This is not the Melissa you are searching for.
So, lately, I have been getting emails from a music studio on Roseville, CA. At first they were from Living Social and then from the studio itself. I thought they were spam and ignored them, until they started talking about invoices. I emailed back and told them they had the wrong person, but it seems the Melissa of America has a very similar email address to mine...
Hello Melissa,
We hope your day is going great!
Attached is an Invoice3656 in the amount of $45.00. As a reminder, tuition is due on the first lesson of the month. We accept online payments, check, cash, and charter school voucher/purchase order.
To make payment online, click on the following link - Make Payment. If you wish to make a payment in person, you may drop it our payment box located in the studio waiting area.
Please keep your account in good standing by making your tuition payment promptly!
If you have questions regarding this invoice, feel free to email or call us.
My reply (which in my head was quite sarcastic, since I thought it was just spam):
I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong email account. I have not used the site Living Social nor have I ever purchased music lessons from you. Partly as I have no intent to learn music and partly because you are an American company and I do not live in America.
Perhaps you should check your records and find the correct Melissa to invoice.
Best regards.
I got a reply from them, and assumed that would be the end of it...
Ooops... I am so sorry. Thanks for your graciousness.
Chuck
Ok, how cute is it that his name is Chuck? Do you think he's a super spy?
So the next day I get a repeat of the first email, and replied with this:
Dear Chuck,
I'm still the wrong Melissa. If you have a phone number for the Melissa you are looking for, perhaps you should ring that instead?
Good luck with getting your invoice!
Sincerely,
The Melissa from England who has never bought music lessons from you
And once again, I'd assumed that would be the end of it!
Oh no.
Hello Melissa,
I wanted to know if you will be continuing and if I should save that Monday night slot for you. Thanks.
Not from Chuck this time, but an Alan.
My reply:
Hi Alan,
I'm very sorry but there seems to have been a mix up - I'm not the Melissa you're looking for. I emailed someone called Chuck and told him that he was sending mail to the wrong address, but I don't think he's found the correct email to send things to. I actually live in England, so even if I were interested in having a music lesson, I'm afraid I couldn't make one on Monday evening ;)
Perhaps you'd have better luck getting a response if you rang the Melissa in question?
Best regards
Once again, I thought this was probably the end of things. No one is going to keep sending things to an address that doesn't get a reply, right?
Nope:
Hi Melissa,
I was wondering if you have an alternate email address that we can contact you at. Our billing system has been sending emails to a Melissa Taylor in England. For some reason it is converting your email address of m.t [not her email, obvs] to mt [nor is this mine, obvs].
Thanks for your help.
Chuck
Hooray! I got Chuck again!
And after writing a long email to the m.t address, it, surely enough, bounced into my inbox and presumably not hers. So of course, I replied to Chuck:
Hello Chuck,
Once again I'm sorry to report that it's still the wrong Melissa here. I tried to email the All-American Melissa using an alternate account, but that bounced into this inbox. Perhaps you could try emailing Melissa Taylors 70-79, to see if any of them are the Melissa of your invoice dreams. If not, it's possible one could know the whereabouts of the ever elusive Melissa Taylor of Roseville, CA, although I doubt it... If I'm anything to go by, we only emerge from our secretive burrows underground in the pursuit of chocolate, comics and apparently music lessons.
As I understand from a previous email, Musically Minded Melissa has a no-doubt melodious moment of Monday music mentoring. Perhaps you could catch her then? And then through the esoteric teachings bestowed upon all Studio Administrators extract from her a workable email address...
I have to admit, this saga of Which Melissa Is The Melissa We Can Get Money From is becoming quite entertaining ;-)
Best of luck in your intrepid quest for the Mythical 'Merican Melissa.
I admit it, now I'm just having fun.
Posted over at dreamwidth, comment here or there, or everywhere!
Hello Melissa,
We hope your day is going great!
Attached is an Invoice3656 in the amount of $45.00. As a reminder, tuition is due on the first lesson of the month. We accept online payments, check, cash, and charter school voucher/purchase order.
To make payment online, click on the following link - Make Payment. If you wish to make a payment in person, you may drop it our payment box located in the studio waiting area.
Please keep your account in good standing by making your tuition payment promptly!
If you have questions regarding this invoice, feel free to email or call us.
My reply (which in my head was quite sarcastic, since I thought it was just spam):
I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong email account. I have not used the site Living Social nor have I ever purchased music lessons from you. Partly as I have no intent to learn music and partly because you are an American company and I do not live in America.
Perhaps you should check your records and find the correct Melissa to invoice.
Best regards.
I got a reply from them, and assumed that would be the end of it...
Ooops... I am so sorry. Thanks for your graciousness.
Chuck
Ok, how cute is it that his name is Chuck? Do you think he's a super spy?
So the next day I get a repeat of the first email, and replied with this:
Dear Chuck,
I'm still the wrong Melissa. If you have a phone number for the Melissa you are looking for, perhaps you should ring that instead?
Good luck with getting your invoice!
Sincerely,
The Melissa from England who has never bought music lessons from you
And once again, I'd assumed that would be the end of it!
Oh no.
Hello Melissa,
I wanted to know if you will be continuing and if I should save that Monday night slot for you. Thanks.
Not from Chuck this time, but an Alan.
My reply:
Hi Alan,
I'm very sorry but there seems to have been a mix up - I'm not the Melissa you're looking for. I emailed someone called Chuck and told him that he was sending mail to the wrong address, but I don't think he's found the correct email to send things to. I actually live in England, so even if I were interested in having a music lesson, I'm afraid I couldn't make one on Monday evening ;)
Perhaps you'd have better luck getting a response if you rang the Melissa in question?
Best regards
Once again, I thought this was probably the end of things. No one is going to keep sending things to an address that doesn't get a reply, right?
Nope:
Hi Melissa,
I was wondering if you have an alternate email address that we can contact you at. Our billing system has been sending emails to a Melissa Taylor in England. For some reason it is converting your email address of m.t [not her email, obvs] to mt [nor is this mine, obvs].
Thanks for your help.
Chuck
Hooray! I got Chuck again!
And after writing a long email to the m.t address, it, surely enough, bounced into my inbox and presumably not hers. So of course, I replied to Chuck:
Hello Chuck,
Once again I'm sorry to report that it's still the wrong Melissa here. I tried to email the All-American Melissa using an alternate account, but that bounced into this inbox. Perhaps you could try emailing Melissa Taylors 70-79, to see if any of them are the Melissa of your invoice dreams. If not, it's possible one could know the whereabouts of the ever elusive Melissa Taylor of Roseville, CA, although I doubt it... If I'm anything to go by, we only emerge from our secretive burrows underground in the pursuit of chocolate, comics and apparently music lessons.
As I understand from a previous email, Musically Minded Melissa has a no-doubt melodious moment of Monday music mentoring. Perhaps you could catch her then? And then through the esoteric teachings bestowed upon all Studio Administrators extract from her a workable email address...
I have to admit, this saga of Which Melissa Is The Melissa We Can Get Money From is becoming quite entertaining ;-)
Best of luck in your intrepid quest for the Mythical 'Merican Melissa.
I admit it, now I'm just having fun.
Posted over at dreamwidth, comment here or there, or everywhere!