HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka : CHAPTER 7 PART 1

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka
Chapters: 7.1/??
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human drama, romance, war, angst.
Warnings:  men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence, incest.
Rating: from PG -15 to NC-17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Revealing this might spoil the story just yet ... suggest looking at the character list (^_^)!
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Nightmare, An Cafe', Alice Nine, Kra, SuG.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary:
  MAIN


CHAPTER 6 PART 2

A/N: I apologize for the delay for all the updates of all my fictions, it's been rather busy over here, and things happened all over the place, some made me happy, some made me angry ( ... which angry ones, made me write Somewhere I ...), but here we are again, school started, we are all busy, but heck yeah I'll still be writing, cause yes, writing makes me happy, and I really enjoy it. So here is chapter seven for you all, it has 3 part so brace yourselves. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! (going to work on part 3 ...* runs * )

Yutaka hadn't slept, or perhaps he had never been awake in the first place. Maybe he had dreamed the whole happening, maybe if he opened his eyes, he would find himself in his little dorm room in Inverness, under the thin but yet safe covers of his old and tiny bed. However, as he slowly brought up his fingers to his eyes, his shaky digits soon ran through the rough cloth of his blindfold, confirming the reality of it all.

It could have been morning, it could have been night again, but because of the blindfold, which was still safely guarding the only part of his body that hadn't been tampered with, he couldn't discern, and he didn't care to either. He hadn't even bothered to cover his body throughout the entire night, which given its usual feeble conditions, most have certainly caught a cold, for he was sure the room had dropped in temperature sometime, but he couldn't feel it, either physical or emotional; he couldn't feel anything. It was almost as if he had suddenly found himself in the same position of one of the patients he himself used to treat, where his body and brain had somehow shut out everything from reaching him.

Thus, he did just that, he thought himself as a patient and began asking himself the usual round of insultingly obvious questions.

… Anger? … lots of it … Vengeance? ... maybe ... Fear? … always ...

However, as he went through the imaginary interrogatory, he realized that he was merely giving the most appropriate and expected answer, he didn't mean it, any of it, because the truth still was that he simply didn't feel anything.

Yet he could clearly hear his unspoken pleas crying out in his head, begging him to get up, to cover himself, to do something, anything. But no muscle in his body seemed to be connected to his brain, except now, for his lips, which performed a little smirk to they own accord, as his thinking muscle ceased his attempts of giving any command, and instead tried to imagine what kind of state he could have fallen into, if he had actually been raped. Was there even a worse condition to fall into? Exactly how powerless and fragile a person was he, how long was he going to remain the gullible, ever-trusting being that he was, how long was he going to overlook the sense of uselessness, sickness and pity he felt for himself each day since he had set foot into this house?

-Mr. Uke …?- suddenly spoke a gentle voice, which had followed two light knocks - … Mr Uke? ...- persisted the voice not hearing the reply, which the brunette appeared not yet capable of proffering, given the way his mouth weakly opened emitting no sound, as he identified the owner of the voice to be Kazuhiro.

-It is almost afternoon … and … well ... is everything alright? … Mr. Uke?- cautiously proceeded the blonde.

Say something … say something … say something … his brain had no intention of allowing the blonde see him in such conditions, and had no interested in allowing the weak human being it had happened to reside in, becoming even further pathetic, if that were even possible at this point. However, as expected, all that came out of his brain spurring, was a shiver, as he closed himself even further into his fetal position, feeling himself almost on the verge of tears.

-I … am really worried Mr. Uke … - resumed the blonde

-He might just be sleeping, lets go ...- interjected a second voice -remember my party? last night? All the lights and people?... - inquired a second voice in a tone of feign stupidity, which, given the nature of the question, could have been none but Takeru's - …he must have drank or something … let's go~!- whined the youngest

-I am worried Keru, now please be quiet- gently explained the older -... Mr. Uke? … I am going to come in now … and I hope you'll forgive me for the intrusion … but we are all men anyways … so no need of being bashful in case you so happened to be naked or anything ...- explained Kazuhiro's voice with a light giggle - … But I am going to give you a last chance to save yourself from any embarrassment, I will count until three, if I don't hear anything, I will open the door ...- concluded the elder, as Takeru angrily mumbled something the brunette couldn't comprehend.

