On My Mind.......
I have been at work it seems like the past a million days in a row. Im so sick of Park. I need a new job. and I swear ima start looking for one soon. I really hate it. All these new people or i should say semi new people roc has hired are totally annoying. Im not even going to list everything that i hate, i would be here for decades if i do.
Me and brandon arent doing to well either. He doenst know, or he doesnt seem to lead on to him knowing. I dont know if he has noticed, i havent really tried to let him know. Alot of things are bothering me. And normally anyone would be like just fucking talk to him about it, yall will get it worked out. but honestly its the same old shit that always bothers me. and i promise to god that i have tried to look over it, or let it slide. but it keeps eating at me and i hate it. it makes me so sad. and everytime we talk about all he every says is that he is sorry and that he wont do it anymore and maybe i should just leave him to make me happier so i wont have to deal with it anymore. but i dont want to leave him, i love him. i want to be with him! i just wish some of the things that happen would change. and he keeps telling me that hes working on it, but he has been telling me this for a long time. i dont know what to do, but the answer is not leaving him. i think i have cried myself to sleep for the past few nights. ya know that is after i have tossed and turned till like 5 or 6 in the morning. i dont know what to do or think. im not even sure i want to be putting this on here becaues he's bound to see it and then it will be another fight or more like the same fight over again that will end to same way only to be brought up again later on. fuck.
school sucks. thats why i left. i withdrew. before anyone thinks that im horrible for being a college drop out, i am going back. in like a semester or two. when i figure out what i want to do, im going back. i just want some time off to relaxe, get a major part of my jeep paid off, and repay dad my portion of my phone bill. just get a few things off my chest. and maybe finely succesfully start my diet that will actually work. and save up some money. i seem to be able to do that when im liveing at home, but when i was in my dorm it didnt work so much. so yea, i have alot of goals i want to complete before i go back into school. god help me.
im haveing a harry potter marathon at the moment, laters.
Me and brandon arent doing to well either. He doenst know, or he doesnt seem to lead on to him knowing. I dont know if he has noticed, i havent really tried to let him know. Alot of things are bothering me. And normally anyone would be like just fucking talk to him about it, yall will get it worked out. but honestly its the same old shit that always bothers me. and i promise to god that i have tried to look over it, or let it slide. but it keeps eating at me and i hate it. it makes me so sad. and everytime we talk about all he every says is that he is sorry and that he wont do it anymore and maybe i should just leave him to make me happier so i wont have to deal with it anymore. but i dont want to leave him, i love him. i want to be with him! i just wish some of the things that happen would change. and he keeps telling me that hes working on it, but he has been telling me this for a long time. i dont know what to do, but the answer is not leaving him. i think i have cried myself to sleep for the past few nights. ya know that is after i have tossed and turned till like 5 or 6 in the morning. i dont know what to do or think. im not even sure i want to be putting this on here becaues he's bound to see it and then it will be another fight or more like the same fight over again that will end to same way only to be brought up again later on. fuck.
school sucks. thats why i left. i withdrew. before anyone thinks that im horrible for being a college drop out, i am going back. in like a semester or two. when i figure out what i want to do, im going back. i just want some time off to relaxe, get a major part of my jeep paid off, and repay dad my portion of my phone bill. just get a few things off my chest. and maybe finely succesfully start my diet that will actually work. and save up some money. i seem to be able to do that when im liveing at home, but when i was in my dorm it didnt work so much. so yea, i have alot of goals i want to complete before i go back into school. god help me.
im haveing a harry potter marathon at the moment, laters.