What Really Matters - 12/?
[Title] What Really Matters
[Pairing] Haehyuk, others to come
[Genre] Romance/Fluff/Drama
[Rating] PG-PG-13
[Summary] Donghae is the new kid in school and he immediately befriends shy and quiet Hyukjae. As Donghae’s popularity grows, his finds himself having to choose between Hyukjae and his popular friends, who don’t think he should hang out with the school ‘nerd’.
[Disclaimer] I only own the ideas in this fic.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Hyukjae was sitting in the library with Kyuhyun right next to him and Ryeowook and Yesung on the other side of him. He had come to the library to be alone and away from Donghae and the painful images that came with his presence. He knew he couldn’t skip all of the classes they had together, but he could get away with missing lunch.
He doubted that Donghae would bother to sit at their table during lunch, but that didn’t mean he could stop himself from looking over at the table he knew he would be at. And at whom he would be sitting with. He could deal with seeing Donghae alone. When it was just him, his mind was his worst enemy, relieving past images over and over again, but there was always that sense of unknown. What he didn’t see, for all he knew didn’t happen and as hard as that was, he could still deal with that. But if he saw the two of them together, he doubted he would be able to see that without breaking down.
He was sitting at a table in the back, in an attempt to hide from Kyuhyun, and had managed to successfully avoid him for almost 20 minutes, until he showed up with Ryeowook and Yesung. He hadn’t expected Ryeowook to show up, much less with Yesung in tow, but he couldn’t deny the slight comfort he felt with them there.
“Did he tell you what happened, Kyuhyun-sshi?” Yesung asked as Ryeowook looked at Hyukjae sadly.
“No. I just saw him come in after the bell rang, but I was helping a student. If I had known he was this bad I would’ve came back here sooner,” Kyuhyun said, poking at Hyukjae, who hadn’t spoken a word to any of them about it yet.
“Come on Hyuk, talk to us. What happened?” Ryeowook pleaded.
“I’d really rather not talk about it Wook. Actually, I would rather talk about anything else right now. Hyung, how is your turtle doing?” Hyukjae asked, putting his head in his arms.
Ryeowook was about to press the issue but Yesung put a hand on his shoulder, a silent signal for him to stop. Ryeowook looked reluctant, but nodded and decided to back off. At least for now.
“He’s doing fine Hyuk. But, he was a bit lonely so I got him two little brothers,” Yesung happily supplied.
“Seriously? You got more?” Hyukjae asked.
Yesung nodded and launched into a retelling of how his turtle told him he would get lonely when Yesung went to school every day and so he decided to get another one. But when he went to the pet shop there were only two turtles in the tank. He picked out the one he wanted, but he thought that the other one would be lonely if he took away his only friend so he ended up taking both of them home.
By the end of the story Hyukjae was thankfully distracted and Ryeowook was significantly bored, having already heard the story five times before. Kyuhyun had left around the time Yesung admitted that he talked to his turtles.
When they left the library, Yesung offered to walk Ryeowook to his music class, a not so subtle gesture of giving Hyukjae some time by himself while he still had the chance. He gave Hyukjae an encouraging smile as he pushed a protesting Ryeowook down the hall and Hyukjae nodded back in appreciation. He only had one more class until he had math with Donghae, and he was going to do everything he could to avoid him until then.
He started walking down the wrong hallway, deciding to take the long way to class so that he wouldn’t have to pass by Donghae only to freeze on the spot. Donghae was standing not ten feet from him talking to their teacher Mr. Park. Cursing his infinite supply of bad luck, he turned around quickly hoping to make it away unseen.
“Ah, Hyukjae. There you are. We were just talking about you,” Mr. Park called.
Hyukjae fought the urge to curse aloud. He turned back around with a strained smile, focusing only on Mr. Park’s face and pointedly ignoring the way Donghae was staring at him.
“H-hello,” Hyukjae said quietly, lighting bowing to him.
“We were just discussing your project. How are you two coming along?” Mr. Park asked.
