A Part Of Him [KAI / REITA] - ONE SHOT

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: A Part Of Him
Chapters: One Shot
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: AU, Angst, Human Drama
Warnings:  men x men interaction, curse words
Rating: PG - 15
Pairing: Reita / Kai, Rui / Byou (appeareance)
Bands: The GazettE, ScReW
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: This is a sequel to Yutaka's Best Friend. Enjoy.
Beta: My lovely and dear hyprakktiv ! THANKS A LOT!

A Part Of Him


Man, this … this … this! Simply, completely, and totally … sucked. This time, it was as simple as that, and it was simply, completely and totally his own fault. Given as how the ability of saying “no”, wasn't some magical spell that only Hermione Granger could perform, or the mystical password to open the doors of Moria. Saying “no” was a skill supposedly logical and easily mastered long ago, but he obviously had been absent that day. Because only “Mr. Overly Nice Guy” Akira Suzuki would find himself repeatedly hitting his head against the wall behind the bench he was sitting on, in the soccer changing room, while desperately wondering; Who the fuck accepts to do shit like this?

"Please please please please Akira I really really really don't know who else to ask man ...- begged the taller boy, his body suddenly bent over in a pleading stance, with his hands raised and joined above his head.

"Oi …" Akira quickly interjected with a distressed hiss, while lifting up the begging figure in front of himself ".... no need for that … just … must you do it at the school's shower? Like ... I don't get it ..." exasperatedly inquired the blond, who normally would have had no problem with helping out anyone, whom asked. However, aside from the fact that the request was truly bizarre, his recent mood didn't allow him to be in the presence of couples without feeling the sadistic need to shoot a few. Thus, being asked to act as watchmen while other two were going at it in the school's showers, deserved a hell-to-the-fucking-no reply; but there obviously was a reason for his “Mr. Overly Nice Guy” nickname after all"... like I really … I don't think I can do this Rui … I am sorry, I-" tried to carefully dismiss the blond, but the taller teen newly dove into he bent pleading stance, instantly interrupting the blond.

"I know it is awkward, I know it will be completely uncomfortable, I totally understand that - believe me I do - I'm still very uneasy about this shit too but ..." Rui kept professing "... but please, you are the only one that knows we are gay and had no problem with it … this is a fantasy he'd always had ... to have sex in the school's shower's at least once ..." fiercely explained the taller "... graduation is in a week and unfortunately, our last game is the day before graduation, which sucks more, I know! But it is the last occasion we have for a “justified and not random” access to the showers ..." Rui went on frantically specifying "I really want to give him this last gift, dude please ... it won't be too long … then you can go to your girlfriend, or do whatever, and I'll be eternally in debt to you!" finally shouted the taller, reuniting his hands with a clap above his head.

"I don't have a girlfriend … " Akira forlornly sighed, glimpsing at the still bent figure of the taller teen "... and please stand up! " he swiftly added with a tad of irritation in his tone "... I'll do it, I'll do it … " he then lowly accepted, after which Rui almost lethally assaulted him, apparently not knowing any better way to express his gratitude that hugging him to asphyxiation "... is not like I have anything better to do anyways ..." he then added in a whisper as the suffocation and “thank you” mantra proceeded.

So now there he was, sitting on a bench against the wall right behind the showers, where homosexual magic was taking place with the intensity of a hundred gorillas fighting for dominance, and this had been going on for a hour ... What. The. Fuck.

Though, he truly had no better place to go, and he would have had to stay there for a couple of minutes more anyways. It really wasn't like he had to, but it was the only successful way he had found to avoid having to be around Yutaka more than the minimal necessary, which, had also been the way he'd found out that Rui and his kinky-ass fantasist boyfriend Byou were just like himself.

"Woo … " impulsive stated Akira, as he walked back into the changing room, finding his soccer teammates, Rui and Byou, hungrily devouring their face. The two teens instantly stopped, turning around to tragically daze at the blond, who merely turned towards his locker, and calmly went for his business of retrieving his forgotten wristwatch, which Yutaka had given to him as a present for his birthday the previous year "... you two should be more careful ..." he nonchalantly suggested.

