(no subject)
"I want a boy.. I need a boy.. I need some looooovin".. when I start to quote Real World, you know things aren't going well lol. Yeah, I'm being my nice teenage girly self and pining over some guy that's way "out of my league". A guy that I don't really even know. I think that I've talked to him for maybe 3 seconds or something last year, but I might not have? I don't really remember, but that doesn't matter right now.. it is a guy that I find extrememly physically attractive, and everyone who's had an opinion on him has said nice things, but I don't personally know him. So I'm thinking, wouldn't that suck if I actually got to know him and I thought he was an ass or our personalities just didn't click or something. It's like, you spend too much of your time thinking about something that you start to think that if only you were together things would be perfect. Seems like that sometimes, like I think about stuff so much that it almost seems true, but hey, it's not..
For now I just have to get up the guts to even fucking talk to him lol. In my head I have the next month planned out how it'll be great, and I haven't even talked to him yet heh. I wouldn't say that I'm shy exactly, or even quiet. It just depends on who I'm around. When I'm around new people I tend to just keep my mouth shut. I always feel like I'm bothering people by talking to them or even being around them.. that's what is making it so hard for me to go up and talk to him. I mean, I have nothing to say. My face would get all red (because it does that ALL THE TIME. And I can never tell which gets really annoying because someone will always point it out, or I'll start thinking about it and that just makes it get redder and redder)yeah, so.. how to talk to him? What the hell to say? When to do it? I see him at school but he's usually with his friends, which would make it so much harder. It's just more people for my face to get red in front of and for me to feel like I'm annoying the shit out of.
Ack.. yeah, that's it really. The cold weather and my favorite season makes me long for somebody sometimes. And I know I have to get over my stupid shyness and talk to people. Actually, not just him, I need more friends and less quietness in general. My life is boring and extremely lonely and I'm going to have to change that.
For now I just have to get up the guts to even fucking talk to him lol. In my head I have the next month planned out how it'll be great, and I haven't even talked to him yet heh. I wouldn't say that I'm shy exactly, or even quiet. It just depends on who I'm around. When I'm around new people I tend to just keep my mouth shut. I always feel like I'm bothering people by talking to them or even being around them.. that's what is making it so hard for me to go up and talk to him. I mean, I have nothing to say. My face would get all red (because it does that ALL THE TIME. And I can never tell which gets really annoying because someone will always point it out, or I'll start thinking about it and that just makes it get redder and redder)yeah, so.. how to talk to him? What the hell to say? When to do it? I see him at school but he's usually with his friends, which would make it so much harder. It's just more people for my face to get red in front of and for me to feel like I'm annoying the shit out of.
Ack.. yeah, that's it really. The cold weather and my favorite season makes me long for somebody sometimes. And I know I have to get over my stupid shyness and talk to people. Actually, not just him, I need more friends and less quietness in general. My life is boring and extremely lonely and I'm going to have to change that.