Journey into Submission: Response to a Beginning
Thanks to a certain felonious feline, I left my cell phone at home this morning. When I got home this evening, I had one voice mail:
"Call me and I'll tell you what your problem is."
Alrighty then. That is NOT the sort of statement that leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling. But since the message was from a friend with whom I've been talking about D&S lately, I took a leap of faith and made the call.
"Your problem is that you're afraid. And the answer to your question is: Get Out There!"
And then he announced that he had to go because he had a date. (Minor note: This is a mean sadistic man who KNOWS I am an expert at overthinking everything.)
Afraid of what?
Get out where?
Assuming I find the where, what do I do when I get there?
Stepping away was much easier than this. But one night with a friend that rekindled some interest followed by a short story and conversation with another friend that actually proved that what I want really exists and now my brain is bouncing off walls trying to figure out ....who....what....where....when....why....how.....
I know the old adage is true: If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."
But that doesn't really help since I thought I did everything last time. Still not sure where to look. And if my ability to choose hasn't improved, I'm looking at the same dissatisfying situation. I'd like to think I'm smarter this time.
On the plus side, with my fencing and assorted bruises because of that, now is the perfect time for me to start playing again. No one will question any bruises.
But I still don't know how to find what I really need.
"Call me and I'll tell you what your problem is."
Alrighty then. That is NOT the sort of statement that leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling. But since the message was from a friend with whom I've been talking about D&S lately, I took a leap of faith and made the call.
"Your problem is that you're afraid. And the answer to your question is: Get Out There!"
And then he announced that he had to go because he had a date. (Minor note: This is a mean sadistic man who KNOWS I am an expert at overthinking everything.)
Afraid of what?
Get out where?
Assuming I find the where, what do I do when I get there?
Stepping away was much easier than this. But one night with a friend that rekindled some interest followed by a short story and conversation with another friend that actually proved that what I want really exists and now my brain is bouncing off walls trying to figure out ....who....what....where....when....why....how.....
I know the old adage is true: If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."
But that doesn't really help since I thought I did everything last time. Still not sure where to look. And if my ability to choose hasn't improved, I'm looking at the same dissatisfying situation. I'd like to think I'm smarter this time.
On the plus side, with my fencing and assorted bruises because of that, now is the perfect time for me to start playing again. No one will question any bruises.
But I still don't know how to find what I really need.