the strangeness of life
I feel like I'm in limbo. Lately it seems, I fit less and less in Camrose and Edmonton. I've never considered Camrose to be my home...but it's weird to feel like a stranger in the place I've lived for almost 3 years. And with E-Town...everyone is moving away. Onto bigger and better things. I'm too busy going from semester to semester. My dad assumes that I'm going to come back in April and live here, happily, forever. My mom thinks that I'm going to run away to Camrose and live there with Kyle (YIKES!!) But I don't know what I want to do. I'd love to run away to theatre school or to go somewhere else. But then the practical side of my head says...wait...I shall write a scene.
MY INNER CONFLICT - Scene one...BUT MUCH COOLER
The stage is dark except for one spotlight that shines in the middle of a boxing ring, center stage. From stage left comes PRACTICAL JESS (PJ) and from stage right comes DREAMER JESS (DJ). Both enter like mirror reflections of the others. All movement is choreographed as the two enter the ring. Lights up. Both Jess's begin to "dance" around each other, punching with each line.
PJ: What are you even thinking? How can you get anywhere with a three year degree from AUGUSTANA?!?!
DJ: And a four year degree is going to do something for me?
PJ: Just think, you could go for a masters somewhere!
DJ: A masters in what? I don't even know what I want to do with my life.
PJ: Well, at least you wouldn't have to do a "qualifying year" and a U of A degree would be SOOOO much better!
DJ: But what about acting school? Why wouldn't that be a good idea? And Studio 58 would be awesome!
PJ: HAHAHAHAHAH! Make a living as an artist. That's a good one! How are you even going to pay for it?
DJ: How would I pay for another year at Augustana???
(A voice over the speakers bellows. Both boxers are startled and back away from each other and return to their respective corners)
VOICE: Jeeeeeeesssss!
DJ & PJ: Who are you?
VOICE: It's me. Carmen. Your academic advisor. I just wanted you to know that I've been playing with your file and I've found a way for you to finish your four year degree with another minor. Or you can do it with what you have. If you take more credits this semester and Camrose eats more of your soul then you can be done in less than the four years. But you'll have to do summer school and you'll have to come up with the money to pay for it all. But you have to decide before the end of this week.
PJ: Really! (Intrigued)
DJ: Really? (Kind of disgusted)
(Bell rings, signaling the end of round one)
THE END....
And don't even get me started on how Kyle complicates matters. So here's where it gets even more complicated with the boy. He could potentially be in Vancouver next year. That is also where Allie is. And Studio 58. Wouldn't that be the coolest in the history of the world? Vancouver + Soulmate (Allie)+Boy+Theatre= RIDICULOUSLY GOOD TIME! But there's always the chance that I wouldn't get in, me and the boy aren't together or that he doesn't end up there. For right now, things are weird with him too. I feel like I've started to become all weird and girl like and attached. This coming from the president of the asexual club. I don't even know if we'll be together at the end of the year. He's said that he wants to be. But sometimes I feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting. Which isn't a bad thing necessarily. But this is coming from the girl who doesn't like to give. Which then makes me question if I'm giving too much? Or am I just plain crazy and stubborn. My mom is starting to think I've lost it again. It's just too much for one girl to handle. TOO MUCH I TELL YOU!!!!!!
BWAH. Okay. I feel better.
I'm going to go to bed. My brain hurts. But I'll be back to update before school starts again...toodaloo my little...well...you know.
MY INNER CONFLICT - Scene one...BUT MUCH COOLER
The stage is dark except for one spotlight that shines in the middle of a boxing ring, center stage. From stage left comes PRACTICAL JESS (PJ) and from stage right comes DREAMER JESS (DJ). Both enter like mirror reflections of the others. All movement is choreographed as the two enter the ring. Lights up. Both Jess's begin to "dance" around each other, punching with each line.
PJ: What are you even thinking? How can you get anywhere with a three year degree from AUGUSTANA?!?!
DJ: And a four year degree is going to do something for me?
PJ: Just think, you could go for a masters somewhere!
DJ: A masters in what? I don't even know what I want to do with my life.
PJ: Well, at least you wouldn't have to do a "qualifying year" and a U of A degree would be SOOOO much better!
DJ: But what about acting school? Why wouldn't that be a good idea? And Studio 58 would be awesome!
PJ: HAHAHAHAHAH! Make a living as an artist. That's a good one! How are you even going to pay for it?
DJ: How would I pay for another year at Augustana???
(A voice over the speakers bellows. Both boxers are startled and back away from each other and return to their respective corners)
VOICE: Jeeeeeeesssss!
DJ & PJ: Who are you?
VOICE: It's me. Carmen. Your academic advisor. I just wanted you to know that I've been playing with your file and I've found a way for you to finish your four year degree with another minor. Or you can do it with what you have. If you take more credits this semester and Camrose eats more of your soul then you can be done in less than the four years. But you'll have to do summer school and you'll have to come up with the money to pay for it all. But you have to decide before the end of this week.
PJ: Really! (Intrigued)
DJ: Really? (Kind of disgusted)
(Bell rings, signaling the end of round one)
THE END....
And don't even get me started on how Kyle complicates matters. So here's where it gets even more complicated with the boy. He could potentially be in Vancouver next year. That is also where Allie is. And Studio 58. Wouldn't that be the coolest in the history of the world? Vancouver + Soulmate (Allie)+Boy+Theatre= RIDICULOUSLY GOOD TIME! But there's always the chance that I wouldn't get in, me and the boy aren't together or that he doesn't end up there. For right now, things are weird with him too. I feel like I've started to become all weird and girl like and attached. This coming from the president of the asexual club. I don't even know if we'll be together at the end of the year. He's said that he wants to be. But sometimes I feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting. Which isn't a bad thing necessarily. But this is coming from the girl who doesn't like to give. Which then makes me question if I'm giving too much? Or am I just plain crazy and stubborn. My mom is starting to think I've lost it again. It's just too much for one girl to handle. TOO MUCH I TELL YOU!!!!!!
BWAH. Okay. I feel better.
I'm going to go to bed. My brain hurts. But I'll be back to update before school starts again...toodaloo my little...well...you know.