"Y-you ..." stuttered Rui after a few seconds, panic clearly audible in his tone "... you are not going to tell right? " he then managed to inquire, as the other silently remained staring at Akira as well, while tightly holding Rui's arm; no matter what, it seemed they weren't inclined to want to be separated.

"Though I don't see any problem with it … I can see how the rest of the team, or school, might be extremely bothered by it, so don't worry, I have no intention to ..." he serenely replied, closing his locker.

"You … you really … aren't disturbed with this? … Why?" hesitantly questioned Rui, his face not doing a wonderful job at hiding his utter bewilderment, but Akira merely shrugged, and silently smiling at the couple he simply walked away.

"Only me I swear ..." Akira angrily whispered "... only fucking me ..." he added in a lower hiss between his tightly clenched teeth.

"Hey ..." suddenly greeted an extremely familiar voice.

"What are you doing here? ..." instantly and somewhat rudely inquired the blond, while swiftly getting to his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets. He began to walk towards the brunette in order to make him walk away, hoping he wouldn't hear any of the other two's animal-like chants of joy; which was quite impossible even with all the running water.

"I was waiting for you, and got worried … it has been a hour so ..." hesitantly replied the brunette, looking up at the blond with an expression very similar to pain but not quite.

"Waiting for me? ..." replied the blond in slight bemusement" … Why? Aren't you supposed to be with Keiko or something? ..." he quickly inquired, as he kept aggressively taking steps forward, making the other awkwardly step backwards "... You know you absolutely don't want to make ladies wait right? She might get really mad at you again, and I told you I'm not helping you with her anymore" coldly warned the blond. Yutaka was supposed to pick up Keiko everyday soon after practice, which was why Akira would take his time in the changing room, knowing the other would simply dart out, and give up trying to convince him to leave school with him and Keiko.

"We agreed that we were going to spend time with our friends today, since tomorrow is graduation so ..." absently stated the brunette, now curiously trying to look behind the blond's shoulder "... So … I obviously wanted to spend time with you and- ... What's going over there? " he then rapidly dismissed, and suddenly dribbled the blond towards the showers.

"Kai, stop! " quickly called the blond, turning around and dashing towards the brunette.

"No! Why? " laughingly stated the brunette "... Sounds to me like someone is having a little too much fun. Are you covering for them?-" said the brunette, as the blond tried to reach for his arm, but the brunette stealthy moved it away "Who is it? Rui and his mystery girlfriend right? Just want to-woo- suddenly whispered the brunette standing in front of the showers stupefied, seconds after which he was quickly dragged away, and slammed against the wall next to the shower by the blond.

"Which is why when I say no it is no, Kai!" angrily whispered the blond a few centimeters away from the still shocked looking brunette, whom was obviously wasn't expecting Rui's mysterious girlfriend to be a boyfriend, and one of his teammates at that.

"I see … I'm … Wait … you knew, and told me nothing? " indignantly reproached the brunette whispering as well, while looking in pretense offense straight into Akira's eyes, whom right then realized just how close their faces were, he needed to have leaned just a bit further and they would have kissed"... Akira? Oi..." lowly called the brunette, but Akira couldn't respond, and all of sudden he felt himself losing control. All this time he wondered, vividly fantasized, about how kissing those lips would feel … touching him … and there he was, a few centimeters away with his heart on the verge of exploding "... Dude, you're so close ..." lowly smirked the brunette, but Akira was still in his own world, as he firmly placed his left hand against the wall next to Yutaka's face, who now silently stared at the blond perplexedly. Just … a little further … and ...

“I love you” Akira would have whispered, “I love you too” would have been Yutaka's smiling reply. Then, Akira would have taken his hand and they would have begun to run, far-far away; away from Keiko, away from their present future, away from everything that constantly threatened to take the brunette away from him “That can't possibly be” would then say Yutaka stopping their run “There is nobody I love more than you, so no matter what, no matter who, I'll never be separated from you. I want to be with you, forever” and then they would look into each other's eyes for a while, then finally, as they lean … just a little further ... their lips would innocently touch, their bodies would sensually move, the world would gratefully end, and Akira would wake up happy for a second. But this wasn't one of his dreams.

