Fic: My Mum and Dad Killed
*Bows* Yes, I went and gone there... A Devil's Whore fic. Simm makes it so hard not to write about, even if one hasn't even seen the show. Snippets I've seen on youtube, but that's it. So, I dip my toe into the unknown and hope for the best.
My Mum and Dad Killed
Fandom: The Devil’s Whore
Pairing: Sexby/Angelica
Rated: Hard R
Warnings: AU/AR, Het, death, angst, kind of dark
Notes: I need to say right away that I have NOT seen The Devil’s Whore yet, but my muse would not leave me alone until I wrote something (and wyvernwolf poked me with a pointed stick), so this is probably going to be pretty AU. I kind of know what happened, and I do know what happened at the end with Sexby (so there's spoilers to that). I guess you can blame Simm for getting my muse so active. :)
Also: I’ve NEVER written anything like this before because I usually dislike really angsty, dark stuff. This just kind of rolled out of my head and I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry!
Disclaimer: I do not own! Property of channel 4.
~**~
The body slid to the floor, dead. Angelica stared in shock, the bloody dagger still in her hand. She had no idea she would do something like this, and she wondered what could have driven her to this kind of madness. She wanted to blame someone (Edward Sexby) but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The only thing she could do was get the hell away and get her hands cleaned.
She was scared. The last thing she wanted to do was become a murderer, but the word swirled in her mind until she couldn’t take it anymore. She washed herself clean, threw the dagger away, and went back into her bedroom. It was all just a bad dream that was all. She’d wake up and discover that everything was as it should be.
But it wasn’t a dream. That morning she went down to the throne room where the king’s soldiers were preparing themselves for some sort of attack. When she descended the stairs, the first person in the crowd to catch her eye was Edward Sexby. Oh God, what was he doing here? Her pulse quickened, but she kept herself composed as she walked down the stairs. The others greeted her in kind, and she smiled and greeted them back, hoping that they didn’t suspect a thing. Unbidden, her line of sight went back to Sexby, and he was squinting right back at her. She shivered, because that was what his stare always did to her.
“Murder!” a solider cried, running down the stairs. “There’s been a murder!”
Everyone present began to murmur and mumble, no doubt conversing just who had done it. Angelica quickly went to stand next to Prince Rupert, hoping to look innocent. He greeted her in the usual fashion, but his eyes were taking on a different expression.
“When?” Rupert asked the solider. “This moment?”
“It must have happened some time yesterday,” the solider said. “The body is cold now.”
The man that had been killed was talked about. Prince Rupert was looking outraged, and Angelica tried her best to look shocked and confused by the events. But then he turned to her, eyes accusing.
“He was just fine last night, before he went to bed,” he said. “Madam, did you see anyone suspicious enter his room?”
“No,” she said immediately. “I did not.”
“Where were you last night, if I may ask?”
She thought as fast as she could, but she couldn’t think up a good enough excuse. She was sure everyone had seen her go up to bed last night, and there were no alibis. She was a prime suspect, and if she didn’t think fast she’d be on her way to the gallows.
“Well?” asked Rupert. “Where exactly were you last night?”
Her eyes darted over to Sexby, and he was still staring at her with those damned, alluring eyes. She stuttered, and the next thing out of her mouth even surprised her.
“I was… with Sexby last night.” Her face felt as though it was on fire, but she was determined to keep a steady gaze.
“Sexby?” said Rupert, shocked. “You’ve got to be putting me on, madam. No lady in her right mind would bed Sexby…”
She felt indignant with the statement, and she shook with slight fury. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong; because I have done…” she broke off, blushing hard again.
Prince Rupert beckoned Sexby over to them, and Sexby hesitated for a moment, but when he noticed the pleading look that Angelica was giving him, he came.
“Were you with Angelica last night?” he asked Sexby right away. Sexby looked over at her, and again Angelica was staring at him pleadingly.
“I had the pleasure of the lady’s company last night, yes,” Sexby answered smoothly. Angelica found herself breathless.
“Yes, we were together,” she said after a pregnant pause. “We didn’t… do anything untoward. I was lonely, and wanted company… so I asked Sexby if I could lie beside him. All we did was sleep.”
“So you say,” said Rupert. He eyed them both peculiarly. “You really were with him?”
