Wow, what a big cluster fuck...and it's all becasue of me...
___OK lastnight was a big misudnerstanding, this is like the second time that this happend, last time she thought I was mad at her because she spent the night and she thought that I didnt want her to, but I did. She should know that she is always welcome to stay the night, or what ever else that she needs.
_____Now last night she came home with Taco Bell and we ate it, it was almost as great as her, but she thought I was acting funny, I wasn't. I got off of Fruity Loops Studio and then ate Taco Bell with her. Later, when we were watching TV, she was acting funny, or I should say that I thought she was acting funny, or different then she normally does.
____She said she wasn't acting funny, and I asked her what she was thinking about and she said,
"nothing."
"Promise?"
"...no"
"What are you thinking about babe?"
"nothing, I'll tell you tomorrow"
___So after debating back and forth, I just let it go, I don't like to know everything but just what she thinks that makes her in a wacky mood. I care about her so much, I dont want to see her anything else but happy while she is with me. But I guess it's me over caring that is making her in a worse mood. So I have just gave up on having her trying to tell me that makes her in a different mood. She can have her thoughts, and keep them to herself, cause now
___I trust her to come to me when things bother her, I'm done asking, she is a big girl, and if she would like to tell me, then she will tell me, if not, then I guess I just wont know. She is working on opening up even more to me and I well wait for her to slip into her comfortability with me, she is, but not completely.
___ok, here is what I was thinking about...back on Saturday when we were about to cut her hair, I believe, or even before that, I went to give her a kiss, and then I wanted to make out with her, cause it's always good when you mix it up and put some tongue into the kiss or something. It wasn't an attempt to into sex or something, it was just something that would have been nice... ANYWAYS...she backed away from me and smiled [like, "I dont know what the hell you're doing, but that's not going to work with me"]so I backed off and wasn't about to do that again, and have her think that I was like her ex and would try to get her into the mood when she wasnt going to be in the mood anyways, so I left it be, and then that night and even Friday night, we didnt have sex, and then Saturday we didnt have sex. Then last night we were in bed and she was acting funny and I was like,
*Something is making her act differnt,
I'd like to know,
but you're not going to tell me,
so... I'll let it go*
....I'm not obcessed with sex, but every now and then I'll get this urge to want to give her oral, oh my God...that is one of the best thing to ever do, it makes me happy and she gets pleased... Most of the time, I dont even look for sex after I give her oral, because I pleased her and by me doing it, I'm pleasing myself.
...I dont live for sex, or Im not in this relationship for sex, casue if I was like that, then I would have broken up with her and went out with a slut. But this is kinda like getting me less expective? ...becasue now it was like... ever other day; or like here, skip a day, skip a day, here, here , skip a day, here. It has been what...5 days... maybe more, and Im doing pretty good, lets see if I can go for Thanksgiving, or maybe even past that. I think that I can, and I'll try for it.
I love you Dana Ann Blust, with all my heart, I wouldnt know what to do with out you in my life, I have grown so attached to you that no matter what you said or did would ever change my opinion of you. MUAH!
p.s. thank you for stopping by just now, that was really something... :)
_____Now last night she came home with Taco Bell and we ate it, it was almost as great as her, but she thought I was acting funny, I wasn't. I got off of Fruity Loops Studio and then ate Taco Bell with her. Later, when we were watching TV, she was acting funny, or I should say that I thought she was acting funny, or different then she normally does.
____She said she wasn't acting funny, and I asked her what she was thinking about and she said,
"nothing."
"Promise?"
"...no"
"What are you thinking about babe?"
"nothing, I'll tell you tomorrow"
___So after debating back and forth, I just let it go, I don't like to know everything but just what she thinks that makes her in a wacky mood. I care about her so much, I dont want to see her anything else but happy while she is with me. But I guess it's me over caring that is making her in a worse mood. So I have just gave up on having her trying to tell me that makes her in a different mood. She can have her thoughts, and keep them to herself, cause now
___I trust her to come to me when things bother her, I'm done asking, she is a big girl, and if she would like to tell me, then she will tell me, if not, then I guess I just wont know. She is working on opening up even more to me and I well wait for her to slip into her comfortability with me, she is, but not completely.
___ok, here is what I was thinking about...back on Saturday when we were about to cut her hair, I believe, or even before that, I went to give her a kiss, and then I wanted to make out with her, cause it's always good when you mix it up and put some tongue into the kiss or something. It wasn't an attempt to into sex or something, it was just something that would have been nice... ANYWAYS...she backed away from me and smiled [like, "I dont know what the hell you're doing, but that's not going to work with me"]so I backed off and wasn't about to do that again, and have her think that I was like her ex and would try to get her into the mood when she wasnt going to be in the mood anyways, so I left it be, and then that night and even Friday night, we didnt have sex, and then Saturday we didnt have sex. Then last night we were in bed and she was acting funny and I was like,
*Something is making her act differnt,
I'd like to know,
but you're not going to tell me,
so... I'll let it go*
....I'm not obcessed with sex, but every now and then I'll get this urge to want to give her oral, oh my God...that is one of the best thing to ever do, it makes me happy and she gets pleased... Most of the time, I dont even look for sex after I give her oral, because I pleased her and by me doing it, I'm pleasing myself.
...I dont live for sex, or Im not in this relationship for sex, casue if I was like that, then I would have broken up with her and went out with a slut. But this is kinda like getting me less expective? ...becasue now it was like... ever other day; or like here, skip a day, skip a day, here, here , skip a day, here. It has been what...5 days... maybe more, and Im doing pretty good, lets see if I can go for Thanksgiving, or maybe even past that. I think that I can, and I'll try for it.
I love you Dana Ann Blust, with all my heart, I wouldnt know what to do with out you in my life, I have grown so attached to you that no matter what you said or did would ever change my opinion of you. MUAH!
p.s. thank you for stopping by just now, that was really something... :)