Kanpai!!
A pretty good weekend if I do say so myself. Yesterday's dinner and today's lunch were all mirthful and happy. Rosanna, her boyfriend Mike, her mom and Uncle Wooly were all there. Rosanna's pretty bubbly and always cool. Her boyfriend seems like a cool guy, too. Mom and Dad and I had some good times. Watching the football game with Dad and seeing that final catch that won the game for Michigan and Mom cheering even though she didn't understand what was going on. Dad and I really bonded. He patted the seat next to him and was surprised/impressed that I was so into football. Then we were back on the road back home.
We went tp pearl for dinner, a new place opened by waiters of Hong Hua. It's pretty good and open till 12 every evening, so Mom and Dad can siew yeah any night of the week if they want.
The whole time I was agonizing over telling them about Tatsu-kun while simultaneously enoying myself with them. While we drove to Ann Arbor, I was about to tell them since Dad mentioned me taking charge for my birthdays and what I want because I'm a man now or at least I'm going to be. But then int he car, right as I was about to he started talking about how our family name is very old, older than the reign of the first emperor of China (damn!)
But we had some more good discussions about acient China and poetry and when we pulled up, I asked them to pull over so we coudl talk. I told them that I didn't mean for it to be a bomb, just that I hoped they could be happy for me, too. I told them about Robert and just that above all things, I didn't want to keep secrets from them because I felt they were detrimental to our (their and my) relationship. I almost wanted to say that the 'friend' who called while we were driving back who Dad commented on how much he must like Michigan football was my boyfriend, but I guess I felt that would be pushing it.
Dad said that he didn't think he could take it, meeting him nor could he bring himself to like him (I had mentioned off handedly and not intentionally that fit hey ever met him they would probably like him). Mom said that I should just know that they were incredibly disappointed and frustrated and upset. She also said that she thinks that I never earnestly tried to change myself, which is just kind of humorous to me because she said it in a tone like she had suspected all along that I hadn't tried when int rith, I had never intended to in the first place nor did I feel like it was really expected of me. Dad likened it to drug use (again) and also explained that he tries to control his vices and problems and obviously I do not.
I told them that I never thought of it as a vice so naturally I wouldn't try to curb it. Mom asked her slew of questions: Did we have sex yet? (My only lie was that we hadn't) If we ever did, she said, I should be aware of "A-I-D-S". She also went on about how she thought it disgusting and dirty and never wanted to think about it. Is that why I wanted the single? No, I wanted the single because I wanted to spend time in the dorm. Is he sharing the house I signed for recently for next year? No, he has his own place. Who is he, where is he from: He's from Flint he goes to the University, and he's a Junior. How did you meet? Through the school.
Dad didn't say much, and Mom went on to say that we're not talking about it and that I shouldn't think of ever bringing him home to meet them because they don't want to know him, etc. etc. She assumed (again) that he would be distracting so she tried her guilt thing that school is hard for them to send me to, so if (as she would like to think) the relationship is distracting...etc. etc. Finally she just said that this isn't something they believe one is bornw ith (I agreed) and that they'll never accept it so I shoudl stop thinking so. My responses were calm and I said I understood several times that their position wouldn't change.
So in the end we (at leats Mom and I) more or less agreed to disagree and never talk about it. I brought up right at the beginning that we hadn't spoken about it for a while and that I've been good at not bringing it up and while I didn't want to throw it int heir faces, 'we' needed to dealw ith this and get through it. Anyway, I'm fine about never talking about it, but I told them that I wasn't going to argue with them which Mom agreed with since we both probably didn't want the emotional overload, and that my reason is just so that I'm not keeping secrets from them ebcause they could feel hurt.
I'm very proud of myself that I remained calm. The temptation to argue was huge, but I got it under control and just acted rationally and with understanding. I'm not in tears, I'ms till a little jittered. They pulled up and I said my goodbyes like it was a whole other issue. Dad was a bit silent, but whatever, I think they'llt ake it better than if we had argued. I can't speak for them about whether Mom (or Dad for that matter) is crying or just upset. I would rather they just be upset. I told them to drive safely (no kidding!) and we parted and I said I'd see them later.
Hopefully, the way the whole thing went, it'll be a light enough of a situation that it won't hang over them and crush them whenever they do something. But I think it was heavy enough that they'll know it happened.
I tried calling Elaine, because she said at 8:30 that she'd call me back later, but she's not there so I just left a message.
I'm not crushed, just kind fo still ins hock that I managed to handle the whole situation so well (in my opinion at least) and with no advice for anyone...But I'm sure it'll hit me soon in those lonely hours to myself before my folks work up the moxy to communicate with me again without thinking about what we talked about.
Still, a good weekend overall.
***George W. Bush Advent Countdown***
In anticipation for November 4th, 2008 (Election Day) and January 20th, 2009 (Swearing in of the New President), I will count down the days until George is out of office. In the pursuit of intelligence and in recognition of George's lack thereof, I will combat this new fad-wave of idiocy by listing an academic significance associated with each number.