-One ...-

Don't! Mentally cried out Yutaka Please don't! …

-... two ...-

… please don't… don't coming, don't see me like this …

-... three- concluded the voice, as the brunette could hear the door to his room slowly open, a couple of steps coming forth, and abruptly stopping.

-M-mr. Uke ...- whispered the shocked voice of one of the two, who suddenly ran towards him, swiftly grabbing the sheets on his bed, covering his unclothed and trembling body, and placing his own on the brunette's, as if trying to provide some sort of warmth.

-Oh God … - whispered Kazuhiro in a deeply pained and trembling voice, as the brunette felt the blindfold being gently but swiftly untied by the man -... Mr. Uke, … what happened? ...who ...- he then questioned in a firm yet shaky voice, kindly bringing the man to a sit up position.

As he was brought up, he gently sought shelter into the offered bedsheets, while he slowly opened his eyes, blinking a couple of times to get used to the light of the room, and as slowly, he blankly stared in Kazuhiro's direction vaguely noticing the blonde's lucid orbs, turning towards the room's entrance, where his gaze stopped on Takeru, who was absently standing by the opened entrance.

-Was this your doing?!- shouted the elder blonde, swiftly following Yutaka's gaze direction, and glaring at the younger blonde.

-Don't look at me ...- nonchalantly spat the younger -... for once ... I have nothing to do with this- assured the younger rolling his eyes -... though I wish I did ...- he loudly whispered, locking eyes with the sudden widened and stupefied ones of the apprentice- in fact ...- he then added - … I have been a good boy for almost half a day. Half a day! … lord have mercy!- he sighed, widening his own eyes in pretense shock, embracing himself, while simulating a shiver - … I absolutely need to go do something about it … yes I must do something about it- whispered the younger, nodding in agreement with himself -... yup that's exactly what I'll do- he concluded, as he tried to leave the room

-For heaven's sake Takeru ...- indignantly whispered Kazuhiro stupefyingly staring at the younger - this is not a laughing matter … - he concluded in a higher and stern tone, as the younger stopped in his track, and slowly turned towards the elder, gazing at him, as if he hadn't heard clearly.

-Huh?- he then challengingly spat

-T-the … The only thing you are going to do right now- hesitantly resumed the elder, with an expression that clearly pointed out his uneasiness in having to retort, as he stood up, glaring at the younger - is calling someone to get Mr. Uke's bath ready!- he concluded yelling - Was I clear?!- he swiftly added not seeing any reaction from Takeru, whose eyes suddenly widened in apparent shock for the brother's sudden acquired temper. However, a sudden smirk from the younger, proved that he hadn't been affected in the least, as he lowered and shook his head in pretense disbelieve.

-You? … giving orders? - skeptically spat the younger in a low tone- Trying to take a stand after all these years of silently watching as we disposed of all the scum that have been trying to pollute our environment? ...- he began to point out, slowly raising his head, as he sternly stared at the older - … now ... you want to be the good Samaritan? … for him?- he concluded, lightly nodding his head in the direction of the bed-sheet wrapped up and head-lowered brunette.

-He is different Takeru ...- cried out the elder, impulsively pointing his index at the brunette- … can't you see that … can't you feel it? … he really wants to help ...- he then whispered, sadly looking at the younger, who merely rolled his eyes, and chuckled

-Wow … you must have woken up thinking you were someone else, uh? … - calmly stated the younger -... just don't think that this your sudden change makes you any better than any of us- he swiftly added, maintaining his gaze on the blonde, who suddenly lowered his pointed arm, and head.

- … Go and do what I just asked you to … please- requested Kazuhiro in a low tone, keeping his head down - … now- he restated, as the younger performed a mock bow, and calmly left the room, harshly banging the door behind himself, startling the both remaining people in the room, who could hear Takeru yelling out at some servant.

-I ...- began the blonde, as Yutaka slowly brought his head up, to observe the standing blonde, who was swiftly clearing off what seemed like tears from both eyes - I... shall … go get something to eat for you Mr. Uke... - he then stated trying to smile at the brunette, but not really looking at him -I shall bring it up myself … you are not to worry … - he assured with a tinge of a brighter smile - .. but maybe I'll bring out some clot- he tried to say, directing himself to the apprentice closet.