“Yes,” she said, tone firm and commanding.
“Sexby?” Rupert demanded his answer.
“Yes, I was with the lady,” he said, then put a hand on her back. She leaned toward him more to show that she was comfortable with him.
“All right, I’ll believe you… even though I don’t want to.”
When he left them alone, Sexby turned to her, his eyes dancing. Angelica swallowed, facing him and the consequences.
“Lovely lie, my lady,” he whispered huskily into her ear. She shivered and leaned closer.
“Thank you.”
The ballroom opened up and people started to pile inside. The soldiers stayed around the throne room, talking about the murder that just happened, and Angelica grabbed Sexby’s elbow in expectation. He looked at her, pleased, and slowly followed the crowd into the big ballroom.
“You’re looking beautiful today, my lady,” he said. She couldn’t stop the smile forming slowly over her face.
“Thank you, Sexby.”
“I’m not really much of a dancer, so I hope you’re okay with me just watching everyone else…”
She turned to him, suddenly afraid. She wanted to keep the innocent charade going, and if she just stood around doing nothing it might look too suspicious. “No, you’re dancing with me, and that is final.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but then something in her eyes stopped him and he surrendered.
“If your toes hurt from my big feet, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
She laughed.
~**~
After Sexby danced the best he could with her, and dancing ever so close with no toes stepped on, Angelica excused herself and retired to her room; she needed to catch her breath, because if they continued on the way they were, she knew just what would arise. She was just about to open the door when someone from the shadows crept beside her and place a hand on her shoulder. She jumped from shock, about to scream bloody murder, but stopped when she noticed who it was.
“Oh, Sexby!” she held a hand onto her chest. “Don’t frighten me like that.”
“Sorry, my lady, I cannot help it,” he said, smiling. “I’m used to being silent in my footsteps.”
She knew what he was, and somehow that didn’t bother her. Maybe it was because she was now a murderer also.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Well, don’t want to make a liar out of you, do we?” he said, and let himself into her bedchamber without her inviting him in. She had no choice but to follow.
“We’re not having… we’re not doing anything, so you know. Just sleeping.”
“Of course, my lady,” he said, slipping his shirt off. She stopped and stared, and that was all she really could do at the moment. He peeled off his shirts, and then his bare, scarred back was exposed, and she ogled. She felt as though the breath had been knocked out of her. He turned, smiling that beautiful smile of his, and she knew she was lost. She surrendered to him that moment, even though he had no idea she just had.
He didn’t even have to say anything. She just began to take her clothes off as well, and then they were both lying naked beside each other.
And then he kissed her.
She was going to be made into more of a liar if they continued with what they were doing, but Angelica found she couldn’t stop herself. He felt so good, so solid and strong over her, around her, inside her… she arched her back and clenched her legs, and then he was in so deep she throbbed. She gasped, clutching to him, digging her nails into his skin, piercing it, and he didn’t care. He was an unstoppable force, driving in and out, and she felt herself quiver and explode more than once.
~**~
The war raged. Then news reached her that Sexby had been cornered in a barn, and they were about to charge it. She knew that morning that something wasn’t right, and she flung herself over there, determined to stop the madness. She begged and pleaded to spare his life. “I love him, please, you cannot…”
Her pleads were going unanswered. Then there was the sound of a gun cocking, and she felt a cold chill go down her spine. He wasn’t about to… was he?
She barged herself in and stopped him right as he was about to pull the trigger.
“I love you, Edward,” she cried, weeping in his lap. “You damned fool, don’t you dare… I’m with child!”
Sexby stared down at her. “What?”
She stood and took him into her arms, not caring that there were soldiers all around them. “I’m with child… YOUR child, Edward. So don’t you dare…”
They disarmed him while he was distracted and dragged him away from Angelica, and she cried and screamed. Sexby cursed, damning everyone and everything, shouting that he wasn’t about to be taken alive and tried to steal someone’s pistol, but they got his arms around his back and dragged him out of the room.
They threw him into prison. Angelica visited him, but he wouldn’t look at her, banging his metal arm against the wall. ‘He blames me for this,’ she thought sadly. She tried to talk to him, let him see reason, but he wouldn’t acknowledge her.
“Edward, please. I love you.”