“Ah, we’re doing good. Just fine. Almost done,” Hyukjae said quickly. He had suddenly planned on just doing everything by himself. He could see the confused look Donghae sent his way out of the corner of his eyes, but he still ignored the other.
“That’s great! I’m really anticipating it,” Mr. Park said, smiling at both of them. The warning bell suddenly signaled overhead, letting everyone know they had five minutes to make it to class.
“Oh, there’s the bell. You guys had better hurry and get to class,” he said as he shooed them away before turning his attention to the students that were arriving for his class.
Hyukjae turned around quickly, intent on walking away before Donghae had a chance to say anything but the latter had other plans and made a grab for his wrist before he could get away.
“Wait.”
“I don’t want to be late for class Donghae.”
“I won’t make you late, it’s just… I mean, what you told Mr. Park, we aren't done yet. We still have to-“
“I can take care of it Donghae. It’s not that much,” Hyukjae said, trying to free his wrist from Donghae’s grip, but Donghae pulled him closer, turning Hyukjae so that he was facing him.
“What are you talking about? Of course I’m going to help you. It’s both of our project.”
“But I don’t need any help. I can do it-“
“No, you can’t. That’s why it’s a group assignment,” Donghae said and Hyukjae opened his mouth to protest only to have Donghae cut him off again. “I know Ryeowook said that you needed time, and I respect that... I’ll give you your space, but Hyukjae… I’m not going to just abandon you.” Donghae’s grip on his wrist got tighter and Hyukjae tried to look away from the intense look that Donghae was giving him.
“D-donghae…”
“I’ll meet you by the gates after school. We can work on it at my house,” was all Donghae said, as he released Hyukjae from his grip and his gaze. Hyukjae watched him go with a heavily thudding heart and a tingling feeling where his hand had once been.
Hyukjae stood outside near the school gates, nervously waiting for Donghae. Half of him was hoping that he had forgotten about it and he could just leave and do it all by himself, but the other more annoying half was anticipating seeing him again. He would jump with a start every time someone walked passed him, thinking that it was Donghae and he would feel the oddest combination of relief and regret when he saw that it wasn’t him.
‘This is not a good idea,’ he thought silently. This was just all around a bad idea. Being alone with Donghae, at his house, was the exact opposite of what he needed right now.
Throwing all caution into the wind, he decided to just leave. Worst case scenario, Donghae would get mad at him for leaving and maybe ignore him, and that would solve one problem, but at the same time would create another, more serious one. He didn’t want Donghae to end up hating him. He stopped walking abruptly and bit his lip in worry. Would Donghae really hate him if he left?
He looked so serious when they talked in the hallway earlier, but when they were in class he didn’t say anything else about it. Could he have forgotten about it that quickly?
Maybe he was just concerned about his grades or didn’t want Hyukjae to think he would dump all the work on him, but what he said… it seemed to be more than just about a school project.
“Hyukjae!” He jumped at the sound of his name, turning around just as Donghae ran up to him panting. “Sorry, I’m late. I had some last minute plans to cancel. Were you waiting long?” he asked breathlessly, pushing his bangs out of his face so that he could look directly at Hyukjae.
“No,” Hyukjae said in a small voice, looking away so he wouldn’t meet Donghae’s eyes. He suddenly felt really guilty about thinking of leaving, especially as he took in Donghae’s disheveled appearance.
‘He probably ran all the way here,’ Hyukjae thought as his hand without thinking, reached up to fix Donghae’s tussled hair. Donghae looked at him with wide eyes and he immediately blanched when he realized just what he was doing and tried to quickly pull his hand away, but was stopped when Donghae grabbed his hand and met his eyes with a wide and happy smile.
“Thanks,” he said, still grinning goofily at Hyukjae, whose color had returned in full-force. “Come on, my house is this way,” Donghae said, pulling Hyukjae along by his captured hand.
Hyukjae stayed fairly quiet on the way, listening to Donghae chatter on and on about everything as if he hadn’t seen Hyukjae in months instead of just hours. Thankfully he stayed away from a certain sore subject, but Hyukjae didn’t know whether it was intentional or not.