-N-no ...- weakly interjected the brunette -no need … to - continued Yutaka, slowly turning to look at the blonde -I will do it myself ...- he then whispered, newly lowering his gaze.

-Understood … - sadly replied the blonde - well then … I shall be back with food- he then precised, bowing at the brunette, and racing out of the room.

Yutaka carefully watched the blonde leave, along with the warmth and concern the brunette had felt at his arrival, which had suddenly turned into discomfort and uncertainty, after Takeru's remarks, whose true nature, which the apprentice had in many occasions already sensed, had suddenly come out; was there any other person in the house that wanted to join the I despise Yutaka club?

Tightly holding on to his cover, he carefully pulled out its bottom part from beneath the matress, and wobbly got out of his bed, walking towards his wardrobe. Opening the wooden doors of the huge brown piece of furniture, he just stood and stared at its contents, as if they were going to choose themselves, and fly at him. A few seconds of absently gazing later, he stretched a hand and began aimlessly roaming through his hanged clothes, after all, what was the point in spending time in attentively picking out anything, when there was someone out there, who wanted to unscrupulously take him out of them?

-The bath is ready Mr.Uke - politely announce the still unfamiliar voice of an attendant, which had knocked three times on the door connecting to his bathroom. Yutaka didn't reply, he merely nodded as if the attendant could see him, and stayed unmoving, carefully listening to the sound of the bathroom's main door close as the attendant exited seconds later. The brunette, swiftly looked back towards the entrance of is own room, considering locking it, but remembering that Kazuhiro were to be there any time soon, he dropped the idea, in case he were still to be in the bathroom.

He then grabbed the first clothes his hands landed on, closing the wardrobe, and directing himself to his bathroom, he dropped the clothes on the bed, and held tighter, if possible, to the white sheets that were surrounding his still naked body. He gently opened the door to the bathroom, slowly stretching his head into it, carefully checking its surroundings, as if awaiting someone to magically appear out of nowhere. The bathroom was rather spacious for the use of a single person, but he was now used to the typical waste of space of the Hayashi manor. The main color was white, and in the middle of it was his oversized white bathtub, which was held up by four golden legs, on the white and gray porcelain floor.

Fully stepping into the bathroom, his sight immediately abandoned their patrolling job, when his nose was suddenly attacked by the strong odor of something rather familiar coming from his white bathtub. The stench became stronger the more he got closer to the tub, as his heartbeat steadily increased realizing the only thing that could smell in that way. Reaching his destination, he finally saw the content of his bathtub, and swiftly closed his mouth with one hand, feeling a nauseous wave threatening to emerge; … blood. He took a few steps backwards in utter shock and disgust, still tightly holding his mouth, and apparently, he had been so appalled that he hadn't noticed the arrival of a person inside the room.

-Is the water not of your liking? … Mr. Uke- questioned said person in pretense concern, as the brunette swiftly turned around to find Takeru leaning on the door connecting to his room; he should have locked the main bedroom door after all.

Yutaka slowly turned his head around to observe the dark red liquid, wondering exactly where all that blood could have come from, and suddenly looked away, not wanting to incite the still present vomiting wave to take over, and at the same time he calmly made sure that his bed-sheet was still covering every inch of his body.

-Something wrong? … - jokingly inquired the younger, firmly staring at the gaze averting brunette -This quite impressive I must say… First a unusual rebellious brother, now a rather silent apprentice ...- observed the younger, calmly walking closer - … not even y-your u-usual stammering ...- mimicked the younger, as he stopped right in front of the elder - not that I care, since I just need you to listen to me- pointed out the younger, strongly pushing the brunette, who stumbled few steps backwards, dangerously close to the bloody bathtub.

-Thanks to you, Kazuhiro is now angry at me ...- commenced the younger, nonchalantly staring at the fingernails in one of his hands - … you see, Kazuhiro never protest, never had anything to say against any of the things we do, and now he is displeased with me, and it annoys me to have him spiteful in my regards ... it annoys me, tremendously - angrily breathed out the younger, still trying to keep his composure.

-I am sorry ...- plainly whispered Yutaka, his head lowered almost apologetically, but in his voice there was no trace of emotions, no stammering; nothing.