He didn’t move. Didn’t even look at her. It broke her in two.
“Please, Edward. Please. You must understand, I didn’t want you to die. Don’t you want to know your child?”
He was silent still, but then when he spoke she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“I’m not fit to be a father.”
“You’re fit to love,” she argued. “So you’re fit enough to be a father.”
“I’ll be in here for the rest of my life, so how is this better?” He looked up at her, eyes squinting and dangerous. “You should have let me pull that trigger.”
“No, I did the right thing.”
Sexby laughed, and it was hollow. “You really know what the right thing for me is? No. You should have let me die.”
“I want you to see your child when it is born.”
“If you know what is right, Angelica, you’ll keep our child away from me.”
She continued to visit him, even though he was holding a grunge. She would often get him to talk, even though he tried not to. She would always start the conversation with ‘I love you, Edward’, but that didn’t seem to matter for him now.
Nine months finally passed, and Angelica gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She named her Elizabeth, but called her Beth for short. She really was lovely, and Angelica couldn’t wait to show her to Edward.
When she arrived at his cell, his back was to her, and she wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or just trying to ignore her.
“Edward,” she said softly. “I have someone here to see you.”
It was the first time she started her visitation with something other than ‘I love you’, and it shook him out of his brooding and he turned his head around.
“Oh yeah? Who?” his hoarse voice rasped.
“Come to the bars and see.”
He actually obeyed, and when he stood beside the bars, she held out the tiny little bundle. This was the first time in months that she got to be this close to him, and she cursed the iron bars that were separating their bodies.
“Her name’s Elizabeth,” she told him. The baby cooed, and the look in Sexby’s eyes was unreadable. “Isn’t she beautiful?” she said after a moment. “She has your smile.”
That brought a smirk to his face, and then he looked up into her eyes at last. She could see the pain in them, and she wished she could somehow erase it.
“Yes,” he finally said. “She’s lovely.” Then he turned around and lay back down against the wall. “Now get her far away from me.”
“You’re her father, so no, I won’t.”
“I mean it,” he growled. “Keep her away. I’ll taint her.”
“You will not.”
He didn’t speak to her again after that, so she left, not as hopeful as she had been when she first came there.
She visited him as often as she could, baby in tow. He kept telling her the same things: “Keep her away, I’m no good for her. I’ll taint her.” But Angelica was determined to make him see that he did have the right to see his daughter, and she even tried to make him touch her through the bars, but he’d been resisting.
“I’ll taint her, so no, I won’t.” He’d said.
“She’s almost a year old, Edward. Come on, let her hold your finger at least.”
“No, get her away!”
Beth cried and clung to her mother, and Angelica had no choice but to leave.
~**~
Sexby was getting worse, and she could see the madness creeping within him. There was a time he almost did touch his daughter, but he pulled away at the last second and muttered, “I’ll taint her, I’ll taint her…”
She was starting to doubt what she’d done was the right thing after all. Maybe she should have let him pull the trigger. A month gone by between visits, but luckily Edward knew who she was. At first, he thought she was a figment of his imagination, but then when she said, “Edward, I love you… come say hello to your daughter,” then he knew it was real and he started screaming.
“Get her away from me!”
He scared Beth so much she ran, and Angelica had no choice but to go after her daughter before she injured herself.
They didn’t visit Sexby for almost two years, thinking that maybe it was best if she kept Beth away from him. After all, Beth would just run away scared whenever he yelled. Whenever they did try to visit him again, the visits were short and not much conversation took place between them.
But then, one day, on Beth’s seventh birthday, she asked to see her daddy. It was so sudden that Angelica dropped the plate of food she’d been holding.
They went to see him, but he didn’t seem to even acknowledge them.
Beth gripped the bars tightly in her hands and whispered, “Daddy?”
The lump in the corner stirred, and then his head lifted. Angelica gasped. He could tell then and there that he was completely gone and there was nothing she could do to save him.
Beth, bless her, tried again. “Daddy? It’s me. Beth. Your daughter.”
“Get out,” he growled hoarsely, and Beth began to shake, but she held herself firm.
“I want to see you, Dad.”
“Go away and leave me alone in my madness.”
