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well i know it's summer because i've got bruises on my knees, scraped-up shins and twenty thousand mosquito bites too. today i cleaned up my room at my father's house and it actually looks really nice. i don't think i ever appreciated this room enough, with its wood on its walls and wood on its floors, slanted sage green ceilings, and the ornate glass lamp at the top. i wish it was a chandelier but i remember when i used to live here, my dad said i couldn't have a chandelier because it would hang too low. there's an air conditioner in here now. i love window air conditioning units, i don't care how much of a waste of energy and all that they are. i love the way they smell and sound. i wish i could extract the smell of air conditioners and make a perfume. i wish i could extract the sound of air conditioners and make a symphony.
in an abandoned house i found a picture of a mountain on a lake, and i liked it so i took it home and taped it on the wall above my bed. it's really hopeful to me. i like to look at it, i don't know, it's really hopeful. also from the house i took a book of the arabian nights stories. it has some nice drawings in it. i think i want to start reading children's literature, like arabian nights and alice's adventures in wonderland and heidi. also i found a working typewriter, but that was in my closet. i forgot i bought it i guess. it's light blue and seafoam green and electric. it works and it makes me really excited. i get excited about things like this but i never do anything about it. i get excited because sometimes i feel like writing and i feel like i could maybe write something but i never do it. it's too big of a deal. i don't know where i'd even start. i think about ideas for pictures a lot lately too, even just from things i find on the ground, i think, "oh i could make a picture with that." i never feel creative in the summer, it's weird, i don't know what to do with it all (i don't actually do anything, i just waste time by cleaning my room and flirting with boys who i don't find very interesting).
i am supposed to go look for apartments in chicago soon. i am really excited. i hope we get a really wonderful apartment. i don't know if i'm going back to school, but i know that i will at least go back to chicago. this is a choice i am making. i will try to love the city again and i will try to forget all of the associations i made between places and people who aren't going to ever come back anyway. i wish i was in the city for the summer, i love summers in the city, i like it when the air tastes like the colors it looks when the sun is setting, orange and strawberry and pomegranate and blue. if you can taste air. i don't know what i'm talking about. i like it when people have their windows of their apartments open at night and you can see the light inside. i don't like the crowds outside of bars or the people in my way, they make me nervous and i don't like it when the sun is too hot and there are so many people around. i like it when the roads are big and empty and there's nobody around.
here, sometimes i am social and i'm with these groups of people and i don't want to be there, at least lately anyway. the first few weeks of summer it didn't bother me much, but now i find the things they say uninteresting and their basement parties boring. i guess it's not their fault. i can't tell if the people are getting worse or i'm just getting meaner. i found a way to make money easy. donating blood plasma. i got forty dollars on tuesday and i'll get forty more on friday, tuesday, and friday. anytime after that i will only get fifteen because i am small and cannot give very much plasma. i'm also going to try and sell some clothes. there was a big flood here and we went swimming in the flood water, which is a bad idea because there are lots of bacteria, but it was fun and there was a playground half underwater.
in an abandoned house i found a picture of a mountain on a lake, and i liked it so i took it home and taped it on the wall above my bed. it's really hopeful to me. i like to look at it, i don't know, it's really hopeful. also from the house i took a book of the arabian nights stories. it has some nice drawings in it. i think i want to start reading children's literature, like arabian nights and alice's adventures in wonderland and heidi. also i found a working typewriter, but that was in my closet. i forgot i bought it i guess. it's light blue and seafoam green and electric. it works and it makes me really excited. i get excited about things like this but i never do anything about it. i get excited because sometimes i feel like writing and i feel like i could maybe write something but i never do it. it's too big of a deal. i don't know where i'd even start. i think about ideas for pictures a lot lately too, even just from things i find on the ground, i think, "oh i could make a picture with that." i never feel creative in the summer, it's weird, i don't know what to do with it all (i don't actually do anything, i just waste time by cleaning my room and flirting with boys who i don't find very interesting).
i am supposed to go look for apartments in chicago soon. i am really excited. i hope we get a really wonderful apartment. i don't know if i'm going back to school, but i know that i will at least go back to chicago. this is a choice i am making. i will try to love the city again and i will try to forget all of the associations i made between places and people who aren't going to ever come back anyway. i wish i was in the city for the summer, i love summers in the city, i like it when the air tastes like the colors it looks when the sun is setting, orange and strawberry and pomegranate and blue. if you can taste air. i don't know what i'm talking about. i like it when people have their windows of their apartments open at night and you can see the light inside. i don't like the crowds outside of bars or the people in my way, they make me nervous and i don't like it when the sun is too hot and there are so many people around. i like it when the roads are big and empty and there's nobody around.
here, sometimes i am social and i'm with these groups of people and i don't want to be there, at least lately anyway. the first few weeks of summer it didn't bother me much, but now i find the things they say uninteresting and their basement parties boring. i guess it's not their fault. i can't tell if the people are getting worse or i'm just getting meaner. i found a way to make money easy. donating blood plasma. i got forty dollars on tuesday and i'll get forty more on friday, tuesday, and friday. anytime after that i will only get fifteen because i am small and cannot give very much plasma. i'm also going to try and sell some clothes. there was a big flood here and we went swimming in the flood water, which is a bad idea because there are lots of bacteria, but it was fun and there was a playground half underwater.