"You should have told me before, if you wanted to spend time with me ..." dejectedly stated the blond while dropping himself on the bench next to them, after which he rubbed his face into both of his hands, as he stared in front of himself.

"I ..." lowly began the brunette, who was still standing against he wall "... I was afraid you'd come up with some excuse … and not want to ..." finally expressed Yutaka, sounding too serious for the blond's ear to bear.

"Why would I have-" Akira tried to calmly reply, but was abruptly interrupted by the brunette.

"The same way you've done in the past months, like I wouldn't notice ..." apathetically replied the brunette "... How stupid do you think I am? You've been avoi-" Yutaka then bitterly added still standing unmoving against the wall, fiercely lifting off it during the last part of what seemed like an accusation, but was interrupted by a couple of laughing voices coming out the shower.

"Y-Yutaka … what's up …?" awkwardly stated Rui, worryingly looking at Reita, who merely stood up from the bench, and began to walk away.

"It's okay ..." calmly reassured Byou, holding Rui be the arm "School is over anyways, does it really matter anymore? " he stated with a smile, at which the taller teen merely smirked, shaking his head in reply.

"Thank you Akira! " then shouted Rui, before the blond could make it out of the door, and managed to raise his hand to dejectedly wave back at there, while Yutaka took to chasing after him, after having politely bowed at the two.

"Akira wait! " called out Yutaka as he rushed out to join blond, whom however merely kept walking.

He really hadn't pictured having to see Yutaka after the game today. In his head, it was all supposed to go as usual; Yutaka was supposed to have ran to his girlfriend, whereas he was supposed to mop in the changing room for a while, and then take it all home, with the slight exception that tonight he would have also have to think about how he was going to avoid the brunette for graduation. That was how he had planned his day. The fact that he was suddenly feeling guilty for ignoring the brunette, who was silently walking behind him, made the whole situation much worse. Much. Worse."... so ... tomorrow is graduation uh? ..." finally stated the brunette, after a whole five minutes of silent walking behind the blond, who merely hummed in agreement "... I was thinking about it yesterday … and I realized that I don't even know where you are going after this, which is bad enough … since you are my best friend and all ..." he nervously pointed out, while smirking, as they kept walking, this time receiving no sort of reply from the blond "... and this, might sound stupid, but the more I thought about it, the more it felt as if you were just going to suddenly disappear after graduation … isn't that crazy?" he commented, with a awkwardly sad laughter.

"Is it? ..." coldly replied Akira with a slight sigh, stopping on his tracks to turn around and look at the brunette, whom had instantly stopped once he had, with his head lowered towards the ground. Just, what in the hell was he trying to do? The mere thought of having to stay another who-knew-how-many years around Yutaka, with such a deep and almost unhealthy unrequited love, had been dreadful enough, that even though he knew the distance would have hurt him to an unimaginable extent; time would have eventually healed the wound which were sure to never close if he were to be around him. Thus true, he purposely hadn't told the brunette about his future plans, because true, he was just going to pick up and permanently disappear from his life. That was the plan, however, by acting the way he was doing at the moment, there would have been no way that Yutaka wouldn't have began to worry about him, because when Keiko wasn't around, when it was just the two of them, things were the way they'd always been, with the world always seemed to turn the right way; one thinking of and completely aware of the other "Ah … sorry! " he quickly apologized with his best impersonation of a smile "... I guess I am just really nervous for graduation you know... I kinda don't want to graduate" he quickly added, gladly observing the brunette slowly lift his head, and attempting something akin to a smile as well; he didn't seem convinced, but for the moment that was all he could do.

"I know right?! ..." agreed the brunette "... so let's not waste time ... … shall we go then? It's been a while since you've been to my place, and mom is always asking about you ..." he then proposed in a seemingly cheerful tone, as he resumed his walk, passing in front of the blond "... I actually happened to have the a copy of that game we were talking about the other day!" he then excitedly announced.

"Oh really? How did you ..." calmly stated the blond feign interest.

"Well it appears there are some people that just can't resist to my charms, you know? " he smugly laughed.