“Mum tells me lots of things about you,” said Beth bravely. “She says you’re actually a good man, and that you’ve helped in the war.”
“Leave.”
Beth’s eyes filled with tears. “Daddy, please… just let me touch you, just once. You don’t have to do it ever again, I promise.”
Suddenly, Sexby charged them and for a fearful moment Angelica thought he was going to hit Beth, but he had grabbed the back of her head and pushed her face between the bars painfully.
“Is this what you’ve wanted?” he snarled. “Well, here it is: your father’s touch! Do you like it, daughter of mine? Does it hurt?”
“Yes, Daddy, it hurts!”
“Good!” he wretched her away and stepped back. “That’s what you’ll get every time you visit me. So you better be a good girl and never see me again.”
Beth cried that night, wondering over and over aloud why her daddy hated her. Angelica wanted to scream and hurt someone, if not Sexby. Her daughter did not deserve this punishment.
Then, on Beth’s tenth birthday, they visited Edward for the last time. She was feeling guilty, and maybe she could ease that guilt and Edward’s pain at the same time. When he saw them, he just looked right through them as though they weren’t really there.
“I’ve come to ease your pain, my love,” Angelica whispered.
That got Edward moving. He crawled to the bars and then on his knees, looked up at them. His eyes were swimming in madness.
“Then do it,” he begged. “Pull the trigger.”
She had no idea how he knew that she had a gun, but then again, what else would she have.
“Why is she here?” said Edward suddenly, pointing at Beth.
“To say goodbye,” said Angelica.
Beth knelt in front of her father and squeezed an arm through the bars to touch him. Surprisingly, he stayed where he was and let her.
“Father,” she said lovingly. “I do love you, even though you’re not quite yourself anymore.”
Sexby laughed eerily, and Beth almost pulled away, but she continued to stroke his beard and raggedy hair in a loving manner.
“I will do right by you,” Beth continued. “I have taken your name and I’ll do right by it.”
“Oh?” he said. “How so?”
She smiled and leaned closer. Sexby leaned in, knowing she was going to whisper something to him.
“I am going to kill.”
He didn’t look surprised; he just nodded his head as if he’d known all along. “I have tainted you, Elizabeth.”
“I am your daughter after all,” said Beth, fingers through her father’s beard. “And I’ll kill those that have been whispering hurtful things about you in the dark of night. They’ll pay.”
Angelica didn’t seem bothered by this statement, but then again he always knew that she’d been the one that had murdered that man.
“Good girl,” he said, and then looked to Angelica, eyes full of madness. “End my pain, Angelica.”
She couldn’t do it right away; she had to give him one last kiss goodbye. She didn’t care if his breath stank; it still felt good to kiss him again. When she pulled away, he eyed the gun in her hand longingly, and she aimed. He opened his mouth.
“I’ll always love you, Edward. Good bye.”
She fired.
~**~
Epilogue
Elizabeth Sexby urged her steed onward, driving her heels into its flank hard. The air was cold, and her face felt nearly numb although she had a scarf around her mouth and nose, and her father’s hat covering her head.
“Come on, come on, come on,” she goaded her horse. “Come on, boy, faster!”
Bullets flew past her as she got up a steep hill, and then she gained momentum down the other side, long plait flying out behind her. She was in an open field now, and that wasn’t good; it made her a sitting duck.
“Come on, Rocinante, run like the wind!” Her horse obeyed her, running as fast as he could, and finally she was able to get to more woods and lose her pursuers. She did not have a death wish, not today.
“That little witch has eluded us!” the leader of the soldiers shouted.
“What do you expect?” the second in command said. “She’s Sexby’s brat.”
“I’ll see her hung high from the gallows soon!” the leader yelled, and then they turned around and left the woods.
Beth went to her hideout, hitched her horse, and went inside the little cabin. Her mother had told her that her father once used this place to hide from the enemy, before he’d been given a job by Prince Rupert.
She had killed many, like she promised her old man. When she had made her first kill, she could have sworn she heard her father’s laughter (but she was the one laughing manically), and it continued to ring in her ears that night. If she concentrated now, she could still hear it. But she didn’t want to remember his eerie laugh; she wanted to remember the way he grabbed the back of her head and pushed her face into the cell bars. She closed her eyes and imagined it, as she sat by the fire. She breathed out a sigh of relief, lightly touching the back of her neck on impulse.
