❧ I shot the sheriff! - Interlude

[luministimods]

[all CATs and vidscreens turn on suddenly and without ceremony. sitting in this room is Sheriff Iussus, his feet up on the desk while he regards the broadcasting CAT device.]Attention all new residents of Luministi. None of you are in trouble, so don't think that, but I do have some questions for you. And I do mean all of you. Consider this an

Comments

[charmandsmiles]

[speaking of barging in...] You know as well as I do us new residents have got nothing to do with this. You want to find the killer, try questioning everyone else.

[luministimods]

[still has his feet propped up on the desk]

Ah, so you're the one I spoke to the other day. Don't you worry your pretty little head; we are questioning everyone else. I only wished to handle the new residents myself.

Please, have a seat. [nods towards the empty chair across from his]

[charmandsmiles]

[blinks] Am I pretty? I haven't bothered to check. Least I know haven't got any curls.

[he takes a seat, propping his own feet on the desk] I've got the feeling whoever's behind this is behind all the other things that have gone on here.

[luministimods]

I can't say for sure, pal, you're not my type.

All right before we go into that... [reaches over and taps his CAT device, the screen glowing red] This is Sheriff Dante Iussus at the start of session number three. For the record, please state your name, age, and where you're from.

[charmandsmiles]

[crosses his arms] I'm the Doctor, and the rest of it doesn't matter.

[luministimods]

[writes something down on a notepad in his lap] Duly noted. So, the Doctor, what was it you were saying before? Ah yes, about the other things have gone on in town. Would you care to tell me about them? I believe you also mentioned something about a perception filter too, but one thing at a time. We're not going anywhere.

wth firefox topiaries is totally a word

[charmandsmiles]

[have some eye rolling, Sheriff] Just call me "Doctor," thanks. And I arrived in the middle of someone animating a bunch of statues and topiaries and things. They weren't very nice -- ended up attempting to destroy the lot of them, but it didn't work. You might remember a bomb going off with a very loud bang.

[luministimods]

[he sits up, surprised] A bomb?! When the hell did that happen? I wasn't informed of this!

[charmandsmiles]

26th of June. You never noticed? Granted, I barely put a dent in the Town Hall. Gonna tell me why?

[luministimods]

The 26th of June? Sir--Doctor--you must be mistaken. For that explosion to have taken place when you said it did, you would have had to arrive eleven months ago, and I was aware of the program being in effect for nearly the past two.

Unless you meant for me to tell you why you couldn't have put a dent into Town Hall--something I'll be talking to you in a different capacity once this investigation has wrapped up--or did you you mean why, as in why do I have no knowledge of such an explosion?

[charmandsmiles]

[frowns] Hang on, how is June eleven months ago? And what sort of program?

And to answer your questions, all of the above.

[luministimods]

[he sighs and leans back] We're in the month of May, Doctor. If it really were the end of June, you'd really feel the heat. It gets awful frigging hot in the summer. I wonder how you didn't know the date. Your CAT should tell you.

The program is part of a town rejuvenation thing Mayor Caligin started to bring fresh blood into the town. You signed up to come here, to gain a fresh start from your old life. Those housing complexes were constructed specifically for people in the program.

But that's as much as I know about it because I've been out of town for the past year. I was retired and only came back here so my wife could say good-bye to her dying mother--and then all this mess happened. So why your attempted assault on a municipal building failed, I haven't the foggiest, but just be glad I wasn't around. You'd never see the outside of on of those jail cells and probably would'v gone crazy thanks to that damn polka music that deputy of mine likes to play.

[charmandsmiles]

[the Doctor pulls his CAT out of his pocket and tosses it to him] Tell me how this thing works, then, 'cause I don't think it does. And I never signed up to come here. Actually, I've got no memory of how I came here at all, except...I sort of remember some bloke with a hat pulled over his face. There's no need to put me in a cell, Sheriff, I'm already a prisoner here.

Which brings me to the next bit...you've been out of town. Which means someone can leave, even if we can't. How do we get out, Sheriff?

[luministimods]

[catches it with ease] To be honest, the one you should ask about these things is Audrey Ardes. Seems to have a knack for them and even showed me the nifty trick with the recording--huh. [frowns and gives Nine's CAT a good poke] No wonder, you got the wrong date on here. I wonder how it got ahead... [taps the CAT's screen a couple times] There. At least that's something I can do. [sets it on the desk and slides it over to Nine.]

When we have a bit more time on our hands, I'll have to call you in to talk to Deputy Drew. He's pretty handy with that art crap. Perhaps he can work up a composite image of the man you saw.

As for leaving town, you just need to walk out along one of the four roads leading out of the town proper. That's how.

[charmandsmiles]

Thanks. You think there's a reason for all the CATs having the wrong date? Like maybe someone programmed them that way on purpose?

And walking down the roads doesn't help. 'Course, this isn't the first time I've dealt with a place like this. The whole city was a recursive trap -- all the roads lead back to the town square. Only the residents were caught up in the recursion, so they didn't notice anything wrong.

[luministimods]

[shrugs] Could be. Perhaps there was a faulty software update or someone simply decided to play a prank on you.

[frowns severely when he hears that] What more can you tell me about that?