"Yeah, strangely enough, I can believe that … " stated the blond with a smirk, as they finally approached the station "... damn …" apathetically expressed the blond, observing all the people coming and going from the station "... I don't know why, but I thought it would be less packed today … oh well ..." he then shrugged, as they got their tickets, and walked towards their platform.

"Anything you want to eat? " quickly inquired Yutaka, as they stood waiting for the train, in the usual sea of people waiting as well "We could try that new Chinese restaurant next to my house, or … we could eat the usual … just you know ..." kept proposing the brunette, his voice and expression suddenly turning slightly sorrowful "... for old time sakes" he then added, smiling up at the blond, who was standing next to him, his hands customary into his pocket, and pretending to give said options a serious thought; for he had no intention of either eating with him, or going to his house at that. At the moment, he was thinking about how to ditch him, and also maybe, just maybe, he would also … "Akira? … " calmly called the brunette.

"Uh?" was all that the blond's reflexes allowed him to reply, as he turned to regard the brunette.

"You are spacing out again ..." dejectedly informed the brunette, resignedly lowering his face, as they both newly turned silent. Why had it suddenly turned this way? Why did it feel so uncomfortable to even talk to him the way they used to, the way he had been forcing himself to, had he finally reached his limit?

"The train is here! - exclaimed Akira, as he tried to avoid being pushed and tossed by the other passenger, and momentarily freezing on his spot, feeling his hand being grabbed from behind, and also knowing exactly the owner of said hand. Quickly recollecting his hand, he pushed himself through the mass of people, holding tightly holding said hand, until he finally managed to get them but inside "... well, this is … " nonchalantly observed the blond, in reaction to their positions, which he couldn't quite ignore even if he tried, given as to how he was his back was being pressed against the trains doors, and Yutaka was facing him, and being pressed against himself., which was perfect; now, all he could hope for was to not get aroused. It wasn't like the person pressing against his crotch was his eternal crush or anything … yeah.

"It is okay … we are just two stops away so … unless, if you really can't stand it, we can stop at the next and go to your house ..." proposed Yutaka, which gave Akira an idea as to how make best advantage of the situation. There were twenty minutes left towards the first stop, his stop, then in another ten, it would have been the brunette. Raising his hand to try and grab one of the ceiling-hangers, he caught one, and stared at the digital watch above the opposite train door, silently pondering.

"It's fine … " Akira absently replied "... we'll … go to your place - he as absently added, and remained silent, as he kept reflecting, or rather, reviewing. Word per word was frantically rushing his mind, making not much sense all in all, but there was no turning back in his mind. It was the worst place to do such a thing, definitely bad taste, and what would have followed was probably even worse, but, at least in his head, and mostly heart, there was not helping it any more.

"Ah! ..." suddenly exclaimed Yutaka in a low tone "... don't you like this song? What's its name … Calm Envy right? By … The Gazette? " guessed the brunette, receiving a gentle agreeing smile, whom listening to the song as well, couldn't help but also smirk at the sad irony of the moment, and deciding it the perfect moment to act, he mentally breathed, and carefully leaned closer to the brunette's ear, while still monitoring the time facing him.

"I ..." lowly began the blond, taking a short pause and resuming " … had initially decided not to tell you any of what I am about to ..." Akira whispered into the brunette's ear "... as you had felt, I had all the intention of disappearing after graduation, telling you not a single word, not even a goodbye, but you are being oddly persistent so I will clue you into something, before I go ahead and still vanish from your life.” firmly stated the blond, sounding much more spiteful and cynical than he had intended, but he somehow couldn't control his mouth; words, emotions, were just pouring out.

"W-what?" hesitantly attempted the brunette, but was quickly cut off by the blond who resumed, in his self-annihilating plan.

