it has been a while hasn't it?

[lunar_mortuis]

it has been a while hasn't it? a while since i last spilled my utter soul apon the eyes of random people..... well this last week has gone by better than what i first thought. it turns out that the tables have turned for me i suppose. you see ever since i started to feel attraction for people it always seemed that i would like all kinds of people but never would some like me that i liked in return. but that has changed. you see people there is this guy that i work with. his name you may ask well..... it is Angel.... he is a really neat person and i ended up growing feelings for him. and on saturday he told me that he needed to talk to me and as soon as it slowed down a bit i went with him into the bun room and after a little bit he told me that he had a crush on me. i never knew that so many emotions could come over me all at once. i was thrilled for the gact that i too had a crush on him but was scared to say anything for how it always turned out before when i had acrush on someone... but anyway also i was very sad.... for you see Angel is a crew person and i am a manager which is not a good thing... i could loose my job for taking a chance and as much as i am willing to take that chance i am unable to take the chance of loosing my job. i would give almost anything to beable to hang out with him. ass you can more than likely see i have it bad for him... but yet again i am stuck betweena rock and a hard place... what ever shall i do........

the sky weeps for me
because i cannot
the emotions i am scared to show
are steadily growing within me

......

how many times can a heart pull itself together
when it has been shattered and broken so many timed before
when it comes to a point that nothing seems to matter
when you yern to feel alive at no cost

i put a mask upon my face to create a facade
for i find emotions week
they talk and all i do is give a little nod
people become close and all i do is push them away

just to be alone
to live in solitary and be utterly alone