174;

[lullabyexile]

i'm really tired of being friends with people who aren't happy for me when i am happy. i'm tired of thinking that people i am close to secretly hate me when things are going well in my life. i have a nice boyfriend and have achieved moderate success in various photography-related things, but i feel bad about it. i realized that's not good at all

Comments

[xdizzydance]

Hii hi, I don't really know what to say except that I'm so sorry you've been feeling like that, oh my gosh! I feel like I know the feeling, but I'm not sure that I do. But it's sad, it's too sad, because you have done a lot of great things, and sometimes people are too wrapped up in themselves and too wrapped up in jealousy to acknowledge that. People are flawed, and they often don't realize it. Or maybe they realize it too well. I don't know, but either way, it's awful.

I haven't talked to you in so long! I guess we always say we ought to catch up sometime but I know I'm too awkward to do anything, and I'll go ahead and assume you are too. And I'm sorry about that. But I am always thinking about you and I've been reading that you've been doing really well and I've been so happy for you. It's weird to hear that things are really kicking off with your art and to think about all the times when we were young and we'd say that would happen. It's nice; in some ways it feels like things are turning out exactly as they should. Not in all ways, of course, but in some ways, in ways like that.

Your boyfriend seems really nice and you two seem really happy together and I'm so happy about that! I've got a great guy too now; things are really falling into place, I think. :)

We ought to catch up sometime. A lot of time has passed, but I always like hearing about what's going on. And hiii.

(Also I am downloading your mix because you listen to such neat music!)

[lullabyexile]

ahh this is so weird! i seriously had a dream about reading your livejournal last night, haha. how crazy!

anyway yes, we really should catch up sometime! my screenname is "teledaisie," or if we ever happen to be back in rockford at the same time, i think we ought to get a coffee night crew meeting together. i miss those! i've been reading your posts too, though you don't update as often as i do lately, haha, but i'm so excited for you, too, about your teacher suggesting you submit to literary journals and stuff! it really is like how you said it, how everything we talked about when we were younger sortof actually happening and stuff like that. and what you said about other people, too, you described it really well. it's really frustrating but it's not like you can blame those people for it.

(and yay, i hope you like it! i entered a contest awhile ago to try to win jimmy eat world tickets to a show they were playing, where they were going to play clarity in its entirety. it was going to be so awesome, but unfortunately i did not win. :[)

[xdizzydance]

That is weird!

That would be really nice! Amanda is in Vietnam right now, actually--she went for five weeks for school. But it would be great to get everyone together again. I think everyone wants to do it, too.

Haha, yeah, I've been really bad about Livejournal lately. Things have been really consistently good, and sometimes I feel silly making constants posts of "Oh hey, life is still happy." I'm excited about the journals too! I'm trying not to get my hopes too high, but it would be so so so so great.

Aww yeah, I heard about that concert, and it hurt me so much that I couldn't go (lack of transportation always ruins everything). That would've been such a great show!