“Father, I do hope you’re at peace. I know I am.”
END!
My Mum and Dad Killed
Fandom: The Devil’s Whore
Pairing: Sexby/Angelica
Rated: Hard R
Warnings: AU/AR, Het, death, angst, kind of dark
Notes: I need to say right away that I have NOT seen The Devil’s Whore yet, but my muse would not leave me alone until I wrote something (and wyvernwolf poked me with a pointed stick), so this is probably going to be pretty AU. I kind of know what happened, and I do know what happened at the end with Sexby (so there's spoilers to that). I guess you can blame Simm for getting my muse so active. :)
Also: I’ve NEVER written anything like this before because I usually dislike really angsty, dark stuff. This just kind of rolled out of my head and I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry!
Disclaimer: I do not own! Property of channel 4.
~**~
The body slid to the floor, dead. Angelica stared in shock, the bloody dagger still in her hand. She had no idea she would do something like this, and she wondered what could have driven her to this kind of madness. She wanted to blame someone (Edward Sexby) but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The only thing she could do was get the hell away and get her hands cleaned.
She was scared. The last thing she wanted to do was become a murderer, but the word swirled in her mind until she couldn’t take it anymore. She washed herself clean, threw the dagger away, and went back into her bedroom. It was all just a bad dream that was all. She’d wake up and discover that everything was as it should be.
But it wasn’t a dream. That morning she went down to the throne room where the king’s soldiers were preparing themselves for some sort of attack. When she descended the stairs, the first person in the crowd to catch her eye was Edward Sexby. Oh God, what was he doing here? Her pulse quickened, but she kept herself composed as she walked down the stairs. The others greeted her in kind, and she smiled and greeted them back, hoping that they didn’t suspect a thing. Unbidden, her line of sight went back to Sexby, and he was squinting right back at her. She shivered, because that was what his stare always did to her.
“Murder!” a solider cried, running down the stairs. “There’s been a murder!”
Everyone present began to murmur and mumble, no doubt conversing just who had done it. Angelica quickly went to stand next to Prince Rupert, hoping to look innocent. He greeted her in the usual fashion, but his eyes were taking on a different expression.
“When?” Rupert asked the solider. “This moment?”
“It must have happened some time yesterday,” the solider said. “The body is cold now.”
The man that had been killed was talked about. Prince Rupert was looking outraged, and Angelica tried her best to look shocked and confused by the events. But then he turned to her, eyes accusing.
“He was just fine last night, before he went to bed,” he said. “Madam, did you see anyone suspicious enter his room?”
“No,” she said immediately. “I did not.”
“Where were you last night, if I may ask?”
She thought as fast as she could, but she couldn’t think up a good enough excuse. She was sure everyone had seen her go up to bed last night, and there were no alibis. She was a prime suspect, and if she didn’t think fast she’d be on her way to the gallows.
“Well?” asked Rupert. “Where exactly were you last night?”
Her eyes darted over to Sexby, and he was still staring at her with those damned, alluring eyes. She stuttered, and the next thing out of her mouth even surprised her.
“I was… with Sexby last night.” Her face felt as though it was on fire, but she was determined to keep a steady gaze.
“Sexby?” said Rupert, shocked. “You’ve got to be putting me on, madam. No lady in her right mind would bed Sexby…”
She felt indignant with the statement, and she shook with slight fury. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong; because I have done…” she broke off, blushing hard again.
Prince Rupert beckoned Sexby over to them, and Sexby hesitated for a moment, but when he noticed the pleading look that Angelica was giving him, he came.
“Were you with Angelica last night?” he asked Sexby right away. Sexby looked over at her, and again Angelica was staring at him pleadingly.
“I had the pleasure of the lady’s company last night, yes,” Sexby answered smoothly. Angelica found herself breathless.
“Yes, we were together,” she said after a pregnant pause. “We didn’t… do anything untoward. I was lonely, and wanted company… so I asked Sexby if I could lie beside him. All we did was sleep.”
“So you say,” said Rupert. He eyed them both peculiarly. “You really were with him?”
“Yes,” she said, tone firm and commanding.
“Sexby?” Rupert demanded his answer.
