And the Ennio Morricone song was on
So you know how it's basically established Canon Fact that Tom Perriello's life is kind of sucky? He does principled things and gets hung in effigy. He gets hit on by creepy beauty queens in Ice Queen costumes. One of his co-workers is a serial killer. And the Tea Partiers are OBSESED with him and ruining his life and calling him an Illuminati puppet and finding out if he is like other men and stuff.
Well I think we may have finally found somebody who can relate to the levels of FML available. Someone who knows what it's like to be loathed by crazy-ass Tea Baggers.
It is.... *dramatic swell* HIS OPPONENT, ROBERT HURT.
OBVIOUSLY his life isn't as sucky as darling Tom's. How could it be? No crazy-ass hobos have tried to cut his gas line and ended up at his brother's house (doiiii). BUT, he is so hated by the Tea Partiers that they won't even endorse him against their sworn rival. Why? Because he once, ONCE voted to raise taxes. And now some dude is going to run against him as an independent. Even the DCCC is getting in on the game.
Conclusion: they are the two most hated men in Virginia, and thus, destined to be bros. ON ELECTION NIGHT THE TEABAGGERS WILL COME FOR THEM AND THEY WILL HAVE TO TEAM UP AND FIGHT EVIL, AND THEN HURT WILL GET SHOT IN THE ARM OR SOMETHING AND GO "DAMMIT, TOM, TAKE THAT SEAT, IT'S YOURS, IT ALWAYS WAS!!" AND SWOON AND DIE AND THEN PERRIELLO WILL GO ON TO FIGHT THE TEABAGGERS AND IN THE END THEY WILL DISCOVER GLENN NYE WAS THE RINGLEADER OF THEM ALL AND TOM WILL KILL HIM WITH THE FIVE POINT EXPLODING HEART TECHNIQUE. I'm not a political analyst or nothing but I'm 94.5% sure it's gonna happen just like that.
Well I think we may have finally found somebody who can relate to the levels of FML available. Someone who knows what it's like to be loathed by crazy-ass Tea Baggers.
It is.... *dramatic swell* HIS OPPONENT, ROBERT HURT.
OBVIOUSLY his life isn't as sucky as darling Tom's. How could it be? No crazy-ass hobos have tried to cut his gas line and ended up at his brother's house (doiiii). BUT, he is so hated by the Tea Partiers that they won't even endorse him against their sworn rival. Why? Because he once, ONCE voted to raise taxes. And now some dude is going to run against him as an independent. Even the DCCC is getting in on the game.
Click to viewConclusion: they are the two most hated men in Virginia, and thus, destined to be bros. ON ELECTION NIGHT THE TEABAGGERS WILL COME FOR THEM AND THEY WILL HAVE TO TEAM UP AND FIGHT EVIL, AND THEN HURT WILL GET SHOT IN THE ARM OR SOMETHING AND GO "DAMMIT, TOM, TAKE THAT SEAT, IT'S YOURS, IT ALWAYS WAS!!" AND SWOON AND DIE AND THEN PERRIELLO WILL GO ON TO FIGHT THE TEABAGGERS AND IN THE END THEY WILL DISCOVER GLENN NYE WAS THE RINGLEADER OF THEM ALL AND TOM WILL KILL HIM WITH THE FIVE POINT EXPLODING HEART TECHNIQUE. I'm not a political analyst or nothing but I'm 94.5% sure it's gonna happen just like that.