shaken and faint
And well, I don't have much to say. Are you listening, is this thing on?
I'm not sure what yet, but something in me has shifted. i also don't know if it's a good shift or a bad one yet. It's hard to tell. I'm thinking that maybe it falls in that quiet space between the two. What I want is to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I'm fucked up, a little. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that because well, I bottle shit up. You know what, let's be honest. Bottling something up implies that it can be opened at some point in the future and I don't do that. If I don't want to talk or think about something, I'll bury it deepdeepdeep inside my chest, where I can't reach it again.
But even though my head is a mess, there are good things:
1. Nicholas Aron Hollifield - He's my other half. I couldn't do this without him.
2. The Posse. More specifically, Ness. I don't know what it is about him, but I love being around him and I ache when he leaves.
3. 38 days.
It's a short list, but it's about content more than quantity, I guess.
I've been writing lately, but I wish I wasn't.
your words melt together and I am drowning in them; I don’t know how to stop needing you. I never want to learn.
Sometimes, I fucking hate myself.
I'm not sure what yet, but something in me has shifted. i also don't know if it's a good shift or a bad one yet. It's hard to tell. I'm thinking that maybe it falls in that quiet space between the two. What I want is to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I'm fucked up, a little. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that because well, I bottle shit up. You know what, let's be honest. Bottling something up implies that it can be opened at some point in the future and I don't do that. If I don't want to talk or think about something, I'll bury it deepdeepdeep inside my chest, where I can't reach it again.
But even though my head is a mess, there are good things:
1. Nicholas Aron Hollifield - He's my other half. I couldn't do this without him.
2. The Posse. More specifically, Ness. I don't know what it is about him, but I love being around him and I ache when he leaves.
3. 38 days.
It's a short list, but it's about content more than quantity, I guess.
I've been writing lately, but I wish I wasn't.
your words melt together and I am drowning in them; I don’t know how to stop needing you. I never want to learn.
Sometimes, I fucking hate myself.