Gone, gone, gone - An Original Work
Notes Before You Read:
Every so often I explode and shower whatever fandom I’m currently playing in with something so freaking depressing and full of pointless sadness it would make an axe murderer cry, the reason being that it evens out all the fluff I end up writing with an equal amount of sad. But I’ve been holding that back recently because I was in the middle of planning and writing things in which such angsty spewings had absolutely no place. So I sat down tonight to get all my angst writing needs out in one fell swoop, becuase the story I'm currently planning also has no room for pointless angst, the result being whatever this thing is that I’ve written. It’s sad and original (no fandoms) and I have nothing better to do with it than share it with you guys so here you go.
She stood at the back of a long room surrounded by people with no idea what she was doing there. There was nothing here for her anymore. The body of the man she loved was displayed at the front laid out in a dark, satin lined coffin surrounded by flowers. And the people. All of them, friends and family, standing around talking in hushed voices occasionally glancing at the coffin or the silent woman in the shadows at the back as if at any moment they expected her to throw herself at the body and collapse in agony.
But she had already done her crying in the peace of their home, she had mourned him alone in their bed while the world continued turning and all these people went on with their pretty little lives. She had nothing left to show them, she had no tears left in her to cry. She had no more emotions to feel for the man who had entered her world and brought light like she had never had before and then left and took everything she was living for with him. She had nothing left.
As she felt the knowledge sweep over her, the purposelessness of this whole event wormed its way into her empty heart. Why did she need to stand at the back of this room and stare at something she couldn’t have anymore? Why should she be reminded of even more painful memories in order to fulfill the role society gave her as the mourning lover? She couldn’t give these people what they wanted to see, she couldn’t force the tears they rightfully expected and he deserved. All eyes turned to her in shock and barely disguised disapproval as she turned and left in silence, abandoning the last of her will to live with the cold body on display in the room at her back.
Darkness enfolded her as she moved along the shadowed streets, mirroring the darkness that had invaded her mind the moment her love had breathed his last breath. She tried to keep quiet as she searched out a place, any place that she could find a small piece of the comfort that had been stripped from her life. She suddenly started to run, stumbled, stood and continued running, the sounds of the city’s night dwellers rising around her as she went along, causing her broken heart to crazily beat out a rhythm against her ribs.
Sounds of distant voices drove her onward down her path as fear took over every thought and feeling in her body, even driving out the emptiness mourning had created. She was sure every shadow held something dark and sinister. Her imagination turned her deepest fears into reality as she imagined monsters and demons chasing her in an attempt to drag her down with them into the fires beneath the earth she walked on. Onward she ran from the pain of life, allowing fear to take the place of the hole where her emotions had been as she tried to escape her own imagined pursuers, and from the all too real dangers of the night-time city.
She finally came to a halt, falling to her hands and knees in the dark. Her head fell forward to dangle loosely from her shoulders in front of her. Her chest rose and fell in huge gasping breaths as her lungs struggled to take what they needed from the air around her. Her heart continued to flutter much faster than its normal rate as the fire of exertion spread through her chest. She closed her eyes and welcomed the pain as a relief to the emptiness of the past days.
There was nothing but pain here now that he took all the joy she had. She stared down at her hands splayed against the cold concrete as she allowed her body to return to normal. The night embraced her shaking form as a single tear dropped from her eye to splash against the ground. She asked herself why one more time, why she had to lose him so soon after she had found him, why she had to continue on without him, why she had to keep going when he was gone. Her tears continued to fall in a silent stream as she slowly collapsed onto the sidewalk, first to her elbows and then her side as her pain returned to fill her heart again.
She didn’t know how long she lay in the street nor how long they stood watching her cry, all she knew was that there was a moment where she was air born as strong hands lifted her from her piece of darkness and forced her against a hard brick wall. Moonlight flashed on steel as they brandished knives and guns, demanding her valuables in exchange for her life. She merely stared at them, eyes dully glimmering with the only trace of life she could drag forth. What did it matter if they killed her? She didn’t want to live alone anyway.
Pain blossomed once more, piercing the fog of her mind as she realized she’d been stabbed. She fell to her knees as the one holding her up released her and looked down at the blood spreading across her black funeral clothes with mild interest as the men around her stepped back in confusion at her lack of reaction. Slowly... heavily, she fell to her side to hit the pavement with a dull slap as her assailants fled the scene empty handed. All she could see as her blood continued to spill forth to stain the ground around her was his smiling face, all she thought of was rejoining her lost love in death. As a slow peaceful smile spread across her face all she could feel was the pain of her heart beating it’s final rhythm before it slowed… slowed… and stopped. The breath sighed out of her lungs one last time as her eyes closed, still shining with the tears she had shed moments before.
