This is what happens when you read one too many bad!fics
this is me complaining to my friend about a crappy fic...
"And look, here's a picture of my great, great uncle Harry Amos Potter in 479 BC listening to his Ipod in New York City!"
*snickers* now children what's wrong with this picture?
*continues with the spoofiness* "what you mean my mother wasn't a muggle born? I'm a magical creature? Oh my Merlin! What will I do now? *friendship with Draco spontaneously develops*"
*cries in Draco's arms* "oh Harry, all will be well, soon you'll shack up with my godfather"
*Ron points* "you dirty black haired person you, how dare you hang out with evil boy and forsake our false friendship"
*Harry slits wrist* "I’m so unloved and hated”
*Draco cries and calls up godfather* "Oh Severus, godfather of mine, I saw Harry committing suicide and did nothing but run in the opposite direction to find you, the mate of his magical creature side"
*Snape runs after Harry, much snoggage occurs, Voldemort spontaneously combusts, Harry is impregnated, Hermione is impregnated by a doting, suddenly loyal to Harry Ron, and Draco falls in love with some random minor character, a badly written bonding ceremony ensues*