Um....kids....and um....motherhood.

[lunar47]

No I am not pregnant. But for purely fic reasons, I was wondering if all the mothers out there (or parents in general I guess) would be willing to post their feelings on the following questions. Let me backtrack and tell you why I need this. I am STILL writing "Five Times Kara Breaks" and the last vignette deals with Kara and Kacey. I want to be

Comments

[stardust_20]

It's a tough one to define, let me tell you. There are days when I feel downright Homer Simpson-ish and want to strangle them (sometimes all 3) but for the most part they are adorable little angels.

When you look at your child, you see something you don't see when you look at any other person - a part of you. No one else can ever occupy that space - you can choose friends, lovers ... but a child is a person that was born of YOU, is part of YOU and shares what makes you YOU. I don't think it's something that comes to every mom naturally upon the moment of birth (or even before, though it does for some) but at some point that connection is made, and you realize that regardless of your status with every other person in your life, THIS one is more important.

Protectiveness? I don't know that everyone has those until they become a parent. Some do - I used to be very protective of my friends (still am, I rush off to their defence whenever I need to - just call me a knight in shining armour) but it was a very different feeling to protecting something that is your own.

As for how this all plays into Kara/Kacey ... I'm kind of fuzzy on that one too. In the beginning Kara denies Kacey as her own, mainly I think because of her relationship with her mother, and the fact that I think she doesn't WANT to believe she could ever be a parent. She's deathly afraid of what that means - nurturing, love, responsibility, ... all the things she runs away from. she likes no strings attached and that is diametrically opposite to what children are. They are the ultimate strings - they are always there and always will be even when they're grown up. But more so when they're babies, toddlers and young children. They are SO dependent on their parents and look up to their parents as their ideals and heroes and I think the idea of that scared the hell out of Kara.

But the accident Kacey had (that Kara blames herself for by being negligent) brings out those feelings of protectiveness that you can't help when you have children. Seeing them hurt hurts you physically as well. And so all of the fear and protective shell Kara hid in disappeared as those other overwhelming feelings of protectiveness and nurturing set in for her. She realizes at this point that this IS her child and she is responsible for it. She decides to take on that responsibility and turn her back on all that she knew about mothers and daughters before and start fresh. Until it's all taken away from her ... which is definitely when she breaks.

Okay, that was longer than I'd planned, but I hope it helps. I wonder, now that I'm reading this, why it is I've never written a Kara/Kacey fic. Hmmm ....

[lunar47]

thank you so much for this. It's hard writing about emotions I have never experienced before and I don't want to break the believability of the story. I may hold off on asking for beta services for a week or 2 since I will be doing lots of cat stuff and the story is turning out longer than expected. I will let you know by email or by commenting when I actually send it.

[stardust_20]

I understand. And good for you in doing research instead of just guessing. :)

No worries on the story - I was just bugging you when I prodded the other day. I've always got plenty on my plate so I can hold off a while too. Besides kitties need you - you have to be there for them. I wish I could have cats but my middle child is horribly allergic. :(