I feel like something's missing in my life

[luna_paz]

I have that feeling that I'm forgetting something or was suppose to do something and I've been having that feeling for the past week or so. Its so unfullfilling. I feel like I can't get enough sleep or food.

And yet...

I like to say that if one were to be a father they should be the best damn father they could possibly be because...a father can dissapoint a child the way no one else can not even a mother. They are our hero, and when our hero dissapoints us then anyone can. If our hero can't protect us then no one can. And if our hero can't save our lives then
fuck
we have to make sure never to be in the line of danger
shit
not to take risks because no one can save us if not even our hero can

I wanna take risks
be protected
never be dissapointed
_______________________________________________________________________________

There's this mystery that drives me to the conversations on the bench waiting for no one, this calming sensation that makes me mutter, "fuck it" to all the thoughts that pound into my head. God, imagine the high and the senses, ouuu the senses! In the park on a swing, its been done before. I get off by the cool silences and hard passing-by-excuse-me touches. I'm not use to this, so its driving me insane,

The mixture...ouu, the mixture, of them both is making me awkward and insecure.