"I've stopped being your friend long time now ..." Akira coldly informed, and receiving no reply from the brunette he continued "... I've stopped wanting to play games with you, nonchalantly spend time with you, even just the mere sight of you hurts so much … you can't even begin to imagine … " vividly expressed the blond proceeding in his whispering tone, while feeling the brunette’s breathing pace increase on his own chest, in the same way he could feel both their heart-beats, which were beating at the same frantic pace "Even now, your being so close to me is suffocating, my mind and body are in such a turmoil it's not even funny and all I can think of is … is ... if I only I could touch you, just once … touch you … the way Keiko would. Now, can you picture that? ..." he finally stated feeling the brunette's heartbeat pace even faster if possible "Surprised uh? I was too when I realized, but it was too late, you and Keiko were already you and Keiko, and there was the end of a dream that was already going to be impossible right from the start given to the nature of our genders …" sarcastically continued the blond, looking up at the watch in front of himself, and trying not to care a bit about the trembling being on his chest "... I love you Yutaka ..." he then finally confessed, his voice slightly shaky " ... not as a friend, and not even in the way Keiko does … because I doubt she feels like dying every time she is next to you … so … " he then tried to hurry up knowing the next stop to getting close ".... so you see why I can't be with you the way you want me to … I wouldn't be able to stand it, and I am sorry, for this selfish act, and for not being the strong friend you thought you had … I am sorry ..." he whispered once more, trying to keep himself together, as the train began to slow down "... thanks for these wonderful three years … I'll never forget you" he concluded, somehow managing a tear-devoid smile, and as the doors of the train opened, he allowed everyone that needed to get off leave, and as soon as the door seemed ready to close, he followed.

Without looking back, he then speed-walked out of the station, hands in his pockets, head held high, tears streaming. It was over. It was finally over, and it hurt more than he had thought, but there was no turning back anyways. Not even a few steps out of the station, his cell phone began to rang,with his trembling hands he brought it out of his jeans' pockets, and after seeing Yutaka's name flash on the screen, with a simple swap of his index finger he unlocked the keyboard, silenced the call, and turned his cell phone off. He needed to be strong all the way to the end. Once home, he walked straight into his room, and dropped on his bed in the complete darkness. His parents weren't home, all the better, he could keep sulking, undisturbed, into the most depressive state he'd ever been in.

Though his tears had stopped, why did his pain feel unquenchable? It kept hurting, more and more, it was so painful that if he hadn't known better, he thought he was about to have a heart-attack. It hurt so much that he began to wonder why he even did something so rash, so unasked for, and so stupid. Why couldn't have he been satisfied with having Yutaka as a friend, instead of just throwing everything away the way he did, which was what his brain was trying to convince him of now; after the fact; that it would have been better than nothing.

The way he was feeling at the moment, he knew there was no way he would be able to attend graduation, and if he kept it up, he wouldn't even have to act to convince his parents that he wasn't feeling alright. Paralyzed as he was face down on his bed, he began to feel numb, and just to prove that he wasn’t dead, he lifted his right arm to check what time it was, and found himself dreadfully shocked to realize that barely an hour had passed since he had gotten back home. How many more hours of this was he going to be able to somewhat sanely handle? He had no idea, in the same way he had no idea as to why anyone would be banging on the front of his door yelling his name so loudly. What the …

"Akira! Open up! Open up! ..." kept bellowing the voice, which got louder and louder, as he got closer to his front door "How dare you! You coward! Open this fucking door!" yelled a voice that was almost unrecognizable, but of whose owner he had no doubt, as he quickly reached for the door knob, swinging the door open, worried about the ruckus and the neighbors "You!" angrily screamed a tear-drenched Yutaka, as the blond quickly dragged him inside closing the door behind themselves.

"Are you crazy?! " angrily hissed the blond "Were you trying to get us kicked out?! " he added, but was interrupted by the brunette, who apparently didn't care about the Suzuki's possible eviction as he kept yelling, following a very well placed blow, considering the darkness, directed towards the blond's right cheek, which caught him completely unaware, and making him stumble to the ground.

"What was that just before?! " angrily screamed the brunette,silently waiting for an answer, from incredibly shocked Akira, who was silently dazing at the semi-dark figure of the brunette, until he lowered his head and replied in a low tone.

"It is exactly what I said …" plainly stated the blond.

"And? ..." angrily retorted the brunette.

"And what? What do you want from me?" Annoyingly stated the blond getting up from his floor.