“Yes, I was with the lady,” he said, then put a hand on her back. She leaned toward him more to show that she was comfortable with him.
“All right, I’ll believe you… even though I don’t want to.”
When he left them alone, Sexby turned to her, his eyes dancing. Angelica swallowed, facing him and the consequences.
“Lovely lie, my lady,” he whispered huskily into her ear. She shivered and leaned closer.
“Thank you.”
The ballroom opened up and people started to pile inside. The soldiers stayed around the throne room, talking about the murder that just happened, and Angelica grabbed Sexby’s elbow in expectation. He looked at her, pleased, and slowly followed the crowd into the big ballroom.
“You’re looking beautiful today, my lady,” he said. She couldn’t stop the smile forming slowly over her face.
“Thank you, Sexby.”
“I’m not really much of a dancer, so I hope you’re okay with me just watching everyone else…”
She turned to him, suddenly afraid. She wanted to keep the innocent charade going, and if she just stood around doing nothing it might look too suspicious. “No, you’re dancing with me, and that is final.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but then something in her eyes stopped him and he surrendered.
“If your toes hurt from my big feet, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
She laughed.
~**~
After Sexby danced the best he could with her, and dancing ever so close with no toes stepped on, Angelica excused herself and retired to her room; she needed to catch her breath, because if they continued on the way they were, she knew just what would arise. She was just about to open the door when someone from the shadows crept beside her and place a hand on her shoulder. She jumped from shock, about to scream bloody murder, but stopped when she noticed who it was.
“Oh, Sexby!” she held a hand onto her chest. “Don’t frighten me like that.”
“Sorry, my lady, I cannot help it,” he said, smiling. “I’m used to being silent in my footsteps.”
She knew what he was, and somehow that didn’t bother her. Maybe it was because she was now a murderer also.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Well, don’t want to make a liar out of you, do we?” he said, and let himself into her bedchamber without her inviting him in. She had no choice but to follow.
“We’re not having… we’re not doing anything, so you know. Just sleeping.”
“Of course, my lady,” he said, slipping his shirt off. She stopped and stared, and that was all she really could do at the moment. He peeled off his shirts, and then his bare, scarred back was exposed, and she ogled. She felt as though the breath had been knocked out of her. He turned, smiling that beautiful smile of his, and she knew she was lost. She surrendered to him that moment, even though he had no idea she just had.
He didn’t even have to say anything. She just began to take her clothes off as well, and then they were both lying naked beside each other.
And then he kissed her.
She was going to be made into more of a liar if they continued with what they were doing, but Angelica found she couldn’t stop herself. He felt so good, so solid and strong over her, around her, inside her… she arched her back and clenched her legs, and then he was in so deep she throbbed. She gasped, clutching to him, digging her nails into his skin, piercing it, and he didn’t care. He was an unstoppable force, driving in and out, and she felt herself quiver and explode more than once.
~**~
The war raged. Then news reached her that Sexby had been cornered in a barn, and they were about to charge it. She knew that morning that something wasn’t right, and she flung herself over there, determined to stop the madness. She begged and pleaded to spare his life. “I love him, please, you cannot…”
Her pleads were going unanswered. Then there was the sound of a gun cocking, and she felt a cold chill go down her spine. He wasn’t about to… was he?
She barged herself in and stopped him right as he was about to pull the trigger.
“I love you, Edward,” she cried, weeping in his lap. “You damned fool, don’t you dare… I’m with child!”
Sexby stared down at her. “What?”
She stood and took him into her arms, not caring that there were soldiers all around them. “I’m with child… YOUR child, Edward. So don’t you dare…”
They disarmed him while he was distracted and dragged him away from Angelica, and she cried and screamed. Sexby cursed, damning everyone and everything, shouting that he wasn’t about to be taken alive and tried to steal someone’s pistol, but they got his arms around his back and dragged him out of the room.
They threw him into prison. Angelica visited him, but he wouldn’t look at her, banging his metal arm against the wall. ‘He blames me for this,’ she thought sadly. She tried to talk to him, let him see reason, but he wouldn’t acknowledge her.
“Edward, please. I love you.”
He didn’t move. Didn’t even look at her. It broke her in two.
“Please, Edward. Please. You must understand, I didn’t want you to die. Don’t you want to know your child?”
