Blah...

[lulliloo821]

ughughughguhguhgughgugh...so I hate that this bothers me, but it does. The whole "motherly" persona I seem to carry is one that I would rather not portray, but it seems to haunt me. I guess I just don't understand. My corny jokes too...cm'on, I know I'm not the funniest person in the world...but everyone has their quirks, and some of them are HONESTLY made on purpose. It came up today at work, and I just couldn't escape...and I know it's all in jest, but what is that saying "Half in jest, completely in earnest". Now I am PMSing...so these emotions are heightened because I'm more sensptive than usual...(over share?) haha, but like I was telling Jimmy, Matt, and Jeff on Wednesday night: I don't really care for the person I have become since I have been at Assumption. I've changed, and I don't believe its for the better. When we were seniors, I had such a firm understanding of who I was...and I genuinely liked myself. Now I feel like I have turned bitter and a bit more cynical than I've ever been. I have regained those tendencies where I think everyone hates me; I've become that sarcastic person I was Junior year when everyone sort of couldn't deal with me anymore. I guess its affecting me more now than before because these opinions are sort of coming from two communities of people, and I suppose that means they are pretty much true. Did I mention someone even asked me if I had a child? Yea, someone at work actually thought I WAS a mom. rough. sooooooooo I guess basically what I'm concluding is...that I've lost myself...again. I'll turn up.

For now..."Peace, Love, and Music" -JTH