A Rough Spot
Hello non-existant readers,
I know it's been a while but actually dealing with life has postponed me writing about it.
Those of you who may still read this thing have at least a clue about what's been going on recently and it hasn't been good.
Moving back to G-Vegas with the best intentions spurred the universe into "Oh yeah?" mode apparently. Amid the pile of unexpected expenses and job troubles, we've spent almost a whole month's salary trying to get things right again and still have a little while to dig before we're back in the clear.
Cars, jobs and personal troubles all mixed together in the same few months have definitely put starting a family on hold. One, because I'm not comfortable given our current situation, and two, we're just exhausted having to go all over hell and creation so neither of us is really in the mood. I mean, there's been plenty of give-it-to-me-now sex but no real effort. But I digress...
There's a whole plan at work here that just keeps getting the hiccups. For all of our careful planning and time spent, we still aren't where we thought we'd be. There are more than a few milestones I would like to have experienced by now, both personally and professionally, and I just don't see it happening. I haven't taken the easy way out in anything I've attempted and I've been careful and responsible but it just isn't paying off. I wonder if it's me or if we really have just had a bad run of luck.
Look at me, running off at the... keyboard. You know, my parents just celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary this year and they JUST bought their first house. I love them and I'm happy for them but that can't be us. I can't help but feeling right now that it will be though. I mean, yes, we've only been married two years and yes, we're still young and things have TONS of time to pan out but damn it, I'm impatient and more than ready. Maybe I have to look no further than the mirror to pinpoint my problems or maybe it's a combination of everything but I'm giving myself an ulcer just stewing in it. Not literally; that would be the fucking icing on the cake.
At least there is a light at the end of the tunnel next week. We finally get our Saturn back after over $3k damage was done to it by a suicidal deer. This means that there's one problem off the docket and we get to turn in another problem, too: the stupid rental car they gave me. I've never had so much trouble with what should have been a band-aid. So after throwing money at all of this, at least we get one car back and the other is drivable. If we can just make it until next summer with them, then we can start all over and get a new car. I refuse to have two car payments. I just do.
I actually just started browsing houses again this week, too. WAY too early to think about it but it's nice to get an idea again of what the market looks like. We probably will end up buying here in Greenville just because there's really no reason not to. I like my job and Chris doesn't care either way about where we live. Greenville really does have pretty much everything any other city does and it's nice to be central to his family and mine. Plus, the market turnover here is a little higher than most places due to all the rentals and sales which means lower house prices even for long-term residential deals.
I'm due to go back to the doctor next week for a follow-up on the baby making. I have nothing to report so she'll probably have a suggestion for me at that point and I just don't know if I should tell her we're waiting or if I should go ahead and let her help. While getting pregnant right now would make me feel awesome and be a major positive for us, the worries I have could be a pall. I'll talk to him about it tonight and see what he thinks. I haven't even brought it up in a while but with my appointment being decision time, I guess we should revisit how we both feel.
The positive out of all of this is that Chris and I are closer than ever after supporting each other through all of this. I really am glad I've found my soul mate and I'm glad that if we have to do this, we have each other. He made the comment the other day, after I quoted an extended track line for line on an Incubus album, that it was great to know that we picked the right person because we haven't stopped discovering each other in the slightest. There is always a surprise or a detail I didn't notice before and I'm happy that even though things are bad, we haven't lost sight of those things. Life might suck around us but together, we're just fine. I don't care how bad things get, as long as I'm handling them with Chris, I'll be fine.
May Your Swords Stay Sharp,
Anna B.
I know it's been a while but actually dealing with life has postponed me writing about it.
Those of you who may still read this thing have at least a clue about what's been going on recently and it hasn't been good.
Moving back to G-Vegas with the best intentions spurred the universe into "Oh yeah?" mode apparently. Amid the pile of unexpected expenses and job troubles, we've spent almost a whole month's salary trying to get things right again and still have a little while to dig before we're back in the clear.
Cars, jobs and personal troubles all mixed together in the same few months have definitely put starting a family on hold. One, because I'm not comfortable given our current situation, and two, we're just exhausted having to go all over hell and creation so neither of us is really in the mood. I mean, there's been plenty of give-it-to-me-now sex but no real effort. But I digress...
There's a whole plan at work here that just keeps getting the hiccups. For all of our careful planning and time spent, we still aren't where we thought we'd be. There are more than a few milestones I would like to have experienced by now, both personally and professionally, and I just don't see it happening. I haven't taken the easy way out in anything I've attempted and I've been careful and responsible but it just isn't paying off. I wonder if it's me or if we really have just had a bad run of luck.
Look at me, running off at the... keyboard. You know, my parents just celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary this year and they JUST bought their first house. I love them and I'm happy for them but that can't be us. I can't help but feeling right now that it will be though. I mean, yes, we've only been married two years and yes, we're still young and things have TONS of time to pan out but damn it, I'm impatient and more than ready. Maybe I have to look no further than the mirror to pinpoint my problems or maybe it's a combination of everything but I'm giving myself an ulcer just stewing in it. Not literally; that would be the fucking icing on the cake.
At least there is a light at the end of the tunnel next week. We finally get our Saturn back after over $3k damage was done to it by a suicidal deer. This means that there's one problem off the docket and we get to turn in another problem, too: the stupid rental car they gave me. I've never had so much trouble with what should have been a band-aid. So after throwing money at all of this, at least we get one car back and the other is drivable. If we can just make it until next summer with them, then we can start all over and get a new car. I refuse to have two car payments. I just do.
I actually just started browsing houses again this week, too. WAY too early to think about it but it's nice to get an idea again of what the market looks like. We probably will end up buying here in Greenville just because there's really no reason not to. I like my job and Chris doesn't care either way about where we live. Greenville really does have pretty much everything any other city does and it's nice to be central to his family and mine. Plus, the market turnover here is a little higher than most places due to all the rentals and sales which means lower house prices even for long-term residential deals.
I'm due to go back to the doctor next week for a follow-up on the baby making. I have nothing to report so she'll probably have a suggestion for me at that point and I just don't know if I should tell her we're waiting or if I should go ahead and let her help. While getting pregnant right now would make me feel awesome and be a major positive for us, the worries I have could be a pall. I'll talk to him about it tonight and see what he thinks. I haven't even brought it up in a while but with my appointment being decision time, I guess we should revisit how we both feel.
The positive out of all of this is that Chris and I are closer than ever after supporting each other through all of this. I really am glad I've found my soul mate and I'm glad that if we have to do this, we have each other. He made the comment the other day, after I quoted an extended track line for line on an Incubus album, that it was great to know that we picked the right person because we haven't stopped discovering each other in the slightest. There is always a surprise or a detail I didn't notice before and I'm happy that even though things are bad, we haven't lost sight of those things. Life might suck around us but together, we're just fine. I don't care how bad things get, as long as I'm handling them with Chris, I'll be fine.
May Your Swords Stay Sharp,
Anna B.