He was silent still, but then when he spoke she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“I’m not fit to be a father.”
“You’re fit to love,” she argued. “So you’re fit enough to be a father.”
“I’ll be in here for the rest of my life, so how is this better?” He looked up at her, eyes squinting and dangerous. “You should have let me pull that trigger.”
“No, I did the right thing.”
Sexby laughed, and it was hollow. “You really know what the right thing for me is? No. You should have let me die.”
“I want you to see your child when it is born.”
“If you know what is right, Angelica, you’ll keep our child away from me.”
She continued to visit him, even though he was holding a grunge. She would often get him to talk, even though he tried not to. She would always start the conversation with ‘I love you, Edward’, but that didn’t seem to matter for him now.
Nine months finally passed, and Angelica gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She named her Elizabeth, but called her Beth for short. She really was lovely, and Angelica couldn’t wait to show her to Edward.
When she arrived at his cell, his back was to her, and she wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or just trying to ignore her.
“Edward,” she said softly. “I have someone here to see you.”
It was the first time she started her visitation with something other than ‘I love you’, and it shook him out of his brooding and he turned his head around.
“Oh yeah? Who?” his hoarse voice rasped.
“Come to the bars and see.”
He actually obeyed, and when he stood beside the bars, she held out the tiny little bundle. This was the first time in months that she got to be this close to him, and she cursed the iron bars that were separating their bodies.
“Her name’s Elizabeth,” she told him. The baby cooed, and the look in Sexby’s eyes was unreadable. “Isn’t she beautiful?” she said after a moment. “She has your smile.”
That brought a smirk to his face, and then he looked up into her eyes at last. She could see the pain in them, and she wished she could somehow erase it.
“Yes,” he finally said. “She’s lovely.” Then he turned around and lay back down against the wall. “Now get her far away from me.”
“You’re her father, so no, I won’t.”
“I mean it,” he growled. “Keep her away. I’ll taint her.”
“You will not.”
He didn’t speak to her again after that, so she left, not as hopeful as she had been when she first came there.
She visited him as often as she could, baby in tow. He kept telling her the same things: “Keep her away, I’m no good for her. I’ll taint her.” But Angelica was determined to make him see that he did have the right to see his daughter, and she even tried to make him touch her through the bars, but he’d been resisting.
“I’ll taint her, so no, I won’t.” He’d said.
“She’s almost a year old, Edward. Come on, let her hold your finger at least.”
“No, get her away!”
Beth cried and clung to her mother, and Angelica had no choice but to leave.
~**~
Sexby was getting worse, and she could see the madness creeping within him. There was a time he almost did touch his daughter, but he pulled away at the last second and muttered, “I’ll taint her, I’ll taint her…”
She was starting to doubt what she’d done was the right thing after all. Maybe she should have let him pull the trigger. A month gone by between visits, but luckily Edward knew who she was. At first, he thought she was a figment of his imagination, but then when she said, “Edward, I love you… come say hello to your daughter,” then he knew it was real and he started screaming.
“Get her away from me!”
He scared Beth so much she ran, and Angelica had no choice but to go after her daughter before she injured herself.
They didn’t visit Sexby for almost two years, thinking that maybe it was best if she kept Beth away from him. After all, Beth would just run away scared whenever he yelled. Whenever they did try to visit him again, the visits were short and not much conversation took place between them.
But then, one day, on Beth’s seventh birthday, she asked to see her daddy. It was so sudden that Angelica dropped the plate of food she’d been holding.
They went to see him, but he didn’t seem to even acknowledge them.
Beth gripped the bars tightly in her hands and whispered, “Daddy?”
The lump in the corner stirred, and then his head lifted. Angelica gasped. He could tell then and there that he was completely gone and there was nothing she could do to save him.
Beth, bless her, tried again. “Daddy? It’s me. Beth. Your daughter.”
“Get out,” he growled hoarsely, and Beth began to shake, but she held herself firm.
“I want to see you, Dad.”
“Go away and leave me alone in my madness.”
“Mum tells me lots of things about you,” said Beth bravely. “She says you’re actually a good man, and that you’ve helped in the war.”
“Leave.”
