a lordly lion prepared to prance
So points of interest:
NYC last weekend was good. Went to a panty party in the city last weekend that was tons of fun. Got really really really drunk in order to forget that I wasn't wearing any pants, and instead, thigh highs, heels, panties, and this lacey see through top-y thing. I felt like I was at Safer Sex Night. Had a blast. Didn't take anyone home. Went out to breakfast at my favorite place with Kitama. Spent a significant amount of time talking with Adam Green (Kitama's housemate) about job stuff and random shit, it was cool.
I had a job interview on Monday for this environmental non-profit in NYC I really want to work for, and it went well.
Carole flipped out at me for taking a personal day (to secretly go do this job interview) and left a nasty message on my phone being a rediculous controlling bitch right before my interview. I thought a lot about this situation and how much I hate my job. Had trouble sleeping.
Tuesday, I gave Carole my 4-weeks notice, and she took it surprisingly well, and now I'm free and euphoric.
I got a call yesterday for a second interview for the aforementioned job I really want. Thrilled I am. However, competition is stiff. If I do NOT get this job, it will suck. Buuuuuuut, I'll probably work seasonally and look for another one. (There's a cool admin-y thing working for a cool organization in Times Square....) Point is, I'm free from Carole and Mill Street Loft and it feels absolutely incredible.
It snowed last night, and it made me all happy and Christmasy. I feel like this Thanksgiving Weekend, I'm getting a small, MUCH-NEEDED vacation, and even though we're poor (the whole famn damily) and I'm in a tricky situation job-wise and transitioning and everything, and even though I feel like I've lost everything from the summer and nothing's the same, I feel pretty good. I have lots of contemplations following this theme, but they're rather uninteresting and heady.
Pete Beck called from a payphone yesterday to tell me he's getting married in a month, in Vegas, to this girl he's met in Arizona and has known less than 6 months. I am highly skeptical. I was sleeping when he called though and told him to call me back today. He has not. Oooooh Pete how I love you, weirdo.
Mom's in Indiana with the crazy fam for Thanksgiving. I had a small Thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and their friend Vinney. It was lovely. I am home alone now and taking care of the animals for the weekend. It is cold. (The chickens now have a space heater and heat lamp out in their coop.)
I've been reading a lot of spiritual growth books, among other things (like lesbian smut novels). Currently, in the middle of "The Road Less Traveled." Cheesy, but useful. "Falling in love" is not love. It's a lie fostered by society, hormones and internal and external sexual stimuli to trick us into marriage. It's a regression to an infantile state of merging of identities which makes us feel omnipotent and euphorically one with the world. Apparently, real love does not begin until after this "false love" has faded, our ego boundaries snap back into place and we decide to stick with it. The dude goes on to talk about real love, which comes from time and energy being invested, he talks about dependency, all kinds of things. But even though I knew it, it just sucks to think that "in love-ness" is inherently impermanent, and doesn't really indicate anything special. This is also somehow soothing though, because in a way, it makes things easier. Maybe this isn't as clear as it is in my head. Whatever. It's a book. It's something to chew on. Oddly though, it's connecting to the buddhist stuff i've been reading by pema chodron. Yes. Interesting.
EDIT: I'm not knocking relationships here. Most of the people I know who are in committed relationships are doing it for real. Don't feel like I'm saying it's all a lie.
I made a fucking amazing mix CD that I love. It has wonderful music on it from Pavement to Pixies to Desmond Decker to Manu Chao to Paul Simon to Broken Social Scene to Bonnie Prince Billy to Yo La Tengo, etc.
I'm fucking freezing and going to bed.
NYC last weekend was good. Went to a panty party in the city last weekend that was tons of fun. Got really really really drunk in order to forget that I wasn't wearing any pants, and instead, thigh highs, heels, panties, and this lacey see through top-y thing. I felt like I was at Safer Sex Night. Had a blast. Didn't take anyone home. Went out to breakfast at my favorite place with Kitama. Spent a significant amount of time talking with Adam Green (Kitama's housemate) about job stuff and random shit, it was cool.
I had a job interview on Monday for this environmental non-profit in NYC I really want to work for, and it went well.
Carole flipped out at me for taking a personal day (to secretly go do this job interview) and left a nasty message on my phone being a rediculous controlling bitch right before my interview. I thought a lot about this situation and how much I hate my job. Had trouble sleeping.
Tuesday, I gave Carole my 4-weeks notice, and she took it surprisingly well, and now I'm free and euphoric.
I got a call yesterday for a second interview for the aforementioned job I really want. Thrilled I am. However, competition is stiff. If I do NOT get this job, it will suck. Buuuuuuut, I'll probably work seasonally and look for another one. (There's a cool admin-y thing working for a cool organization in Times Square....) Point is, I'm free from Carole and Mill Street Loft and it feels absolutely incredible.
It snowed last night, and it made me all happy and Christmasy. I feel like this Thanksgiving Weekend, I'm getting a small, MUCH-NEEDED vacation, and even though we're poor (the whole famn damily) and I'm in a tricky situation job-wise and transitioning and everything, and even though I feel like I've lost everything from the summer and nothing's the same, I feel pretty good. I have lots of contemplations following this theme, but they're rather uninteresting and heady.
Pete Beck called from a payphone yesterday to tell me he's getting married in a month, in Vegas, to this girl he's met in Arizona and has known less than 6 months. I am highly skeptical. I was sleeping when he called though and told him to call me back today. He has not. Oooooh Pete how I love you, weirdo.
Mom's in Indiana with the crazy fam for Thanksgiving. I had a small Thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and their friend Vinney. It was lovely. I am home alone now and taking care of the animals for the weekend. It is cold. (The chickens now have a space heater and heat lamp out in their coop.)
I've been reading a lot of spiritual growth books, among other things (like lesbian smut novels). Currently, in the middle of "The Road Less Traveled." Cheesy, but useful. "Falling in love" is not love. It's a lie fostered by society, hormones and internal and external sexual stimuli to trick us into marriage. It's a regression to an infantile state of merging of identities which makes us feel omnipotent and euphorically one with the world. Apparently, real love does not begin until after this "false love" has faded, our ego boundaries snap back into place and we decide to stick with it. The dude goes on to talk about real love, which comes from time and energy being invested, he talks about dependency, all kinds of things. But even though I knew it, it just sucks to think that "in love-ness" is inherently impermanent, and doesn't really indicate anything special. This is also somehow soothing though, because in a way, it makes things easier. Maybe this isn't as clear as it is in my head. Whatever. It's a book. It's something to chew on. Oddly though, it's connecting to the buddhist stuff i've been reading by pema chodron. Yes. Interesting.
EDIT: I'm not knocking relationships here. Most of the people I know who are in committed relationships are doing it for real. Don't feel like I'm saying it's all a lie.
I made a fucking amazing mix CD that I love. It has wonderful music on it from Pavement to Pixies to Desmond Decker to Manu Chao to Paul Simon to Broken Social Scene to Bonnie Prince Billy to Yo La Tengo, etc.
I'm fucking freezing and going to bed.