oh. my. god. i hate livejournal. i just typed a million word long thing about my opinion and then it erased it. gahhH!
okay. heres the shorter version.
i had an almost identical argument with a friend very recently. i have the same problem as your friend...but its very hard to gauge whether or not someone needs "help" from self destructive behavior. it all depends on the person. for me, cutting is a release, and something that is incredibly addicting. if i have clear skin devoid of cuts, i feel naked. it feels wrong. it feels like i deserve it, and its only right. but the thing is, i had a boyfriend commit suicide. i know how that feels. i would never ever do that to the people in my life. so just because i feel the need to cut doesnt mean i would ever want to commit suicide. this could be the case here, meaning that she doesnt need to be sent away or anything...but it doesnt mean she doesnt need your help. she needs you to be there for her. you need to remind her that although youre mad you always care about her, but if all you do is get angry all she'll do is get angry back, and could keep cutting because shes lost your support and friendship as well. my friend came at me like you did her and i was infuriated. its a defense mechanism. it makes a lot of sense. but anyway...im just on a freakin tangent arent i? my point here is be careful...you getting angry could push her over that edge you dont want to be anywhere near. stay calm. something that helped me was to snap a rubberband around my wrist really hard when i wanted to. tell her that. help her with alternatives, dont threaten to send her away. jesus christ are you even in high school yet? when you start high school this will all seem like fucking heaven. i dont know whats going on with her to make her feel like this but i know with me its because things are pretty fucking shitty. and if things arent absolutly terrible with her...well then i fear for her future. you guys are 13. she has so much to be happy about and so much shittier situations to get out of. tell her that. and tell her that this random person on your lj cares. i hope that doesnt creep her out...heh. so, sorry that i took up so much room...but this is one of those subjects...that gets me all riled up. i hope everything goes okay.
i really hate getting angry at her, and i've tried to talk to her about it, but i think the reason i get angry is because i care so much about her. she's my best friend, and i would rather have her kill me than kill herself. i'm so scared that i could lose her. the problem is, she says she's okay, but she's not, so how can i believe her when she says she doesnt want to die? i'm so scared of losing her. yeah, we're 13, and i dont have as much to wory about as her, but let me tell you, her life is like a permanent hell most of the time. i used to be a cutter, but on saturday it will be 5 weeks since the last time i cut. the reason i think she needs help is because i know i needed the help, and for awhile i was in denial. but i finally got the help i always knew i wanted and deep down inside, secretly needed, and it helped me a lot. i just figured that it could help her too, even though not everyone is the same. but hey, maybe if it helped me, it could help her too? i really want to prove to her that i still care, and that i'm not leaving her behind or anything, but i'm scared that if i get too close to her again that she's going to do something, and i'm going to get hurt. i know that sounds really selfish, but it's what i'm scared of. i'm scared of losing my best friend. but i guess she needs me to care about her, and if i do, i wont lose her... ♥
okay. heres the shorter version.
i had an almost identical argument with a friend very recently. i have the same problem as your friend...but its very hard to gauge whether or not someone needs "help" from self destructive behavior. it all depends on the person. for me, cutting is a release, and something that is incredibly addicting. if i have clear skin devoid of cuts, i feel naked. it feels wrong. it feels like i deserve it, and its only right. but the thing is, i had a boyfriend commit suicide. i know how that feels. i would never ever do that to the people in my life. so just because i feel the need to cut doesnt mean i would ever want to commit suicide. this could be the case here, meaning that she doesnt need to be sent away or anything...but it doesnt mean she doesnt need your help. she needs you to be there for her. you need to remind her that although youre mad you always care about her, but if all you do is get angry all she'll do is get angry back, and could keep cutting because shes lost your support and friendship as well. my friend came at me like you did her and i was infuriated. its a defense mechanism. it makes a lot of sense. but anyway...im just on a freakin tangent arent i?
my point here is be careful...you getting angry could push her over that edge you dont want to be anywhere near. stay calm. something that helped me was to snap a rubberband around my wrist really hard when i wanted to. tell her that. help her with alternatives, dont threaten to send her away.
jesus christ are you even in high school yet? when you start high school this will all seem like fucking heaven. i dont know whats going on with her to make her feel like this but i know with me its because things are pretty fucking shitty. and if things arent absolutly terrible with her...well then i fear for her future. you guys are 13. she has so much to be happy about and so much shittier situations to get out of. tell her that. and tell her that this random person on your lj cares. i hope that doesnt creep her out...heh.
so, sorry that i took up so much room...but this is one of those subjects...that gets me all riled up.
i hope everything goes okay.
that wasnt really a shorter version. oh well.
anastasia
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yeah, we're 13, and i dont have as much to wory about as her, but let me tell you, her life is like a permanent hell most of the time. i used to be a cutter, but on saturday it will be 5 weeks since the last time i cut. the reason i think she needs help is because i know i needed the help, and for awhile i was in denial. but i finally got the help i always knew i wanted and deep down inside, secretly needed, and it helped me a lot. i just figured that it could help her too, even though not everyone is the same. but hey, maybe if it helped me, it could help her too?
i really want to prove to her that i still care, and that i'm not leaving her behind or anything, but i'm scared that if i get too close to her again that she's going to do something, and i'm going to get hurt. i know that sounds really selfish, but it's what i'm scared of.
i'm scared of losing my best friend. but i guess she needs me to care about her, and if i do, i wont lose her...
♥
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