Mass Effect 2 thoughts and also SPOILERS
ASDL;A LIARA MY FIRST LESBIAN ROMANCE WHEN DID YOU GET SO BADASS
HNNNNG
Little Miss Liara "Nerdy Asari Archaeologist Who Would Rather Examine Derelict Ruins All Day and Make Awkwardly Forwad Passes at Shepard" T'Soni is now a fucking information broker on Ilium who wields a simply absurd amount of political power, holy shit. When you first see her, she's in a video conference and busts out some decidedly Sovereign-influenced Matriarch Benezia dialogue in a sultry voice ("Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before?"), but then she sort of ruins it all by returning to her normal higher-pitched voice and hugging you. Awwww. But then it's back to business because did I mention she's information broker with absurd amounts of political power? Yeah.
ALSO: KAIDAN
ON HORIZON
what the fuck was that I mean seriously
Is Bioware trying to make us cheat on our love interests from the past game? Where was my option to calmly explain why I was working with Cerberus instead of giving half-answers and generally pissing him off? Why in the world was our reunion so hilariously(?) unemotional? He thought I was dead for two years and all I can say is "IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME :|". And I can only assume it's the same way if you romanced Ashley in the last game, except the confrontation probably goes a lot less civilly because, hey, it's Ashley J. Williams. aslkdfa Bioware your writing is usually top-notch but you really dropped the ball here, man. And then, you only get the really heartfelt stuff in an email he sends, and you can't reply to emails in the game. FUCK.
So yeah. Feeling slightly to not at all guilty about pursuing Garrus as a love interest this time around. Feeling extremely played by Bioware because I'm sure this was their intention, goddammit. How in the world is "cheating" on the last game's love interest going to be a big deal if said love interest all but dumped you? Oh my god please don't let female Shepard or Ashley be pregnant because I will throw so many things.
Man, talk about "it's complicated." :/
SPEAKING OF GARRUS AS A LOVE INTEREST
garrus man do you even think before you speak sometimes I mean seriously:
"You know me -- I like savoring the last shot before popping the heat sink."
REALLY?
REALLY, GARRUS?
Also, his loyalty mission is just intense. He's off trying to kill Sidonis, the turian who sold his mercenary group out and got them all killed, which lead to Garrus's getting holed up in the base and shooting down gunships with sniper rifles and holding off like three gamgs by himself. Which is awesome, but it really messed him up something awful, and I'm not just talking about his scars from the rocket to the face. He was hilariously renegade in the last game, but he really jumps off the slippery slope in this one. Being on Omega and witnessing the horrible things there didn't change him -- Sidonis's betrayal did. So he goes off to the Citadel to hunt Sidonis down and beats down everyone and everything in order to get information (and actually shoots one dude's knees if you don't stop him, holy shit). You can actually try talking him out of it when you actually find Sidonis, and it's actually somewhat heartbreakig to hear him. Paragon!Shepard have the option of saying that he doesn't have to kill anyone, perhaps they can just talk it out, and Garrus says, "I'm not like you, Shepard." :(
I also hear that Thane is a romance option taken directly from the Carth Onasi school of being a love interest. GOOD JOB, SHEPARD, LET'S HIT ON THE GUY AFTER HE TELLS YOU HIS WIFE'S DEAD, THIS IS TOTALLY CLASSY.
I've been doing a lot of loyalty missions and scanning for materials for upgrades (I think I'm coming down with Stockholm Syndrome, I'm actually finding stripmining planets kinda fun someone please help me) because I'm paranoid about going into the final mission unprepared and having a near-repeat of Virmire. FUCK YOU BIOWARE, I'M NOT LETTING ANYONE DIE THIS TIME AROUND, SCREW YOUR SADISTIC CHOICES WITH NO THIRD OPTION.
Still have not recruited Tali (why, self, whyyyy), but I think I'll get around to it tonight, at least. I've got Samara, and she's actually pretty interesting. She's an asari Justicar, who are basically not-vigilantes who have the authority to kill those who break the law. They're a little like Jedi Spectres, except for the fact that they're not sanctioned by any government or outside force. They do have the warrior-monk and "do anything to get the job done" mentality, though.
There's just so much great background dialogue in the game. On the Citadel, I listened to a turian and an asari couple talk about buying a fish, and the turian was like, "But it's just going to die in a few years, why do I need one" and the asari was like "But it's about appreciating the moments you do have with the fish!" and he came with "IS THIS THE LIFE SPAN TALK? I'M NOT HAVING THE LIFE SPAN TALK AGAIN." So great.
And then there's a human and a turian taking a salarian coworker out for a bachelor party to celebrate his parents negotiating a reproduction contract on Ilium so they hire an asari stripper. The salarian doesn't get it ("YOU BARELY KNOW ME REPRODUCTION CONTRACTS AREN'T LIKE GETTING MARRIED DO HUMANS SERIOUSLY CELEBRATE MARRIAGE BY TEMPTING INFIDELITY SALARIANS DON'T EVEN HAVE SEX DRIVES LIKE OTHER SPECIES WHAT IS THIS"), the turian is just there for the drinks, and the human is like "GOD YOU GUYS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL JUST ROLL WITH IT." And then eventually they start discussing why they find the asari attractive (they each think asari look like their species: they look like human females, they have head tentacle things similar to turian fringes, and idk about the salarian, he didn't explain) and then come to the horrifying conclusion that asari must use mind control. HERE'S THE LINK, EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT.
I love this game.