
The lesson to be learned here is: Lillian would be a poor stay-at-home-writer. Lillian needs deadlines and people bearing down on her.
And Lillian enjoys speaking in the third person.
So today, I want to pimp out two online comic artists I love and adore and hate because they're both younger than me: Youkai Yume, a prolific fanartist and fanfic writer and four years my junior, which makes me weep in shame; and dhio, who is the incredibly talented and well-trained creator of Fallen, and one year my junior, at an art school.
I'm finding myself wondering what would have happened if I'd been more firm in wanting to apply to an art school or art program. Would I have accomplished anything? I'm becoming increasingly frantic about my lack of solid accomplishments, which I know logically is silly because I'm only 21, and which I know is devastating, because I'm already 21. And I fear starting new projects because of my apparent inability to finish any of them, which is a pathetic waste of time all around.
I'm also finding myself wanting to do the following this semester in order of priority:
* work two part time jobs successfully and without burning out. I need the money. (As always.)
* attempt to finish a minimum of one page of the comic per week; each page only takes me about 4 ~ 6 hours.
* finish off that evil and Mary-Sue-ish Labyrinth fic for the sake of finishing something I've started for once in my life. One silly short chapter left. Yay.
* do some Kagome/Sesshoumaru doujinshi --damn it, my pride is wounded. And I don't have any ideas. I've been brainstorming, but nothing's coming up.
* ban Todd Eaton from the NYU Pagans listserve; I am so sick of the spam.
* finish at least one of the many original fiction ideas bouncing around in my head, regardless of the decreasing quality of my writing due to my fixation on the potential (and pragmatically dubious) fiscal benefits of being published.
* start an IY fic exploring polyamory with plot, preferably with long chapters and weekly updates. Yay for threesomes!
* start an IY fic exploring Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's, er, intense sibling rivalry (I suppose trying to kill each other counts, right?) against the backdrop of Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship.
* Start a Tea x Yami Bakura fic, maybe crossed with HP. I admit, I'm a fan of whatever that ship is called, and I've enjoyed Yugioh/HP crossovers, though I'm getting tired of always reading about Yuugi, Marik, and Bakura being the only ones to get transplanted.
* Take up the meditative sport of knitting again.
* Lose ten pounds. (See, I'm becoming more realistic. Last time it was 25 pounds, and it didn't happen.)
* learn to cook things other than variations on pasta. Dear god, please let me learn to cook something else that's equally cheap.
Thursday evenings I'm dedicating entirely to Pagans Club and Sci-fi Club. I also have an open invite to the Anime Club, which I may choose to accept at some point. Thursdays are traditionally kick-back-and-chill days at NYU, though most choose to drink themselves silly to relax. I will hang out in clubs of non-committal fun, albeit from a quiet corner where my interaction with people can be minimized.
Speaking of Pagans...black_cats's mod announcements are more than two weeks overdue at this point, I think. Which is ridiculous and just another reason I think the 'maintainer' should step down --she clearly has no time for it, despite whatever her desire for power may tell her otherwise.
I've also created an account at deviantArt, because I do want critical feedback on the comic. Minor drawing peeve: most people's mediocre lineart appears fabulous when color is used. I can't tell you how many times I've picked up and purchased a plastic shrink-wrapped manga with a pretty cover (for me, the drawings are just as important as the plot, which is why I will never be a fan of One Piece) and ripped it open only to discover mediocre/bad lineart inside. This annoys me and for some reason I feel it's highly deceptive and sneaky --the art isn't actually that good, it's just being dressed up by pretty coloring, which feels like false advertising. Or likely I'm just bitter because I suck at color theory and color design.
The lesson to be learned here is: Lillian would be a poor stay-at-home-writer. Lillian needs deadlines and people bearing down on her.
And Lillian enjoys speaking in the third person.
So today, I want to pimp out two online comic artists I love and adore and hate because they're both younger than me: Youkai Yume, a prolific fanartist and fanfic writer and four years my junior, which makes me weep in shame; and dhio, who is the incredibly talented and well-trained creator of Fallen, and one year my junior, at an art school.
I'm finding myself wondering what would have happened if I'd been more firm in wanting to apply to an art school or art program. Would I have accomplished anything? I'm becoming increasingly frantic about my lack of solid accomplishments, which I know logically is silly because I'm only 21, and which I know is devastating, because I'm already 21. And I fear starting new projects because of my apparent inability to finish any of them, which is a pathetic waste of time all around.
I'm also finding myself wanting to do the following this semester in order of priority:
* work two part time jobs successfully and without burning out. I need the money. (As always.)
* attempt to finish a minimum of one page of the comic per week; each page only takes me about 4 ~ 6 hours.
* finish off that evil and Mary-Sue-ish Labyrinth fic for the sake of finishing something I've started for once in my life. One silly short chapter left. Yay.
* do some Kagome/Sesshoumaru doujinshi --damn it, my pride is wounded. And I don't have any ideas. I've been brainstorming, but nothing's coming up.
* ban Todd Eaton from the NYU Pagans listserve; I am so sick of the spam.
* finish at least one of the many original fiction ideas bouncing around in my head, regardless of the decreasing quality of my writing due to my fixation on the potential (and pragmatically dubious) fiscal benefits of being published.
* start an IY fic exploring polyamory with plot, preferably with long chapters and weekly updates. Yay for threesomes!
* start an IY fic exploring Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's, er, intense sibling rivalry (I suppose trying to kill each other counts, right?) against the backdrop of Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship.
* Start a Tea x Yami Bakura fic, maybe crossed with HP. I admit, I'm a fan of whatever that ship is called, and I've enjoyed Yugioh/HP crossovers, though I'm getting tired of always reading about Yuugi, Marik, and Bakura being the only ones to get transplanted.
* Take up the meditative sport of knitting again.
* Lose ten pounds. (See, I'm becoming more realistic. Last time it was 25 pounds, and it didn't happen.)
* learn to cook things other than variations on pasta. Dear god, please let me learn to cook something else that's equally cheap.
Thursday evenings I'm dedicating entirely to Pagans Club and Sci-fi Club. I also have an open invite to the Anime Club, which I may choose to accept at some point. Thursdays are traditionally kick-back-and-chill days at NYU, though most choose to drink themselves silly to relax. I will hang out in clubs of non-committal fun, albeit from a quiet corner where my interaction with people can be minimized.
Speaking of Pagans...black_cats's mod announcements are more than two weeks overdue at this point, I think. Which is ridiculous and just another reason I think the 'maintainer' should step down --she clearly has no time for it, despite whatever her desire for power may tell her otherwise.
I've also created an account at deviantArt, because I do want critical feedback on the comic. Minor drawing peeve: most people's mediocre lineart appears fabulous when color is used. I can't tell you how many times I've picked up and purchased a plastic shrink-wrapped manga with a pretty cover (for me, the drawings are just as important as the plot, which is why I will never be a fan of One Piece) and ripped it open only to discover mediocre/bad lineart inside. This annoys me and for some reason I feel it's highly deceptive and sneaky --the art isn't actually that good, it's just being dressed up by pretty coloring, which feels like false advertising. Or likely I'm just bitter because I suck at color theory and color design.