He still kept a firm grip on Hyukjae’s hand the whole way there. Hyukjae knew that it was a bad idea; he should pull his hand away, or ask Donghae to let him go, but it seemed like his brain and body were operating on two different frequencies and he couldn’t seem to make himself do it. Donghae only released his hand when they reached the front door of his house and he had to pull his keys out from his book bag.
“Here we are,” Donghae said, opening the door and allowing Hyukjae to walk in first before following in after him. Hyukjae took off his shoes in the hallway and stood awkwardly as Donghae did the same.
“Oh, it looks like mom is out, and my brother’s away for school… so I guess it’s just us,” Donghae said as he walked further into his house, peeking around corners to see if his mom was around. The nervousness Hyukjae felt before paled in comparison to how he felt now.
“The printer in the den doesn’t work, so we’re going to have to use the one in my room. Is that okay?” Donghae said, as he gestured upstairs. Hyukjae tried to do what he thought was a pretty convincing nod, even though he was shaking so hard he could barely see straight.
Donghae either didn’t notice anything wrong or just ignored it and climbed the stairs and Hyukjae followed behind him at a significantly slower pace, willing his overly hyper senses to calm down. Donghae was acting perfectly normal around him, why couldn’t he be the same?
Right, he’s in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.
He walked into Donghae’s room a beat later, hoping that he could get this over with and go home where he could mope alone and in peace and not in front of the object of his affection and torment.
Donghae was booting up his computer, oblivious to the inner turmoil that he was unconsciously causing Hyukjae. He turned around and saw Hyukjae standing awkwardly in the middle of his room.
“You can sit down if you want,” he said, watching in amusement as Hyukjae looked from him to his bed, a pretty color adorning his cheeks as he sank down quickly to the floor and pulled his legs close to him. Donghae chuckled to himself as Hyukjae made sure not to touch anything but himself.
“Do you still have the first draft that we made?” he asked, logging on to the internet. Hyukjae nodded once, glad that they were getting right to work, and reached for his own bag, pulling out his folder and flicking through the papers until he found the one he wanted.
“I read over it and made some changes already. We just need to do the closing paragraph and add a little more information to the bio,” he said as he scanned the contents of the page. Donghae made a humming sound of acknowledgement and typed in what he thought was the name of the poet they chose.
“This doesn’t look right,” he said when the page loaded and he was asked if he wanted to participate as a subject to test some experimental drug. “What? This is the guy’s name right?” he asked, pointing to what he had typed in, and Hyukjae stood up and walked over to him, leaning over his shoulder to glance at the computer screen.
“You typed the name wrong,” he pointed out and reached over Donghae to type the name in himself, catching Donghae off-guard when he brushed against his shoulder. “There he is,” he said, gesturing to the screen when the right person popped up, and distracting Donghae from trying to figure why Hyukjae smelled so good.
“We only have stuff about where he grew up and his parents, do you think we should add in something about his schooling? Like where he went and what he studied?” Hyukjae asked.
“Er, yeah. Sure,” Donghae said, his eyes trailing Hyukjae’s jaw line. ‘How could a guy have such smooth skin?’ he questioned, suddenly having the urge to run his fingers across the skin there.
“Do you have a copy of the paper on your computer?” Hyukjae asked.
“Y-yeah, I do,” Donghae said, finally snapping out of his daze and opened the document. “Do you want to type it?”
“I can,” Hyukjae said, standing up straight as Donghae pulled his chair back and waiting for Donghae to get out of his seat so that he could sit down. To say that he was caught off guard when Donghae suddenly pulled him into his lap would be an understatement.
“D-donghae!” Hyukjae screeched, voice reaching an octave Donghae hadn’t ever heard him hit before. “W-what are you doing?!” he asked squirming around so that he could get free.
“You said you wanted to type it right?”
“Yeah, b-but I don’t have to sit on your lap to do it! Let m-me go!”
“But, this way I can help you.”