Beth’s eyes filled with tears. “Daddy, please… just let me touch you, just once. You don’t have to do it ever again, I promise.”
Suddenly, Sexby charged them and for a fearful moment Angelica thought he was going to hit Beth, but he had grabbed the back of her head and pushed her face between the bars painfully.
“Is this what you’ve wanted?” he snarled. “Well, here it is: your father’s touch! Do you like it, daughter of mine? Does it hurt?”
“Yes, Daddy, it hurts!”
“Good!” he wretched her away and stepped back. “That’s what you’ll get every time you visit me. So you better be a good girl and never see me again.”
Beth cried that night, wondering over and over aloud why her daddy hated her. Angelica wanted to scream and hurt someone, if not Sexby. Her daughter did not deserve this punishment.
Then, on Beth’s tenth birthday, they visited Edward for the last time. She was feeling guilty, and maybe she could ease that guilt and Edward’s pain at the same time. When he saw them, he just looked right through them as though they weren’t really there.
“I’ve come to ease your pain, my love,” Angelica whispered.
That got Edward moving. He crawled to the bars and then on his knees, looked up at them. His eyes were swimming in madness.
“Then do it,” he begged. “Pull the trigger.”
She had no idea how he knew that she had a gun, but then again, what else would she have.
“Why is she here?” said Edward suddenly, pointing at Beth.
“To say goodbye,” said Angelica.
Beth knelt in front of her father and squeezed an arm through the bars to touch him. Surprisingly, he stayed where he was and let her.
“Father,” she said lovingly. “I do love you, even though you’re not quite yourself anymore.”
Sexby laughed eerily, and Beth almost pulled away, but she continued to stroke his beard and raggedy hair in a loving manner.
“I will do right by you,” Beth continued. “I have taken your name and I’ll do right by it.”
“Oh?” he said. “How so?”
She smiled and leaned closer. Sexby leaned in, knowing she was going to whisper something to him.
“I am going to kill.”
He didn’t look surprised; he just nodded his head as if he’d known all along. “I have tainted you, Elizabeth.”
“I am your daughter after all,” said Beth, fingers through her father’s beard. “And I’ll kill those that have been whispering hurtful things about you in the dark of night. They’ll pay.”
Angelica didn’t seem bothered by this statement, but then again he always knew that she’d been the one that had murdered that man.
“Good girl,” he said, and then looked to Angelica, eyes full of madness. “End my pain, Angelica.”
She couldn’t do it right away; she had to give him one last kiss goodbye. She didn’t care if his breath stank; it still felt good to kiss him again. When she pulled away, he eyed the gun in her hand longingly, and she aimed. He opened his mouth.
“I’ll always love you, Edward. Good bye.”
She fired.
~**~
Epilogue
Elizabeth Sexby urged her steed onward, driving her heels into its flank hard. The air was cold, and her face felt nearly numb although she had a scarf around her mouth and nose, and her father’s hat covering her head.
“Come on, come on, come on,” she goaded her horse. “Come on, boy, faster!”
Bullets flew past her as she got up a steep hill, and then she gained momentum down the other side, long plait flying out behind her. She was in an open field now, and that wasn’t good; it made her a sitting duck.
“Come on, Rocinante, run like the wind!” Her horse obeyed her, running as fast as he could, and finally she was able to get to more woods and lose her pursuers. She did not have a death wish, not today.
“That little witch has eluded us!” the leader of the soldiers shouted.
“What do you expect?” the second in command said. “She’s Sexby’s brat.”
“I’ll see her hung high from the gallows soon!” the leader yelled, and then they turned around and left the woods.
Beth went to her hideout, hitched her horse, and went inside the little cabin. Her mother had told her that her father once used this place to hide from the enemy, before he’d been given a job by Prince Rupert.
She had killed many, like she promised her old man. When she had made her first kill, she could have sworn she heard her father’s laughter (but she was the one laughing manically), and it continued to ring in her ears that night. If she concentrated now, she could still hear it. But she didn’t want to remember his eerie laugh; she wanted to remember the way he grabbed the back of her head and pushed her face into the cell bars. She closed her eyes and imagined it, as she sat by the fire. She breathed out a sigh of relief, lightly touching the back of her neck on impulse.
“Father, I do hope you’re at peace. I know I am.”
END!