[meme]
IT ONLY TOOK FOREVER, but Yuri's finally past 1,000 comments. Thus! To celebrate, ask me anything. First impressions, thoughts on canon, requests for porn (You will deeply regret making this decision if you ask me for porn.), anything!
I will get to them when I wake up in the afternoon.
I will get to them when I wake up in the afternoon.
"What are you doing?" Barnaby asked as he lifted himself onto his elbows and squinted in an attempt to see.
"Trying to find the lube," Kotetsu said. He was slurring only slightly, which was a marked improvement from ten minutes ago, when he had to repeat his sentence six times before Barnaby got that he wanted to have sex. "And condoms. Condoms are good."
Glasses were also good. Where were his? "Glasses."
Kotetsu threw something away from the bed, where it hit the wall with an ominous crack. "What?"
"Glasses. Where are my glasses?"
"Uh," Kotetsu said and stepped back. Something crunched beneath his feet, and he winced. "Ow."
"...What did you do."
"I think I found your glasses," was the reply, and Kotetsu lifted up a foot and wobbled dangerously as he peered at what he stepped on. "Yep."
"You just broke my glasses," Barnaby said. He sat up and fixed Kotetsu with the angriest glare he could make while drunk and squinting.
Kotetsu waved his hands and nearly fell over because he forgot to put his foot back down. "I didn't mean to. Don't you have pairs? Spades? Spuds? Extras."
"Spares," Barnaby said, then remembered that Kotetsu broke his glasses. "You broke my glasses."
"You have them. Spares. I'll get you a spare pair." Kotetsu blinked in confusion. "That sounds weird."
"There's a pair in the nightstand drawer. Of glasses." Then he remembered that the contents of the drawer were currently next to him on the bed. "Oh."
He rummaged through the contents, bringing them close to his eyes and squinting at anything that may have felt somewhat like glasses. None of them were. His attempt at finding a spare pair was hindered by Kotetsu, who kept shuffling through the items and throwing them against the wall on the other side of the bedroom.
After a few minutes, Kotetsu suddenly raised something triumphantly over his head. "Aha!" he said, and Barnaby squinted at the object and wished it were his glasses.
"Did you find my glasses?"
"No," Kotetsu said, sounding immensely proud of himself as he waved the whatever it was in front of his face. "I found the lube!"
Barnaby wanted to kick him, so he did. Kotetsu squeaked and dropped what he was holding, and Barnaby leaned over and snatched it out of the air.
"This," he said, "is not lube. They are eyedrops. For eyes."
"Huh," Kotetsu said. He swept the contents of the nightstand off the bed, and then half-collapsed and half-crawled on top of Barnaby. "Maybe we don't need the luge. Lute. Lube?"
Barnaby kicked him again.
"Ow."
"Get off."
"I'm trying," Kotetsu muttered into Barnaby's shoulder, and then proceeded to grope aimlessly around the area of his crotch. "What is this?"
"That," Barnaby said, "is my penis."
"Why is soft-Oooooh."
"Get off," Barnaby said again, and this time Kotetsu listened, rolling off him. "I am," Barnaby said, sitting up, "going to find my glasses."
"And then?"
"I don't know," Barnaby said, and then he got out of the bed and walked towards the closet. Or, at least, he attempted to walk towards the closet, but there was something lying on the floor that he could not see, and, being drunk, was unable to right himself when he tripped over it. He fell to the ground.
"Are you okay?" came Kotetsu's muffled voice from the bed.
"No," Barnaby replied.
"Okay," said Kotetsu.
And they did not have sex that night.
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