“I don’t need this kind of help!” Hyukjae tried to pull at Donghae’s hands that were secured tightly around his waist.
“The more you fuss the longer we have to sit here,” Donghae reasoned, loving the way Hyukjae’s face practically glowed. He had expected Hyukjae to put up a fight, but he didn’t think he would enjoy it this much.
"B-but, but," Hyukjae tried pulling at his hands again, but Donghae’s hold just tightened. “F-fine!” Hyukjae relented. “But you had better help me!” he insisted. Donghae nodded and smiled at his victory as Hyukjae put his shaky hands to the keyboard.
His heart was thrumming so loud in his chest he was sure that Donghae could feel it from the way he was pressed up against his back and he could feel the sweat collecting on his palms. He began typing as fast as he could, not even bothering to look up at the screen as his fingers flew across the keyboard.
“You spelled that wrong,” Donghae said in his ear as he placed his chin on Hyukjae’s shoulder, looking at the angry red line under a few words that Hyukjae had typed. Hyukjae closed his eyes shut and bit his lip to suppress a shiver from racking his body. Donghae was just too close for comfort.
“D-donghae, maybe I should-“
“You know, I really missed you Hyukkie,” Donghae said softly, closing his eyes and leaning against Hyukjae’s head. “It feels like I haven’t been able to see you in a long time.”
‘Because you spend all your time with Jessica,’ Hyukjae thought sadly, feeling more conflicted than ever. He wanted so badly to lean into the warmth that Donghae was offering but he knew that it wasn’t his to take.
“I miss you t-too,” Hyukjae said before he could help it, his voice cracking as he fought against the tears that weighed heavily on his eyelids.
“Hyukkie?” Donghae questioned, looking up and staring in alarm as he watched a tear slide down Hyukjae’s cheek. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked, trying to turn Hyukjae around so that he could see him better.
Hyukjae just shook his head, feeling helpless to stop the anguish he was feeling. He didn’t want to have this breakdown in front of anyone, but especially not Donghae.
“Hyukjae, please stop crying. Tell me what’s wrong.” Donghae nearly begged as his heart clenched painfully hearing the tortured cries that were spilling from his lips.
He reached up and pulled Hyukjae’s hands from his face, holding them firmly in his hands as the tears continued to fall. Hyukjae tried to turn away from Donghae but he couldn’t get too far and bit his bottom lip to try and stifle the cries that were pressing on his chest. Donghae gathered both of his hand into one and used his free hand to gently wipe the tears from Hyukjae face.
“Hyukjae,” he tried again feeling helpless, and Hyukjae looked up at him with the most heartbreaking look on his face. “Please stop,” he said softly, trailing his hand over Hyukjae’s chin in an attempt for him to release his lip from his teeth. He did, and let out a stuttering breath as it happened.
His eyelashes were wet and his face was flushed from crying. He looked so vulnerable to Donghae, but a part of him couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he looked. His lips were bright red from the abuse from his teeth and before he could stop himself he was running his thumb over it softly. Hyukjae’s eyelids fluttered and he looked up at Donghae with confused and startled wide eyes, a question as clear as day in them, but Donghae didn't really know what he was doing himself.
Donghae was leaning in before either of them realized it.
“D-donghae…” Hyukjae said breathlessly, having an inkling to what the other’s intentions were. “Don’t.”
“Why?” Donghae questioned, breath fanning softly across Hyukjae’s face.
“J-just, don’t… p-please.”
“Why?” Donghae asked again, not advancing any further, still giving Hyukjae the chance to pull away. But he didn't. He just shut his eyes, and let out another quiet ‘Please’.
Donghae slowly closed the distance between them.
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A/N: Well, I had more spanish homework so.... yeah, this happened. Oh, and I have a poll to run by you guys. (If LJ stops being a pain in the ass >>>:| ).
Edit: Well, I have no idea why the poll won't work; I've remade it a few times but nothing is working :\ . Heres a link to it. If you can vote THANK GOD!! If not, then please just let me know in the comments what you think instead. Thank you.