End of Year Post
End of Year Post
Someone commented that this has been an incredibly intense and rocky year for everyone, it took me a few minutes to realise this included me. My first response was that this has been an amazing year for me, fun and wonderful - and while that's true it has also been one of the most intense and rocky years i've experienced.
The last few years of my life haven't been quiet ones, i've had a lot of intense and overwhelming experiences, both good and bad. I've loved this about my life, but admittedly when i look back over the last few years the hard things, the painful things, the times where i felt such intense hurt and pain that escaping this life seemed like the only possible path to take... these are the times that i remember. Then the good memories floods in, and i smile fondly, and laugh, and am incredibly happy and proud to have lived this life.
This year was different.
This year was hard. Very hard. I felt i was facing challenges i was in no way ready to conquer, for weeks at a time i would feel as if i was drowning with no idea how to surface. If at the beginning of the year i was given a list of all the things i had to endure to get to the end of it i'd have refused, i would have insisted i couldn't do it and ran as far away as i could to ensure i wouldn't have to live even a moment of that pain. Naturally, we're never given a heads up. And so these moments happened, and kept happening and despite the constant belief that i would fail and collapse and never get through it, i survived.
It wasn't the lack of hard times that made this year different, it's that when i look back, this is the first year where the first things i remember are the good things.
Laughing, dancing, cooking, eating, picnics, parties, clubs, cafes, road trips, photos, hotel rooms, hugging, kissing, flying, healing, sleeping, smiling... so many simple and wonderful and magical things that make my heart feel as if it's too big for my chest and my head becomes dizzy with happiness.
This was the year i fell in love. This was the year i moved into my beautiful cottage. This was the year i felt strong enough to return to study. This is the year i got to know my niece. This is the year i became an optimist. This is the year my body started to heal. This is the year i discovered i could do what i once considered impossible. This is the year i stopped being broken.
While i can't say i'm grateful for the painful experiences (i'm still recovering from some of them) i am grateful for what they led to. 2009 was a good year and i smile when i look back on it. I'm happy to be starting 2010 with hope and excitement, not believing that it will be easy, but knowing there will be good times, and i will truly appreciate them ^_^
I wish everyone a very happy New Years Eve, and a very happy, adventurous, exciting and magical year to follow.
<3
Someone commented that this has been an incredibly intense and rocky year for everyone, it took me a few minutes to realise this included me. My first response was that this has been an amazing year for me, fun and wonderful - and while that's true it has also been one of the most intense and rocky years i've experienced.
The last few years of my life haven't been quiet ones, i've had a lot of intense and overwhelming experiences, both good and bad. I've loved this about my life, but admittedly when i look back over the last few years the hard things, the painful things, the times where i felt such intense hurt and pain that escaping this life seemed like the only possible path to take... these are the times that i remember. Then the good memories floods in, and i smile fondly, and laugh, and am incredibly happy and proud to have lived this life.
This year was different.
This year was hard. Very hard. I felt i was facing challenges i was in no way ready to conquer, for weeks at a time i would feel as if i was drowning with no idea how to surface. If at the beginning of the year i was given a list of all the things i had to endure to get to the end of it i'd have refused, i would have insisted i couldn't do it and ran as far away as i could to ensure i wouldn't have to live even a moment of that pain. Naturally, we're never given a heads up. And so these moments happened, and kept happening and despite the constant belief that i would fail and collapse and never get through it, i survived.
It wasn't the lack of hard times that made this year different, it's that when i look back, this is the first year where the first things i remember are the good things.
Laughing, dancing, cooking, eating, picnics, parties, clubs, cafes, road trips, photos, hotel rooms, hugging, kissing, flying, healing, sleeping, smiling... so many simple and wonderful and magical things that make my heart feel as if it's too big for my chest and my head becomes dizzy with happiness.
This was the year i fell in love. This was the year i moved into my beautiful cottage. This was the year i felt strong enough to return to study. This is the year i got to know my niece. This is the year i became an optimist. This is the year my body started to heal. This is the year i discovered i could do what i once considered impossible. This is the year i stopped being broken.
While i can't say i'm grateful for the painful experiences (i'm still recovering from some of them) i am grateful for what they led to. 2009 was a good year and i smile when i look back on it. I'm happy to be starting 2010 with hope and excitement, not believing that it will be easy, but knowing there will be good times, and i will truly appreciate them ^_^
I wish everyone a very happy New Years Eve, and a very happy, adventurous, exciting and magical year to follow.
<3