(no subject)
Jeremiah ended up not making it to work still this week. He's still feeling bad. And it's stressing me out too. I've been depressed lately about not being able to do anything to help him. About how long and tedious it feels to still be in school with however longer I have to go. Sunday I showed up for work 20 minutes late because I waited around to see Connor finally, as he hadn't been able to visit for a while due to Jeremiah's illness, and he'd be gone before I got home. When I got to work, the new manager sent me back home. Which was fine, since it meant I got to get some more rest, work on school shit, and actually say more than just hello to Connor for the first time in like 2 or 3 weeks. But still, I was expecting Jeremiah to be back to work this week, so the missing pay from that day wasn't worrying me. And now it is.
The budget I wrote up required only 4 of our paychecks, while we actually get 5 (Jeremiah and I earn about the same each paycheck, he just gets his every week while I get mine every other week). And we rented the room out to some people in town to sell VitaMix machines, which covered one week's of paycheck. But we weren't expecting to need to save that so we spent some of it on stuff we shouldn't have (ordered pizza, and other useless stuff). At least the vitamix people gave us their left over fruits and shit so we should have enough food for a while.
I think one of the major reasons for my depression is that I've not been eating very good lately. I got behind in my cleaning from being sick, and can't seem to get caugh up. Because I waste so much time feeling sorry for myself. It's annoying.
I'm really working on it. Work is annoying since they change my schedule every week. So it's not dependable and it just kind of throws me off. I've realized I need very structured time frames and such in my life to best opperate. I also need to ask if I can get a raise, since I passed my Tire Pro, Parts Pro, and Service Pro test. Which also means I've run out of things I can do while standing at the register that are least like work.
I should be getting about $300 back in taxes, so at least I'll have that to help out. Jeremiah feels bad that it'll probably end up going to bills. He wants me to buy something for myself. but I can't. Spending money on myself to get happiness now is just trying to cover it up. Not cure it. If we actually had savings and were secure, not living paycheck to paycheck, then I'd be able to be happy with buying stuff for myself. For now, working towards that goal is enough for me. Because I know it's worth giving up some joy now.
The budget I wrote up required only 4 of our paychecks, while we actually get 5 (Jeremiah and I earn about the same each paycheck, he just gets his every week while I get mine every other week). And we rented the room out to some people in town to sell VitaMix machines, which covered one week's of paycheck. But we weren't expecting to need to save that so we spent some of it on stuff we shouldn't have (ordered pizza, and other useless stuff). At least the vitamix people gave us their left over fruits and shit so we should have enough food for a while.
I think one of the major reasons for my depression is that I've not been eating very good lately. I got behind in my cleaning from being sick, and can't seem to get caugh up. Because I waste so much time feeling sorry for myself. It's annoying.
I'm really working on it. Work is annoying since they change my schedule every week. So it's not dependable and it just kind of throws me off. I've realized I need very structured time frames and such in my life to best opperate. I also need to ask if I can get a raise, since I passed my Tire Pro, Parts Pro, and Service Pro test. Which also means I've run out of things I can do while standing at the register that are least like work.
I should be getting about $300 back in taxes, so at least I'll have that to help out. Jeremiah feels bad that it'll probably end up going to bills. He wants me to buy something for myself. but I can't. Spending money on myself to get happiness now is just trying to cover it up. Not cure it. If we actually had savings and were secure, not living paycheck to paycheck, then I'd be able to be happy with buying stuff for myself. For now, working towards that goal is enough for me. Because I know it's worth giving up some joy now.