-But that is not the point anyway, because you see ...- continued the younger not acknowledging the elder's apology, and slowly bridging their gap - you … your existence itself, out of all the idiots that have landed in this house … - precised the younger, holding his forehead as his apt-to-be-angry elder brother was so often apt to - it innervates me, and this is not mere anger, nor mere disgust … no ...- he continued in his explanation walking around the apprentice, and the white and red tub - You see, all the benefactors that have been coming here, to try and save Kazamasa's soul from the depths of hell-

-I don't believe Kazamasa to be posses- suddenly interjected the brunette, whose head was still lowered, but was abruptly interrupted as well

-I don't give a damn about what you believe or not … - harshly precised the blond, stopping his walk, and turning to look a the brunette from the other side of the tube - but since you don't seem to care about my explanation either, I'll get straight to the point- he concluded walking up to the bathtub to the point he could touch it, and leaned over it, firmly staring at the apprentice.

-I hate you - he plainly and stated, slowly emphasizing every word in the sentence - I hate people like you, who are so innocent and unawares of their surrounding - began the younger, almost hissing as he resumed his walk in the brunette's direction -people like you that act as if the world were this magical place where everything is just going to happily follow its course, where at the end of the day, everything will be just fine with a Sunday Ave Maria, and a cross around a neck - paused the younger, leaning his head trying to meet the brunette's eyes under his lowered head.

-The way you trust everything and everyone ... what is wrong with you? - he angrily spat, abruptly pushing up the brunette's head with the tip of his finger, and was now gazing in the apprentice's absent stare -were you not in class when they thought the difference between fairy-tale and reality?-

Yutaka merely apathetically stared at the composedly angered blonde, Takeru had so much repressed resentment that every sentence, every word, felt like a stab as he continued to simply stand there, staring at younger, hoping for the situation not to deteriorate.

-Some of the rumors you may have heard about our so called “House of sin”- Resumed the younger, making a double quote sign with his fingers, when pronouncing the sentence House of sin - may an my not be true … but it is very true that we made all the doctors or other sort of helpers quickly run a way from here- he precised looking outside the window behind the apprentice.

-However, I will not let you go so easily- he then resumed, placing his irate orbs on the apprentice -I will keep you here, and have fun watching you succumb, I will enjoy your suffering, bask in your desperation - continued the younger, who then got closer, at a good whispering distance.

-Given that you are walking straight, I must assume they only toyed with you- he then whispered-If it had been me … -he announced in another whisper, pausing - … I would have raped you- he concluded in a hiss, strongly pushing the brunette, who, caught off guard, tried to hold himself on an imaginary object int the air, as he quickly landed into the tub, with his now soaked red bed-sheets, red stained porcelain floor, and a readily back-tracking Takeru, who tried to avoid the major splash.

-Mr. Uke, I am back ... - suddenly yelled a voice from his room -I bought some food ...-

-... but I don't top, so I guess you still would have been lucky anyway, now would you have not?- he then smirked, quickly wiping off some drops of the red liquid that had spattered on his face, while walking towards the main entrance of the bathroom, as the brunette quickly emerged from the bloody tub - but I can easily find somebody who does ...- he winked at the apprentice who was firmly holding himself on one side of the tub, gasping for air, swiftly disappearing behind the door, leaving the brunette absently staring at the now closed door, before being startled by a knock coming from the connecting one.

-Mr. Uke? Is everything alright in there?- Kazuhiro inquired, as the brunette impulsively tried to clean his reddened face, with his as well reddened hands, at the sight of which, whatever was still roving in his stomach forcefully made its way out of the brunette mouth, straight to the stained porcelain floor. The sound of his regurgitating must have been loud enough for Kazuhiro to hear, as the apprentice slowly lifted his head and lightly turned it backwards, at the sound of a door slamming open.

The blonde swiftly walked over to the side of the bathroom and grabbed the first two towels he found, and as quickly, he walked back to the center of the room, and bent over the apprentice using one towel to carefully clean his face and mouth, as the brunette remained impassively staring at the now silently crying blonde, who then threw the used towel on the floor, and after helping him come out of the bloody bathtub, he tied the second towel around the apprentice.