"What I want from you? ..." indignantly retorted the brunette, walking closer to the blond - What did you want from me?! " quickly added the brunette, slightly raising his voice, as if correcting the blond on his previous statement "Did you really think, I was going to just let you blurt out all that and just vanish just like that?! " he rhetorically inquired the blond, whom was suddenly feeling a vague sense of anger arising in himself as well.

"You heard what I had to say! " exclaimed the blond "... Do. You. Not. See. The. Problem?" Slowly and firmly stated the blond, taking a few steps closer as well, while massaging his hurt cheek.

"Yes I do! " shouted Yutaka "... it is standing right in front of me! " he quickly yelled, making the blond impulsively open his mouth to retort something, but nothing made it out "... You are the problem Akira, always trying to be the tragic hero, always trying to do the best all by your tragic self, did you really think of me when you decided it the best to disappear on me? Uh?! did you? "

"Yes I did - Akira bluntly replied.

"No you didn't! " yelled the brunette, his voice this time shaking in a clear indication that he was crying "... if you had, you would have known just how much it hurt to hear you trying to dismiss me the way you did, how much it hurt to see you just walk out on me like that, how much it hurt ... just the thought of never seeing you again!" blurted out the brunette, leaving the blond entirely speechless, and nervously wondering what exactly he were to do with what had just been said "... and yes, stupid of my for not having noticed before, stupid of me for making all of this drag to this point when I felt something was wrong but … but … but ..." he then confusingly stopped, hesitantly taking a step closer to the blond "... As I thought about it, as all the scenario kept unfolding in my head and ..." he newly stopped, raising his gaze towards Akira's shining in the dark orbs "... I'd chose you over Keiko … I am choosing you over anyone right now … because I … I just can't lose you, you ..." momentarily paused the brunette, his voice lowering, as his tears kept streaming "... you are a part of me - he whispered "... so please don't leave me - he concluded, as a speechless and unmoving Akira trembled in his spot, wondering if it were best to start crying and believe that this wasn't a dream, or faint and wake up to his usual reality. Was this really happening? "... Say something ..." lowly pressed the brunette in-between tears.

"I ..." attempted the blond, still too shocked for any better reaction. Never in a million years, would he have thought such a day would come, and he was so happy, he didn't even know how to express it, in the confusion of his mind "... Can … can I kiss you? " was all that suddenly came out of his mouth "... I mean, no I-" he then tried to correct himself but was interrupted by the brunette.

"Okay ..." lowly consented Yutaka, nervously biting his lower lip, at which Akira silently blinked for a second. Not needing to be told twice, he ignored the aggressive pounding of his heart the best he could, and lowering over the brunette face, he carefully placed his lips over Yutaka's, and just how much underrated all his dreams were compared to this moment, he couldn’t even begin to express. Feeling slightly daring, and not exactly capable of control himself, Akira then wrapped his arms around the brunette, while depending their kiss with extreme caution, fearing that the other might be instantly repulsed by having another man's tongue touch his, but given the immediate positive response all that he had to worry about next were his reserve of oxygen "... Now I see your lady-killer fame .." lowly whispered the brunette at the end of their mouth-touring, making the taller lightly smirk.

"I know this might sound half-assed coming from me …" frankly stated the blond "... what … will we do next, like with Keiko for example ..." hesitantly inquired the blond, knowing that feeling sorry for the girl at the moment, made him less than an ass, but couldn't help that either.

"I don't know ..." honestly replied the brunette "... but we'll figure out something, just don't leave me ..." Yutaka reinforced " … the rest we'll take care of it when it comes, together - he concluded, receiving a nod by Akira, whom then silently embraced him.

How many were the people that got to experience what he just had, Akira had no clue, and he wasn't even sure whether he were to have considered this a miracle, given that according to himself the magnitude of what just happened seemed to greatly exceed the divine event. As he thought about it, he simply didn't know a lot of things period, yet, and he knew he was about to sound like a poor little bitch for thinking the following but …

Man … having to face a most likely furious girl during one's high school graduation … didn't that suck?! Oh well, whatever, at the moment, it simply, completely and totally didn't matter.

AN: There goes your happy ending people (>

Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-