just found an old file...
i had forgotten writing this, i was looking for some other things that i remember writing, at the begining, that i might be able to use for something.. but instead i first find this, which i wrote near the end, before i was abandoned..... tell me what u think, if anything... your thoughts... etc.
File Created on Saturday, July 31, 2004, 9:16:29 PM
the support that i did not know i needed, came.
the love that would keep me going, grew.
the pain that can be life, was present.
i may not have had all control, yet i was happy.
or i should have been, for it seems that even the purest of things, do not always last.
the little things that then came from
nowhere, tore me apart.
the understanding that was nearly perfect, now nearly gone.
the empty sopt that i feel inside me hollow
and cold, grows.
i may now have more, or less control.
i may not be trying as hard as i could,
although it feels like i have tried and tried again.
i try to smile, but alas i dispair.
my security i had come to depend on, fades.
my support has crumbled before i could stop it.
i am traped in a box helpless, lost and confused.
looking for help, but in my box there is nothing.
no one understands, and i fail to explain.
this is how i feel.
i do not know if it is real.
emotion toys with my head, with my mind.
am i thinking clear?
i can not tell.
~A
File Created on Saturday, July 31, 2004, 9:16:29 PM
the support that i did not know i needed, came.
the love that would keep me going, grew.
the pain that can be life, was present.
i may not have had all control, yet i was happy.
or i should have been, for it seems that even the purest of things, do not always last.
the little things that then came from
nowhere, tore me apart.
the understanding that was nearly perfect, now nearly gone.
the empty sopt that i feel inside me hollow
and cold, grows.
i may now have more, or less control.
i may not be trying as hard as i could,
although it feels like i have tried and tried again.
i try to smile, but alas i dispair.
my security i had come to depend on, fades.
my support has crumbled before i could stop it.
i am traped in a box helpless, lost and confused.
looking for help, but in my box there is nothing.
no one understands, and i fail to explain.
this is how i feel.
i do not know if it is real.
emotion toys with my head, with my mind.
am i thinking clear?
i can not tell.
~A