-M-most of it ...- suddenly commenced the blonde in a slightly cracked voice - … is wine … and the blood part of it ...- continued the blonde - .. is animal's b-blood- concluded the elder with a tiny sob, as they walked towards the entrance, where a absent looking Kazamasa was standing right in the middle of it.

-S-shou? ...- kindly called the blonde -... Shou … - continued the blonde, hoping the younger hadn't fallen in one of his states of trans, having forgot to previously push the younger away from the bloody site - … it's alright Shou … this is just … one of Keru's stupid pranks ...- he continued, but the younger showed no sign of acknowledgment.

The moment Yutaka's absent gaze fell on the younger blonde, something had suddenly clicked in his brain.

-I am fine ...- he suddenly stated as he kept staring at the younger as if he had seen him for the first time in his life. The sight of Kazamasa, his apathetic gaze, his silence, his immobility, had suddenly woke him up from his own trance, and for the first time since the previous night, he was finally feeling something; fear.

Granted it wasn't the best of emotions, but it was sufficient enough to make him realize, he didn't want to end up like the young blonde, who he was still supposed to take care of in the first place.

-S-see? ...- he continued releasing himself from the now also drenched blonde - … I am okay ...- he then whispered with a weak smile, holding tight to his towel.

Kazamasa didn't reply or look back, he simply nodded once and calmly walked out their way.

-Thank you …- stated Yutaka, looking back at the younger, who nodded once more.

-I am going to get another bath ready ... - announced Kazuhiro in a low tone, swiftly drying up his tears - … I will be right back, I promise- he concluded rushing out of the room.

Yutaka, who was standing unmoving in the middle of his bedroom, was now gazing at Kazamasa, feeling a little of an accomplishment in having somehow being able to reach the younger, wondering whether his present state had been the factor that allowed their momentary connection. If so, then the younger most have somehow experienced something atrocious enough, at a very early age that was somehow overlooked, and had plunged him into the stated he was now.

However, how was he going to ask the younger without making him have to think back to the dreadful moment, if any, without risking his falling even deeper into his trance, and most importantly, how was he himself going to do so. In his present state of mind, it would have rather hypocritical to start playing doctor, as Akira would have most likely said.

-You ...- he then hesitantly commenced - … you … felt for me … you - and suddenly stopped, as something else suddenly was beginning to make so much more sense, like some of the pieces to the mysterious puzzle called Kazamasa, were slowly placing each other in their righteous place.

-Thank you ...- he stated once more, this time receiving no reply from the younger.

It was all so clearer now, some major piece were still missing, but he was now wondering how he could have overlooked such an obvious factor in the whole story.

Sighing he walked a little closer, and making sure the younger's shoulder was properly clothed, he gently placed his hand on it, producing a sudden jerk in the younger, who nonetheless remained put.

-...all of this … you understand it all don't you? … - began the apprentice, receiving no reply from the younger - … It must be so hard on you too … they probably, like I did … think that you don't get any of it … but you do … don't you?- he then concluded, not expecting any answer from the younger, for he was really talking to himself.

-... you … - he then paused, assuming a firmer stand - … whatever it is that has befall here … you want it to end … right?- he hesitantly inquired, at which the younger slowly nodded in agreement, keeping his gaze fixed into nowhere.

-...Do you … know how?- gently continued the apprentice, at which to his greatest stupor, the younger nodded once more - c-can you show me? - swiftly added the apprentice, in a ephemeral moment of excitement, and once again the younger nodded, slowly looked at the door, and to the brunette greatest shock he spoke

- … Bou ...- he then whispered

Yutaka looked at the door as well, and remembering Bou to be the name associated to Kazuhiro he then inquired.

-Do you first want … to wait for him?- at which words the blonde nodded once more.

-Alright ...- he then replied with a nod, withdrawing his hand, this time sincerely smiling at the younger, feeling some warmth coming back to his own body, with a little hope moving back in to his heart. It now felt a little easier to breathe and Hell's gate had just been unlocked. It was still a rather heavy door to simply just open, without counting its feral guards, but it was till open nonetheless, he still had a chance to win, to get out, and that was the most important thing, and somehow, he had to find the way to fight back; it wasn't over yet.

CHAPTER 7 PART 2