What I want??????
I get that question a lot and I never really truly have and answer, because lets face it I have no clue. I mean anybody honestly truly know what they want out of live? Here are some truth of what I think I want. I want a job fro two reasons one because it will get my mom off my ass ,and frankly for everyone who knows me that is what I deal with daily. Second reason really goes with the first if I get a job I can move out and then my mother and I can on longer drive each other crazy, plus I'm sick of being the but of my families jokes. Okay there is also a third reason money which I would love to be able to have without the guilt of mooching off my mother. Now when it comes to school I know I want to finish my daycare Certification and get a 2 year teachers assistance degree, but as for this semester I basically want to be able to get through ASL with out feeling like a total dork. Now on to the hArd what I want question like relationships, friendships, and me in general. Okay lets start with friendships, basically I want to spend more time with the people I love and care about, and less time with bullshit friend who only want to be around you so you can do something for them. I want people to be more honest with example if you don't want me around well then say so don't take the cowards way out and never call me back or answer the phone just tell me, hell this isn't high school people. Okay as for me in general I want to be less afraid of telling people the truth or care what they think in general I think in the long run I have been spending to much time letting other people live my life and frankly it sucks, because I losing who I am and forgetting which side is up. Now on to the hard part relationships to which I say what is wrong with wanting everything that comes with a relationship without having the relationship. I mean lets face it people if we were really truthful with our-self we would realize that most of the drama that we deal with comes from being in a committed relationship. I hear more people complain, wine, bitch, hell you name I either said it or heard it. Basically the problem is we don't talk I mean not honestly with our partner were to scared of what that person might think or say and vice versa. The question is why? I mean should honest communication be the main thing we focus on ,but it's not, it's sex, love, past relationships, but never about ours fears, our needs, our feeling it seems that when you get in to a relationship that the individual lost in the process, well I say fuck that. I want the truth from now on in everything and guys that means if I sleep with you, kiss you or what ever don't say your going to call when your really not. Don't tell me you see this going somewhere when all you really want is ass. Don't fuck with me in general if you have know plans to follow through teasing sucks just as much for girls as it does guys. If you slept with me and no longer want to be friends tell me that, it will hurt way less now then later on. If what goes on is a one night thing be honest about it hell it's easier than avoiding my calls. Furthermore if I hear one more guy tell me that they weren't serious I'm going to smack them don't toy with my feeling I wouldn't do it to you. I also hate , "I was going to tell you sooner but I didn't want to hurt your feeling." Well guess what waiting longer hurt more in long run guys, so gets some bulls and be honest in the first place. Also guys I'm not bullshitting what I've been writting if your honest with me I'll be honest with you. One more thing before I go guys quit getting pissed if you fuck a girl and you find out she been talking about you if she saying good things you might( and this applies to most girls not just me)be able to get a second go if you want plus she saying your good in bed, and isn't that what most guys want to hear from a girl. Now if she say bad thing like he sucked it lasted less than 2 seconds you know that kind of stuff what you need to do here boys is learn from you mistakes and move on unless you fucked her over and she pissed than get over it she will stop bad mouthing soon or later.