1191 days left until Bush is out of office.
- 1191 is the year that the monks of Glastonbury Abbey announce that they have found the burial sites of King Arthur and his Queen Guinevere.
We went tp pearl for dinner, a new place opened by waiters of Hong Hua. It's pretty good and open till 12 every evening, so Mom and Dad can siew yeah any night of the week if they want.
The whole time I was agonizing over telling them about Tatsu-kun while simultaneously enoying myself with them. While we drove to Ann Arbor, I was about to tell them since Dad mentioned me taking charge for my birthdays and what I want because I'm a man now or at least I'm going to be. But then int he car, right as I was about to he started talking about how our family name is very old, older than the reign of the first emperor of China (damn!)
But we had some more good discussions about acient China and poetry and when we pulled up, I asked them to pull over so we coudl talk. I told them that I didn't mean for it to be a bomb, just that I hoped they could be happy for me, too. I told them about Robert and just that above all things, I didn't want to keep secrets from them because I felt they were detrimental to our (their and my) relationship. I almost wanted to say that the 'friend' who called while we were driving back who Dad commented on how much he must like Michigan football was my boyfriend, but I guess I felt that would be pushing it.
Dad said that he didn't think he could take it, meeting him nor could he bring himself to like him (I had mentioned off handedly and not intentionally that fit hey ever met him they would probably like him). Mom said that I should just know that they were incredibly disappointed and frustrated and upset. She also said that she thinks that I never earnestly tried to change myself, which is just kind of humorous to me because she said it in a tone like she had suspected all along that I hadn't tried when int rith, I had never intended to in the first place nor did I feel like it was really expected of me. Dad likened it to drug use (again) and also explained that he tries to control his vices and problems and obviously I do not.
I told them that I never thought of it as a vice so naturally I wouldn't try to curb it. Mom asked her slew of questions: Did we have sex yet? (My only lie was that we hadn't) If we ever did, she said, I should be aware of "A-I-D-S". She also went on about how she thought it disgusting and dirty and never wanted to think about it. Is that why I wanted the single? No, I wanted the single because I wanted to spend time in the dorm. Is he sharing the house I signed for recently for next year? No, he has his own place. Who is he, where is he from: He's from Flint he goes to the University, and he's a Junior. How did you meet? Through the school.
Dad didn't say much, and Mom went on to say that we're not talking about it and that I shouldn't think of ever bringing him home to meet them because they don't want to know him, etc. etc. She assumed (again) that he would be distracting so she tried her guilt thing that school is hard for them to send me to, so if (as she would like to think) the relationship is distracting...etc. etc. Finally she just said that this isn't something they believe one is bornw ith (I agreed) and that they'll never accept it so I shoudl stop thinking so. My responses were calm and I said I understood several times that their position wouldn't change.
So in the end we (at leats Mom and I) more or less agreed to disagree and never talk about it. I brought up right at the beginning that we hadn't spoken about it for a while and that I've been good at not bringing it up and while I didn't want to throw it int heir faces, 'we' needed to dealw ith this and get through it. Anyway, I'm fine about never talking about it, but I told them that I wasn't going to argue with them which Mom agreed with since we both probably didn't want the emotional overload, and that my reason is just so that I'm not keeping secrets from them ebcause they could feel hurt.
I'm very proud of myself that I remained calm. The temptation to argue was huge, but I got it under control and just acted rationally and with understanding. I'm not in tears, I'ms till a little jittered. They pulled up and I said my goodbyes like it was a whole other issue. Dad was a bit silent, but whatever, I think they'llt ake it better than if we had argued. I can't speak for them about whether Mom (or Dad for that matter) is crying or just upset. I would rather they just be upset. I told them to drive safely (no kidding!) and we parted and I said I'd see them later.
Hopefully, the way the whole thing went, it'll be a light enough of a situation that it won't hang over them and crush them whenever they do something. But I think it was heavy enough that they'll know it happened.
I tried calling Elaine, because she said at 8:30 that she'd call me back later, but she's not there so I just left a message.
I'm not crushed, just kind fo still ins hock that I managed to handle the whole situation so well (in my opinion at least) and with no advice for anyone...But I'm sure it'll hit me soon in those lonely hours to myself before my folks work up the moxy to communicate with me again without thinking about what we talked about.
Still, a good weekend overall.
***George W. Bush Advent Countdown***
In anticipation for November 4th, 2008 (Election Day) and January 20th, 2009 (Swearing in of the New President), I will count down the days until George is out of office. In the pursuit of intelligence and in recognition of George's lack thereof, I will combat this new fad-wave of idiocy by listing an academic significance associated with each number.
1191 days left until Bush is out of office.
- 1191 is the year that the monks of Glastonbury Abbey announce that they have found the burial sites of King Arthur and his Queen Guinevere.