Every so often I explode and shower whatever fandom I’m currently playing in with something so freaking depressing and full of pointless sadness it would make an axe murderer cry, the reason being that it evens out all the fluff I end up writing with an equal amount of sad. But I’ve been holding that back recently because I was in the middle of planning and writing things in which such angsty spewings had absolutely no place. So I sat down tonight to get all my angst writing needs out in one fell swoop, becuase the story I'm currently planning also has no room for pointless angst, the result being whatever this thing is that I’ve written. It’s sad and original (no fandoms) and I have nothing better to do with it than share it with you guys so here you go.
She stood at the back of a long room surrounded by people with no idea what she was doing there. There was nothing here for her anymore. The body of the man she loved was displayed at the front laid out in a dark, satin lined coffin surrounded by flowers. And the people. All of them, friends and family, standing around talking in hushed voices occasionally glancing at the coffin or the silent woman in the shadows at the back as if at any moment they expected her to throw herself at the body and collapse in agony.
But she had already done her crying in the peace of their home, she had mourned him alone in their bed while the world continued turning and all these people went on with their pretty little lives. She had nothing left to show them, she had no tears left in her to cry. She had no more emotions to feel for the man who had entered her world and brought light like she had never had before and then left and took everything she was living for with him. She had nothing left.
As she felt the knowledge sweep over her, the purposelessness of this whole event wormed its way into her empty heart. Why did she need to stand at the back of this room and stare at something she couldn’t have anymore? Why should she be reminded of even more painful memories in order to fulfill the role society gave her as the mourning lover? She couldn’t give these people what they wanted to see, she couldn’t force the tears they rightfully expected and he deserved. All eyes turned to her in shock and barely disguised disapproval as she turned and left in silence, abandoning the last of her will to live with the cold body on display in the room at her back.
Darkness enfolded her as she moved along the shadowed streets, mirroring the darkness that had invaded her mind the moment her love had breathed his last breath. She tried to keep quiet as she searched out a place, any place that she could find a small piece of the comfort that had been stripped from her life. She suddenly started to run, stumbled, stood and continued running, the sounds of the city’s night dwellers rising around her as she went along, causing her broken heart to crazily beat out a rhythm against her ribs.
Sounds of distant voices drove her onward down her path as fear took over every thought and feeling in her body, even driving out the emptiness mourning had created. She was sure every shadow held something dark and sinister. Her imagination turned her deepest fears into reality as she imagined monsters and demons chasing her in an attempt to drag her down with them into the fires beneath the earth she walked on. Onward she ran from the pain of life, allowing fear to take the place of the hole where her emotions had been as she tried to escape her own imagined pursuers, and from the all too real dangers of the night-time city.
She finally came to a halt, falling to her hands and knees in the dark. Her head fell forward to dangle loosely from her shoulders in front of her. Her chest rose and fell in huge gasping breaths as her lungs struggled to take what they needed from the air around her. Her heart continued to flutter much faster than its normal rate as the fire of exertion spread through her chest. She closed her eyes and welcomed the pain as a relief to the emptiness of the past days.
There was nothing but pain here now that he took all the joy she had. She stared down at her hands splayed against the cold concrete as she allowed her body to return to normal. The night embraced her shaking form as a single tear dropped from her eye to splash against the ground. She asked herself why one more time, why she had to lose him so soon after she had found him, why she had to continue on without him, why she had to keep going when he was gone. Her tears continued to fall in a silent stream as she slowly collapsed onto the sidewalk, first to her elbows and then her side as her pain returned to fill her heart again.
She didn’t know how long she lay in the street nor how long they stood watching her cry, all she knew was that there was a moment where she was air born as strong hands lifted her from her piece of darkness and forced her against a hard brick wall. Moonlight flashed on steel as they brandished knives and guns, demanding her valuables in exchange for her life. She merely stared at them, eyes dully glimmering with the only trace of life she could drag forth. What did it matter if they killed her? She didn’t want to live alone anyway.
Pain blossomed once more, piercing the fog of her mind as she realized she’d been stabbed. She fell to her knees as the one holding her up released her and looked down at the blood spreading across her black funeral clothes with mild interest as the men around her stepped back in confusion at her lack of reaction. Slowly... heavily, she fell to her side to hit the pavement with a dull slap as her assailants fled the scene empty handed. All she could see as her blood continued to spill forth to stain the ground around her was his smiling face, all she thought of was rejoining her lost love in death. As a slow peaceful smile spread across her face all she could feel was the pain of her heart beating it’s final rhythm before it slowed… slowed… and stopped. The breath sighed out of her lungs one last time as her eyes closed, still shining with the tears she had shed moments before.