Update...
Well... We got to New York without dying, I suppose that's a plus... I guess...
I'm more depressed than I was before... My in-laws seem far less enthusiastic about having us here now that we are here than they did when the offer was made. I can't say I really blame them, because, if you think about it, who really wants their grown children and their spouses moving back home? At least I'm safe here, though I do still tense up everytime I see a gold saturn. Maybe I'll never get over it. Who knows *shrug*
On the way here, durring a conversation in the truck, Mikal confirmed what I've been thinking/feeling ever since this whole thing started: It IS my fault and he feels that way just as much as I do. So everyone that kept telling me that no, it's not my fault was just plain lying to make me feel better. I was stupid for dating Victor in the first place after so many of my friends told me he was no good; I was stupid for not leaving him sooner than I did when he started showing his psycho side; I was stupid for not reporting every single incident; I was stupid for letting down my guard; stupid for opening the door without looking; stupid for letting him rape me; stupid for not going to the police after it happened. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
As far as the move goes, the stop at Missy's was nice... I got to know my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my neice and nephew a bit. That was cool. The drive up here was hell though. And due to improper packing of the truck on my husband's part, my wedding keepsake box got all sctratched up and there was stuff on top of my fragile boxes filled with crystal and candle holders and they were a bit crushed... Haven't opened them yet, so I don't know what, if anything, got broken. Due to improper handling by my husband, my computer desk will need to be replaced because it was jostled so much that it's really not stable anymore, and neither is my entertainment center. My father-in-law just had to cut my boxspring in half in order to get it up the stairs because the stairway is too low. Sitting here and watching my posessions be destroyed isn't helping my already fairly broken spirit, but what can I do about it? Nothing!
I was glad that I had the chance to go out to dinner with Lindsey on Friday before I left town. She's one of the few people that I will truely miss from Florida... The majority of the friends that I made while I was there weren't very nice to me, weren't very good friends, and just plain weren't good people in general. There are, of course, exceptions to that, but not a whole lot. I felt rather blown off by some people (one especially so, but I won't go into that here)... I guess I just wasn't worthy of a goodbye. Oh well. I will survive. Such things are not the end of the world.
I am now back in New York. I've spoken to, but haven't seen, my father as well as my aunt. My father seems genuinely excited that I'm here... My aunt seems convinced that I made a horrible choice, but then what else is new there? I've let a couple of friends down here know that I got here. I'm looking forward to seeing Mike again soon.
Anyway, I haven't slept much and my head, neck, shoulders, and back hurt. Aren't I just a ray of fucking sunshine tonight? All full of complaints. Oh well. Sorry.
I'm more depressed than I was before... My in-laws seem far less enthusiastic about having us here now that we are here than they did when the offer was made. I can't say I really blame them, because, if you think about it, who really wants their grown children and their spouses moving back home? At least I'm safe here, though I do still tense up everytime I see a gold saturn. Maybe I'll never get over it. Who knows *shrug*
On the way here, durring a conversation in the truck, Mikal confirmed what I've been thinking/feeling ever since this whole thing started: It IS my fault and he feels that way just as much as I do. So everyone that kept telling me that no, it's not my fault was just plain lying to make me feel better. I was stupid for dating Victor in the first place after so many of my friends told me he was no good; I was stupid for not leaving him sooner than I did when he started showing his psycho side; I was stupid for not reporting every single incident; I was stupid for letting down my guard; stupid for opening the door without looking; stupid for letting him rape me; stupid for not going to the police after it happened. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
As far as the move goes, the stop at Missy's was nice... I got to know my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my neice and nephew a bit. That was cool. The drive up here was hell though. And due to improper packing of the truck on my husband's part, my wedding keepsake box got all sctratched up and there was stuff on top of my fragile boxes filled with crystal and candle holders and they were a bit crushed... Haven't opened them yet, so I don't know what, if anything, got broken. Due to improper handling by my husband, my computer desk will need to be replaced because it was jostled so much that it's really not stable anymore, and neither is my entertainment center. My father-in-law just had to cut my boxspring in half in order to get it up the stairs because the stairway is too low. Sitting here and watching my posessions be destroyed isn't helping my already fairly broken spirit, but what can I do about it? Nothing!
I was glad that I had the chance to go out to dinner with Lindsey on Friday before I left town. She's one of the few people that I will truely miss from Florida... The majority of the friends that I made while I was there weren't very nice to me, weren't very good friends, and just plain weren't good people in general. There are, of course, exceptions to that, but not a whole lot. I felt rather blown off by some people (one especially so, but I won't go into that here)... I guess I just wasn't worthy of a goodbye. Oh well. I will survive. Such things are not the end of the world.
I am now back in New York. I've spoken to, but haven't seen, my father as well as my aunt. My father seems genuinely excited that I'm here... My aunt seems convinced that I made a horrible choice, but then what else is new there? I've let a couple of friends down here know that I got here. I'm looking forward to seeing Mike again soon.
Anyway, I haven't slept much and my head, neck, shoulders, and back hurt. Aren't I just a ray of fucking sunshine tonight? All full of complaints. Oh well. Sorry.